crossdresser | Oneness Ministry

What I have learned about Transgender in this lifetime

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transgender is defined as: A person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. This is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis. This is the definition I use on my website and has variations depending on who is being asked. Bottom line each individual has their own identity and defines this word slightly differently. The bottom line is fuzzy like so much of life here on earth. Identity itself is hazy at best. We try to make it clear and well defined, but that is like holding a handful of sand.

Frankly, I have almost 200 blogs just on transgender and so this blog will be simple. It all comes down to other self. The world is our mirror and how we treat others determines how we are treated. It reflects what you think of yourself. Life is not happening to you, but thru you! How you see other self is how you see your own self. Ultimately, if you have looked around my websites you know I teach oneness. We are One! If you get what this means then there is no reason to read further. If not, I invite you to read my blogs and visit https://onenessministry.info/.

Transgender or any gender for that matter is a perception based on prejudice. Nothing is finite since life or our perception of it changes all the time. At some point you will be or have been all of it, just not all at the same time. Humans cannot function that way, so time serves to allow experience to span all possibility, one life at a time. What comes around goes around! Our entire Universe is designed to separate life into components, aspects, and pieces for further inspection. Its like looking at a cell under the microscope and identifying its parts. In that way we know it better. If you really want to know someone, walk a mile in their shoes is the phrase I used to hear all the time. The reality is we do exactly that! Enjoy the trip.

Sequoia Elisabeth

https://onenessministry.info/

Gender Related Spirituality

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Whys and What fors of Transgender

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Let us break down this thing we call Transgender. What is it? “A person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. This is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis.” How long has this been going on? For various reasons since the dawning of mankind, in very small numbers though. So the big question is why are the numbers growing right now.

According to the Pleiadian’s (our future selves) wisdom, it is because of out of control chemical use and abuse since the 1950’s. Our scientists have repeatedly found chemicals to effect the sexual development of not only human fetuses but those of fish and many other creatures. Not just DES, which is a synthetic hormone given to women in the late 50’s into the 70’s to prevent miscarriage, has been identified as a possible cause of transgenderism. The list is not small, but the point here is that this phenomenon is bigger than any one individual. Our actions have repercussions. So let us stop here. I see where this is going. Blame.

I am not here to blame an industry for my issues, nor am I here to blame any one person. This process of needing to know why is an ego function. It is a destructive process that does not end well. So, while I do understand that irresponsible chemical usage is most likely behind the surge in Transgender, I wish to focus on the real opportunity here. Love.

We have an opportunity here to love each other no matter what the circumstances. “Why” is a pointless question that just leads to blame, shame, and pain. FORGET “WHY”. To any question. The question we have now is how can I love this person who is transgender,… or ____ fill in the blank.

Part II

The wisdom I referred to earlier of the Pleiadian’s also says NOT to alter your body or identity. So let me address this because it hit home hard. I have heard this wisdom before, in fact every time I considered it in the back of my mind this wisdom lingered. However the power of reasoning won out in the end. I say won, because I did change my identity and my body, though very slightly and significantly. What is done is done, so this is really for those who are still considering making changes to their body or identity. Don’t. Better yet, understand what is really going on and get help!

What is really going on? It is a combination of factors, chemistry, biology, and mind. Our minds are connecting with life memories past or future and making them current. This issue is about dealing with what we have to work with Now, in this incarnation. Do not confuse thoughts or feelings of others or from different lifetimes. Perhaps this blending (thought confusion) is a culmination of many lifetimes. This would certainly make sense. The chemistry is about the chemical toxicity of our environment these days and the biology concerns DNA and hormone balance. I have spoken of these many times in the past as well as in my ebook, so I will not go into those here. The take away here is to accept the gifts you have this time around and use them for the good of both you and others. If you need clarity, then take a step back and do nothing. Meditate on how you fit into the big scheme of things. Big life changes such as transition are a cry for Love. Often we don’t feel loved because we ourselves have not been loving to others. I mean love here not kindness or simple caring or ego infatuation. Love is ethereal at times, but in reality it is the essence of who we are and what I am saying here is we hide this aspect of ourselves away fearing it will be lost or damaged. I can assure you this is not possible. If it is truly yours no one can take it from you. The only thing you have more of when you give it away is love. The answer here is not to transition physically, but internally and open the door to your heart. You are lovable with or without a penis! Trust life to have given you the gifts you need this time around.

Now that Transgender is a big media thing the beast is loose. Do not fear it. Know that this too shall pass. We are here to be loved as part of life’s diverse universe of infinite possibilities. It is all good!

Part III

So where do we go from here? I for one ask forgiveness (Non-judgment). Then I am going to share the teachings as I understand them. I have been doing this for a long time, and now my understanding is even deeper. I intend to emphasize the Do No Harm aspect of Medical care. This means do not alter the physical body for several reasons. It is false hope first of all, changing forms does not alter who you are. The idea that you are expressing some hidden inner self is delusion! You have been expressing this constantly since you were born and continue to do so. Choose wisely what you show the outside world. They are not concerned with who you are, only about who they are. If what you show them does not jive with who they think they are, you will feel push back or resistance. Nothing wrong with pushing your boundaries, but know that it comes at a cost, the harder you push, the higher the cost. For example, I lost everything when I transitioned. I thought this was spiritual sacrifice and a good thing. This is what I told myself. Good is relative in the world and ultimately very difficult to nail down. What is good for one is bad for another. So do not rely on “Good”. Trust that you do not know what is best for you and neither does anyone else!! Only Holy Spirit knows. Search deep to find your inner intuitive guidance. It is there. I had it, but ignored it and it cost me. Now I could say many aspects of my life at present are pleasant and enjoyable, but that does not make them “good”. How has my decision to transition affected others and my eventual life’s path? It is almost impossible to say. This is where faith comes in. I can assure you that I am being hypocritical here, we all do this from time to time. Being aware of it seems to help. I know this means forgiveness. I am asking you to not do what I did. Why would I do this? Because our transition empowers the dream! We are saying our bodies are real and must be changed to be “right”. I see how insane this is now, but since the issue kept coming up over and over I thought I must do something. I was wrong. I was doing it right in the first place!!! As is usually the case. Crossdress if you must, express yourself if you feel the need, masturbate, but don’t make permanent changes. The body is not real I hear you say and you are right, however this is about energy, thought energy and its expression. What I am saying is to let the energy flow where it may, but not to make it real. Be in the world, but not of it. Transition is being “Of It”!! I wrestled with this conundrum for years and still do. The eclipse has brought me clarity. Almost all the Spiritual teachings say the same. Honor the temple and do not defile it. To me this means no tattoos, no cosmetic surgery, and no unnecessary medical surgery. Oh, but science is saying GRS, etc. is medically necessary. I say no it is not. This is an ego trick or our reasoning mind justifying its desires. How far do we go with this? The line is fuzzy, so we must use our own judgment. Not much else I can say here, except to get in touch with your Spirit and follow the guidance it provides. I can wish I never took CHT or had an orchiectomy, but honestly the orchi has been a good thing for me. I was struggling with sexual hormones of any type and no longer have that battle. The hormones tend to be an amplifier so as a male born individual estrogen has heightened my senses and the opposite is true going the other way. I cannot say I feel any different though after a decade, at first yes, but it fades. Identity continues to be a challenge for me. Spiritual teaching dictates that one must be polarized to move forward. This means being either male or female, so since I was born with a masculine body I must embrace this while still respecting my feminine nature. Perhaps this is what being Transgender really is all about without all the physical manipulation. Embrace your gifts! How you do this is up to you. I trust we are doing the best we can!

Love and Light,

Sequoia Elisabeth

https://transness.org/ & https://onenessministry.info/

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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What Does It Mean To Be Transgender

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What does it mean to be Transgender? While this is a personal question it does apply to at least 3% of the population. The LGBTQ population is estimated to be around 10% so let us take a closer look to see the relevancy of the “T”.

First off the term transgender is fairly new being coined in the Sixties and meaning simply a person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. It is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis. This brings us to a terminological issue. There are many terms being used these days with new ones popping up frequently. Just to name a few, Transsexual, Crossdresser, Gender Queer, Gender Variant, Gender Bender, and Misogynist. (see TransTerminology for definitions) The point is we each have a different view point on identity, so take this blog as my view and adapt it to yours, … or not.

Gender Identity is an innate trait expressed with terms and understandings available to the individual at the time. So, those who haven’t the education on such things have no way to express in words how they feel. They can of course dress and present how they want given the social fortitude to do so. Which is precisely the point most meaningful to all of us, Are you comfortable in how you present to the world? Do you present your comfort to the world or do you conform to social pressures?

Understand there is a big difference between conformity and comfort. Authenticity is another level of expression often over looked. I think the process often runs the gamut from conformity when young and first dealing with society, comfort when alone or in a safe space, and then extending out as the “safe space” extends. The end goal is comfortable authenticity at all times which is no small task to a person who perceives themself as different. While this is painfully true with Transgender individuals it is often a “rite of passage” for everyone to some degree, shape or form. The awkwardness of adolescence is only compounded by a variant gender identity, often without the individuals even realizing it. This is something peers and family usually bring to issue.

Authenticity is expressing your true self in a comfortable and honest fashion. It requires a complete acceptance of who you are and total honesty with both yourself and others. On one level you do not concern yourself with others, while at the same time you pay attention to how you are treated because you know this is a valuable clue to how you feel about yourself.

The meaning of being Transgender undergoes an evolution then from simply being different and separate …to total acceptance of being just one of an infinite array of unique individuals unified as a whole of mankind. It is important to understand that everyone is unique and offer wonderful gifts of their own, just as you do. There is no shame in celebrating these gifts with all the world, in fact the shame is in not doing so! Be easy with yourself and get help along the path. Reaching this point sometimes takes a lifetime or more.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity Read more about Sex and Sexuality! Click Here

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Transgender and The Age of Aquarius

by Sequoia Elisabeth

This blog is about terminology, identity, and transition. The entire world is in Transition in many ways, so it is time we revisited Transgender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation so that everyone understands the meaning of certain words and concepts that put life into perspective. First and foremost it is important to understand that gender and sex are different things and have multiple meanings.

Gender is your self-concept of who you are man, woman, transgender, androgynous or other. Each individual is born with this, but is not aware of it till the ages of 3-6. If a discrepancy is perceived then this awareness is often suppressed or denied, however this is now changing, children are coming out and telling parents who are actually respecting their concerns.

Cisgender is a term that specifically means “not-transgender”, and is used to mean genetic girl (GG) or genetic boy (GB), a person with a matching gender identity and physical sex who has never questioned their gender. Since transgender persons have a label we feel it only fair for others to have one too.

Transgender is a person appearing or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. This term is an umbrella term to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis. For more on terminology I cover it extensively at this link.

Sexual Orientation is also hard wired at birth and does not change, although many people now days are bisexual or pansexual meaning they are open to the individual’s personality and not so concerned with physical sex. A homosexual is attracted to their same sex and will not consider being with the opposite sex, just as a heterosexual is only interested in the opposite sex. With Transgender individuals these definitions get blurry, so it is up to the individual to identify. Make no assumptions because each person is different and may change their mind from time to time, especially if they are young and exploring. The term sex can also mean physical or biological sex, amongst other things.

Mass consciousness is shifting due to the era we are entering, The Age of Aquarius. The traits of the Aquarian Age person is that of being bisexual (pansexual) and androgynous which explains much of the trans-revolution we are experiencing today! We are moving from the end of the Piscean era (money, power, and control) to the new era of Aquarian. I have spoken of this in other blogs and find that this explains much of what I have been experiencing. (A great article that explains the shift from Pisces to Aquarius is found at this link.)

Does this mean I was not to transition? Of course not! This is the purpose of these times and my life is a mirror of the greater whole just as your life is! Your path is up to you and if you have questions I am happy to assist! Please visit the website below and explore the Gender Learning Center. It goes into gender at length as well as sexual orientation and the different aspects of each of these. The eBook “Sex and Sexuality” is available free on this website and is an extensive look at gender, sex, orientation, sexuality, and more. The website below lists gender and spiritual information in several formats -video, powerpoint, written, quiz, and eBook, so you can find what works best for your learning method.

The first step in loving someone is not judging them, and seeing beyond the outer appearance. The second step is getting to know them and the third is following your heart to a deep friendship or more relationship. It is time we let go of money, power, and control and embrace love, unity, brotherhood, and integrity.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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Restroom Etiquette

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Restroom etiquette touches each and every one of us, however for those in the Transgender community it is an especially touchy subject. This should be common sense and quite obvious although from the news articles and first person reports which bathroom you use is very important.

In an ideal world you simply use whichever bathroom you want, when you want, and dressed whatever way you are at the time (the way it used to be done). Depending on where you are this still actually does work. In other places not so much. The first separate toilets for men and women appeared at a ball in Paris, 1739. So the concept of gender privacy is fairly new.

We can blame our puritanical Anglo-Saxon roots for the need for privacy as it would seem that most beliefs surrounding the embarrassment and shame have been instilled by Christianity. The separation of men and women restrooms is simply an extension of these practices. In many societies around the world, men and women are not allowed to mingle, again based on religious beliefs. Since the modern toilet did not become popular till around the mid 1800’s this is when men’s and woman’s rooms became the norm and this extended well into the 1900’s depending on the location and the level of development of the community.

Everyone must use a restroom in the developed “civilized” world, so the question then becomes do you use the men’s or women’s? Unisex toilets do exist, and are growing in popularity not only for transgender use but for families needing to attend to babies and small children. Unisex toilets are meant for anyone, so use at your discretion.

The unspoken rule for transgender restroom use is simply to use the restroom appropriate to the gender in which you present. Meaning if you are dressed as a woman then you use the women’s room. Since most restrooms these days have separate stalls, this is not a problem. The bigger issue arises in dressing rooms or locker rooms since there is often no privacy there. Most transgender individuals simply avoid these situations in fear of being ridiculed, run out, or more drastically forcibly removed.

It is sad that the human race is not mature enough to respect one another no matter their physical presentation or sexual differences. If common decency etiquette is followed there would be no concern of safety or embarrassment! Part of the issue at hand is a personal one of feeling worthy to use the restroom to which you identify. The rule is to live & let live and unless the other person is in danger of harming themself or someone else leave them without judgment or persecution.

The advice I give any person including transgender/transsexual individuals is be yourself, act naturally, and life will simply flow. Problems arise when you are trying to be something you are not. The biggest challenge concerning this is for crossdressers who identify male and are dressed as a woman, or vice versa although this is much less common. It is important to be that which you present. If you are dressed as a woman, do not stand nor face the toilet to urinate. Do your business and move on. Of course for women “doing your business” means checking your makeup and hair, washing your hands, and making pleasant conversation after actually using the restroom. In the men’s room it means do your business and get out after washing your hands and combing your hair if need be.

Stop feeling guilty going to the bathroom! We are human beings and this is part of the package. Embrace the social aspects however seems best for you by what feels right, mind your own business, and all is well!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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Makeup Questions

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Let’s do something fun for a change! There are six questions below that I have answered and I am asking you to answer as well. You can post the answers in comments section. The question is in Hot Pink, the answer is in Neon Green. Think not only of the answer, but why that is the answer…why do you use that product or why do you use make-up in the first place? We can get to know each other, but most important you will get to know yourself.

1. What Brand of Make-up do you use and what types, like Foundation: Powders, Creams, Airbrush, Liquids, or stick on?

I use different Brands depending on the purpose, so for basic use I prefer Mary Kay and have both liquid foundation and mineral powder. For a more dramatic effect I have Mac foundation with a complete brush set, blush, concealer and cream foundation.

2. What brands, colors, & styles of eye shadows do you like? Example: Smoky, Natural, Animal, Punk, Classic, Trends 1930’s—1970’ and so on… YOU have Gothic, Drag Queens, Move stars, you get the point. (three part question)

I used to sell Mary Kay so I have lots of their product, so that is the brand. The colors accent my reddish hair and light skin tone, so I use a lot of earth tones, browns, reds, & greens. As a natural type girl I do not dress up very often, but when I do I like the Egyptian Goddess look, or Mayan/Amazon Princess.

3. Do you wear False Eyelashes? If so, what brand and types.

I do not wear falsies usually, but have when I had make overs done by a professional. So I am not sure what the brand or type was. My latest mascara is “The Falsies” by Mabelline which I like very much, especially the curved and angled brush because it lifts and separates the lashes making them fuller.

4. What brands, types, colors, of Blushes do you use? For example creams, powders etc… you get the point.

I also do not normally wear blush, but when I do it is Mac cream in a natural medium shade skin color or I simply use lipstick so it matches the color scheme I am using.

5. Lipsticks: What is your color…. Brand, or flavor?

Lipstick is by far my favorite and I used to wear it even as a boy. I no longer do boy mode, and continue to wear lipstick at all times. At the very least I have Chapstick on. My favorite brand of lipstick so far is Avon, My Lip Miracle Lipcolor. I also have Mary Kay, L’Oreal, Revlon, Maybelline, and some off brands which I chose for the unusual colors. The colors I prefer are Corals, Pinks, Purples and Lavender. I used to have light blue but that is gone. I would love to have the entire rainbow! The lips are our sensual window to the soul – feeling! Nothing more sensual than a juicy lesbian lipstick kiss! However, guys kiss pretty good too 😉

6. When was the first time you ever put on Make-up?

Around the age of 9-10 with my Mom’s makeup I dressed up. It felt good, but I was also very afraid of being caught, so I did not do this very often. Now I wear make-up, at least mascara and lipstick, every day. It is something I enjoy, because I like feeling pretty. On a deeper level I think it connects me to the women I most love, my Mom, Grandmother, and Aunts. I cannot imagine not wearing make-up!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Transgender and beyond

by Sequoia Elisabeth

It is time we revisited Transgender, Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation so that everyone understands the meaning of certain words and concepts. The Unitarian Universalist Church as a wonderful site (beside my own site of course) that gives a good overview of these principles, so please visit by clicking here after you have read this blog of course, lol.

First and foremost it is important to understand that gender and sex are different things and have multiple meanings. Gender is your self-concept of who you are man, woman, transgender, androgynous or other. Each individual is born with this, but is not aware of it till the ages of 3-6. If a discrepancy is perceived then this awareness is often suppressed or denied in order to fit in. I pray this is changing and from what I have observed it is. Children are coming out and telling their parents who are actually respecting their concerns. Cisgender is a term that describes “people who are not trans or gender variant—in other words, those whose gender identities, presentations, and behavior “match” (according to the gender binary) the sex they were assigned at birth.” (UUA.org)

Transgender and/or Trans is a person appearing or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. This term is often as an umbrella term to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis. For more on terminology I cover it extensively at this link.

Sexual Orientation is also hard wired at birth and does not change, although many people now days are bisexual or pansexual meaning they are open to the individuals personality and not so concerned with physical sex. A homosexual is attracted to their own sex and will not consider being with the opposite sex, just as a heterosexual is only interested in the opposite sex. With Transgender individuals these definitions get blurry, so it is up to the individual to identify. Make no assumptions because each person is different and may change their mind from time to time, especially if they are young and exploring. The term sex can also mean physical or biological sex.

The traits of the Aquarian Age person is that of being bisexual and androgynous which explains much of the trans-revolution we are experiencing today! We are moving from the end of the Piscean era to the new era of Aquarian! I have spoken of this in other blogs and find that this explains much of what I have been experiencing. I have decided not to get too drastic with my transition because I can see the bigger picture! I am exactly the person I was meant to be straight from birth!

Does this mean I was not to transition? Of course not! That is the purpose of these times and my life is a mirror of the greater whole just as your life is! All I am saying is I have chosen not to have sex change surgery. Your path is up to you and if you have questions I am happy to assist! Please visit the website below and explore the Gender Learning Center. It goes into gender at length as well as sexual orientation and the different aspects of each of these. The eBook “Sex and Sexuality” is available free on this website also. The eBook is an extensive look at gender, sex, orientation, sexuality, and more. So please give it a look see. The website below lists the info in several formats -video, powerpoint, written, quiz, and eBook, so you can find what works best for your learning method.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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Gender Transition

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What is the purpose of gender transition? A feeling of dysphoria is controlling your life, you feel uncomfortable in your body and out of place in your gender role. You feel compelled to live your life in the opposite gender and to do so fully, gender transition is necessary. There is a question of degree also. Do you feel like the other gender all the time or only occasionally? Will you be happy crossdressing and being in those gender roles part time? Not such an easy question to answer for many.

From my experience it is an evolution that begins early in your life when you first realize that you feel feminine more than masculine and have a male body, or vice versa. Like I said there are degrees and social constructs for you to step into. Will you be happy as a feminine man or masculine woman? What clothing are you most comfortable wearing, men’s or women’s or maybe both or even a mixture? Which gender role feels right?

Gender Identity is an internal function of your brain that is hardwired from birth and your journey here on earth is to discover who you are! Regardless of the physical body you were given at birth, this is about being harmonious in your body as the person you are naturally. Think about this for a minute, “Naturally“. What feels natural to you? What feels like second nature or instinctual for you? Forget that you have a body at all. Close your eyes and feel the Truth.

The gender transition journey involves living in harmony as who you are naturally. The mirror will often betray your self-image, so do not get distracted by what you see. The goal is to feel comfortable and happy with who you are being. If you can love the person in the mirror then you are doing great! As this is the ultimate goal. Transition is not about conforming to society’s expectations. Or what you perceive as society’s expectations. In fact this may be about your misconception of society’s expectations!

What are expectations and where do they come from? Expectations are behavior patterns that you accept as given per the circumstances. They come from your own mind and were passed on by those who raised you. You could say that they are learned, but I think it is more systemic than that. We are each like a cog in a clock, we fit in and do our part in the larger functioning of the clock. It could be argued that certain parts are not necessary, but that is a limited view. I prefer to say that each part is necessary or it would not be here, we just do not know the function or understand its purpose. Transgender often falls in this category.

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Transgender Day of Remembrance

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Have you ever considered why this day of remembrance is important? How about the advocacy work that so many organizations do? Does it work and why does it work? I mean what makes advocacy work! I remember being distressed by the thought of everyone gathering around and sharing victim stories and it was almost like death was a success. And indeed it is a success for ego mind, but that is another story.

Today I would like to shine the light on why it is important to remember events of the past and to honor those who have gone before you. The obvious answer that I have heard many times, “learn from your past or you are doomed to repeat the mistakes”, falls short. The other answer that these individuals are important as human beings and kindred family is indeed one of the reasons, but to me not the most important.

The real gift here is that injustice is brought to light. Awareness is raised in the minds of all people and they see that violence is destructive and unjust. Transgender Day of Remembrance brings our community to the main stream consciousness in a cry for equal rights. It is a statement that we are people too and deserve to be treated as well any other person. The fact that often gets lost in communities is we are all humans and a part of the whole of life; it is not us against them! Let me emphasis this point. It is never about US vs. THEM in any situation. When this perspective is taken it becomes a losing proposition. One if not both parties loose. The Equal Rights movement is about equal rights for everyone. No one person is better than any other or more deserving or less deserving of common basic human needs such as personal security, love, self esteem, personal fulfillment, cultural security, and participation, plus a right to life, liberty, freedom of thought, expression and identity, and equal treatment before the law. Let us focus on the things we all desire.

In the end what makes advocacy work is the Universal Law of Attraction among other laws. What you focus on grows. Or to say that another way, the energy of attention is a funnel that sends this power where ever it is pointed. If you are focusing on the things that are wrong or broken or painful then you get more of them. However if you are focusing on what is working, how systems are supporting you and what you like about a certain person, place or thing then you will get more of that! This seems simplistic I know and there are details if you wish to know more. This works, I am a living testament to it and actually so are you!

Take advantage of this Day of Remembrance to focus on what you loved about that person who has lost or taken their life. Focus on the laws that have been passed recently which raise awareness to what is acceptable and what is not. Share your dream of the world you wish to live in! It is important to be heard, we all deserve this so listen to others and treat them the way you wish to be treated. There are no victims only volunteers, thus I honor all the beautiful people who have volunteered to be symbols of change and to shine the light on a community’s needs.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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The Transgender Journey

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The transgender journey is a personal experience. Even though this is true, this journey has certain patterns or characteristics. Let’s look at some of the things that are similar with all transgender individuals.

First of all, we have all realized at some level when we were very young that our bodies somehow seemed “not right”. Whether we actually understood that our brains are one gender and our physical bodies are another is different for each person.

There comes a time when we need to experiment with crossdressing, this may last a lifetime or it may be very brief depending on the amount of guilt associated with this action. I remember my first time crossdressing only lasted a few minutes. I could feel this was right for me, that I am a woman but the fear and guilt almost killed me!

Going public with your “secret” is another phase of the journey. Once again this phase is characterized by fear; it grips you like no horror movie ever could. Hours are spent getting ready and you go out late at night to lessen the likely hood that you will be seen by someone you know, or that you will be discovered. Passing is everything! Once this has been done successfully, and excitement is felt and we get braver and braver.

Not all transgender realize that there are other transgender people so when they realize this meeting them becomes a high priority. It is a like attracting like, or Law of Attraction thing. This phase can occur before or after the coming out phase and will often motivate the individual to come out at least to their friends.

Coming out takes on all sorts of appearances, so it is hard to explain, the one thing that this phase encompasses is relief. Once the fear of your secret has been released, life gets much easier! The coming out usually starts with those closest to the individual and fans out from there. The relief can be so exciting that the individual comes out to everyone they know in one big blast. The results of which can be a mixed bag and depend on where the individual is on the journey. If they have done the inner work to make it all OK within them, then those in their life will be OK with it. If the guilt still rules their life then, well it can get ugly.

Once the transgender individual begins the life experience of living full time as the opposite sex, appropriate gender for them, life often takes major turns. Some loose it all, including jobs, relationships, pushing to the edge of losing their very life. Others are able to transition on the job, maintain their relationships and thrive! Once again it comes down to how mature the individual is and if they prepared for the changes. With proper preparation the journey is deeply Joyous and rewarding.

The next phase is one of empowerment were advocacy work becomes important. Helping others is almost a right of passage. We all do it to some degree. Some will do it the rest of their lives, although most reach a point where they are happy with their bodies and wish to live an average life. They have other concerns.

Some have surgery and some do not, but the point comes when you are just living your new life and all is well just as it is. The surgery is a high priority to some and to others it is not, I would say all transgender individuals consider it at some point. There are health concerns, cost and personal reasons to consider, not to mention sexual orientation. The surgery can occur at any point after the crossdressing stage, although the later, the better in my opinion. I say this because this journey is intense and can be very demanding. The individual’s maturity and inner healing is best done in advance, because surgery is not a cure, but just a part of the process. Yes, it does help to live the life of the chosen gender, but it is not required. Sex is a very personal thing and I will say that for the transsexual or transgender individual that intimacy can be a challenge, it has been for me. I expect surgery to help, but it may in fact make sex less enjoyable. This is why getting to know yourself is so important. How do you desire to experience intimacy? I am a “have your cake and eat it too kinda girl. 😉

Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity NEW eBook on Sex and Sexuality available now

Gender Related Transitions

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Gender Roles

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Continuing from yesterday on the subject of gender roles, please read yesterday’s blog first. I will get into the new eBook more on the next blog. Gender role is something that many people take for granted and accept without question. Others though are never comfortable in their gender role and live in the traditional roles of the opposite sex, for example a woman in combat military duty, fighting on the frontlines, or a young man who babysits and works in daycare.

Obviously there is nothing wrong with this, my point here is that the roles that define man and woman are blurring. Many young readers will question this blog as so what! However the older reader will remember when the thought of a man working at a daycare was not acceptable, nor was a woman in combat! Women did not break into male dominated professions till early in the last century and only on an exceptional basis. Medical doctors for instance were all men till 1849 when Elizabeth Blackwell graduated from medical school in New York. Now days 50% or more of medical doctors who graduate medical school are female.

Many vocational professions still shun women, so why is this? Is there really a reason why a woman cannot fix a car or fire a weapon? I will tell you that from my view women are feminine in essence and for that reason are usually not ideal for aggressive vocations such as fighting. The real issue comes in with stereotypes and is perpetuated by learning. We are taught from the day we are born what a particular gender does. If your sex was male at birth then you are taught what the gender roles of men are. If for some reason you participate in a woman’s role then you are disciplined or corrected.

Physically each person has gifts that give them an advantage and putting those gifts to work makes a lot of sense. When it comes right down to it, anyone can do any job, however some people will have an advantage in certain work situations. It is important to see the person for the skills they possess and stop using gender as a clear indicator as to whether this person will be good at it. If a woman wishes to do wood carving or car repair and becomes good at it then they should be welcomed as much as anyone else. The same goes for men who enjoy working with babies or love to sew.

Male privilege is something that also figures in here, because traditionally men have been more accepted than women no matter what they do! This is changing in today’s world, thank goodness, however it still exists and all I ask is that you see it and stop supporting it. All people are created equal in God’s eyes.

Personal relationships challenge our gender roles more than anything else, so I would like you to look closely at your life. Do you treat the opposite gender differently? Why? Is it ok for a woman to open the door for her man or for a woman to buy flowers for her partner? If they do does this make them masculine? Is this just common courtesy? Should we put limits on what a person can do just because they are a certain gender? Or should we listen to our heart and do what feels good? I think you know the answer to these questions and there is no right answer, only what works for you!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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MtoF Transition

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The usual course of transition for a MtoF transsexual is to first dress as a woman and to socialize with your peers prior to taking the major step of CHT or Contra-Hormone Therapy. Crossdressing and socialization does not need to be on a full time basis, although according the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) they do recommend full time dress for at least a year before surgery. Socializing as a woman is very different than as a man so getting used to that aspect is greatly beneficial in both determining if you desire to progress and gaining the skills necessary to be successful. Many things will come naturally for you such as mannerisms, emotional behavior including your needs and desires, and mental processes, because these are wired into the brain. What may not be so natural is movement, social expectations and relationships, because these are learned. Transition is basically the process of breaking down our learned “male” persona and allowing our natural female self to emerge.

It is important to be patient with the transition process and allow these things to occur naturally, although counseling, feminine coaching, and voice therapy do play an important part. A skilled counselor can guide your path and point out aspects that are not natural if they are not obvious and help you get in touch with your authentic self. The feminine coach is valuable in helping you to get in touch with feminine energy and develop its expression. I must say the first time I felt my feminine energy vs. my masculine energy it was a revelation! Being aware of our body’s energy and what we are projecting is very important. For women to truly be feminine for instance do not project that energy, simply center yourself in it and this simple act will attract others. This is the nature of receptive feminine energy. I have posted a link on the gender links page of my website to The Yin Project who I highly recommend.

Voice therapy is very important also and I suggest that you start this process as soon as possible, even before transitioning if you are planning that far ahead, which most of us do not. Please see these recommended links. I also recommend getting electrolysis started as soon as possible and depending on your age, I recommend doing laser first to clear the dark hairs and let the electrologist focus on the light hairs. Don’t let the electrologist tell you that laser is not permanent because I know that it is from experience. Links on this website page go over the whole process of transition planning, so this blog will stay focused on what to expect. More info can be found on the website. Expect laser to work and with about 6-8 treatments the dark hairs are gone for good. Multiple treatments are necessary because of the growth cycles of hair, and just ask the person doing the hair removal to explain. With the proper hormone regimen the face is the only area to be concerned with unless you are unusually hairy and I know that some men are. That is OK (it doesn’t mean anything, unless you say it does, lol).

The hormones do a remarkable job of reducing body hair and stopping male pattern hair loss. Find a doctor who specializes in CHT for transgender/transsexual persons, because doing this yourself or using a doctor with little or no experience is setting yourself up for failure. It can be done on your own, but that is contrary to what this whole journey is about in my opinion, which is to fully and completely experience the transition. Many transwomen want to jump straight to the result and if that was the way it was meant to be then don’t you think that you would have been female from birth? Please remember this blog is from my experience and if you desire a different experience then make it so. More on this subject can be found here.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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Coming Out

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Coming out transgender is received differently than coming out GLB, except for your partner your Gender Identity has more effect on people you know than your Sexual Orientation does. Some people may confuse the two and make assumptions, so I offer these things to be aware of when you make the leap. Plan ahead and make sure you are OK with it first.

Be prepared for shock and disbelief, especially from those closest to you. Think of how shocked you’d have been to learn of something like this about someone you thought you knew very well.
Some will feel angry and betrayed and may judge you harshly. Try to meet their anger with compassionate understanding. Remember that they may be fearful of ‘losing’ someone of great importance in their lives. Recognize that your transition may cause pain and hardship. Acknowledge this pain and avoid being defensive.
Try to resist reacting with anger, as this will only make things worse. Others are justified in feeling angry about your transition, just as you are justified in feeling the need to transition.
At times you may feel euphoric about your self-discovery. Caution against assuming others are feeling the same way about you.
Expect skepticism with regard to the necessity of transitioning. This is a natural reaction – treat it with patience. These days, most people understand that being gay is not a matter of choice and being closeted is not healthy, so it may help to compare the need for gender transition with the need to accept one’s sexual orientation. Treat efforts to “dissuade” you with good humor and respect.
Be prepared for suggestions that your transition is a selfish choice. If you feel you had no other choice, don’t be afraid to say so. Ultimately, only you are qualified to judge this.
Your transition will be bewildering to many, who will look to you to help sort out their feelings. If you maintain a positive, good-humored attitude about your transition, others are more likely to respond in kind. Be positive about how you expect your transition to affect your life. This is very important both for you and for others acceptance.
For many, adjusting to your transition will take some time. Keep in mind that you have spent much of your life dealing with these issues, while most have given them little thought. For those who are disturbed by your transition, taking your time may help more than anything else you could do.
Feel free to offer information about being transgender, but don’t assume that it’s welcome. Make clear that you welcome questions and are happy to discuss your transition. Many are full of questions, may even be fascinated, but are reticent about prying. When explaining transgender, do it with grace and sensitivity – don’t lecture or pontificate.
As a transperson, you probably have thought more about what “gender” means than most folks. Many will learn a thing or two about themselves when you share your experience with them. Remember to be interested in their growth around your transition, just as you want them to be interested in yours.
The type of relationship you establish before you come out will likely have a big effect on how the coming out is received.
Some of your family and friends may celebrate your courage, rejoice in your finding yourself, and congratulate you on your breakthrough. Don’t forget to show them how much their support means to you.

I Bless your journey of Love and offer my assistance if needed. Visit my website, Unity in Gender Diversity for contact info and more information on transition both spiritual and gender related.

I Love YOU, Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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What Next Cont.

by Sequoia Elisabeth

By loving a transgender person you have embarked on a grand journey of discovery that has no bounds. We are all on a journey to discover who we are. In the process of thinking and doing, we see who we are not. Along the way many personas emerge, and with each step you are closer to who you really are. In the end we discover that there is really only one, and this is GOD.

Who you are attracted to guides you closer to discovering your inner self. Since the world is an inside job, we must look within to find the source. We do this by looking around us and discovering what we are creating! It is much like a house of mirrors that distorts and exaggerates our true nature. This is where we resort to our feelings and let them guide us because our eyes betray.

Close your eyes and connect to your feelings right now. I will wait. …. Take a least a minute to feel deep inside. Identify each feeling and simply acknowledge it. Maybe it is calm, maybe it is anger, maybe it is affection but no matter what it is say “I see you, and all is well”. Be careful not to judge here, but simply observe. Make a list of all the feelings you observe and yes this may take longer than one minute, it is worth every second. The deeper you look the more you will find, so let consciousness flow. Now set this list aside for later use and go about your day, still making no judgments. Anger is not bad and loving affection is not good, unless you say so, which just happens to be the next step.

Somewhere in that soup of feelings are desires and dreams. Get in touch with those next and this can be done at any time, but usually best when things are quiet. Notice what feels good and what seems to cause pain. Certain thoughts or dreams will excite you and make you feel lighter, write these down. Other thoughts will scare you and can be painful, write these down also. Action is not required at this stage so just relax and feel. Take your time and keep these writing in a journal or diary. It is important to come back to them at some point though.

The next step is to embrace these feelings and explore each one all the while being aware of your thoughts, emotions and feelings. If you are male but have the desire to dress as a woman then do so and get help if needed there are links on my website. If you are female but feel that you should have a penis then try one on, most XXX video stores have strap-ons you can purchase(for adults only!). Take your time and notice how you feel along the journey. If you are adolescent then it is even more important to take your time and not to run from your feelings. Write to me if you need someone to talk to, I am happy to help.

This process of looking within and feeling your feelings can take a lifetime, so do not get discouraged. Remember it is about loving all of your aspects and simply being who you are. Let go of expectations and relax, simply be yourself!

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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What Next?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Having decided that you are indeed transgender, what next? For those who do not know, it is not always easy to accept that you are different than most people. I mean we grow up knowing who we are and relating to the world through our eyes but we do not know what a woman is supposed to feel like or how a man is supposed to feel. We have no frame of reference as a child.

Gender is something that only the individual can decide or more accurately discover! I am speaking of gender identity which has little to do with sexual orientation. That will be an entirely different blog. Our physical sex does not determine our gender identity and I have a great article explaining all that here on my website.

There is an innate feeling of misalignment for the transgender person, however so many of us want to fit in believing that this determines our love. We often think that acceptance comes from people around us like our parents and siblings. I am here to tell you that it does not. Acceptance comes from within our own minds and hearts after we have come to terms with our true nature. While transgender may be a variation of natural selection it is not wrong, bad, a disorder or a disease. It is simply who you are!

Once you have discovered who you are, and transgender individuals often have a sense of this at an early age, the journey becomes accepting yourself; loving the differences while noticing the similarities also, because acceptance is loving the whole package. Honor the feelings you have inside by allowing them to express. Look deep inside and embrace your findings with courage. If you need help along the way ask! This inner journey is something that everyone must do in order to grow and to expand their understanding of who they are.

If you are someone who loves a transgender person then I salute your choice and your bravery. Love is not about right or wrong it is about discovery of the deeper self. It is a two way journey and a blessing for everyone participating. Love is unconditional and it often chooses us, by this I mean we fall into it quite unknowingly. Once there it can be a wonderful and magical experience when embraced. The unknown can be scary so let me assure you that nothing but good comes from Love. To be continued….

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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