Oneness Ministry

We are One

Apr 18

Transgender Journey about Acceptance

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The transgender journey is really about acceptance, both your acceptance of yourself and others acceptance of you.  The second one is a gauge to let you know how you are doing on the first one.  Being self-loving is not the same thing as being self-serving or self-centered.  In fact they are totally different.

How can this be?  Very simply, we are one.  There is only One self… The Self.  By accepting and loving your self you are in fact accepting and loving all selves.  Don’t worry it does not mean you are approving of the self that murders or rapes.  You are just accepting them for who they are with a knowing that they are one possibility. Right and wrong are just human concepts.  We are each an expression of the whole, a slice of a very large pie.  Love it all!!

I ask that you contemplate this reality.  You are you and I am me and we are One!  Being transgender is just one expression of the whole and even this has a multitude of expressions just as being a heterosexual white male does.  Don’t let appearances fool you either.  Just because you may see a woman, they may see a man or you may read them as gay and they identify as pansexual.  You may think of them as a nice person, when they have done horrible things no one knows about thus thinking of themselves as a monster.  Love it all.

What it comes down to is Mind.  You’ve heard the expressions “never mind” or “I don’t mind”.  This is precisely so!  We exist in mind.  The material world we experience is a projection of this mind. (read Butterflies are Free to Fly by Stephen Davis and see the Holographic Universe video series for more on this)  So the acceptance is about accepting what the mind has created and making it all OK.  Some would call this forgiveness, so forgive it all.  None of it is “real”, so don’t worry there are no Ultimate consequences only temporary consequences to our actions.  Karma is real in the world of matter, so yes your actions do matter. (Pun intended)

If this blog confuses you then no worries, it confused me at first too.  Be curious and inquisitive.  The answer to your question is there… under that spot you prefer not to look.  Don’t be afraid, it is OK to peek in there.  You may be surprised at the wonder you find.  I am.

Love n Light,

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity

 

Gender Related Spirituality

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Apr 4

Acceptance is Key

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The Transgender Journey is much like any journey.  Preparation helps all go smoothly while being ready to handle the unexpected becomes a valued skill.  Learning to accept what you have and working with it is both the beginning and the end of the journey.  The “what you have” is dynamic as is the journey.  So let’s begin.

First of all find out who you are.  This is not as simple as it may seem.  The person you see in the mirror is not necessarily who you are.  The body is simply a vehicle rather than who you are.  Just like your car is not who you are, neither is your body.  Getting to the point where you are happy (accept) with the image in the mirror and with yourself is sometimes a long road.  There is no right way to get there, so leave the GPS at home and use your intuition instead.

Introspection comes easily for some of us and much harder for others, so if you are one of those who does not like to look within, then this will be even more important to you, although you may need to get help.

The journey goes something like this, look in the mirror, what do you see?  Ok, this is your vehicle.  It was given you for a reason and most likely that reason is that it will take you where you need to go, not necessarily where you want to go.  Accept this gift!  Right here and now, STOP thinking you know where you are going.  Stop thinking you know who you are.  Let go of any preconceptions you may have acquired.  Each day is a new day and one with the potential to discover your true self.

Now that you have discovered your vehicle go take it for a ride.  Test the cornering ability, the acceleration, and the stopping distance.  See how good you are at changing situations, demands on your services or skills.  On the road keep a notebook with you and record your best features, skills, and attributes.  Get to know what you are good at and what you need work on.  Accept where you are as perfect in this moment, all is well.

You have a long list now and are ready to pursue this even further.  Stay focused on the desirable features, skills, and attributes, the ones you put on your list and have already accepted.  Staying motivated at this level is about focusing on your goodness and forgiving all else.  If you noticed any undesirable attributes on the list you can acknowledge them, thank them for being a part of you, and then let them go.  To symbolize this write them down on a piece of paper.  In a safe location, burn the paper while focusing on gratitude – be grateful for the learning they afforded you.  Everything in your life serves a purpose so be grateful while at the same time do not get attached to them.  For instance, fat is often a shield we use to protect us from perceived danger or undesirable situations.  Notice I did not say “real” danger.  Once you become comfortable with the situations in your life and can accept your gifts of physical beauty and vigor then life supports this reality.  It all starts with your acceptance and willingness to see the beauty no matter your perceptions.

What is next for you?  Be optimistic and joyful, you have just let go of all your troubles.  The process continues and goes deeper each time.  Accept and repeat.  Life will evolve and get better and better!  Before you know it love and acceptance will exist in you on a deeper level than you even knew existed!  As this occurs your experience in the outer world conforms and reflects this reality.  The only real way to change the world is to change yourself!  The world is just you reflected!

Remember a few things along the way.  Everything happens for a reason, resistance is futile, and everyone is going through a similar journey, so give them what you would wish in return, acceptance.  Joy is in the journey!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Jul 17

Self-Acceptance Key

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The key to self-acceptance is first of all finding out who you are.  This is not as simple as it may seem.  The person you see in the mirror is not necessarily who you are.  The body is more like a vehicle than who you are.  Just like your car is not who you are neither is your body.  Getting to the point where you are a happy with the image in the mirror and with yourself is sometimes a long road.  There is no right way to get there either so leave the GPS at home and instead use your intuition.

Introspection comes easily for some of us and much harder for others, so if you are one of those who does not like to look within, then this will be even more important to you, although you may need to get help. 

The journey goes something like this, look in the mirror what do you see?  Ok, this is your vehicle.  It was given you for a reason and most likely that reason is that it will take you where you need to go, not necessarily where you want to go.  Right here and now, STOP thinking you know where you are going.  Stop thinking you know who you are.  Let go of any preconceptions you may have acquired.  Each day is a new day and one with the potential to discover yourself. 

Now that you have discovered your vehicle go take it for a ride.  Test the cornering ability, the acceleration, and the stopping distance.  See how good you are at changing situations, demands on your services or skills, and how well you can say no.  Once you learn to say no, then you can move on and learn to say Yes.  No is easy, but Yes carries responsibilities.  Of course this will lead to rewards also.  On the road keep a notebook with you and record your best features, skills and attributes.  Get to know what you are good at and what you need work on. 

You have a long list now and are ready to pursue this even further.  Stay focused on the desirable features, skills and attributes.  The ones you really like and have already accepted.  Staying motivated at this level is about focusing on your good attributes and if you noticed any undesirable attributes on the list you can acknowledge them, thank them for being a part of you and then letting them go.  To symbolize this write them down on a piece of paper.  In a safe location, burn the paper while thinking of your desires.  What are you grateful for?  What is next for you?  Be optimistic and joyful, you have just let go of all your troubles. 

The process continues and goes deeper each time.  Life will evolve and get better and better!  Before you know it love and acceptance will exist in you on a deeper level than you even knew existed!

Remember a few things along the way.  Everything happens for a reason (unless you decide it doesn’t), Resistance is futile, and everyone is going to the same place, only in different ways, through different means, and from different perspectives.  Joy is in the journey!

 🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Dec 10

Transition is a Loving Action

by Sequoia Elisabeth

All transitions consist of change and change is about going from one state or condition to another.  So just how does this happen?  All change begins with thought, it is expressed through words and manifested with action.  Stated backwards it is Be, Do, Have.  Be that which you desire, such as peaceful, beautiful, smart, or abundant by doing things that reflect our state of being.  Before you know it you have everything you desire. 

Take being a famous musician for instance.  First we simply be a musician which means we do what it takes to get good at making music.  The more we do it and the better we get at being it the more we have of that life.  It sounds simple and it really is, but no one said it was easy or quick.  Transition can be simple though.  How do you feel?  Once you realize that you have always been a woman but were born with a male body the process of changing our bodies to match our minds is a step by step process, often completed rather quickly if one has all the resources necessary. 

As hard as many have tried we cannot change who we are.  It works best to change the body and not mess with the mind as that just does not work, which has been proven over the years by many researchers such as Dr. John Money.  I have tried for 30 years to be someone I am not and while I was very successful on the surface, I paid the price on the inside (3 peptic ulcers, 1 suicide attempt).  On my website I have a planning guide that was created to show you the path involved in transition from male to female.  The female to male journey is similar at first and changes drastically when it comes to hormones and surgery. 

We all desire to feel good about ourselves and to feel like we fit our bodies.  Most people never question their gender since it feels right to them.  The journey of transgender transition allows this feeling when we do the inner work of self acceptance as or before we transition physically.  I have been working on my self-worth, acceptance and image for the past 30 years.  Every experience we have contributes to how we see ourselves, behave and present ourselves to the world.  The hardest part of transition for me has been leaving the past in the past and simply being myself.  Habits can be hard to break and one of those is living in the past or the future while we ignore the present.  The transition involves breaking down, in MtoF case the male persona so the natural female can emerge.  This past year of living life my way has been a good feeling for me, but not always so good for others. 

When I look in the mirror now I see the person I feel like and that makes Loving me so much easier.  The transgender community is often accused of being self absorbed or narcissistic but that just is not the case even though it may appear that way.  Let me end today with this thought.  The world happens inside out, so we all must love ourselves first.  Ultimately, Loving ourselves is Loving others, because we are all one!  Oneness for those who are new to this concept is God is all there is – everything is God.  By Loving yourself you are Loving God.  By Loving another you are loving God.  By Loving life you are Loving God!  The same goes for your other emotions.  Please be easy on yourself though as much of our thoughts and actions are learned and can be unlearned which is what transition is all about!

Smile, God is watching you 😉  Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Related Transitions

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Dec 9

Post-op Regret – Who do you Love?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The last two posts covered post transition grief and they touched on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).  Now I would like to get more specific, post-op grief or regret is sometimes experienced by Post-op Transsexuals.  I have been researching gender issues and transgenderism for about 10 years now and can remember stories from back in my high school days and the warnings my psychiatrist father gave me saying, if you are not happy before surgery then you will not be happy after surgery.

He makes a good point, but his view is skewed because he sees the failures not the successes.  The successes go on with life and never look back!  It is those who are dealing with possibly other issues besides transgenderism that end up at the psychiatrist’s office.  The difference between the successes and the failures is often the same issue that all transgender individuals deal with daily, self-acceptance.  Whether they have surgery or not, being accepted is an issue that everyone goes through with varying levels of success. 

It seems that the transgender community has a larger challenge with this than the general population which is reflected in the 50% suicide attempt rate in our community.  I have attempted it myself and have to talk myself out of it on a regular basis.  Just briefly as this could be a whole blog, suicide is selfish because it hurts everyone you love.  So it simply is not a choice, as my ex would tell her kids in her pre-school class. Which is what it is really all about anyway, choice!  There are always other options. 

So let’s get back to this issue of post op regret.  There have been some very high profile examples of this such as Renee Richards and in the documentary “Almost Myself” by Tom Murray.  It is strange how people love to focus on the failures in life.  In the cases that I have observed, several reasons for post-op grief are not knowing who you are, not accepting who you are, and trying to be something you are not.   Not all transgender individuals are transsexual.  Where we fall on the gender sliding scale is a personal awareness that comes from getting to know yourself.  Is it your desire to be like others so that you can fit into one of the two “accepted” boxes society has created, male or female? Are you comfortable being in the sex role of your birth body?  Only you know if it feels right or not and unless you are honest with yourself surgery could make things worse.   

Anyway, I think it comes down to one thing and that is self-acceptance.  It matters not what others think of you, really!  This is how it works, our thoughts are like a radiant field of energy and they surround us constantly, usually only about 10 feet or so, but in some situations they can be directed as far as we can imagine – around the globe and beyond.  If you are holding the thought “do they know I am transgender” or whatever, those thoughts are going to be picked up eventually by someone.  How you think about yourself determines in a large part how you are treated!  What thoughts are you projecting?  I still have much work to do, but I pass fairly easily and I am 6’11” 265lbs.  I am a woman, I know it, always have been, but I have not always known it.  I am not saying that I pass all the time, just that I usually do.  Most people make a big deal about my size saying something on the order of “you are the biggest woman I have ever seen”.  The other experience that I am thrilled about is that I rarely have anyone treat me rudely which goes for my entire life.  Our thoughts precede us!  When you are frustrated and angry the world knows this because you are radiating it everywhere you go, which is reflected back to us in events that usually frustrate us further.  Our thoughts are a self fulfilling prophecy.  We create our world with our thoughts, words and actions!  More on this next time.

Blessings, 😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Related Transitions

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