Oneness Ministry

We are One

Transgender Regret

Is it real? Do trans* individuals have regret? How can anyone know what is “real”? I have been studying this all my life. The fact is that you cannot know what works till you try it. This is why when the Standards of Care for Transgenders was first established they had a mandatory trial period. Live as a woman for 2 yrs and if this works then move on with CHT and Surgery. Yet over the years this has become less and less till now it does not exist at all. In fact the whole treatment is a recommendation only and totally relies in the judgment of the patient. While I do agree we should have final say here I also know that we are too close to see the truth.

“After de-transitioning, I know the truth: Hormones and surgery may alter appearances, but nothing changes the immutable fact of your sex.” (

My comment on the above article: I would say I knew this going in, but would not accept it. It’s good that Walt got the therapy he needed to heal. Suffering is inevitable in this life, so have no regrets about that. At the age of 58 (transitioned at 45), I feel like gender is meaningless and sex is fixed at birth. I was warned repeatedly and yet I “had” to do it or would die. Just how I felt. I focus more on Spirituality now and less on the physical which does change. Spirit never changes and this is the rock I need. I am not my body, I am free….

“Yet, in hindsight, after transitioning from male to female and back again, I see that many important topics are ignored by such advice, placing vulnerable people at risk. Four crucial omissions are most obvious and problematic.” Read the article for these 4 valid points.

Alas the power of the mind. We have no concept of just how powerful we really are. It is our dream after all. Yes, I know now that life is but a dream so I “row, row, row”. Actually during transition I dove deeply into Spirituality, not religion mind you, but spirituality. I found ACIM (A Course In Miracles). A famous ACIM author refers to life here as “psycho-planet” and basically the course teaches that life as we know it is Ego, not ego as Freud defines it, but more like everything you experience. It is easy to understand how a transgender mindset can take hold in a world that hates you (because you hate yourself). ACIM teaches the Ego is trying to kill you, because this would prove that the Ego is real, that death is real. Jesus is teaching us just the opposite. The ego sends us on wild goose chases that end back where you started and Transgender is a perfect example of this. Instead of seeing perfection we are taught to see fault. We are sinful at birth according to Christianity. The world is based on guilt! ACIM teaches forgiveness, not because we are sinful, but because we are Not. Because we mistakenly bought into the whole delusion.

So do I regret Transitioning? Yes, and No. Deep down I knew the result before I started. It’s not about the destination, but the journey. I needed this journey. I needed to get over my fear of Love, my need for acceptance, and most of all my feelings of guilt associated with it all. Yes, I do have a very strong feminine drive, yet I was born male. Some say that is the very definition of transgender. There is nothing wrong with me though, and I know it. Gender and even physical sex is an ego mind manifestation. There are rules to life here on psycho-planet and one of them is sex is fixed. Gender is more of a mindset or concept than a reality. I actively seek the good in life (the dream) so I can awaken to the truth. God is all there is, there is no “me”; “I” is ego. Letting go of this while focusing on Holy Spirit is the way home. For more on ACIM, I recommend “Disappearance of the Universe” by Gary Renard. For more on Trans* Regret, just scour the internet. I found story after story, some ending with suicide and others with life going on. Walt Heyer is the later.

Sequoia Elisabeth

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How Necessary Is SRS?

When is surgery for Gender Dysphoria appropriate and necessary?  Should a doctor do the sex change just because an individual says they want one?  Gender Identity is a person’s own concept of who they are – it cannot be proven by science, so does a person’s word stand as gospel?  These are questions care providers specializing in gender must deal with on a daily basis.  The rule many are adopting lately is the informed consent rule, while others stick with the WPATH Standards Of Care (SOC).

Let’s look at both to see what works best.  The WPATH Standards of Care 7 was just released in 2011.  It is put together by specialists in Gender treatment, including physicians, surgeons, psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists.  One of the first things they point out is gender non-conformity is not the same thing as gender dysphoria and should be treated differently depending on the severity of the individual’s condition.  It is largely the mental health care provider’s responsibility to guide the individual to a discovery of the extent and intensity of discomfort or dysphoria they are experiencing and if this experience is constant or intermittent.  A copy of this publication can be downloaded for free at this link. (

“Surgery – particularly genital surgery – is often the last and the most considered step in the treatment process for gender dysphoria. While many transsexual, transgender, and gender nonconforming individuals find comfort with their gender identity, role, and expression without surgery, for many others surgery is essential and medically necessary to alleviate their gender dysphoria (Hage & Karim, 2000).” (SOC 2011) (Italics and Bold added)

Informed consent as I refer to it here is not the traditional form used in all medical procedures for legal reasons, it is simply the verbal understanding between patient and provider of how the individual identifies and then treatment ensues based on the individuals testament.  It is used because as stated before no one can prove a person’s gender identity.  Even the individual may have doubts about it which are to be taken in consideration by the provider.  This is why counseling therapy is so important in my opinion; because if the person has other psychological conditions they may get the idea they are transgender when it is simply a masking by this overlying condition.  It is also good to get several different opinions to confirm the person’s gender dysphoria before prescribing hormones or doing any surgery.  The big difference is the SOC method recommends a letter from a licensed practitioner and the informed consent method does not.  The provider just takes their word for it.

Obviously the question of which works best is still being worked out, so I will leave it to you to decide while sharing my opinion from experience.  The SOC have been in use since 1979 and takes a conservative approach to treatment.  The informed consent method is more cavalier and puts the responsibility squarely in the hands of the individual which may be the appeal for both the practitioner and the patient; however I question if it is really in their best interest.

To wrap this up it is every individual’s responsibility to ask questions, do research and know as much as possible before reaching any conclusions or taking any actions.  Make sure you know which method your provider uses and what is required of the individual in the treatment path.  Trust your gut!  Or to say that another way, listen to your soul.  It knows the path you need take and get a second opinion before making any life changing decisions like living full time, taking hormones, or having surgery.  It is my opinion that surgery is a last resort used in the most severe cases of dysphoria.  I also believe that everyone, yes even cisgender individuals experience gender dysphoria although it is often a brief experience precipitated by an external event perhaps through someone else’s dysphoria.  There are other types of dysphoria also, like the feeling you are from another world or are really a non-human being, but that is another story all together!  Those individuals are referred to as Wanderers if you would like to do further research.  Till next time readers, Blessings on your Journey of Love ♥

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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MtoF Transition

The usual course of transition for a MtoF transsexual is to first dress as a woman and to socialize with your peers prior to taking the major step of CHT or Contra-Hormone Therapy.  Crossdressing and socialization does not need to be on a full time basis, although according the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) they do recommend full time dress for at least a year before surgery.  Socializing as a woman is very different than as a man so getting used to that aspect is greatly beneficial in both determining if you desire to progress and gaining the skills necessary to be successful.  Many things will come naturally for you such as mannerisms, emotional behavior including your needs and desires, and mental processes, because these are wired into the brain.  What may not be so natural is movement, social expectations and relationships, because these are learned.  Transition is basically the process of breaking down our learned “male” persona and allowing our natural female self to emerge.

It is important to be patient with the transition process and allow these things to occur naturally, although counseling, feminine coaching, and voice therapy do play an important part.  A skilled counselor can guide your path and point out aspects that are not natural if they are not obvious and help you get in touch with your authentic self.  The feminine coach is valuable in helping you to get in touch with feminine energy and develop its expression.  I must say the first time I felt my feminine energy vs. my masculine energy it was a revelation!  Being aware of our body’s energy and what we are projecting is very important.  For women to truly be feminine for instance do not project that energy, simply center yourself in it and this simple act will attract others.  This is the nature of receptive feminine energy.  I have posted a link on the gender links page of my website to The Yin Project who I highly recommend. 

Voice therapy is very important also and I suggest that you start this process as soon as possible, even before transitioning if you are planning that far ahead, which most of us do not.  Please see these recommended links.  I also recommend getting electrolysis started as soon as possible and depending on your age, I recommend doing laser first to clear the dark hairs and let the electrologist focus on the light hairs.  Don’t let the electrologist tell you that laser is not permanent because I know that it is from experience.   Links on this website page go over the whole process of transition planning, so this blog will stay focused on what to expect.  More info can be found on the website.  Expect laser to work and with about 6-8 treatments the dark hairs are gone for good.  Multiple treatments are necessary because of the growth cycles of hair, and just ask the person doing the hair removal to explain.  With the proper hormone regimen the face is the only area to be concerned with unless you are unusually hairy and I know that some men are.  That is OK (it doesn’t mean anything, unless you say it does, lol). 

The hormones do a remarkable job of reducing body hair and stopping male pattern hair loss.  Find a doctor who specializes in CHT for transgender/transsexual persons, because doing this yourself or using a doctor with little or no experience is setting yourself up for failure.  It can be done on your own, but that is contrary to what this whole journey is about in my opinion, which is to fully and completely experience the transition.  Many transwomen want to jump straight to the result and if that was the way it was meant to be then don’t you think that you would have been female from birth?  Please remember this blog is from my experience and if you desire a different experience then make it so.  More on this subject can be found here.   

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity