How does one know they are transgender? The answer to this question is both easy and complex. Easy in that only the individual knows they are transgender by how they self-identify and complex in that identities often blur together.
Transgender – A person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. This is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis. Dressing as the opposite sex for a school play, at Halloween, or once or twice as a youngster does not make you transgender.
A person can identify with many others who are important in their life. Gender is not always important, meaning they may identify with both men and woman and sometimes other beings as well, such as animals, plants, or insects. We do it all the time, it is called anthropomorphication, projecting human characteristics on to things other than human. Pets are a favorite subject for this. Identity is a fluid thing, because we are all connected through Great Spirit.
Getting back to self-identity, gender identity is usually apparent by the age of 3-6. For this reason historically the Native Americans and recently some modern families are choosing to allow their child to tell them how they identify instead of looking between the legs and then pasting them with an identity of boy or girl. Certain characteristics such as toys chosen, behavior in certain situations, and how the child interacts with others can be indicators of masculine or feminine characteristics. However just because a boy likes to play with dolls does not make him transgender either.
Gender is a spectrum not a binary and in fact 80% of the population falls somewhere in the middle of the bell curve. It is rare to be totally male or completely female in gender. Just think back about your life and whether you enjoyed doing things which were considered opposite of your gender?
The main gist of the growing numbers of Transgender identified individuals is equality. Everyone no matter their gender, race, orientation, status, finances, appearance, mentality or any other characteristic deserves to be treated as an equal. Each person in their own way is an expression of God, Great Spirit, or Infinite Intelligence. And it is up to the individual to decide how they identify! Our job is to lovingly accept them.
Doctors, Lawyers, or parents do not have the right to impose their interpretations on any other person. Now they can and will offer their expertise, but it is still up to the individual to take that information and do with it what they will. Even a child 3-6 years old can tell their parents how they feel.
The parent can then provide opportunity for the child to explore their feelings, and with love and support the child will fulfill their destiny. And for those individuals who have suppressed these feelings for decades it is never too late to give yourself permission to be true to you!! Ultimately, Love is the answer to every question.
I encourage those with gender doubts or questions to explore their feelings by looking deep within the heart. The only way to know for sure is to try different gender role expressions. When you arrive at a conclusion it will feel right. Of course, this is for the moment because life is filled with moments and this feeling may change, although the wiring of the brain is fixed at birth. Ultimately life is an exercise in discovery and forgiveness.
🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth
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