How far are we to go with allowing self (ego) identity? Who really decides who you are? In reality, it is other self (others) who decides who you are. We all have our own ideas of who we are and the spectrum of sharing this to the world goes full circle. Some shout it out and other totally deny it. My question is does any of this really matter? Do you care how I identify? Probably not, caring only how you identify. If this be true, I ask what part does other self play in identity?
The spiritual teachings I have read, and I have read a great deal over the past 30 years, say other self is critical in our own identity. The world around us is an unconscious projection of who we know ourselves to be. Please understand, 99% of us do this automatically and with no realization of the value we surround ourselves with. Saying “I am that” as you look around can be valuable and it can also be deceiving. We are so much More!
Now let us relate this to society. If I am born XY/male, then can I really change sex later in life? From my experience, No. There is no changing our biological gifts, with surgery or by any other means. Psychological perceptions on the other hand are totally changeable. We can change our appearance and even our experience of the world. I will caution, as my psychologist did me, that only 5% of those who transition, do so completely from one gender to the other. Think of a bell curve. Most will fall in the middle somewhere. No judgment here, there is no right gender. Though, we can conclude here that sex and gender are vastly different things. Most of us are born one sex or the other, given that some are born intersex, and we are stuck with it till death. Intersex presents vast complications so I am not going down that rabbit hole in this discussion. Gender is self identified to a great extent through our interactions with society. How one presents to the world determines their gender. We all have the freedom to choose our presentation, at least after we become an adult. Puberty is where my gender came into question, to me anyway. I presented as my birth sex for 30yrs as I struggled to work out my identity. My presentation slowly went from masculine to androgynous to feminine. Along with this transition, I changed my name and documentation to represent this new gender.
Recently I have been questioning the validity of these document changes. It is too bad society does not make clear the difference between sex and gender, though I certainly do. If the form asks for my gender I say Female and if it asks for sex I say male. (Actually both my DL and Passport say otherwise and I really wish they did not, yet they must to live in this crazy world) This is why all forms should offer a third option and many are doing this very thing now days. I value honesty very highly and it is my opinion official documents should list both sex and gender, leaving “trans*” options out of the equation. Actually, if it is not medical or census related then the question should be skipped all together. Those individuals who were born XX should be required to list their sex as female and XY as male, with intersex being for those who do not fit the other two classifications. Then we should have the option to list our gender as Man, Woman, or Other. I figured out my identity many years ago, before transition as Male Woman. The term Transgender or the many others folks have come up with just do not apply to me, though they are valid as gender identities. My call here is to make this as simple as possible, stating sex/gender identity. I suppose some people will be Intersex/male or other gender. Let’s be honest, I know myself to be male and as a result so does society no matter how I present. If you truly believe yourself to be the opposite sex from your birth sex and present this to the world you can be said to have transitioned, however I don’t think it is really possible to authentically transition from one sex to the other. Sex change is a myth! Gender Identity though is something we discover as we mature. It can be something we play around with, go back and forth with, though ultimately we will land on one that fits and we stick with. Society will play its part in our gender identity, so pay attention to the reception you get over time. Give your other self their due!
Sequoia Elisabeth
Oneness Ministry 
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