Oneness Ministry

We are One

Counseling and More

The key to counseling and the purpose behind gender centers and the like is quite simple. Human nature dictates a need to feel loved and accepted, to belong, and to be supported in our beliefs. As a counselor it is our job to listen. Simple as that. It is not our job to tell the client any thing in particular, to solve their problems, or do anything in particular. So with this foundation, we simply listen, love, and support the client. Sounds easy, right?

It is far from it. As humans we want to do things, and change things, and help others. And this is where we go astray. To counsel is to assist another in making a decision or in understanding a principle or a choice better. It is walking a path while holding their hand. Not walking the path for them, not force feeding them doctrine, and not telling them what to do.

Applying this to centers like the Gender Identity Center, the main reason I left was simply this. They kept wanting to do things, change things, and provide a path. Surgery to me like all of medicine serves a limited function. It is a band aid – a temporary measure taken to assist the individual in healing. (Think bigger than one lifetime)  It also depends heavily on ones cosmology. I am taking the non-dualistic path. Who knows how long I have been on this path, but it makes the most sense to me. Duality is like a fun house of mirrors, Insane! Guess what? We live in a dualistic world. Yes, so this means we are all insane. Most of us believe this world to be “real”, that we have bodies, and that what we do here actually matters in the big scheme of things. I have learned this is misguided at best. If we do have bodies, then surgery makes sense. I am male, you female and this can be switched with the magic of a blade.

The standards of care for transgender individuals includes counseling, CHT, and for some SRS/GRS. While this may seem appropriate to those living in duality. It is not “reality”. All I ask is for you to explore the possibilities, question reality, and continue doing this for your lifetime. Another human trait or perhaps a trait of those living duality is we like things to be finite/fixed. A bird is a bird and is always a bird. If this is true, then those born male will always be male. However, I am asking is this really so? Am I male or female? Man or Woman? Why do some humans blur the line? These questions and many more have guided my life. They inspire me. They do not define me. I am not a body, I am free! I am just as God created me! Spirit!!! There is no separate self… meaning there is no me. It is quite the conundrum to one who sees with separate eyes.

What it comes down to is I left the GIC because I can not longer play dualistic games, this goes for my former career in medical imaging. When one steps out of the picture they realize its all just a game and not a fun game at that! Magic always comes with a price! So surgery comes at a price. Make darn sure you are willing to pay that price! I am not speaking about money either. Even if it was free, it still has a very high price. This goes for whatever you do, know the price, CHT included. What you do with these changes is up to you. I have posted almost 500 blogs, so if you wish to understand this blog better just look back over these. It has taken me over 50 years to get to this point, so if you are not here yet then stick with it. If you are beyond this point then you are probably not reading this blog, LOL. Either way, Blessings on your Journey of Love!

Sequoia Elisabeth

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Words to the Wise

The life you were given is a gift. Don’t mess it up by thinking you can improve on things. Simply be grateful for what you have and play the cards you are dealt. Of course there is no better teacher than experience. Just be warned, gender transition, unless immediately life threatening, is ill-advised. How does one know when it is necessary? A few pointers are as follows.

Notice the pronouns you use for those who are not human. Do you use “she” for your car or house? Is the bird in the tree a “she”? How about the cute froggy you saw last week? Or are they all “he”? We tend to anthropomorphise all that we see, because ultimately we are projecting self everywhere. You see either yourself or “not me” wherever you look.

Do you dream of yourself as male or female? Can you see yourself in your dreams? Since we are Spirit after all, we have no body in reality so if you don’t see your body in your dreams it means you are closer to the truth. Pay more attention to whom you are attracted to in your dreams. While there is nothing wrong with being homosexual, it is not natural. If you are born female, nothing will change this, not even surgery. All surgery really changes is the game you are playing. While you cannot change who you are, you do have the choice of whether to act on it or not. Much has been written on this and I am taking the Spiritual approach, since we are Spiritual beings after all. The heart loves who it loves, but this does NOT mean you have to act on it. True Love does not discriminate. Attraction is more about polarity than love. Think of yourself has an election or a positron or a neutron and you will be attracted appropriately irregardless of physical form. So this means as long as you are true to your attractions and not form then you are on the right track. You still have a choice whether to act on those attractions or not. Just don’t shame yourself for whatever you choose. Make it all good. The point is furthering your Spirit on its path.

So…The answer is simple, just be yourself, LOL. Who the heck is that!?! If you have the desire to crossdress then do so, don’t be ashamed. It is more normal than you would suppose. No need to “transition” for you are exactly who you are meant to be without any mumbo jumbo about surgery or hormones. My theory is that gender dysphoria occurs in those having past life confusion. See, we are not our bodies or our minds for that matter. We are actors on a stage or characters in a dream. “All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream” Edgar Allen Poe.

Distressing over gender makes the whole dream real and it also makes it impossible to escape. CHT and Surgery are irreversible. So you have dysphoria, join the club! Everyone in this world has it in some form. This is a dream, we are not supposed to be here! We are Not Here!! We are having a delusion!! So you say prove it. LOL I say prove that you are alive! Prove anything beyond a doubt! It is not possible. We simply choose an answer which is acceptable. We play our role!

Having walked this road I can say with confidence that transition is not necessary. Loving yourself for who you are definitely is necessary and this is the crux of the issue. Are you transitioning to fit in or find love outside yourself, by others? I would say 99% of us are looking for love in all the wrong places! Love is found within. Yes, you are a unique person and lovable just the way you are. Whether you wear clothes meant for the opposite gender or not. Whether you are attracted to the opposite gender or not. No matter your circumstance Love is within you and it is yours to share!

Love and Light,

Sequoia Elisabeth

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Transgender Suicide

“Transgender Suicide Report

For the last five years Laura’s Playground has prevented Transgender suicides on line. (Click Here for a link) The estimate of transgender suicides in our community is between 31% to 50% depending on who in the community we talk to. Few outside our Community acknowledge or believe these numbers including Dr Kenneth Zucker and Doctors Blanchard and Baily. Until now it’s all been guesswork. Actual numbers were hard to come by as it is hard enough for families to admit there was a suicide let alone that the victims were transgender. The fact is most medical examiners do not know if a person was gay or transgender due to families too embarrassed to report it. Here we have 5 suicide prevention crisis rooms in chat that are all busy. Our staff both moderators and supervisors are certified in youth suicide prevention. The fact is we have actual numbers not just an estimate. In a 5 year period here this site handled 78,800 suicidal crisis’s online. They were of 3 types. Type 3 being suicide ideation, Type 2 being suicide ideation with a plan and Type 1 being actual suicide attempts.

Type 3 = 46933 Type 2 = 20238 Type 1= 11629

In addition, in a survey here over 50% of Transsexuals had at least one suicide attempt by their 20th birthday some as young as 7. This was also verified by chat transcripts of the crisis’s especially in the early years. Reasons given for suicide in order:

1) Problems coming out to homophobic friends, families and co-workers. Homophobia in general including slurs.

2) Body Image Distress or disgust – puberty

3) Discrimination – Housing – Employment – Church’s

4) Victims of Hate crimes and/or violence

These are actual numbers and reflect what is really going on in the community. Many had more than 1 reason combining 1 and 2 and others. The biggest surprise was the role homophobia played in suicide ideation. If homophobia stopped tomorrow the suicide rate would be significantly reduced which means it is preventable.” (Laura Amato 2012)

The one reason I see lacking here is money.  Many transsexuals lack the money to have any treatment at all and most lack the funds to have SRS/GRS.  We are talking 50k to 150K depending on surgery, electrolysis, therapy, and hormones.  Those who are most severely dysphoric are most likely to end it all due to a lack of funds.  It is an option I keep in the back of my mind and review quite often.  Fortunately, I understand I am not my body and removing the body will not fix anything.  I even hesitate to have surgery at all knowing that ultimately it changes only my appearance.  My soul has no gender, but that is another story.

The good news is there are organizations working hard to remedy this predicament many of us face.  Advocacy groups are working to change the insurance laws and get transgender care including surgery added to most plans. The AMA has come out and stated that surgery is a medically necessary treatment for Gender Dysphoria, see my website for link to statement. As it stands now, a few carry it as a rider and most of these are because the Corporation or Municipality negotiated/demanded them into the options they offer.

Many larger communities have organizations who offer low cost therapy and Denver has several.  The Gender Identity Center, who I volunteer with, offers therapy and hormone letters to those in need on an ability to pay basis. Here is a link to therapists who specialize in gender care.  If you can’t afford them, ask for options in your area.  I am happy to help if I can, also check my website for other resources.

The Jim Collins Foundation offers a grant for surgery to those meeting their qualifications, click here for info.  Some surgeons offer scholarships or grant programs to assist their clients in payment.  Check with your surgeon to find out what they offer.  I do know Dr. Reed in Miami has a program for the first 13 per year who apply.  There are companies like Satori Medical who help clients find low cost surgery in Thailand and other locations.  Many creative solutions have been found over the years by many a resourceful individual.  Necessity is the Mother of Invention after all!

The best way to deal with a perceived lack is to help someone else fulfill their need.  This is one reason I started this website, to give what I need!  If you know of a need in the world, reach out and help, you will be helping yourself.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     FREE eBooks! Click Here


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Is SRS Really Necessary?

This is first in a series of blogs on Sex Change Surgery, so the obvious question “Is SRS/GRS Really Necessary?”  Right from the start I will concede this is a loaded question; however, it is a question I have asked myself many times.  The answer is as individual as the person considering it.  The answer should NOT be undertaken alone and should be a consensus by medical professionals trained in gender issues and the transsexual individual.  The bottom line is no one can tell you what your gender is!  Gender is self determined, however the treatment for Gender Incongruity or Gender Dysphoria as it used to be called is a complex issue that requires guidance.  I am not saying it could not be done alone, only that is much easier and more rewarding when support is provided by caring professionals, friends, and family.

With this being said, it would be foolish to jump to a conclusion when something as drastic as SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery) or as some prefer, GRS (Genital Reassignment Surgery) is considered.  The question of other conditions being present such as mental illness, birth defects, medical conditions etc. needs to be ruled out before surgery is implemented.  Just as a doctor considering a liver transplant will make sure the patient does not have any other severe conditions which may hamper recovery from the surgery; it is only prudent to take an informed approach.  Thus we have the WPATH Standards of Care which recommend a thorough medical work up, Psychotherapy evaluation, CHT (Contra Hormone Therapy), and living at least a year in the chosen gender to avoid the possibility of erroneous Gender Incongruity diagnosis. 

The treatment for Gender Incongruity (GI) or GID (Gender Identity Disorder, as it used to be called) is the surgical adjustment of the genitals to conform to the gender identity of the individual.  Counseling and/or psychotherapy is part of both the diagnosis and the treatment.  Dealing with an issue this large should not be undertaken alone.  At the very least a person with gender questions should see a professional that specializes in the treatment of gender disorders.  There are resources online that will help to identify those professionals, please see this link (take your time and read carefully). 

Getting back to the issue of “is it necessary” I offer another link to a blog that considers this issue nicely.  Having been on this journey for a long time, I will share my personal experience on this question after having talked to many pre and post op transsexuals.  I only know of a few cases of post op transsexuals who were not happy with the surgery.  Three of those were media hyped cases of individuals who were mislead by society.  Personally I have known only one person (a pre-op transgender) that transitioned with hormones for 10 yrs and then decided to de-transition and live in their former role. 

On the other side of the coin I have met dozens of post op transsexuals who tell me it was the best decision they ever made.  They lead happy productive lives just as they did before they transitioned.  The variation in the success of SRS/GRS is as varied as the individuals undergoing the procedure, however it is my firm belief that if this option was not the best choice then there would not be so many surgeons doing the procedure today and it would not be considered medically necessary as it is by the AMA, IRS and some Insurance Companies today (see above links).  It is true that not many Insurance companies will cover SRS/GRS, but their numbers are growing as is the mainstream medical communities support for this treatment of Gender Incongruency. 

Choosing to undergo SRS/GRS is not something anyone should take lightly, however it is a viable option nowadays that offers excellent results of both form and function!  It is time the rest of the medical community step up and see that Gender Incongruity is a serious issue that has viable treatment options with excellent results.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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