Oneness Ministry

We are One

The Truth About Bullies

We have been hearing much about bullying in the schools and elsewhere recently.  It is being blamed for suicide, criminal behavior, and general pain and suffering.  Once you understand what is going on, the blaming can stop and the healing can begin.

Bullying is a vicious cycle that is handed down from generation to generation, by individuals who simply are not aware of what they do.  They are generally more concerned about themselves than they are about others.  Yes, I speak of the parents who in their struggle to survive, ignore their children and sometimes even abuse them.  Bullying is something that must be learned and it is often a byproduct of neglect and abuse.

Looking closer it is something we can all relate to, even those who grew up in loving supportive families.  Why is this?   I mean if bullies are from broken homes, how can an average child relate to this?  There must be more to this than meets the eye!

The fact is we all have to deal with bullies to some degree because it is a rite of passage!  Not that it is required, however we all have egos and part of growing up is facing the ego.  The Oneness Principle that I speak so often about dictates that there is only one, so everyone you meet is a reflection of you or an aspect of you.  Some people refer to this as meeting your dark side.  (You will find whatever you are looking for, i.e. expecting)

Have the courage to stand your ground while not stooping to the bully’s level.  Fighting only makes it worse, whether you use fists, words, or other retaliations.   What you give is what you receive!  Do onto others as you would have done to you.  If someone bullies you, calls you bad names, hits you, harasses you, etc. then your re-action will determine the outcome.

First of all understand they have probably endured the very same thing and are simply passing it along.  They are in pain also, and are venting in the only way they know how.  It is a compensation behavior designed to feel better, but unfortunately it only makes the pain worse.  Oh, it may work temporarily to relieve the pain by giving it to someone else, but since this is a circle it only comes back!  And usually it has picked up momentum and hurts worse.  It can be a dead end street that leads to drastic places, like prison, and suicide for both the bully and the “victim”.

There are no victims my friends, only volunteers!  The victim mentality is of the ego and serves to prove its existence.   There is no enemy here, not even the ego!  This is very important to understand.  There is only you!  The answer is Love, Self -Love ultimately, but it can start by loving others, including the bully.

Even if you cannot forgive the bully at first, simply withhold judgment or any action and know they simply are crying out for love and do not understand what is really going on.  No action is necessary, but if you feel the need then stand up for yourself and seek assistance from someone in authority, a teacher, parent, policeman, counselor, or adult friend.  Maturity is what the situation demands.  Talking about the situation can be a great relief.  Understand that you are not alone.  Seek and ye shall find.  Remember the bully needs more help than you do!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     FREE eBooks! Click Here

 

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The Other Side of the Coin

For every person who is suffering, there is someone who is living in Joy.  For every person who is bullying others, there is someone who is Loving all who they meet.  Often the bully’s are hurting as much or more than their victims.  High school is a right of passage that all Americans experience.  How you handle it is not only a reflection of who you are, but of how you were raised!

Puberty is a time when so many aspects of life are changing and it is when those who are gender incongruent smack head on with a wall of confusion.  Not to mention figuring out sexual orientation.  If you have ever looked at the questions on sites like yahoo answers the number of questioning teenagers is amazing.  They are discovering sexuality and gender identity from different perspectives and finding what works best for them and this goes for all teenagers.  The environment in which they are raised will have much to do with whether they feel safe to be themselves.

Are you providing an open, loving and accepting environment for your children to grow up?  Do you set an example for them by treating everyone you meet as an equal?  In order to create a world of equality, one must embody it first!  As we do this then those who follow will do the same, it is human nature. 

There can be no better role model than Jesus Christ.  When you fully understand his personal teachings you will have the skills to be a role model.  I recommend A Course in Miracles (ACIM), A Spiritual Sex Manual, and The Art of Spiritual Peacemaking for starters.  There are literally hundreds of books and teachings that are based on these teachings.  One of my favorites that applies to the discussion of bullying in our schools is posted below.  The before mentioned books teach how to do what this prayer suggests. May your journey be a peaceful and prosperous one. 

Christian Prayer for Peace

 
Blessed are the Peacemakers for they shall be known as the Children of God.

But I say to you that hear,

love your enemies,

do good to those who hate you,

bless those who curse you,

pray for those who abuse you.

To those who strike you on the cheek offer the other also,

and from those who take away your cloak, do not withhold your coat as well.

Give to everyone who begs from you,

and of those who take away your goods, do not ask them again.

And as you wish that others would to do you, do so to them.

 

If anyone needs this explained to them please contact me, I am more than happy to get into the details and meaning of this prayer.  To me it is self evident what it means, however from the state of affairs worldwide many do not understand this prayer, much less read such things.  May we all be Blessed in our Journey of Love!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Bullying?

Bullying is getting blamed for a string of suicides in the LGBT community.  Since I am not responsible for my own life, it must be the other guy’s fault, especially those mean kids who call me names and disrespect me.  Right?  This is portentous ground we travel on here!

Here is a video from the “It Gets Better” project started by Dan Savage.  They offer some compelling statistics and a convincing argument against bullying.  Is this not a “no brainer?”  Harming anyone in any way, verbally, physically, or mentally is simply wrong, not because there is a right way and a wrong way, but because what you do onto another, you have done to yourself!  The Oneness concept is so important to understand in this regard. 

Suicide is hard to explain because the individual committing the act is not around to explain.  However, since there is but one mind, the reasons can be ascertained by simply looking at the individual’s life.  Being a transgender woman who has attempted suicide I can tell you from personal experience it is not about blaming anyone.  All suicide is a cry for help on some level.  The reason anyone commits suicide is because they have no other options they are aware of.  The key is “aware of”.  Let’s give our children options!  Anyone who has felt different or for some reason stands out must learn to deal with their situation. 

Once again I am very familiar with this as a 6’11” transwomen!  The best gifts I have received along my path have been coping skills combined with Loving support.  There is often at least one person in your life that cares enough to show you that you are Loved.  For me it was my Grandmother, along with others in my family who taught me that I am a worthy individual and a valuable person in this world. 

Is this not what we all desire?  A gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person is no different than anyone else in this regard.  We are human beings and we need to treat all members as equals!  Just because someone is different is no excuse for abuse! 

This Transition Blog’s main purpose is to teach coping techniques and Spiritual concepts.  I am telling you now that when you have something to believe in, something larger than yourself, getting through the difficult situations that we all face is so much easier.  You are never alone.

The other thing that helps get you through the rough spots is having friends; a community that supports you and loves you for YOU.  I know that sometimes you feel like you cannot trust anyone, not even yourself!  As the world closes in on you all goes dark, there is no way out!  So Hara Kari wins…  It does not have to!!  There is always another choice, all ways and always! 

The one thing that has helped me lately is to help others.  When you help others you are helping yourself, it is an awesome principle. “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Bullying Is Nothing New

Bullying happens at all ages, but during the teenage years it is especially difficult to handle because this is too young to have developed good coping skills.  So in keeping with the theme of this blog, I would like to share my perspective on bullying.  When President Obama makes a public plea to the American people to put a stop to bullying, you know the issue has grown to a level that needs attention. 

The recent suicides that have made the news are nothing new, although they are tragic.  The reality is that teens are susceptible to suicide whether they are LBGT or not, but it is actually the elderly that have the highest rate of suicide.  While it is good to look at this issue and yes all children should be able to grow up in an environment free of bullying.  The core issue here is not bullying, but respect for Life itself!  Our children need to be taught to respect all life and to understand that everything they do, even little “jokes” are harmful when taken the wrong way or when they are allowed to get out of hand.  For every action there is an equal and opposite re-action!  The simple laws of physics can be applied. 

When statistics are consulted the evidence shows that the middle age (45-54) and elderly years (75+) are the most likely time for suicide per the World Health Organization in a 2005 survey.  The LGBT suicide rate is reported to be 2-3 times higher than average for teens from a study reported in 1999, although to me that seems a little out of date being at least 11 years old.  The point of the statistics here is to point out the issue is not new, but is just getting well deserved press and exposure.  The rules have not changed and our reactions should be the same regardless of what the world throws at you.  Do onto others what you would have done onto you!  Children do not always think about such things, so it is up to adults to model this for them, to remind them in a loving manner that everyone has feelings and to make them accountable so the lessons stick.  Compassion can be used in all means of discipline!  It is important to keep the wounding to a minimum when facing these issues. 

Suicide attempts are a cry for help and it is help we need to be offering, not drugs or punishment.  These kids need our Love and Compassion!  They need support and someone to show them there is nothing wrong with them.  Being Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, or Transgender is not abnormal, weird or anything of such.  It is a normal biological variant in the mammalian species and other species as well.  The law of probability shows that anything that is possible will eventually occur.  Certain conditions occur more than others.  Our differences are not to be condemned but celebrated!  We are each special in our own way, this is our gift to the world!  See this in another, like in the movie Avatar, “I SEE YOU”!  See the value that each person possess and celebrate it, acknowledge it, accept it. 

The answers always lay within, so to help another help yourself first by Loving yourself for who you are, no matter what that may be.  Then you have the basis to share from.  Everything you do is setting an example for someone else, so teach with your actions by accepting and loving everyone you meet just as they are!  It is only as hard as you say it is.  Life is Simple, easy is up to you!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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