Oneness Ministry

We are One

Realizations of Truth

Welcome to the new ‘me’, I had a revealing dream last night, so I am reborn! My identity crisis slips away as I become more clear by the day. If you read my blog you know I follow the teachings of Jesus as told in A Course In Miracles (ACIM), so I do not identify with my body. Yet I seem to have one and as per the laws of this realm what you are born with is what you have to work with. I was born male so there ya go, I am male. (SURGERY DOES NOT CHANGE THIS) My desire to express as what this society deems feminine is not something that I can change. These desires do wax and wane… much like the moon. Thus my self identity as a male/woman. (How you identify me says more about who you are then who I am)  Sexual orientation leans towards females, however some males are also attractive so I suppose this makes me Pansexual since I know the binary simply no longer applies. The important thing is I am allowing myself to express Love (agape) to all aspects of the One. (Life is not about intercourse, nor propagation. It is merely one path to God if used properly) I love all of you, me, US.

So how does this apply to our ‘reality’? As long as I live here in Colorado I will continue to maintain the (F) on my identification, but I know that it is as much a facade as a (M) would be. They are labels created by man so he could discriminate. Jesus did not speak of such things that separate us. I will continue to dress as it pleases me, because my comfort is yours. Sometimes more feminine than others, and to quote the Sikh Prayer for Peace:

“God adjudges us according to our deeds, not the clothes that we wear;

That truth is above everything, but higher still is truthful living.

Know that we attain God when we love,

and only that victory endures in consequences of which no one is defeated.”

My goals here in this realm continue to be inspiring others and thus myself. Caring for ‘other self’ as I would my own self. Putting ‘other self’ first which means I am conscious of your needs. Free will is the Highest Law of the Universe (Truthful Living), so my decisions take this into consideration first. If you need my help you must ask! If you ask, my answer is Yes, to the best of my ability. Faith is the key word in my life now. To be is to have Faith.

Love and Light, Sequoia

OnenessMinistry.info & Transness.org

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How Far to Take Your Transition

How far to take your Transition

This is both an easy question to answer and a complicated one.  The short answer is as far as you wish.  The long answer includes the questions, Why am I doing this?  What is my end goal? And just Who am I?

Knowing your dreams and goals are key to success of any kind.  Transition is no different.  This is not about wants or even needs, but desires.  “Do not confuse desire with expectation, or with need. Desire has an entirely different quality to it. You can desire something without needing or requiring it. That little difference makes everything work. That little difference is the whole trick. Desire, do not Require. To desire propels. To require compels. Life will not be compelled, but it can be coaxed…” (Neale Donald Walsch)

The question of why is often a wild goose chase, however the ego seems to thrive on this question so answer it.  Why are you transitioning?   Be thorough in your answer too.  Think of every aspect of your life which motivates your actions.  Why do you feel incongruent?  Is this really it or are you making excuses now?  Life is an experience so feel the experience and make note of all those moments which elate you.  Focus on the good feelings, but do not get the idea this is what it is all about.

What is your end goal in transition and how important is it to succeed?  From my experience the end goal shifted as I transitioned.  I was not willing to do all it took to reach what I thought was my end goal.  The point here is I was influenced by my environment and as I grew in understanding my goals shifted.  This is a personal choice for each of us, so stick to your desires.  Hormones and Surgery are tools to enhance the experience, just remember they come at a high price (not only $$$ either).  There are no right ways to transition, only your way.

Ultimately transition comes down to expressing who you are, …if you can figure that out.  So just Who are YOU?  My experience tells me that I am not a body, but a Spiritual Being. So, on this level of form I am constantly changing.  Each day is a new day!!  Be on the lookout for cycles also.  Life moves in cycles and they tend to repeat.  Make everything Ok, meaning accept who you are in that particular moment and enjoy it.  While things tend to repeat it’s only because you need that lesson again.  This is a beautiful paradox.  You can do the same thing a 100 times and each experience is slightly different and yet the experiences we probably do not wish to repeat happen again and again unless you’re paying attention.  Did you catch that?  You are exactly where, who, and what you’re supposed to be in that moment.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity

 

 

 

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What do we really know about Gender?

What do we really know about gender?  It seems we know far more about physical sex since this is tangible.  Both Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation are constructions of the mind thus making them difficult to pin down.  It seems now they are not even “hardwired into the brain” as once believed.  (All thoughts come from the mind not the brain just in case you were unaware of this).  What makes us so malleable?  The old debate between Nature and Nurture seems to make vacillations from one to the other on a regular basis.  Perhaps it is neither!?!   This just came out and changes the game once again.

“A team of researchers successfully changed the gender in the brains of newborn rats from female to male, according to findings published this week in Nature Neuroscience. “Physically, these animals were females, but in their reproductive behavior, they were males,” Bridget Nugent, the lead author said…” (Reed, Carey 2015)

What does this mean to those who identify as Transgender?  This new finding would indicate that our status is the result of some chemical change presumably in the environment.  It is just as likely to occur after birth as before.  Perhaps it was the miscarriage drug given in the 50’s and 60’s, Diethylstilbestrol (DES) or perhaps it is in the food we eat.  Soy is now found in much of our foods especially since many children are lactose intolerant now and use soy as an alternative.  (I have personally felt the effects of phytoestrogens from foods like soy and flax).  There are many other sources of estrogen in the environment and it would follow that there are estrogen inhibitors also.  This would explain the gender incongruences and dysphoria’s that some experience throughout their lives.

Even sexual orientation is affected by the hormones running through our bodies.  Before starting hormone therapy I was curious about sex with men but had never been driven to seek out sex with them.  I was more stimulated by women.  After taking estrogen for some time my desires shifted to men and at the peak of treatment with a high dose I was passionate about it.  Now that I have no testosterone and take no estrogen (levels normal for a female of my age) I don’t really have any sexual drive.  The conclusion I would draw from my experience is that our hormones are behind our sexual drive and perhaps even our sexual orientation.

The question then is perhaps instead of using Contra-hormone therapy to treat Gender Dysphoria or Incongruency a neuter approach is more appropriate.  I am sure this would depend on the age of the individual and their desired outcome, but having no sex drive seems more desirable than one which drives you crazy (personal opinion).  This is not about sexual reproduction, because we already have far more people in this world than can be easily sustained and we certainly don’t need more egos running around!

Concerning gender identity the jury is still out.  It does seem that it is also malleable and if you want to be a girl or a boy that option exists.  My question would be Why?  Why do you feel wrong in your body?  Do you really even have a body?  Perhaps this is all just an insane delusion after all!  Question Everything!

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity

 

 

 

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Identity Crisis

Here are two definitions of what a girly girl is which came up in a discussion recently.  We discovered that we each had a slightly different understanding of this term even though most of the group identified with being a girly girl or at least wanting to be this.  The question I posed was Why?

“Girly girl is a slang term for a girl or woman who chooses to dress and behave in an especially feminine style, such as wearing pink, using make-up, using perfume, dressing in skirts, dresses and blouses, and talking about relationships and other activities which are associated with the traditional gender role of a girl.” (Wikipedia.com 2014)

“Girly Girl: an extremely feminizing girl. A girly girl’s favorite color is usually pink, but also likes other pretty colors like purple, baby blue, and pastels. A girly girl: Cares a lot about how she looks and dresses; wears very feminine, cute, stylish, and sexy clothes like skirts, dresses, cute tops and stylish low-rise jeans; likes wearing high heels; wears a lot of pink; does her hair up nice; wears a lot of makeup; does her nails a lot; loves jewelry; usually not into sports; reads fashion magazines; makes herself as little like a guy as possible; usually into guys as more than just friends but doesn’t have to be into guys like that because sometimes a girly girl can be a femme or lipstick lesbian. Also a girly girl says “like”, “totally”, “Oh my gosh!”, “Oh my God”, and “whatever!” a lot.” (Urban Dictionary 2014, grammar corrected by author)

Ultimately it comes down to being Authentic.  Is this ‘Girly Girl’ your authentic self?  It is also interesting to note that many transwomen have been in relationships with them or want to be.  The question that nags at me is how does this relate to identity?  Does our partner really have to resonate with our own identity?  Isn’t this what these relationships really represent?  Most people choose a partner who embodies their own ideals!  People who they feel fill a void within themselves.

Perhaps this is what drives the Transgender identity.  Sometime a rock is a rock.  Is a rock ever really a tree?  The topic of gender identity can be a confusing one and I certainly do not claim to have it all figured out.  All I can do is work from my own feelings and understandings.  So I invite you to reflect on this topic, to question reality, and to search for your soul!

This quest has been a lifetime journey for me and I welcome the perspective of others who also consciously ask “who am I”?    If you identify as a ‘Girly Girl’ what does this mean to you and why do you identify this way?  However you identify… why have any identity at all?  Is it possible to not have an identity?  Maybe you could un-identify yourself with anything!  The question then moves to how does one relate to the world?

A Course In Miracles (ACIM) states all identity separates and this is insane!  The idea of being separate from anything else is exactly what the Course is undoing.  Nothing is separate from Source (God).  God is all there is, so since there is nothing else to be separate from this idea is false.  Perhaps then the only identity we need is “I am”.  The name of God is “I am that I am”.  When embraced with a comma we experience true reality… “I am that, I am”.

Sequoia Elisabeth J

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Polarity Speaking

Relationships can be complex with all the drama, expectations, and emotional turmoil involved, however they don’t need to be.  Simplicity is a welcome approach in all your best relationships. Sometimes we need the drama in order to work out karma and to get to know ourselves better, so these relationships usually happen early on in life.  The quicker you learn your lessons the less you need the complex relationships.

Each person has many facets to their being and we are here today to discuss the sexual aspect.  “The second chakra is the sacral chakra associated with sensual movement and with sexuality. The information contained in the second chakra relates to relationship, emotions, intimacy, sexuality, creativity, work and money.” (Candess, 2014)

One part of sexuality is attraction; some call this sexual orientation, although we are going to be a little more specific.  Polarity is “the state of having two opposite or contradictory tendencies, opinions, or aspects. The polarity between male and female” (Google, 2014) What we are speaking about today is the energy between us which we either find attractive or repulsive just like in a magnet.

Each person generates their own magnetic field which fluctuates over time and some can see this as their aura.  This can get a bit complicated so no worries if you don’t get it all first time through.  I am also not going to get terribly deep with this, so if you need to go deeper I suggest doing your research, meditating on Polarity, and experimenting with these principles.

Have you ever been with someone who you were intensely attracted to, who just ‘turned you on’ by being around them?  This is what I am talking about and I call this polarity.  If not, then perhaps you have negative polarity or your system just needs to be charged.  If you remember from high school, magnets are either (+) or (-) charged and attract their opposites.  On the human scale feminine is (-) and masculine (+).  Notice I did not say male or female here because sometimes males are (-) and females (+), we call this transgender.  Transgender also is often neutral or neuter in sexual terms.

So you can see the bit about sexual orientation is off base here, because this is set at birth.  You are attracted to opposite, same sex or somewhere in between and this is hard wired and cannot be changed.  What can be changed is your polarity!  Those who are good at this are bisexual or pansexual as I prefer to call them.  Bisexual as a word is deceptive because it implies only two sexes and as we all know by now that sex and gender are spectrums or scales, not either/or.

Polarity is really simple for heterosexuals because they are strongly charged and usually specifically attracted to certain people and as the scale shifts it gets more complicated in the middle and less complicated again on the other end of the spectrum at homosexual.  Remember that Gender, Sexual Orientation, and Polarity are separate aspects of second charka energy.  Where this becomes really important to understand is for the transgender person or Gender Queer who can find this very confusing.  It has taken me years to understand it!

What makes this information valuable is if you are neutral, potential does not exist for you.  Think in terms of electricity and magnets.  If your polarity is neutral you neither attract nor repel, so in relationships this negates any possibility for sexual attraction.  On the orientation scale this would be asexual.  So what I am saying is without potential, no work gets done.  This aspect of your life remains idle.  Sexual energy transfer is how we charge the system (by having sex).  Being charged up gives us energy and purpose driving our actions.  The masculine shares physical energy in this transfer and the feminine shares mental and emotional energy so if you have one in excess or deficiency this will drive your attraction toward those who can balance your energy.  A person can be strongly charged and still in balance which is the goal here I suppose.  Meaning you have an abundance of all three energies.

Test these concepts as I present them here and see for yourself how they are true for you.  I share from my own experience and understanding and certainly do not claim to know all.  I do find this fascinating though and encourage others to get to know themselves better also.

The question for me arises; did I transition to balance my energy?  Being male born and attracted to neither sex, I first was attracted to females (with some mental coercion from my psyche as to what is proper) and then later to males (so again the psyche pushed me to be of opposite sex).  As it ends up I identify as Pansexual, but then identity is just your perception of reality (if there really is one)!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity   For more on this topic read Sex and Sexuality

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From One Closet To Another

Is it helpful to go from one closet to another?  MTF or FTM?  Isn’t the point of coming out to stay out?  To define yourself as an individual and be proud of whom you are! This is an eternal question each person on the gender journey must resolve.  Perhaps the answer is not clear cut.  Perhaps this is the nature of being in question to begin with!

Gender when graphed looks like two mountains, one peak is male the other female.

gen_distrib Draw a vertical line through each peak and the area in between is the realm of transgender.  We fall in the middle and thus don’t really belong in either closet.  Also notice how quickly the lines fall off at the edges.  There are not many in the extremes of maleness or femaleness.  Easily sixty percent fall in the middle zone leaving the those who would consider themselves the majority surprisingly in error.

Of course there are other interpretations of this graph and it is not my place to define it for you, but only for myself.  So take this as an opinion and not fact.  There are no real facts, only perspectives and points of view.  So who are you?  How does that closet serve you?

closet hiding inPerhaps those who thought they were in a closet are in fact outside the closet and in reality it is the “mainstream” individual who lives in the closet, a strict definition of hetero/male or hetero/female which defines the closet.  The closet provides structure and perceived safety, but is in reality a trap of normalcy.

So, I ask you again… who are you?  How does that serve you?

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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How Necessary Is SRS?

When is surgery for Gender Dysphoria appropriate and necessary?  Should a doctor do the sex change just because an individual says they want one?  Gender Identity is a person’s own concept of who they are – it cannot be proven by science, so does a person’s word stand as gospel?  These are questions care providers specializing in gender must deal with on a daily basis.  The rule many are adopting lately is the informed consent rule, while others stick with the WPATH Standards Of Care (SOC).

Let’s look at both to see what works best.  The WPATH Standards of Care 7 was just released in 2011.  It is put together by specialists in Gender treatment, including physicians, surgeons, psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists.  One of the first things they point out is gender non-conformity is not the same thing as gender dysphoria and should be treated differently depending on the severity of the individual’s condition.  It is largely the mental health care provider’s responsibility to guide the individual to a discovery of the extent and intensity of discomfort or dysphoria they are experiencing and if this experience is constant or intermittent.  A copy of this publication can be downloaded for free at this link. (http://www.wpath.org/publications_standards.cfm)

“Surgery – particularly genital surgery – is often the last and the most considered step in the treatment process for gender dysphoria. While many transsexual, transgender, and gender nonconforming individuals find comfort with their gender identity, role, and expression without surgery, for many others surgery is essential and medically necessary to alleviate their gender dysphoria (Hage & Karim, 2000).” (SOC 2011) (Italics and Bold added)

Informed consent as I refer to it here is not the traditional form used in all medical procedures for legal reasons, it is simply the verbal understanding between patient and provider of how the individual identifies and then treatment ensues based on the individuals testament.  It is used because as stated before no one can prove a person’s gender identity.  Even the individual may have doubts about it which are to be taken in consideration by the provider.  This is why counseling therapy is so important in my opinion; because if the person has other psychological conditions they may get the idea they are transgender when it is simply a masking by this overlying condition.  It is also good to get several different opinions to confirm the person’s gender dysphoria before prescribing hormones or doing any surgery.  The big difference is the SOC method recommends a letter from a licensed practitioner and the informed consent method does not.  The provider just takes their word for it.

Obviously the question of which works best is still being worked out, so I will leave it to you to decide while sharing my opinion from experience.  The SOC have been in use since 1979 and takes a conservative approach to treatment.  The informed consent method is more cavalier and puts the responsibility squarely in the hands of the individual which may be the appeal for both the practitioner and the patient; however I question if it is really in their best interest.

To wrap this up it is every individual’s responsibility to ask questions, do research and know as much as possible before reaching any conclusions or taking any actions.  Make sure you know which method your provider uses and what is required of the individual in the treatment path.  Trust your gut!  Or to say that another way, listen to your soul.  It knows the path you need take and get a second opinion before making any life changing decisions like living full time, taking hormones, or having surgery.  It is my opinion that surgery is a last resort used in the most severe cases of dysphoria.  I also believe that everyone, yes even cisgender individuals experience gender dysphoria although it is often a brief experience precipitated by an external event perhaps through someone else’s dysphoria.  There are other types of dysphoria also, like the feeling you are from another world or are really a non-human being, but that is another story all together!  Those individuals are referred to as Wanderers if you would like to do further research.  Till next time readers, Blessings on your Journey of Love ♥

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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Redefining Masculine and Feminine Continued

Let us continue the discussion of Masculine and Feminine, how we define them and use them.  As I mentioned before the Universal Laws play a pivotal role as to how we view and use Masculinity and Femininity.  All the laws are applicable and important, however we are concerned here and now with the Law of Polarity without which relationships would have no passion.

“The Law of Polarity (Mutable): The fourth of the seven Universal Laws tells us that “Everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree”. It is also the first of the mutable or transcendable Universal Laws. It means that there are two sides to everything. Things that appear as opposites are in fact only two extremes of the same thing. For instance, heat and cold may appear to be opposites at first glance, but in truth they are simply varying degrees of the same thing. The same applies to love and hate, peace and war, positive and negative, good and evil, yes and no, light and darkness, energy and matter, (man and woman). You can transform your thoughts from hate to love, from fear to courage, (from masculine to feminine) by consciously raising your vibrations. This is what in the ancient Hermetic Teachings is called the Art of Polarization.

Rising Above the Law of Polarity: This Principle of Duality may appear to be very real in your life but it operates only in the physical and mental realms, not in the spiritual realm where All is One. As it says in the Bhagavad-Gita, “God is Above the Opposites”. By always placing the all-powerful, all-knowing Great Spirit of which you are a part behind your every thought, statement and action, and by always focusing on the “good”, even when things appear to be going “bad”, then in time you will rise above the Law of Polarity.” (Tania Kotsos 2013)

Remember that all Love is Self Love, because we are One.  In reality there is no one else, ony Infinite Intelligence, Prime Creator, Divine Source or God (different names for the One).  Individuation is how God experiences Self!

Till such time as you have transcended Polarity, it is useful to understand it better in regards to the relationship between man and woman; male and female.  It is also important to realize the distinction between them which most never think of.  Since I identify as a male woman (transgender) it has been of utmost importance to me.  I think it can also be of great help to you no matter how you identify.

“A man may have a feminine core and a female may have a masculine core, or they could both be more balanced in their masculine and feminine aspects, but as long as one partner is willing to play the masculine polarity while the other plays the feminine polarity, they can enjoy sexual interaction with each other in a satisfying manner.” (Luminessa Enjara, Sep. 14 2011)

The feminine is pure, boundless and infinite energy moving freely without any particular direction. It is directionless but immense, ever changing, beautiful and destructive. The feminine is the force of life and source of inspiration. The feminine moves in all directions, the masculine moves in one direction. The feminine needs the masculine to give it direction, focus and purpose. The masculine needs the energy of the feminine to give it drive and passion. The masculine and the feminine need each other. The masculine directs while the feminine projects. This is the relationship of yin and yang.” (Blog, Evolution of the Male Part I)

“The secret (to use sexual polarity) is that you don’t actually use it, you just live it. Once you start living deep inside your energy it encourages your partner to live deep inside hers (theirs). When both of you are there the electricity just happens. There is no active working on it, no trying to prove yourself, no performance. You just relax into yourself and let the natural male (or female) inside you live. You trust that your presence and certainty will come out, naturally.” (Graham Phoenix 2013)

gen_distrib

Now it is up to you to search deep within and discover your polarity which is some percentage of maleness and femaleness, regardless of your physical sex and gender identity.  Think of it as a spectrum with he curve looking like two mountains with most people being in the neighborhood of a 75/25 split one way or the other.  (See graphic)  I wish you Blessings on your Journey of Love!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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What Does It Mean To Be Transgender

What does it mean to be Transgender?  While this is a personal question it does apply to at least 3% of the population.  The LGBTQ population is estimated to be around 10% so let us take a closer look to see the relevancy of the “T”.

First off the term transgender is fairly new being coined in the Sixties and meaning simply a person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser.  It is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis.  This brings us to a terminological issue.  There are many terms being used these days with new ones popping up frequently.  Just to name a few, Transsexual, Crossdresser, Gender Queer, Gender Variant, Gender Bender, and Misogynist. (see TransTerminology for definitions)  The point is we each have a different view point on identity, so take this blog as my view and adapt it to yours, … or not.

Gender Identity is an innate trait expressed with terms and understandings available to the individual at the time.  So, those who haven’t the education on such things have no way to express in words how they feel.  They can of course dress and present how they want given the social fortitude to do so.  Which is precisely the point most meaningful to all of us, Are you comfortable in how you present to the world?  Do you present your comfort to the world or do you conform to social pressures?

Understand there is a big difference between conformity and comfort.  Authenticity is another level of expression often over looked.  I think the process often runs the gamut from conformity when young and first dealing with society, comfort when alone or in a safe space, and then extending out as the “safe space” extends.  The end goal is comfortable authenticity at all times which is no small task to a person who perceives themself as different.  While this is painfully true with Transgender individuals it is often a “rite of passage” for everyone to some degree, shape or form.  The awkwardness of adolescence is only compounded by a variant gender identity, often without the individuals even realizing it.  This is something peers and family usually bring to issue.

Authenticity is expressing your true self in a comfortable and honest fashion.  It requires a complete acceptance of who you are and total honesty with both yourself and others.  On one level you do not concern yourself with others, while at the same time you pay attention to how you are treated because you know this is a valuable clue to how you feel about yourself.

The meaning of being Transgender undergoes an evolution then from simply being different and separate …to total acceptance of being just one of an infinite array of unique individuals unified as a whole of mankind.  It is important to understand that everyone is unique and offer wonderful gifts of their own, just as you do.  There is no shame in celebrating these gifts with all the world, in fact the shame is in not doing so!  Be easy with yourself and get help along the path.  Reaching this point sometimes takes a lifetime or more.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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What Is Gender, Part II

 

Continuing with our look at What Gender is let us consider it more specifically.  Gender Identity is a person’s innate sense of being masculine or feminine, which cannot be determined until the person is at least 3 years old and often it is 5-6 years of age before anyone is able to know the true gender.  Since gender is an inner knowing of the individual no other person is able to determine the gender.  It is up to the child to express their gender when they learn to speak.  The Native Americans knew this and would not name their child until they were 4-6 years old in order to allow them to express their gender identity and find their place in the tribe.  A baby name or generic name was used up until this time and often the naming involved the entire family including the child and sometimes the tribe.  Once their name was given the person wore it like a badge of honor, because it reflected their very nature, their Great Spirit.

 

Context of usage is very important and I would like to clarify this right here.  What I have described here is Gender Identity, what the parents are told at birth is the physical sex, how the person dresses is the gender expression and how this person acts in society is the gender role they are playing.  So you must see the context of the word usage before you can understand which gender is being referred to.  As I pointed out before the word sex has many uses so be sure to determine the context in which it is being used.

 

A vision of society I would like you to embrace is the Native American idea of allowing the child to choose, and get away from using physical sex to describe a child – most children as I stated above have no gender till they are 3-6 years old.  As a parent, how do you know it is a boy or a girl?  Fortunately the children being born today are more aware than ever before and they are expressing their gender identity at a very early age.  Many parents understand this and respect their child, however others do not, so we each can help by raising the general knowledge of Gender and what that word means.  I would love to see a society that reflects the wisdom of our ancient peoples by honoring gender identity and not assigning gender roles, instead allowing the child to choose the role that fits them.

 

A few words about the differences of gender role and gender expression, while they are similar they are different in that gender expression is about outer appearance and gender role is activity.  So wearing make-up and female clothes is a female gender expression, while a female gender role would be cleaning house and babysitting.  I hesitate to include this here as our roles and expressions are getting to be so varied and free.  The old rules are breaking down, so we are seeing women in active military duty now while 20 years ago this was almost unheard of and men are cleaning house, washing dishes, and babysitting.  The best way to put this is man and women are integrating now as a society and our roles and gender expressions are so much more open.  New gender roles and expressions are emerging with each new soul born.

 

 

 

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

 

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What Is Gender, Part I

What is gender and why do I care?  Most people in society go about their business and never give their gender a second thought; however, I have a light to shine on this subject so we can all have a deeper understanding of who we are and why this is important.  Every day we interact with any number of individuals and with repeat interactions we can say we know a person.  The level of interaction will vary in importance and significance to us.  This aspect of our being called ‘gender’ is actually an important function of how we react to others and how they treat us.

Of course gender is just one aspect of our nature, we have many others including but not limited to, personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, physical attractiveness, body habitus, sexual orientation, intelligence, common sense, and self-actualization.  When we meet someone new a few of the first things we notice are the persons size, gender, attractiveness, and how comfortable they are with themselves.  The package you present is a total summation of your nature and nurture.  So some aspects are a gift from birth and others are learned along the way.  The innate ones such as size, gender, sexual orientation, common sense, and physical attractiveness (for the most part) we must do our best to live with.  This means personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, body habitus, intelligence, and self-actualization are learned.  These are attributes of our nature that we have somewhat of control over.  Gender falls in the attributes that are innate meaning we are born with our gender and we cannot change this.

If we look a bit closer we see that there are different aspects of gender that are important to our understanding, such as gender identity, gender expression, gender role, and physical sex.  One of the challenges we have today is the popular confusion of gender and sex which are often used interchangeably.  If nothing else I would like you to come away from this blog with an understanding of the differences of these two words.  Sex is a word which has many usages and thus the confusion creeps in.  In Dictionary.com thirteen different definitions come up with this simple 3 letter word, so I will not get into every definition here.  When we are born the first thing the parents want to know is, “is the child a boy or a girl” and in this case we are talking about physical sex not gender identity or even gender role.  Our physical sex is determined by the physical body parts we are given at birth, but with today’s new surgical techniques this can be changed if need be.  Is a woman who has had a complete hysterectomy still a woman?  Is this person still female?  What factor is it that makes a person male or female?  What makes a person man or woman?  Where does gender fit in?

More next time as we explore gender identity and what it means to each of us.

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

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Are You Transgender

How does one know they are transgender?  The answer to this question is both easy and complex.  Easy in that only the individual knows they are transgender by how they self-identify and complex in that identities often blur together.

Transgender – A person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser.  This is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis.  Dressing as the opposite sex for a school play, at Halloween, or once or twice as a youngster does not make you transgender.

A person can identify with many others who are important in their life.  Gender is not always important, meaning they may identify with both men and woman and sometimes other beings as well, such as animals, plants, or insects.  We do it all the time, it is called anthropomorphication, projecting human characteristics on to things other than human.  Pets are a favorite subject for this.  Identity is a fluid thing, because we are all connected through Great Spirit.

Getting back to self-identity, gender identity is usually apparent by the age of 3-6.  For this reason historically the Native Americans and recently some modern families are choosing to allow their child to tell them how they identify instead of looking between the legs and then pasting them with an identity of boy or girl.  Certain characteristics such as toys chosen, behavior in certain situations, and how the child interacts with others can be indicators of masculine or feminine characteristics.  However just because a boy likes to play with dolls does not make him transgender either.

Gender is a spectrum not a binary and in fact 80% of the population falls somewhere in the middle of the bell curve.  It is rare to be totally male or completely female in gender.  Just think back about your life and whether you enjoyed doing things which were considered opposite of your gender?

The main gist of the growing numbers of Transgender identified individuals is equality.  Everyone no matter their gender, race, orientation, status, finances, appearance, mentality or any other characteristic deserves to be treated as an equal.  Each person in their own way is an expression of God, Great Spirit, or Infinite Intelligence.  And it is up to the individual to decide how they identify!  Our job is to lovingly accept them.

Doctors, Lawyers, or parents do not have the right to impose their interpretations on any other person.  Now they can and will offer their expertise, but it is still up to the individual to take that information and do with it what they will.  Even a child 3-6 years old can tell their parents how they feel.

The parent can then provide opportunity for the child to explore their feelings, and with love and support the child will fulfill their destiny.  And for those individuals who have suppressed these feelings for decades it is never too late to give yourself permission to be true to you!!  Ultimately, Love is the answer to every question.

I encourage those with gender doubts or questions to explore their feelings by looking deep within the heart.  The only way to know for sure is to try different gender role expressions.  When you arrive at a conclusion it will feel right.  Of course, this is for the moment because life is filled with moments and this feeling may change, although the wiring of the brain is fixed at birth.  Ultimately life is an exercise in discovery and forgiveness.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Law of Gender 7ULs

The 7 Universal Laws have become a yearly blog tradition.  So let us complete the list of seven universal laws with the Law of Gender.  There are two other laws which will get honorable mention in blogs to follow this one.  Understanding the Universe and working with life, instead of against it is our goal here.

Tania Kotsos in The Seven Universal Laws Demystified lists the seventh law as,

The Law of Gender: “Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles”. The last of the seven Universal Laws is evident throughout creation in the so-called opposite sexes found not only in human beings but also in plants, minerals, electrons, and magnetic poles to name but a few. Everything and everyone contains both the masculine and feminine elements. Among the outward expressions of Feminine qualities are love, patience, intuition and gentleness and of Masculine qualities are energy, self-reliance, logic and intellect. Know that within every woman; lay all the latent qualities of a man and within every man those of a woman. When you know this you will know what it means to be complete.”

Many people would consider this law to include the duality of nature, however this law is about gender only and duality is considered in a different law.  This law is about the whole and the aspects of that whole.  To express gender fully one must embrace both masculine and feminine energy.  The fullness of being contains both.

Let us consider this in regards to people.  A man has both energies and expresses masculine energy primarily.  Situations will arise that he will need to express feminine energy, for instance while caring for children.  In an emergency situation where people are injured and swift action is needed to save lives and respond to environmental stresses the man will need both masculine energy and feminine energy.  The injured need the feminine energy of caring and compassion while the swift action and problem solving skills of masculinity will also be necessary.  Without both he is not going to be as effective in his response.  A woman in the same situation has the same energies at her disposal, but will most likely tackle the situation differently.  It is simply a matter of using the same energies differently.

Society needs to get over its identification with men are this way and woman that.  There are no rules, unless you make them or accept the rules others offer you!  Allow these energies to flow naturally through you and know that all is well.

I will point out here that gender identity is how the brain is wired and follows the same Law of Gender.  Transgender individuals are wired such that the traditional male = masculine or female = feminine is reversed to be male = feminine or female = masculine.  There is nothing “wrong” however; it merely is what it is.  Each person is comfortable expressing themself in one way or another.  The physical body need not dictate how the individual expresses themself.  The important thing is each individual feels the freedom to allow the Law of Gender to express through them as it needs to.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Sequoia’s Wisdom Part 2

It is time for us to dive a little deeper and address gender identity and sexual orientation. This is a continuation from yesterday’s blog, so here we go.

“I am a spiritual being having a human experience”.  It behooves you to keep this in mind along the way.  Do spiritual beings have gender?  Per Buddhists teachings, all attachments lead to pain, so since we are in a body and “have” a life – pain is inevitable.  However suffering only occurs when you hold on, resist, or ignore the signs/messages.  Pain is a messenger!   It means something, and it is up to you to figure it out.  If you need help with this many others are available to help.  When you listen to your guidance you find the answers you seek.  Life is like a game of connect the dots.  You move from one dot/spot/experience to the next like a string of moments and it all adds up to your life.  Being attached to gender identity or any identity can be painful!

Gender Identity is your personal sense of who you are, man, woman, or other.  It is in your mind and relatively fixed, however the brain has little to do with this contrary to what many think.  Nor does any physical body part!  The body is simply an effect of previous thoughts.  The DNA is a code for encrypting these thoughts which have been decided long before you are born.  This slide show explains it further, but keep in mind this was made a few years ago and my understanding has advanced since then.  It includes scientific information which is dated.  Click here to view.

I wish I could explain self-identity fully (gender and sexual orientation are aspects) but it has taken me years and many books to figure this much out.  I am still working on it.  My advice to you is to ask questions and above all listen.  Here are three authors who can help, Tom Youngholm, Neale Donald Walsch, and Dr. Michael Newton.

The secret to understanding Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation is to understand the Divine Plan.  It is bigger than you are and so it is unlikely that you will fully understand it in this lifetime.  Suffice it to know that everything is connected – literally.  Man is a part of Woman who is a part of Animal who is a part of Plant, Mineral, and Stars.  The web is multilayered, all reaching, and complex.  The Divine Paradox of life is complex beyond comprehension and yet as simple as One (1).  Thus computer language is a series of (1’s) and (0’s).

Man’s taboos, social norms, and societal behaviors are all “make-believe”.  You can do whatever you choose, however there are consequences.  Not because there is good or bad, but because of Universal Law and even this is not fixed, all you need do is go beyond this Universe.  Gender is a human experience and a man-made condition of this world.  How you experience this is up to you.  I encourage you to explore, but be careful because everything you do affects another.  (Remember this is not good or bad)  Even choosing to “do nothing” has effects.  Can you imagine life without gender?

Sexual Orientation is another aspect of the human experience, nothing more, nothing less.  Because of soul contracts made before you were born you have certain proclivities, although it is not fixed per se.  It is my belief that everyone is basically neutral or if you prefer bi-sexual (given you believe only two sexes exist).  I like the term Pansexual, meaning you are attracted to all sexes per personality coupled with appearance and not sexual body parts.  Personally I have been attracted to many different people at different times of my life depending on who I am with, how I feel, and the situation.  Bottom line, sex is an expression of love or at least it is supposed to be.  It can also simply be a biological function when existing in lower forms.  The animal human is designed to encourage sex on a basic level; however it is possible to move beyond these urges and in fact evolution requires it.  The pleasure derived from sexual encounter may be used on the path to God as the Kama Sutra teaches.  The intention behind the sexual encounter becomes paramount.  Sex for the sake of sex or to reproduce is one thing, but sex for the purpose of obtaining higher states of being is something altogether different and can be attained with either a same sex or opposite sex partner.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Give Up Defining Yourself

“Give up defining yourself ~ to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of Conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”  ~ Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth)

The Transitions Blog has been teaching this point from the very beginning and this is a good time to re-emphasize the relationship we have to identity.

 Steven 40Sequoia CDSequoia 2009Sequoia Sexy RedSequoiaElisabeth 25-Jan-12“We are all on a journey to discover who we are. In the process of thinking and doing, we see who we are not.  Along the way many personas emerge, and with each step you are closer to who you really are.  In the end we discover that there is really only one, and that is GOD.” (Unity in Gender Diversity)

Eckhart Tolle introduces an interesting concept which I had to really think about to comprehend what it means.  What I share here is open to interpretation as always.  What exactly is “the field of Conscious Presence”?  How does one be this?

At times we have all been connected to Source in such a way that we are aware of being aware.  It is a combination of being both a separate ego and a connected soul.  The feeling is one of knowing that you are not your body, or even your identity, but the consciousness that is aware that you are aware.

The reality is that God is all there is, and we are one individuation of this one infinite, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent being.  Since we are made in the image of this being and the expressions are infinite it matters not what this expression is, there is no way for you to not be who you are, “you cannot lose something that you are”.

No matter how you change the exterior it is the inner core which holds the essence of who you are.  Sometimes we need to test this and so this is where the need to dress up, wear costumes, and present in various ways emerges.  We are simply expressing the infinite!  This is not to presume that gender identity is not real, for this is a life path chosen for the express purpose of testing reality.  I can assure you that the inner drive to transition is profound and unavoidable.  This goes for most any and all transitions, as sure as a rock falls when dropped.  The goal is to see this field of Conscious Presence that each person holds and understand that the package is simply that.  Love the person inside!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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Transgender?

How does one know they are transgender?  The answer to this question is both easy and complex.  Easy in that only the individual knows they are transgender by how they self-identify and complex in that identities often blur together.

A person can identify with many others who are important in their life.  Gender is not always important, meaning they may identify with both men and woman and sometimes other beings as well, such as animals, plants, or insects.  We do it all the time, it is called anthropomorphization, projecting human characteristics on to things other than human.  A statue of stone can be made in a human image signifying a personality cold as stone.  Or metal could be used to give the figure a fiery nature.   You are not your body, but a Spiritual Being having a Human experience.

Getting back to self-identity, gender identity is usually apparent by the age of 3-6.  For this reason historically the Native Americans and recently some modern families are choosing to allow their child to tell them how they identify instead of looking between the legs and then pasting them with an identity.  Certain characteristics such as toys chosen, behavior in certain situations, and how the child interacts can be indicators of masculine or feminine characteristics.  However just because a boy likes to play with dolls does not make him transgender.

Gender is a spectrum not a binary and in fact 80% of the population falls somewhere in the middle of the bell curve.  It is rare to be totally male or completely female in gender.  Just think back about your life and did you not enjoy doing things which were considered opposite of your gender?

The point of the Transgender movement that has been growing since the fifties is equality.  Everyone no matter their gender, race, orientation, status, finances, appearance, mentality or any other characteristic deserves to be treated as an equal.  Each person in their own way is an expression of God, Great Spirit, or Infinite Intelligence.  And it is up to the individual to decide how they identify!

Doctors, Lawyers, or parents do not have the right to impose their interpretations on any other person.  Now they can and will offer their expertise, but it is still up to the individual to take that information and do with it what they will.  Even a child 3-6 years old can tell their parents how they feel.

The parent can then provide opportunity for the child to explore their feelings, and with love and support the child will fulfill their destiny.  And for those individuals who have suppressed these feelings for decades it is never too late to give yourself permission to be yourself!!  Ultimately, Love is the answer to every question.

I encourage those with doubts or questions to explore their feelings by looking deep within the heart.  The only way to know for sure is to try different gender role expressions.  When you arrive at a conclusion it will feel right.  Of course, this is for the moment because life is filled with moments and this feeling may change, although the wiring of the brain is fixed at birth.  Life is an exercise in discovery and forgiveness.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Transgender and The Age of Aquarius

This blog is about terminology, identity, and transition.  The entire world is in Transition in many ways, so it is time we revisited Transgender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation so that everyone understands the meaning of certain words and concepts that put life into perspective.  First and foremost it is important to understand that gender and sex are different things and have multiple meanings.

Gender is your self-concept of who you are man, woman, transgender, androgynous or other.  Each individual is born with this, but is not aware of it till the ages of 3-6.  If a discrepancy is perceived then this awareness is often suppressed or denied, however this is now changing, children are coming out and telling parents who are actually respecting their concerns.

Cisgender is a term that specifically means “not-transgender”, and is used to mean genetic girl (GG) or genetic boy (GB), a person with a matching gender identity and physical sex who has never questioned their gender.  Since transgender persons have a label we feel it only fair for others to have one too.

Transgender is a person appearing or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser.  This term is an umbrella term to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis.  For more on terminology I cover it extensively at this link.

Sexual Orientation is also hard wired at birth and does not change, although many people now days are bisexual or pansexual meaning they are open to the individual’s personality and not so concerned with physical sex.  A homosexual is attracted to their same sex and will not consider being with the opposite sex, just as a heterosexual is only interested in the opposite sex.  With Transgender individuals these definitions get blurry, so it is up to the individual to identify.  Make no assumptions because each person is different and may change their mind from time to time, especially if they are young and exploring.  The term sex can also mean physical or biological sex, amongst other things.

Mass consciousness is shifting due to the era we are entering, The Age of Aquarius. The traits of the Aquarian Age person is that of being bisexual (pansexual) and androgynous which explains much of the trans-revolution we are experiencing today!   We are moving from the end of the Piscean era (money, power, and control) to the new era of Aquarian.  I have spoken of this in other blogs and find that this explains much of what I have been experiencing.  (A great article that explains the shift from Pisces to Aquarius is found at this link.)

Does this mean I was not to transition?  Of course not!  This is the purpose of these times and my life is a mirror of the greater whole just as your life is!  Your path is up to you and if you have questions I am happy to assist!  Please visit the website below and explore the Gender Learning Center.  It goes into gender at length as well as sexual orientation and the different aspects of each of these.  The eBook “Sex and Sexuality” is available free on this website and is an extensive look at gender, sex, orientation, sexuality, and more.  The website below lists gender and spiritual information in several formats -video, powerpoint, written, quiz, and eBook, so you can find what works best for your learning method.

The first step in loving someone is not judging them, and seeing beyond the outer appearance.  The second step is getting to know them and the third is following your heart to a deep friendship or more relationship.  It is time we let go of money, power, and control and embrace love, unity, brotherhood, and integrity.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Medically Necessary?

What exactly does this mean?  I posit that it is a very dangerous term being slung around, at, and by the transgender community.  I ask you to consider the ramifications of using this phrase.

In the transgender/transsexual world the treatment for Gender Incongruency or Gender Dysphoria is to transition from one gender role to the other including surgically altering both primary and secondary sexual characteristics.  This includes for MtoF, Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS), Breast Augmentation (Breast implants), and GRS/SRS (Genital Reassignment Surgery/Sexual Reassignment Surgery).  For FtoM, the surgeries include, Breast reduction/reconstruction, Hysterectomy, Metoidioplasty with urethral lengthening, Scrotoplasty with testicular implants, and Vaginectomy.  And this is list does not include all possible surgeries, for instance other cosmetic surgeries could also be included.

The question is… does the above surgery fall into the “Medically Necessary” box?  And I would have to say it depends on which model of medicine you follow.  It also depends on your Spiritual beliefs and understandings.  The body you were given at birth is a gift, plain and simple.  What you do with your gift is up to you; or your parents more realistically, at least to the age of 16 (18 in some locations).

Each person is perfect in the eyes of God!  If birth defects are present it means they are meant to be there for the benefit of the individual and the people involved – family, medical professionals, friends, etc.  It is an opportunity to express who you are, to learn and to grow (expand this self).

Would it be right to surgically change this body to conform to societal “norms”?  Do we really have to stay within the gender binary?  Is this not the point of being transgender in the first place?  Meaning there is no binary and in fact it is a gender spectrum.  How an individual expresses their gender and sexuality is a personal statement of either non-conformity or conformity.  There are many factors involved, however ultimately this is simply a fact of individuality.  There is no right or wrong!

“Medically Necessary” is a phrase used by the insurance and medical community to substantiate surgically altering the body or not.  Is it really medically necessary to surgically alter the body?  To whom is it necessary and for what purpose?  Is being Transgender or Transsexual a life threatening medical disease?  Based on past medical precedent surgery is used to correct the bodies function to maintain life.  It is also used for cosmetic reasons to make the body more attractive.

More on this topic tomorrow!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Man, I Feel Like a Woman

Do you feel like a man or like a woman?  What is a certain gender supposed to feel like?  How do you know?  I realize that most cisgender people have not considered these questions, but for a transgender or transsexual individual it is of constant concern.  Gender incongruency is something ~98% of the population can’t even fathom.  Consider the possibility the concept of gender as taught in the schools is inaccurate?

First understand the difference between sex and gender.  Sex is determined by the parts between the legs and gender is determined by the parts between the ears.  At least this is the modern or current understanding by science. Consider the possibility that each person is here in this world for a purpose and they have chosen the roles they are to live before they are even born.

What if in fact gender is determined by consciousness, the Source Field which surrounds the body and makes up everything in this world?  What if no one has a gender until they acquire one?  Much like sexual orientation it must be discovered by the individual.  I cannot tell my brother that he is gay or straight or if he is man or woman.  These are things he must discover.  Life is a discovery!  And we are explorers.

The prevalent teaching about God, Great Spirit, Universal Mind, Infinite Intelligence (or whatever you choose to call this energy) is that it has no sex or gender.  Eastern philosophies have known this for centuries and slowly the western philosophies are accepting that God is not a man sitting on a throne up in heaven.  Our philosophies are merging, especially here in the USA where we are surrounded by both all the time.  A new understanding is emerging and I call it Oneness.  We are all One.

The idea I present here today is that God is all there is and since God is all, so are we.  This means that no one has a gender or a sex in reality!  Those things only exist in the reality we call life on earth.  We are indeed all androgynous beings of light!  You may have seen this image presented before as alien life, for instance in the movie Cocoon (1985) or in episodes of Star Trek and in multiple instances in the media.  Everything is energy.

I mention the idea of androgyny here because I feel this is the truth of nature.  I believe that hetero and homo sexuality are creations of the human mind or the mind of man.  This goes for the concept of man or woman also.  How do you know what a man or woman feels like?  You do not know any more than anyone else does!  Just because you seem to have been born male or female does not mean you know what a man or woman feels like. It is what you say it is.

The core of our being is pansexual androgyny, meaning we are characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.  And we are neither men nor women, but a combination of both to varying degrees across a spectrum.  In some individuals this can shift back and forth as well.  You will define it as is comfortable for you.

In the end you feel like YOU.  Accept this feeling and get comfortable with it; it is all you will ever have in this lifetime.  No matter what you change on the outside, the inner core remains the same.  The experience will change as this is the point of the material world.  Enjoy the ride, act with authenticity, and live with pride!  This is your role in life and it is mine.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Sex and Sexuality Revisited

Transitions blog offers a reminder today about an eBook available at no cost on this website.  Sex and Sexuality, One Woman’s Journey of Discovery is a part of Unity in Gender Diversity’s growing set of spiritual materials.  It is about using sex, sexuality, gender and the attractive aspects of self to discover Truth.  Hormones, Gender Identity, Sexual Orientation, Jesus Christ, and Relationships are among other aspects explored in an effort to deepen human understanding.  The author’s own personal story is offered as an example of what the transgender journey consists of, because I find that by sharing stories we get a deeper understanding of each other.  This book is designed to inspire a closer look at who you really are.  The significance of all relationships, as well as the meaning of sexuality, and so much more are discovered.   I invite you to take a journey of discovery!

The eBook is directed to those who are ready to move beyond the body and realize Divine nature, although anyone can come away from reading this a more educated, entertained, and enlightened individual.

Features to consider are: It is an eBook, easy to download, short and easy to read in a few hours, wastes no paper (easily printable), chapters are linked, direct links to website, No Cost and it is instantly available for download in PDF.

The benefits you receive by reading it: A transgender story to relate with, offers great pictures and graphics in color, learn about the transgender journey, understand your body better, get to know your inner-self better, become a better person, enjoy sex more, not just sex but the entire relationship, improve all your relationships!

Please share Sex and Sexuality, One Woman’s Journey of Discovery with anyone you think would benefit from this eBook.  It is a great way to educate friends, family or employers to the Transgender Journey.  Use it as a coming out tool.  Ultimately it is about Love – loving yourself by allowing others to love you!!  For more on Love please read the other eBooks offered.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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