What is our purpose? I’ve been asking myself why I even keep these websites. What I should do with them if anything. So here is what I came up with. A refined Manifesto.
My purpose and lot in life is to love and accept myself and the dream I have created. There is no more sobering thought than to realize you are the source of your nightmares. All the pain you have ever felt is on you. There is no one else, not really. “All else” or “other” is a projection from mind, your mind, the only mind. Our whole sense of self is based on Ego, this is the very definition of identity. If you think you exist, then this is the Ego. It is not good or bad, it is just the filter used to experience the world around you… to Know thy self!
Sometimes this image gets blurred and we think the “Other” is who we are. On the greater levels this is true, however on this limited Ego level it is not. I am you and you are me, though the Ego exists to further refine what you and me are. Ego is separation. All in this world is separate and represents the Ego (not the personality as Freud presented, but the entire “self”). I have come to believe that gender itself is an ego construct and Transgender is a confusion of this primary construct. We are born male, female or intersex, this cannot be changed in this lifetime. Sex is simply our Identity construct, it may define our life this time around, but it is by no means fixed in reality. Gender by the way is not Sex, these aspects are separate and yet intertwined. In the Ego world, there are shades of gray or color. A rainbow represents separation of light… thus the Ego. A perfect symbol for anyone who identifies with being human, special, or different. Yes, we appear to be unique, but this is only a perception – a desire by the Ego to be special or somehow better than other. The way to work though this is presented in A Course in Miracles. I will not go into it further and leave it up to you to explore.
I will not tell anyone else what to think or what is right or wrong, because that depends on your perspective and point of view. Being Transgender is real if you think it is. It cannot be denied, as I tried for 30 yrs and it kept coming back. When you get a obsessive idea the only way to get over it is to move through it. It could be called a problem, but in reality it is just an idea. Consuming, yes. So accept it and move through it. Face it head on. Fear = false evidence appearing real. Even death is false. I have died many times or at least my Ego has. Love is real and can not be destroyed. Whatever is “killed or dies” is unreal. Know this and life becomes a Joy. By “Know” I mean no doubt whatsoever.
So, if you have the impulse to crossdress then go for it. If you wish to sleep with the same sex or deny sex all together, go for it. However, if you have the impulse to harm anyone including yourself then take a step back. Tell someone about these feelings. Talk it out and take no action. The question is what does “harm” mean? I have been over that many times. Is it harmful to Transition? Is it harmful to die? Does shattering the concept others have of you qualify as harmful? There is the simple principle of “what you do to another, you do to yourself”. So perhaps transition is just passing your own confusion off to others close to you (other self). As you see the “other” you will see yourself. There is also the principle that we learn through experience, so unless we transition no lesson is learned. Pain is inevitable, suffering is up to you. I am not responsible for your suffering, even if I am responsible for your pain. We each have free will. There are no easy answers to these questions, there are only your answers. I have answered them for myself. I invite you to explore these questions and do your best. Live life and don’t apologize! Only you can ultimately judge you, so be kind.
Sequoia Elisabeth
It’s Pride weekend once again here in Denver CO. As per my annual tradition I ponder the meaning of the word Pride and what it means to me. How does this serve me? (my favorite and most useful question) As an existentialist the answer would be there is no “Me” only “Us”. We are One after all!
I see my life easily centered around a greenhouse, growing exotic plants, and keeping fish, etc. This is my dream home! A pond, tropical plants, growing space for exotics and all the life which goes with it, fish, reptiles, amphibians, and beneficial insects. Sounds primal doesn’t it? Perhaps it is and perhaps this represents my connection to Mother Earth. She expresses through me. In the end perhaps I am just too connected to nature to be a human being. From the mystical POV, I would be an “ent”. (look it up if you don’t know what this is). I chose the name “Sequoia” for this very reason. This tree is the largest living thing on earth and is a plant. So inspiring and God knows… I need my inspiration.
Does transition ever end? For those who are transgender this question will likely be answered differently over time. I used to think that it would all be different once I transitioned to living as the woman I am. Wrong. Well I suppose things are very different, but the things which really matter have not changed. I am still basically the same person, inside. My personality has changed a bit, however my thoughts and beliefs have not. If any change has occurred there it has nothing to do with being transgender. Thoughts and beliefs change because we choose them too. So let me get into the power of chemical wonder, hormones. You are what you eat and if you are taking hormones or even if you are getting them through the environment, food, drink, etc. things will change drastically. The question of which comes first is hard to prove if not impossible. Are we transgender because of environmental chemical influence or because of genetic, inborn causes? I feel it is a combination of both. And most likely it is a different combination of both for each of us. During transition our outer world and appearance changes drastically, but as for the inner world, not so much. So let’s make sure we are clear here, I am speaking of gender. My gender has not changed and is clearer now, so the success here is that I now know myself better than I ever have! Perhaps this is the point of the whole experience.
Oneness Ministry 