Oneness Ministry

Gender Related Transitions

Sexual Orientation

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Sexual expression comes in many different flavors, and is possibly as unique as the number of people on our beautiful blue planet. The old school wants us to conform to the old ‘boy meets girl, girl has baby’ scenario and while that does serve its purpose as a race we are moving beyond that. The world may appear to be a binary system with only men and women, but I can assure you it is not.

Sexual orientation is an aspect of gender that Dr. Carl Bushong describes as “Brain Sex”. ‘Our love/sex patterns, and how we relate to others on a social and interpersonal as well as sexual level, often referred to as our “Sexual Orientation”.’ (1995) This aspect, like gender identity, is hard wired from birth, which means our brains, being much like a computer, are programmed to be attracted to certain physical attributes, genders and personalities.

To restrict every person on the planet, all 6.8 Billion +, to being either heterosexual or homosexual is unrealistic. Instead it is much more feasible that each person on earth has their own unique sexuality which falls into several categories. The categories as they exist today are, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, and pansexual. There are a few other words being used but overlap these so I will stick with this list. Within each category will be a sliding scale so that each person falls somewhere on the scale and is not necessary stuck exactly in that spot, although they will stay within a category.

Just briefly hetero means opposite sex attraction, homo means same sex attraction, (a) means no sex attraction, (bi) means both sexual attraction, and pan means all sexual attraction. I do not like the term bi sexual because it implies there are only two sexes, male and female. This is the old world paradigm and no longer works (if it ever worked). Pansexual includes everyone and applies to anyone that is sexual but not strictly attracted to the opposite or same sex.

The whole labeling game gets a little absurd after a while because the terms become contradictory and putting people into boxes is both confining and inaccurate. For instance, a transwoman who is attracted to women is lesbian or are they heterosexual since they were born into a male body? And what about the woman who was attracted to this person not realizing they were transgender? Does that make them a lesbian? So what if it does?

The world is coming out! We are becoming more aware of gender identity and sexual orientation, which is leading to more understanding and eventually to more acceptance. I ask only that you stay away from the labels as much as possible and simply love the person. This is why I like the Pansexual label best because it is defined as “A sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.” (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexuality#English 2010)

Who you are attracted to should not be grounds for discrimination. Could you imagine if the world judged you on the grounds of your attraction to hair color? “Oh you like redheads, uggg or ewww”! Being gay or lesbian is no different since you have no business what they do behind closed doors. LOVE the person and stop separating! We are One, one big family of Human.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

What Next?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Having decided that you are indeed transgender, what next? For those who do not know, it is not always easy to accept that you are different than most people. I mean we grow up knowing who we are and relating to the world through our eyes but we do not know what a woman is supposed to feel like or how a man is supposed to feel. We have no frame of reference as a child.

Gender is something that only the individual can decide or more accurately discover! I am speaking of gender identity which has little to do with sexual orientation. That will be an entirely different blog. Our physical sex does not determine our gender identity and I have a great article explaining all that here on my website.

There is an innate feeling of misalignment for the transgender person, however so many of us want to fit in believing that this determines our love. We often think that acceptance comes from people around us like our parents and siblings. I am here to tell you that it does not. Acceptance comes from within our own minds and hearts after we have come to terms with our true nature. While transgender may be a variation of natural selection it is not wrong, bad, a disorder or a disease. It is simply who you are!

Once you have discovered who you are, and transgender individuals often have a sense of this at an early age, the journey becomes accepting yourself; loving the differences while noticing the similarities also, because acceptance is loving the whole package. Honor the feelings you have inside by allowing them to express. Look deep inside and embrace your findings with courage. If you need help along the way ask! This inner journey is something that everyone must do in order to grow and to expand their understanding of who they are.

If you are someone who loves a transgender person then I salute your choice and your bravery. Love is not about right or wrong it is about discovery of the deeper self. It is a two way journey and a blessing for everyone participating. Love is unconditional and it often chooses us, by this I mean we fall into it quite unknowingly. Once there it can be a wonderful and magical experience when embraced. The unknown can be scary so let me assure you that nothing but good comes from Love. To be continued….

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Is It Time?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

How do I know I am ready to transition? What do you think about when you wake up in the morning? What are you thinking about when you go to bed? Are you thinking about it all through the day? In this case you probably already have started your transition. I of course am speaking of transitioning from male to female or female to male in order to express ones gender identity.

Many people who are not transgender ask the question, why do you need to transition at all? To many TG’s the answer is obvious but let me just clarify. Being transgender is living a lie unless we can express ourselves as who we truly are. We need to transition as much as anyone needs to be understood and loved! If you can imagine going through life without love, never being understood, not being able to express your ideas, and not being able to live your visions and dreams, then you know what it is like to not transition.

There is an energy expressing in us, through us, as us and to withhold that energy is impossible. It must be released or the person dies, or harms another. It really is very simple, are you being the person of your dreams? If not, then why? Are you fulfilling your destiny? If you are truly a transgender person and you are living your birth sex then no you are not fulfilling your destiny.

This is not something that pops up at the age of 35 or 40 all of sudden. This is something that has been with you since birth and you have been denying it. If you have no memory of having gender doubt or feelings of not being in the right body then you are not transgender. And I mean constantly for years and not just a few times.

The important thing is to live your life authentically and be true to who you are inside. In order to do this you must be honest with yourself. And you must get to know yourself. Some of us are so busy living stereotypes and expectations of others we don’t even know who we are. Being alone is very important for this and I would suggest taking a camping trip or weekend in a remote place with no electronics. Simply be with yourself, feel your feelings, write your thoughts down, find things that you enjoy. How are you creative? What are your best features? What would you like to share about yourself with the world?

Once you figure out who you are, then share that with those closest to you. Find those who are supportive and be willing to let go of those who are not, and this sometimes means letting go of those closest to you, parents, children, spouses, family. You deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are! Please do not hide from the world. You are loved and our purpose here is to share that love. Being Transgender is a gift, just like being a genius or a natural athlete. If all the above describes you then maybe it is time to transition.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Let’s Review

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Coping tools for Transition are the main purpose of this blog so let’s do a review here. Transition is all about change and can include anything from moving to a new city, starting a new job or embracing a change in physical gender. There are no two transitions quite the same, so please apply these techniques to your situation.

I have talked about many things so far, but the most important tools I have discussed are the 6 senses of the mind which began Feb. 2, 2010. If you have not read these I would recommend you go to those blogs and give them a look. The mind is a powerful thing to waste!

The other tools I discuss are awareness, compassion, community, and Universal Laws. The topics I discuss include Death, 2012, time, visioning, gratitude, unity, oneness, Love, morality, relationships, the transsexual transition, post-op regret/grief, jobs, societal perception, introspection, and journeys.

Looking over this list there are a few subjects I have not covered well and will be including in the days to come. I will be talking about community, support groups, suicide, and anything that my readers suggest. Having some feedback on subjects that you are interested in is most helpful, so please write to me and let me know. If you found this blog without going to my website then please pop over and give it a look. Unity in Gender Diversity

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Who are you?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Who are you? Are you sure about that? How you see yourself and feel about yourself is very important, however it is our actions that truly define us. Our thoughts and prayers are simply one step on the path to discovering who you are. The creation process works like this, thoughts, words, and action. Each cycle of this process further defines who we are. Being true to our word and staying focused on our desire is one way to hasten the process. When we send out consistent messages combined with actions to back them up then the Universe has no choice but to manifest our dreams!

Consistency is the problem that most people face and this simply comes from discipline and focus. Always do what you say you will do, be honest with yourself first and then others, and make no promises you cannot keep.

Be easy on yourself too. We all slip up from time to time, so try not to beat yourself up. It is very true that we are our own worst enemies, so make peace now. Begin by looking yourself in the eye (mirrors make this very easy) and saying “I love you”, feel it deep within. Do this every day and see how you feel in a week. I do this on a regular basis, as often as I remember to. This may seem egotistical but it is not, because you are not speaking to the image in the mirror, but the Spirit that makes up the image. “To thine own self be true”.

So this brings us full circle to, who are you? For me there is no set answer, only the feeling at the moment. Sometimes I am Peace, sometimes Love, sometimes Divine Feminine, and sometimes I am simply me with no identity at all.

While I am not my body, my body is an expression of who I am in physical form. Yet when I look in the mirror I feel that I am more than this. I feel so limited in this body; like a prisoner of flesh. The Journey of Love that leads to discovery of our inner self can be a long and lonesome road, but it can also be fulfilling and joyful. What do you expect to find at the core of your being? The same thing that I find at the core of mine? Could be, we are one!

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Related Transitions

Keeping up with the Jones’s

by Sequoia Elisabeth

God makes us all different, but it is the ego mind (ego is equated with the psyche or mind of man) that feels that it is incomplete and wants to make everything the same. That keep up with the Jones’s mentality is what gets so many of us in trouble. Why? Simply because we are driven to be something we are not. This happens with gender too. Maybe you feel like you are not a “good” woman or man, but somehow inferior. You know the game, my thighs are too big or too small, my waist is fat, or I am way to short. All the comparison we make of our bodies to others is driven by this inner feeling of insecurity controlled by our ego mind. Now I am not here to bash the ego, far from it. Instead I would say that the ego serves its purpose, but it is important to realize when the ego has control over your actions. Basically I use this method to know if I am in my “right” mind (not ego mind). I simply get in touch with my feelings and focus on the area in the center of my body. If I am feeling good, then all is OK and I should proceed, but if instead I feel a tight tension, pain or sick feeling then I should re-assess my actions. I call this soul guidance, because feelings are the seat of the soul. Your Higher Self or soul is communicating with you through your feelings! Are you listening? When you are thinking of beginning a transition be it a gender transformation or a work transition, whatever, check in with your soul! One thing that many people do not realize is that no one can tell you that you are a man or woman. Gender Identity is subjective and only you know how you feel. Many of us know that we feel like a woman very early on and some report as early as 2-3 years old, however many of us do not make that connection that I have this body, I should be feeling this way! Why? We have no idea what it feels like to be one sex or the other we only know how we feel and that it is either right or wrong. I never felt wrong, I only felt like myself. I had no idea in my early years that I was a woman. I was given a male body and I accepted that the way I felt was male! Only later after puberty did I feel like wearing woman’s clothing. By this time programming had taken over and I was locked into living a lie! I did question reality so to speak when I was 17, but Harry Benjamin had just released his very strict guidelines for transition and I was a bit freaked out by them. I mean living a full year as a woman with no help what so ever, no hormones, no surgery, and even the prospects of having counseling help seemed very remote. So I did my best to be the man everyone else expected me to be. I was living in my ego mind! I would have brief moments of “sanity” when I would ‘crossdress’(which in reality was dressing properly in truth). We can only live the lie for so long before things start to break down. The feelings at this time of transition can be tricky. I was scared to death of being “caught” and yet I did it anyway because it felt so good. It just felt right! From what I have learned over these last ten years is that these urges to crossdress come in cycles and for most male to female transgender persons it runs around 15 years, and what I mean by this is that we have a period of crisis urges where we dress appropriately or freak out! Now I am fully in Transition and loving my life as my natural self! See this is the key to it all. Being yourself! Now many of you will say, Duh o.O! Not everybody lives their authentic selves, even in the transgender world some people are still living a life they believe others want them to. They are conforming to a bi-gender world, were we are either male or female. The fact is that gender is a spectrum and you can be any combination of male and female. Few people are completely one or the other. This is gender identity not sexual orientation that I am talking about. So please get in touch with your soul (feelings) and be yourself! You will be happy you did.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth