Oneness Ministry

We are One

Pain and Suffering

The road is what you make it; however anyone can navigate a straight and level path.  Perhaps the journey is not meant to be easy, but instead to be challenging, eventful, and fulfilling.  Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

This is an important distinction which I wish to make clear.  Suffering is optional!  My definition of suffering is avoidable pain.  The example that best explains it is a pebble which has gotten into your shoe.  It is large enough to cause a blister and perhaps eventually break the skin, whether you stop and remove the pebble or not is up to you.  Leaving it in all day is suffering.  With this said let us now consider muddier examples.

Say you were born with a birth defect like a cleft lip or missing fingers.  The pain is indirect now and so the suffering is harder to avoid.  Or say the defect is more profound such as Down’s syndrome.  In these situations the pain is often more for the family than it is for the individual.  The opportunity to grow extends to all those around this person.  From my perspective it is a larger gift, if used in this way.  The point here is each challenge is an opportunity to share Love (God’s Unconditional Love).

Now let us consider gender dysphoria or transgender/transsexual.  The pain from this condition is often mental/psychological and so it is even further removed and harder to avoid.  It is possible to go your entire life avoiding this gender confrontation, and some do this very thing.  However now a days the treatment of hormones and surgery have become available to remove the physical distress this condition offers up.  Since this is really a mental/psychological condition do the physical changes remove the pain or simply remove the obstacles associated with it?  The latter would be my answer and so any treatment that does not include psychological therapies is useless in my opinion.  Perhaps the psychological therapy is all that is really needed!

After many years of walking this road of gender dysphoria I have concluded the real message here is about Love and acceptance of the self.  If you cannot accept yourself as you were born then accepting the body after surgery is simply another delusion.  With this in mind, to run off and have surgery early on is simply perpetuating the problem instead of healing it!  At some point surgery is a viable option, but not till and unless the individual is able to comfortably express love for the self.  Perhaps this is the gift a therapist can most assist the individual with!  The road to self-love is often a long one, however if gender dysphoria or any dysphoria for that matter is being experienced this is a sign, a call for help if you will.

When I first entered therapy for gender dysphoria I was told only about 5% of people successfully transition from man to woman or vice versa.  This is because many are comfortable somewhere in between, so this is not to say they are unsuccessful, but simply they did not realize where balance would be achieved or that the journey was really about learning to love the self!

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

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Transitions Gift

Using your passions, loves and transitions for remaining aware, alert and connected is to me their very purpose.  What are you experiencing as a major event, process, or happenstance in your life at this moment in time?  Let’s make some lemonade! (If it already is sweet we can add some raspberries)

School can be a very traumatic time in your life so I will use this as an example for how to use this challenge to better your life.  First of all, attitude is everything, so let go of any preconceived notions of how things are supposed to be.  I mean the movies and television are fun, but not necessarily accurate to actual school life.  The situations will also be slightly different depending on what level of education you are experiencing and your age.  Take the attitude of “everything is as it needs to be, for me to be the person I am to become”.  Stop for a minute.  Did you get that?  Read it again. 

Consider now who that person is.  Who are you?  Who do you want to become?  Do you have any role models?  What do you like about them?  How can you develop those traits in your own life?  

Now that you have an idea of who you are and where you are going, take that first step.  Be as aware as you can be of every little nuance.  Feel the wind on your cheek, the sun on your back and the hardness of the pavement.  Notice how you feel, however do not judge this feeling as good or bad.  Simply take mental notes.  The power of simple observation is not to be underestimated.  Once you can let go of daily drama and simply “be”, the sooner you will attract those things you desire into your life. 

From the perspective of a transwoman, notice those aspects of your life that are in sync with your desires and stay focused on the changes that will take you there.  It is about the journey and not the destination, so enjoy the journey!  It is not something to be endured, or suffered, so simply feel the pain of electrolysis, feel the embarrassment of being outed in the mall in front of all your friends, and feel the awkwardness of wearing a wig for the first time, so that you fully embrace this journey.  The less you resist these changes the easier it will be, because they are bringing you closer to who you really are. (Suffering is resistance to pain, when you simply allow the pain and not make a big deal of it, it suddenly becomes less intense.) In the words of the Borg (Star Trek) “Resistance is futile”.

Take the Zen approach and let go, allow yourself to be swept downstream and if you go over a waterfall, trust that the landing will be smooth.  Things have a way of working out for the better when you stop getting in the way and simply follow the path before you.  Staying aware and alert will not only bring opportunity into your life it will make the experience that much richer.  Savor the opportunity to be, “You”. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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