Oneness Ministry

We are One

What Is Gender, Part II


Continuing with our look at What Gender is let us consider it more specifically.  Gender Identity is a person’s innate sense of being masculine or feminine, which cannot be determined until the person is at least 3 years old and often it is 5-6 years of age before anyone is able to know the true gender.  Since gender is an inner knowing of the individual no other person is able to determine the gender.  It is up to the child to express their gender when they learn to speak.  The Native Americans knew this and would not name their child until they were 4-6 years old in order to allow them to express their gender identity and find their place in the tribe.  A baby name or generic name was used up until this time and often the naming involved the entire family including the child and sometimes the tribe.  Once their name was given the person wore it like a badge of honor, because it reflected their very nature, their Great Spirit.


Context of usage is very important and I would like to clarify this right here.  What I have described here is Gender Identity, what the parents are told at birth is the physical sex, how the person dresses is the gender expression and how this person acts in society is the gender role they are playing.  So you must see the context of the word usage before you can understand which gender is being referred to.  As I pointed out before the word sex has many uses so be sure to determine the context in which it is being used.


A vision of society I would like you to embrace is the Native American idea of allowing the child to choose, and get away from using physical sex to describe a child – most children as I stated above have no gender till they are 3-6 years old.  As a parent, how do you know it is a boy or a girl?  Fortunately the children being born today are more aware than ever before and they are expressing their gender identity at a very early age.  Many parents understand this and respect their child, however others do not, so we each can help by raising the general knowledge of Gender and what that word means.  I would love to see a society that reflects the wisdom of our ancient peoples by honoring gender identity and not assigning gender roles, instead allowing the child to choose the role that fits them.


A few words about the differences of gender role and gender expression, while they are similar they are different in that gender expression is about outer appearance and gender role is activity.  So wearing make-up and female clothes is a female gender expression, while a female gender role would be cleaning house and babysitting.  I hesitate to include this here as our roles and expressions are getting to be so varied and free.  The old rules are breaking down, so we are seeing women in active military duty now while 20 years ago this was almost unheard of and men are cleaning house, washing dishes, and babysitting.  The best way to put this is man and women are integrating now as a society and our roles and gender expressions are so much more open.  New gender roles and expressions are emerging with each new soul born.




🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth


Unity in Gender Diversity     FREE eBooks! Click Here




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What Is Gender, Part I

What is gender and why do I care?  Most people in society go about their business and never give their gender a second thought; however, I have a light to shine on this subject so we can all have a deeper understanding of who we are and why this is important.  Every day we interact with any number of individuals and with repeat interactions we can say we know a person.  The level of interaction will vary in importance and significance to us.  This aspect of our being called ‘gender’ is actually an important function of how we react to others and how they treat us.

Of course gender is just one aspect of our nature, we have many others including but not limited to, personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, physical attractiveness, body habitus, sexual orientation, intelligence, common sense, and self-actualization.  When we meet someone new a few of the first things we notice are the persons size, gender, attractiveness, and how comfortable they are with themselves.  The package you present is a total summation of your nature and nurture.  So some aspects are a gift from birth and others are learned along the way.  The innate ones such as size, gender, sexual orientation, common sense, and physical attractiveness (for the most part) we must do our best to live with.  This means personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, body habitus, intelligence, and self-actualization are learned.  These are attributes of our nature that we have somewhat of control over.  Gender falls in the attributes that are innate meaning we are born with our gender and we cannot change this.

If we look a bit closer we see that there are different aspects of gender that are important to our understanding, such as gender identity, gender expression, gender role, and physical sex.  One of the challenges we have today is the popular confusion of gender and sex which are often used interchangeably.  If nothing else I would like you to come away from this blog with an understanding of the differences of these two words.  Sex is a word which has many usages and thus the confusion creeps in.  In thirteen different definitions come up with this simple 3 letter word, so I will not get into every definition here.  When we are born the first thing the parents want to know is, “is the child a boy or a girl” and in this case we are talking about physical sex not gender identity or even gender role.  Our physical sex is determined by the physical body parts we are given at birth, but with today’s new surgical techniques this can be changed if need be.  Is a woman who has had a complete hysterectomy still a woman?  Is this person still female?  What factor is it that makes a person male or female?  What makes a person man or woman?  Where does gender fit in?

More next time as we explore gender identity and what it means to each of us.

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     FREE eBooks! Click Here


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Gender Roles

Continuing from yesterday on the subject of gender roles, please read yesterday’s blog first.  I will get into the new eBook more on the next blog.  Gender role is something that many people take for granted and accept without question.  Others though are never comfortable in their gender role and live in the traditional roles of the opposite sex, for example a woman in combat military duty, fighting on the frontlines, or a young man who babysits and works in daycare. 

Obviously there is nothing wrong with this, my point here is that the roles that define man and woman are blurring.  Many young readers will question this blog as so what!  However the older reader will remember when the thought of a man working at a daycare was not acceptable, nor was a woman in combat!  Women did not break into male dominated professions till early in the last century and only on an exceptional basis.  Medical doctors for instance were all men till 1849 when Elizabeth Blackwell graduated from medical school in New York.  Now days 50% or more of medical doctors who graduate medical school are female. 

Many vocational professions still shun women, so why is this?  Is there really a reason why a woman cannot fix a car or fire a weapon?  I will tell you that from my view women are feminine in essence and for that reason are usually not ideal for aggressive vocations such as fighting.  The real issue comes in with stereotypes and is perpetuated by learning.  We are taught from the day we are born what a particular gender does.  If your sex was male at birth then you are taught what the gender roles of men are.  If for some reason you participate in a woman’s role then you are disciplined or corrected. 

Physically each person has gifts that give them an advantage and putting those gifts to work makes a lot of sense.  When it comes right down to it, anyone can do any job, however some people will have an advantage in certain work situations.  It is important to see the person for the skills they possess and stop using gender as a clear indicator as to whether this person will be good at it.  If a woman wishes to do wood carving or car repair and becomes good at it then they should be welcomed as much as anyone else.  The same goes for men who enjoy working with babies or love to sew.

Male privilege is something that also figures in here, because traditionally men have been more accepted than women no matter what they do!  This is changing in today’s world, thank goodness, however it still exists and all I ask is that you see it and stop supporting it.   All people are created equal in God’s eyes.

Personal relationships challenge our gender roles more than anything else, so I would like you to look closely at your life.  Do you treat the opposite gender differently?  Why?  Is it ok for a woman to open the door for her man or for a woman to buy flowers for her partner?  If they do does this make them masculine?  Is this just common courtesy?  Should we put limits on what a person can do just because they are a certain gender?  Or should we listen to our heart and do what feels good?   I think you know the answer to these questions and there is no right answer, only what works for you!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Gender Expression

The following quote is from the new eBook coming out next month. 

“A few words about the differences of gender role and gender expression, while they are similar in that they are a choice, they are different in that gender expression is about our outer appearance and gender role is the activities we are involved in.  So wearing make-up and female clothes is a female gender expression, while a female gender role would be cleaning house and babysitting.  I hesitate to include this here as our roles and expressions are getting to be so varied and free.  The old rules are breaking down, so we are seeing women in combat duty now while 20 years ago that was almost unheard of.  Men are cleaning house, washing dishes and babysitting now days too and this does not make them female.  The best way I can put it is that we are integrating now as a society and our roles and gender expressions are much more open.  While a man in a woman’s role or a woman in a man’s role may be questioned, or even ridiculed, more of society is accepting them now.  Gender expression is the area which has less latitude.  In a male dominated society men expressing as woman are questioned far sooner than a woman expressing as a man.  It is assumed that everyone wants to be male!  (Not to imply this is choice.)”

I am sure you have an opinion on this topic and I am curious to hear what you have to say.  Gender expression has slowly gotten more liberated over time.  Just like anything else it goes through cycles.  The world today is shifting from a male dominated society to one that is more balanced and Matriarchal.

If masculine energy is active, feminine energy is passive.  We have both for a reason and right now the balance is shifting!  As much as it seems that there is much to do, take time every day to simply do nothing.  Play relaxing music if you like, but just take a few minutes at least to just sit and listen to the silence.  Get in touch with your feminine energy, the passive side that is soft, easy going, caring, compassionate and smooth.  Let go of the masculine energy or active side.  There is no need to be strong, hard, angular or aggressive right now.  Just relax and feel the peace.  The world needs your Peace, your Passivity and your Silence. 

Gender expression is about what you show the world.  The desire to live an authentic life and feeling free to do so is everyone’s right!  Just because you appear to be man or woman does not make it so.  Just because you act one way or the other does not make it so either!  So how does one know if they are in the right body and gender expression?  They just do.  Gender is an inner feeling or knowing that most of us never question, if you are questioning it then I suggest you visit the website below and discover more.  The next blog will discuss gender role and preview the eBook Sex and Sexuality.  Ta ta till then,

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

 Unity in Gender Diversity

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