Sexual expression comes in many different flavors, and is possibly as unique as the number of people on our beautiful blue planet. The old school wants us to conform to the old ‘boy meets girl, girl has baby’ scenario and while that does serve its purpose as a race we are moving beyond that. Relationships are so much more than adding one more baby to the rising population, or even the aspect of replacing the self. The world may appear to be a binary system with only men and women, but I can assure you it is not.
Sexual orientation is an aspect of gender that Dr. Carl Bushong describes as “Brain Sex”. “Our love/sex patterns, and how we relate to others on a social and interpersonal as well as sexual level, often referred to as our “Sexual Orientation”.” (1995) This aspect, like gender identity, is hard wired from birth, which means our brains, being much like a computer, are programmed to be attracted to certain physical attributes, genders and personalities.
To restrict every person on the planet, all 6.8 Billion +, to being either heterosexual or homosexual is unrealistic. Instead it is much more feasible that each person on earth has their own unique sexuality which falls into several categories. The categories as they exist today are, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, and pansexual. There are a few other words being used but overlap these so I will stick with this list. Within each category will be a sliding scale so that each person falls somewhere on the scale and is not necessary stuck exactly in that spot, although they will stay within a category.
Just briefly hetero means opposite sex attraction, homo means same sex attraction, the (a) in asexual means no sexual attraction, the (bi) in bisexual means both sexual attraction, and the (pan) in pansexual means all sexual attraction. I do not like the term bisexual because it implies there are only two sexes, male and female. This is the old world paradigm and no longer works (if it ever worked). Pansexual includes everyone and applies to anyone that is sexual but not strictly attracted to the opposite or same sex. This term is far more appropriate in today’s society.
The whole labeling game gets a little absurd after a while because the terms become contradictory and putting people into boxes is both confining and inaccurate. For instance, a transwoman who is attracted to women is lesbian or are they heterosexual since they were born into a male body? And what about the woman who was attracted to this person not realizing they were transgender? Does that make them a lesbian? So what if it does?
The world is coming out! We are becoming more aware of gender identity and sexual orientation, which is leading to more understanding and eventually to more acceptance. I ask only that you stay away from the labels as much as possible and simply love the person. This is why I like the Pansexual label best because it is defined as “A sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.” (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexuality#English, 2010)
Who you are attracted to should not be grounds for discrimination. (In reality there are no grounds for discrimination) Could you imagine if the world judged you on the grounds of your attraction to hair color? “Oh you like redheads, uggg or ewww”! Actually Blondes often get joked about and while it may be in fun, it is only fun to the person joking. Sexual orientation is just another of many category’s that are used to separate or define humans. Being unique is a gift, and it makes us lovable and desirable. Just think of a rare diamond or rare flower. Uniqueness is a desirable trait in our society, so why not extend that to your relationships. Celebrate differences and LOVE the person – stop separating! We are One – one big family of Human.
🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth
Oneness Ministry 