Oneness Ministry

We are One

One Raindrop Raises The Sea

What is your story and how does it fit into the larger societal story.  Think of yourself as a pebble which just got dropped into a still pond.  There is your ripple, and as they move out they include the birth family ripple, your friends ripple, the community you live in ripple, … your state, country/nationality, etc. etc.  The ripples never stop and extend far beyond this place we call earth.  Each ripple is an identity with its own story.  If you have ever played in the bathtub, a pond, or sat by an enclosed bay you know the ripples will bounce off each other creating a “chop” or chaotic wave pattern.  This is how life is; we are each one ripple in the mighty waves of the much greater ocean.

So what if you wish to change your story or perhaps you have a certain view of your story and everyone else has theirs.  For instance, you see yourself as an easy going, creative person with a deep insight into the workings of the world and your family and perhaps friends see you as a mentally ill, free loader with their head in the clouds all the time.  We each have a story.  Just how these stories mesh is not always neat and smooth.  Any teenager can tell you that!  The real question is does their version of your story matter to you?  The answer I stick with is; “what you think of me is none of my business”, however, it does matter in the big scheme of things.  Not so much to you but to them.  How you think of another, you actually believe about yourself.  So their story of you reflects back on them.  All you can do is accept them for who they present and get on with living your life.

The dynamics of relationships can get complicated really fast, just as the ripples do in the bathtub.   It’s not your task to calm the waves.  Your task is to ride them out and forgive those who trespass against you.  Your task is to support your own story and allow them to have theirs.  Just don’t be fooled into thinking you can change your story without also affecting theirs!!

Coming out for any reason sends shock waves in all directions.  It is like doing a cannonball right in the middle of the pool!  The reason does not matter, it could be coming out as gay, transgender, having some disease, being mentally ill, or even harboring radial beliefs.  If your inner circle does not also relate then your story change will exclude them.  It is like the repulsion of a magnet.  With time it is possible for alignment to occur, if and only if, they accept your story.

One could say it is just a story.  Why do you want to mess up my story by changing yours?  This is not fair to the rest of us.  I call this an invitation to take a guilt trip, but to take this trip you must first buy a ticket.  There is no need to give in to others.  We can all have a story (and do) and still respect others and their story (this is up to you).  So the plot changes from time to time.  Plot twists make it all the more interesting!

It is never ‘just’ a story.  Your story is vital to the workings of this world and without it we are all diminished.  Think of yourself as one candle and everyone else each being a candle.  Together we are as bright as the sun, removing one candle diminishes the whole or to put it another way, quoting Dinotopia, one of my favorite stories, “One raindrop raises the sea.”

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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Mirrors of Friendship II

Transition is a long and sometimes arduous journey so it is very important to treasure each moment of Joy and each success along the path.  Doing this alone is certainly possible, but the Joy grows exponentially when there is someone who cares to share the experiences with.

Often the decision to begin the transition journey i.e. come out to your partner or parent(s) is the biggest challenge.  Will they accept you?  The real question is do you accept yourself?  The only way to know if you accept yourself is to observe how others treat you.  I know this may seem backward or strange, but this is just how it works.  Understand this… you are all there is, all else is a reflection of who you are.  This may seem odd and self-centered, but it is the Truth and it is both good and bad news.

I call this the mirror principle.  Life is often like living in a house of mirrors, and it can get pretty confusing.  This being said let’s get back to your partner who is having difficulty with your coming out news.  Each person in your life has their own vision of you… as a reflection of themselves, because from their perspective they are the only person there is!  So, be gentle with your expectations of them just as you are gentle with your expectations of yourself.  Do on to others as you would have done on to you, because they are you!  We are One.  Each person is an individuation of the whole; the One; all there is.  All those who are close to you will transition with you or they will fall out of your life.  Transition/change is like walking into a new room, if they do not come with you,… well you get the idea.

When you think about this it explains a lot about the reactions and treatment you get from others.  You may or may not be treated well, however the longer and deeper your understanding of this reality the better life gets.  Those who see themselves to be like you or see something in common are going to be supportive and understanding (and vice versa).  This is a great reason to join a support group!  The internet is a great place to look for one, or you could ask around, network with friends and if you still need help, contact me – I am here for you.  The time spent with others on a similar journey will help you to better understand yourself and give you the opportunity to grow self love.  The Love you give is the Love you receive!  Not only do support groups offer much needed information such as where to go to get the things you need, what to look out for along the path, and who can help you; they show you who you are and I find this to be the greatest gift anyone can offer!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     FREE eBooks! Click Here

 

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Livin Large

This year of 2012 is the year of coming out and living large!  There is no time like the present, so why not make your dreams be true right now?  You think there is something to lose?  Do you think living someone else’s dream, following their path, or obeying their rules will make you happy or fulfill you in any way?

I am not suggesting that you get in anyone’s business, only that you take care of your own!  YES, take care of yourself.  Listen to your heart (soul) and follow your own compass.  The brain is logical and we have been taught to follow it’s guidance and that has gotten us to where we are now.  What I suggest is to let go of logic and rational thinking, in fact let go of all thinking.  Of course you cannot do this completely…unless you do.

Limits are created by you for you.  They are intended to direct your path and protect you from danger.  What they have become though is a walled off room with no exits.  Even a maze has exits!  Get out the “metaphorical” dynamite and create an exit…  Listen to your heart and you will know what to do.  There are no mistakes, only scenic routes and direct paths.  It is your choice which path you travel.

Unity in Gender Diversity is here to help you in this Journey!  The words of wisdom offered on its pages are intended to motivate, inspire, and guide you to reach for the stars!  Just as this blog does.  If you have not read previous blogs, please look them over and read the ones your heart guides you to read.  Be not afraid, the answer lies within!  Within your heart, within the pictures you see, the words you read, and the feelings you experience.  “Life is simple; easy is up to you!”

Transitions Blog is packed with psychological coping techniques, spiritual principles, and metaphysical musings.  If you have a specific question, please write the author and make it known.  Or simply leave a comment on this blog or another one.

Unity in Gender Diversity wishes you a most Joyous New Year!

Make what you will of it

 

😀 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Free eBooks (including “Livin’ Large”) click here

 

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Coming Out Process

Coming out is a tiered process that starts with a personal admittance.  It then touches those closest to you and branches out.  The depth of your personal admittance determines the effect you experience and in many ways determines the reactions others show you.

It is like an explosion with shock waves which reverberates out and back again.  The energy you put out will come back to you!  This is why it is so important to do your inner work or shadow work and forgive yourself to start with. (Even though there is nothing to forgive, but the illusion forgiveness is necessary.)

Coming out is usually a LGBTQ thing, however it can apply to any aspect of your life that you have denied.  It is a way of getting to know yourself; a labeling process if you will.  Self-identity is so important in society and will determine your success in this world.    The reason is simple, as a beacon of energy your thoughts are transmitted out to the world and come back to you in your experiences.  Love yourself and the world loves you back!!  Hate yourself and watch out!

Are you aware of your inner feelings?  Have you sat in front of a mirror and looked deep within your soul (eyes)?  This is the first step in coming out!  The next step is to embrace this identity and live it.  Live the life you know is right for you!  Share with those close to you… “I have great news…etc.”.

The next tier of coming out is to dress and act in a fashion that is authentic to your soul.  Allow those close to you to see the person you truly are within.  It may be like coming out all over again so be patient with them.  Maintain your positive attitude and allow them space to adjust to the new you.  Ask them not to jump to conclusions and offer to educate them or for them to do it themselves.  This is why websites like this one exist, to educate on gender and sexual orientation.  This is a soulful, spiritual journey, thus the Spiritual Learning Center is offered as well.

As the journey progresses you will get to know yourself better and so will your friends and family.  It is a win-win because we are all in this together!  So, coming out is a process that begins within and is shared with close friends, family, and associates (conceptual level).  It then progresses to the visual and interactive level where you are living the life you desire in the fashion you choose.  After a time, this will become natural and the process goes deeper and sometimes goes full circle leading back to where you started, although now this state has been processed and everyone is comfortable with it, most importantly you!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity    Free eBooks

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Coming Out

Coming out transgender is received differently than coming out GLB, except for your partner your Gender Identity has more effect on people you know than your Sexual Orientation does.  Some people may confuse the two and make assumptions, so I offer these things to be aware of when you make the leap.  Plan ahead and make sure you are OK with it first. 

  1. Be prepared for shock and disbelief, especially from those closest to you.  Think of how shocked you’d have been to learn of something like this about someone you thought you knew very well.
  2. Some will feel angry and betrayed and may judge you harshly.  Try to meet their anger with compassionate understanding.  Remember that they may be fearful of ‘losing’ someone of great importance in their lives.  Recognize that your transition may cause pain and hardship.  Acknowledge this pain and avoid being defensive. 
  3. Try to resist reacting with anger, as this will only make things worse.  Others are justified in feeling angry about your transition, just as you are justified in feeling the need to transition.
  4. At times you may feel euphoric about your self-discovery.  Caution against assuming others are feeling the same way about you.
  5. Expect skepticism with regard to the necessity of transitioning.  This is a natural reaction – treat it with patience.  These days, most people understand that being gay is not a matter of choice and being closeted is not healthy, so it may help to compare the need for gender transition with the need to accept one’s sexual orientation.  Treat efforts to “dissuade” you with good humor and respect.
  6. Be prepared for suggestions that your transition is a selfish choice.  If you feel you had no other choice, don’t be afraid to say so.  Ultimately, only you are qualified to judge this.  
  7. Your transition will be bewildering to many, who will look to you to help sort out their feelings.  If you maintain a positive, good-humored attitude about your transition, others are more likely to respond in kind.  Be positive about how you expect your transition to affect your life.  This is very important both for you and for others acceptance.
  8. For many, adjusting to your transition will take some time.  Keep in mind that you have spent much of your life dealing with these issues, while most have given them little thought.  For those who are disturbed by your transition, taking your time may help more than anything else you could do.
  9.  Feel free to offer information about being transgender, but don’t assume that it’s welcome.  Make clear that you welcome questions and are happy to discuss your transition.  Many are full of questions, may even be fascinated, but are reticent about prying.  When explaining transgender, do it with grace and sensitivity – don’t lecture or pontificate.
  10. As a transperson, you probably have thought more about what “gender” means than most folks.  Many will learn a thing or two about themselves when you share your experience with them.  Remember to be interested in their growth around your transition, just as you want them to be interested in yours.
  11. The type of relationship you establish before you come out will likely have a big effect on how the coming out is received.
  12. Some of your family and friends may celebrate your courage, rejoice in your finding yourself, and congratulate you on your breakthrough.  Don’t forget to show them how much their support means to you.

I Bless your journey of Love and offer my assistance if needed.  Visit my website, Unity in Gender Diversity for contact info and more information on transition both spiritual and gender related. 

I Love YOU,  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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