Oneness Ministry

We are One

Celebrate Diversity

Sexual expression comes in many different flavors, and is possibly as unique as the number of people on our beautiful blue planet.   The old school wants us to conform to the old ‘boy meets girl, girl has baby’ scenario and while that does serve its purpose as a race we are moving beyond that.  Relationships are so much more than adding one more baby to the rising population, or even the aspect of replacing the self.  The world may appear to be a binary system with only men and women, but I can assure you it is not. 

Sexual orientation is an aspect of gender that Dr. Carl Bushong describes as “Brain Sex”.  “Our love/sex patterns, and how we relate to others on a social and interpersonal as well as sexual level, often referred to as our “Sexual Orientation”.” (1995) This aspect, like gender identity, is hard wired from birth, which means our brains, being much like a computer, are programmed to be attracted to certain physical attributes, genders and personalities. 

To restrict every person on the planet, all 6.8 Billion +, to being either heterosexual or homosexual is unrealistic.  Instead it is much more feasible that each person on earth has their own unique sexuality which falls into several categories.  The categories as they exist today are, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, and pansexual.  There are a few other words being used but overlap these so I will stick with this list.  Within each category will be a sliding scale so that each person falls somewhere on the scale and is not necessary stuck exactly in that spot, although they will stay within a category. 

Just briefly hetero means opposite sex attraction, homo means same sex attraction, the (a) in asexual means no sexual attraction, the (bi) in bisexual means both sexual attraction, and the (pan) in pansexual means all sexual attraction.  I do not like the term bisexual because it implies there are only two sexes, male and female.  This is the old world paradigm and no longer works (if it ever worked).  Pansexual includes everyone and applies to anyone that is sexual but not strictly attracted to the opposite or same sex.  This term is far more appropriate in today’s society. 

The whole labeling game gets a little absurd after a while because the terms become contradictory and putting people into boxes is both confining and inaccurate. For instance, a transwoman who is attracted to women is lesbian or are they heterosexual since they were born into a male body?  And what about the woman who was attracted to this person not realizing they were transgender?  Does that make them a lesbian?  So what if it does? 

The world is coming out!  We are becoming more aware of gender identity and sexual orientation, which is leading to more understanding and eventually to more acceptance.  I ask only that you stay away from the labels as much as possible and simply love the person.  This is why I like the Pansexual label best because it is defined as “A sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.” (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexuality#English, 2010)

Who you are attracted to should not be grounds for discrimination. (In reality there are no grounds for discrimination) Could you imagine if the world judged you on the grounds of your attraction to hair color?  “Oh you like redheads, uggg or ewww”!   Actually Blondes often get joked about and while it may be in fun, it is only fun to the person joking.  Sexual orientation is just another of many category’s that are used to separate or define humans.  Being unique is a gift, and it makes us lovable and desirable.  Just think of a rare diamond or rare flower.  Uniqueness is a desirable trait in our society, so why not extend that to your relationships.  Celebrate differences and LOVE the person – stop separating!  We are One – one big family of Human. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Sexual Attraction

Sexual orientation is sometimes confused with gender identity, so I would just like to make it clear that they are different aspects of every human.  It could be that they are aspects for dolphins and apes too, however since I don’t speak those languages I really have no way of knowing. 

The big difference with Sexual orientation (SO) is who we are attracted to and gender identity (GI) is who we feel ourselves to be.  Neither is determined by anyone but yourself, so do not let anyone, doctor, parent, partner or friend tell you your S.O. or G.I.  It is up to you to tell whomever you are comfortable telling and only when you are ready.  Attraction is an innate function of our being that we do not have to do anything to have, however sometimes knowing what it is can be confusing, especially for young adults.   

Friendship attraction is different than sexual attraction and I believe many people confuse them.  I make this statement based on internet sites like yahoo.answers.com.  So many young folks are asking if they are gay or lesbian because they are attracted to a person of the same sex.  As a transsexual woman I can relate to this more than you know.  There are so many beautiful people in the world, it is hard not to be attracted to them.  During the young years when our libido is revving up this is especially so. 

Knowing the difference can be a level of degree.  Meeting someone and having a good feeling inside, but not necessarily intense feelings is the first stage of attraction.  This is common and can be felt with every person you meet.  Finding a person visually attractive, pleasantly smelling, and fun to be around is the second degree which I will call friendship attraction.  Sexual attraction is the overwhelming desire to touch another person, either with your hands, by a kiss, through sexual intercourse or a combination of all the above!  It is important to understand that this attraction is unmistakable, and if you doubt your feelings then they probably fall into the friendship level of attraction.  

My new book will be going into more detail about attraction, love, sex and sexuality, so keep an eye open for that.  I realize that this is an over simplification of the levels involved.  Attraction, like gender can be put on a spectrum scale where one end has repulsion, and range all the way to obsession.  The points of this blog are not to place judgment on where you fall on this scale and instead give yourself permission to love whomever you choose.  Love is the way.

Along with Loving whomever you choose comes responsibility and with that levels of maturity.  Love is a two way street so if “the apple of your eye” is not responding, then what you are feeling is ego love or manmade love.  True love is of Great Spirit or God and when you feel this it is returned to you 10 fold.  This is how you will know when it is true Love.  One of the roughest transitions we go through is maturing enough to know true love when you experience it.  There is no limit to whom or how many times you can have this experience.  Joy is the key and is felt within your heart. 

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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