Oneness Ministry

A reprint with edits of a post in 2017:

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Pride Weekend 2024

by Sequoia Elisabeth

It’s Pride weekend once again here in Denver CO. As per my annual tradition I ponder the meaning of the word Pride and what it means to me. How does this serve me? (my favorite and most useful question) As an existentialist the answer would be there is no “Me” only “Us”. We are One after all!

But alas, there are many perspectives and points of view, so here we go.

‘Transgender (substitute your chosen identity) PRIDE is not about being proud of the fact that we happen to be Trans. IT’S about NOT allowing others (There are no ‘others’), to make us feel shame because we are Trans, IT’S about NOT allowing others (yourself), to define (y)our worth based on sexuality, IT’S about NOT allowing others, to define the love we share as less pure, less real, less deserving of recognition. TRANSGENDER PRIDE is about owning who we are, whether we are butch dykes, fem queens, or the always coveted “Straight Acting” gay (again choose your identity). TRANSGENDER Pride is about valuing the diversity that is humanity in all its varied presentations.’[Tom Guest, Senior Chief Hospital Corpsman, USS BATAAN (LHD-5)] With edits by the author of this blog, aligning with her identity.

I share my perspective here as well as the quoted material as a way of sharing my vision, or at least what I have learned. So, here is a different perspective from the Cambridge Dictionary. “1 – Gay Pride: the idea that gay people should not keep the fact of their sexuality secret and that they should be proud of it instead, 2 – the social and political movement that is based on this idea: a gay pride parade.”

So, which is it? In the end, meaning is based on understanding and self-imposed values. It is up to each of us to decide. Identity is both chosen and imposed by others, and since other self is just a projection of Self, identity is a choice we made long ago. Pride to me is about celebrating my uniqueness while at the same time acknowledging our Oneness. Our specialness lays on the outside while our uniform Oneness is at our core. Knowing this frees us to be ourselves while respecting others and allowing them to be who they choose. I give you the right to hate me (or love me), while reserving this right myself. This is free will and is the only real law of the land. For clarity’s sake, I choose Love! For Love is all there is. How this Love expresses is not up to me. My responsibility is to allow it without judgment or complaint. I am who I am.

Blessings on your Journey of Love!

Sequoia Elisabeth

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Thoughts of Crossdressing

by Sequoia Elisabeth

A thought which has stayed with me over the years concerns crossdressing. I recently read a blog about it, and they suggested it is about the inner desire to be someone else, i.e. to be the thing we covet!

We often idolize others for traits we feel are not a part of us. In fact, from my research this is the very basis of most relationships. If you break down the word relationships, ‘relate-others-ship’, you get our attempts at relating to others. Crossdressing takes this further to the point of being the other. Of course, as in most things in this (ego) world it exists as a spectrum. Can you become someone else? I think not. We can pretend till the cows come home, yet at the end of the day. We are who we are. Every decision we make takes us closer to understanding just this.

Who are you? The process of discovery is like a terraced landscape. We come to a realization of ___ is who I am and we stay at this plateau for a while until another realization takes us to the next level and here we stay for a while and the process continues. Where it stops, I believe is at the Disappearance of the Universe. Much like what is described in Gary Renard’s book of that title.

Getting back to crossdressing, our actions don’t really matter except at the level of form. Yes, the emotional roller coaster and consequences attached to certain behaviors can be painful and difficult to endure, however on the Spiritual Level hold no truth. I am not male, female, boy or girl. I am not a body! I am free, for I am still as God created me. Simply meaning, “I” am, the form is arbitrary.

Nomenclature holds only the meaning we give it and has no power of its own. A woman is only that which we agree it is and nothing more or less. While words can help us to communicate, in the end all communication fails because this (ego) world is a failure. I am perhaps better today at conveying meaning to an other than I used to be only because I understand things better now. As Einstein said, ‘If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.’ So, this is my attempt to explain my understanding of who I am and thus assist you in understanding you.

Words such as transgender, gay, bi-sexual, asexual, transsexual, etc. are attempts to convey an identity. I claim none. Meaning, use whatever words make you comfortable and I will do the same, because in the end, how you describe others just describes yourself. This is holistic non-dualism at its pinnacle.

Sequoia Elisabeth

How Important is Identity?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

As mobile as our society is today, how can one identify with where they are born? Is that really where they are from? Many people now are born in one place, and grow up in another. So are they from the place they grew up? How many years before a person can call it their own and attach identity to it? I’ve lived here in Denver longer than anywhere else except where I grew up. And if not identifying with place, do we rather identify with family or bloodline?

I ask these questions because we all have asked these questions at some point or another. Ancestry has become all the rage. With the military, corporate culture, and educational diversity, we have become modern day nomads of sorts. Many a child is born while the parents are on deployment over seas or far from the place the parents were born. This goes for corporate execs and graduate students as well. Myself and my younger brother were born while my father was in Medical School in a town we only stayed in for 5ish years. We grew up on the other side of the state once he found work. So we can hardly identify with that city.

This story repeats in infinite versions and that is all good. Who and where we identify depends on the individual. I also think we are taught to identify with family whether we feel close to them or not. The questions I pose here have no clear answer. Even cultural identities in our melting pot of a world don’t mean what they once did. Have you ever wondered why neighborhoods in the bigger cities tend to attract certain races? From my observation segregation is natural. Integration is not. I have lived in both types of neighborhoods and find no preference, though integrated communities seem healthier to me. Could that be hybrid vigor?

Identity is something we all think about, some more than others. It has been a challenge for me all my life and includes gender. Identity stratifies at many different levels. We tend to try on many and keep the ones that fit. I am still searching. Certain broad categories are easy to stick with like race, sex (not the same as gender), and family. Nationality, religion, gender, sexual orientation, body habitus, etc. are more fluid. It amazes me just how fluid some people can be, while others are far more rigid. It is best to be like a palm tree rather than an Oak in my estimation.

When you meet someone new and you are getting to know them, two of the first questions asked are What do you do? Where are you from? These are identity questions that tell you who this person is. They are also a way you have of identifying with them. Once a connection is made then off the conversation goes. My question is why do we assume this person “does” anything or is “from” somewhere? How about starting the conversation with, tell me about yourself? or How’s things?

The take away here is identity is important in everything we do and especially in how we relate to others. Reflect on your own identity. Are you satisfied with it? Does it define you? Can you change it if you so desire? Why would you want to? How does one’s identity serve them? Food for thought….

Sequoia Elisabeth

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Your Life is Not Your Own

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The life we live comes with a construct. Each and every lifestyle choice comes with all the trappings, quite literally. What do I mean by lifestyle? I mean roles, occupations, and leisure activities including hobbies. Let me provide a few examples to illustrate what I mean. Say you decide to be a cyclist, this would require all the gear to go with this activity and the more serious you get the deeper down the rabbit hole you go… cycle clubs, contests, professional status, sponsorships, etc. Choose a career… Broker for instance, this leads to college, professional dress clothes, employment, and a certain expectation of behavior including circle of friends and associates, not to mention an aptitude for math and social skills. Maybe you simply chose to be a housewife or homemaker. This too comes with its own lifestyle trappings. If not children, then at least pets. If not cooking, then at least cleaning house. Even being homeless comes with a lifestyle!

I trust that by now you know what I am speaking of. Our lives are scripted by the choices we make along the path. While I cannot prove it, my understanding is we make many if not all the major choices of our life before we are born. Some call this fate. I really don’t care what it is called, it has been my experience. I have been steered to where I am now. Need some examples? I certainly did not choose to be Trans* unless I did … before I was born. Maybe sexual orientation and gender identity choose you like a magnet chooses its polarization for the purpose of balancing your energy? I have always felt like there is something going on below the surface which I cannot see. Like I was being watched or something. I choose to believe it is my Angels (Holy Spirit) guiding my path and leading me home.

Another example is my childhood dream of being a doctor like my father. I tried 3 times to pass college chemistry and never did, so what I did was find a medical career that did not require it. For some reason, Radiology came very easy to me. I seemed to understand all the physics involved quite easily and fortunately for me the chemistry involved was taken care of by others (film processing was all automated and now it is all digital so they don’t even use processing chemicals anymore). I remember early in my career dreaming of the day X-ray caught up to MRI and CT (cat scan). Eventually my love of Metaphysics lead me to my current life as a Spiritual Peacemaker. Passion eventually leads to your most fulfilling experiences.

Writing has been an interest of mine for over a decade now and for some reason I cannot get the idea of reinventing Story out of my head. We each have a story (our lives), though we are not our story. We are much larger than any story or lifetime. What is next for me has yet to be revealed, even to me. This is something which will percolate for a while longer, though it evolves every day as my understanding of story expands.

Poverty or Wealth are also lifestyles and we choose them without even realizing it. Time and again poverty has been proven to be a mindset and a violent one at that. Wealth is often something one is born into, because if wealth came from hard work their would be millions of millionaires. This is not to say with the right mind set, some hard work, and smarts anyone can be a millionaire. Though I will argue that if the invisible and intangibles are figured in we are all millionaires. Economic cast is built into the system, though it need not be. Like I mentioned before, we choose our path if not before birth, certainly along the way. So there is nothing wrong with Poverty at the surface. I have always admired Monks for their devout lifestyle and I have chosen to live my own version of a devout life. It is my choice to put my faith in the Great Spirit to provide and if that means this life is cut short then so be it. Faith by choice means this life journey will be fulfilled.

Perhaps you’ve read or watched the story, Cloud Atlas? In any regard, it is an intertwined story of six lifetimes for four main characters. One of the premises of the story and what the lifetimes demonstrate is, “Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.” (David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas). Meaning everything you think, do, or say is connected with the great whole, with others in this lifetime, and with all other lifetimes. So with this knowledge what comes next? Perhaps you are more cognoscente of your choices and their path (consequences). Maybe you can lean into your life now, knowing all will play out just as it is intended. The only inevitability is the ego will die and maybe this is a good thing.

Sequoia Elisabeth

Oneness Ministry

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The Simple Truth

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Trans-gender is just that, changing gender identity from one to the other. The concept of a sex change has been promoted from the get go, way back in 1952, though what one really changes is gender, not sex. Our sex is determined by our DNA and as yet, is not changeable by man. The genitalia does not determine sex. Is a female who is post hysterectomy or mastectomy still female? Man or Woman are gender terms and thus determined through self identity with the assistance of social feedback. Eunuch is the term for a castrated male and as far as I can see applies perfectly to males post sexual reassignment surgery. Some have promoted the term Gender Reassignment Surgery and this is simply an attempt to justify their actions. I have met and known many people who identify as Trans* and it simply does not matter what their physical body says, their mind determines who they are. As feminine as I am, I am still male and I cannot run away from it.

Gender dysphoria has plague me since puberty, sometime being quite the burden and others where it did not matter at all. This is the pulse of Life itself. Purging is a natural function of the human mind. On again, off again seems so natural to me and I see it everywhere. Hobbies for instance often go through purging. We go all in with a hobby and 5-10yrs down the road we bore with it and change directions, only so many years later to come back to it. For me, gender identity is like this too. Hormone levels play a much bigger role in how feminine or masculine one feels, speaking purely from experience. Read my eBook if you wish to know more about hormones. I have been researching this topic now for over 40 years including personal experience.

You may believe otherwise from what I am presenting here and it really does not matter what you believe on the surface, it is your core beliefs (subconscious mind) which you experience. If you are Trans* (any identity other than conventional) then your inner self has emerged! Embrace it for what it is. Please do not judge it as either good or bad. It simply is what it is. Of course this depends on perception, so this is my attempt to live authentically, if that is even possible as a human being. I am awakening from the delusion that I can be anything other than what I was born to be.

Sequoia Elisabeth

Oneness Ministry

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Social Identity

by Sequoia Elisabeth

How far are we to go with allowing self (ego) identity? Who really decides who you are? In reality, it is other self (others) who decides who you are. We all have our own ideas of who we are and the spectrum of sharing this to the world goes full circle. Some shout it out and other totally deny it. My question is does any of this really matter? Do you care how I identify? Probably not, caring only how you identify. If this be true, I ask what part does other self play in identity?

The spiritual teachings I have read, and I have read a great deal over the past 30 years, say other self is critical in our own identity. The world around us is an unconscious projection of who we know ourselves to be. Please understand, 99% of us do this automatically and with no realization of the value we surround ourselves with. Saying “I am that” as you look around can be valuable and it can also be deceiving. We are so much More!

Now let us relate this to society. If I am born XY/male, then can I really change sex later in life? From my experience, No. There is no changing our biological gifts, with surgery or by any other means. Psychological perceptions on the other hand are totally changeable. We can change our appearance and even our experience of the world. I will caution, as my psychologist did me, that only 5% of those who transition, do so completely from one gender to the other. Think of a bell curve. Most will fall in the middle somewhere. No judgment here, there is no right gender. Though, we can conclude here that sex and gender are vastly different things. Most of us are born one sex or the other, given that some are born intersex, and we are stuck with it till death. Intersex presents vast complications so I am not going down that rabbit hole in this discussion. Gender is self identified to a great extent through our interactions with society. How one presents to the world determines their gender. We all have the freedom to choose our presentation, at least after we become an adult. Puberty is where my gender came into question, to me anyway. I presented as my birth sex for 30yrs as I struggled to work out my identity. My presentation slowly went from masculine to androgynous to feminine. Along with this transition, I changed my name and documentation to represent this new gender.

Recently I have been questioning the validity of these document changes. It is too bad society does not make clear the difference between sex and gender, though I certainly do. If the form asks for my gender I say Female and if it asks for sex I say male. (Actually both my DL and Passport say otherwise and I really wish they did not, yet they must to live in this crazy world) This is why all forms should offer a third option and many are doing this very thing now days. I value honesty very highly and it is my opinion official documents should list both sex and gender, leaving “trans*” options out of the equation. Actually, if it is not medical or census related then the question should be skipped all together. Those individuals who were born XX should be required to list their sex as female and XY as male, with intersex being for those who do not fit the other two classifications. Then we should have the option to list our gender as Man, Woman, or Other. I figured out my identity many years ago, before transition as Male Woman. The term Transgender or the many others folks have come up with just do not apply to me, though they are valid as gender identities. My call here is to make this as simple as possible, stating sex/gender identity. I suppose some people will be Intersex/male or other gender. Let’s be honest, I know myself to be male and as a result so does society no matter how I present. If you truly believe yourself to be the opposite sex from your birth sex and present this to the world you can be said to have transitioned, however I don’t think it is really possible to authentically transition from one sex to the other. Sex change is a myth! Gender Identity though is something we discover as we mature. It can be something we play around with, go back and forth with, though ultimately we will land on one that fits and we stick with. Society will play its part in our gender identity, so pay attention to the reception you get over time. Give your other self their due!

Sequoia Elisabeth

Oneness Minister

https://onenessministry.info/

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Specialness

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The biggest failure of my personal lifetime is gender transition and yet it is also the greatest success. Let me explain. Upon deep reflection and shadow work along with many years of Spiritual Study I have come to realize the motivation behind “transgenderism”. I will just say right now that sex has almost nothing to do with it! We all have the basic need to be loved and to love others. Family is where this starts, for most of us at least. I was born into a middle class family and had both my parents, along with a sibling before me and after. My “cry for love” (need for attention) was no different than any others. My parents did their very best and I can honestly say I had a wonderful childhood. Yet I developed a need to be noticed, an inner cry for love. So who was denying me this love? I was of course. At first my cries for attention where health based since Dad was a physician and this is what I came to know first.

Mom was a model in her younger days and she got quite the attention. She was also tall and perhaps she got more attention than she really wanted. Children model after whom raises them and such, Mom was my role model. I saw the attention she got and I know she was loved, I could see it everywhere. I wished to be like her. To get love, probably, but also to model love. The ego finds multitudes of ways to get attention, being trans* is just one of them. Any deviance is a cry for love. It is the ego crying look at me, I am special! I see this clearly now and have for several years, though it is clearer than ever today.

The ego’s desire for specialness reinforces the separation idea it is based on. Death does this also in just the opposite way, for everyone dies! These ideas of separation are at the root of every issue anyone and everyone in this world has ever had. We fear we are separate from God, that we have been expelled from the Garden of Eden. The wool so to speak has brilliantly been pulled over our eyes. Some would call this the veil of forgetting. I remember now and have for some time. We are One and this means there is no one else, no thing else, … God is all there is. By shining this light the darkness vanishes. Fear cannot exist in the Light. The more Light I shine, the less fear (false evidence appearing real) exists.

We are each familiar with the rules of the game so to speak, both of the dream world and the physical world. Neither of these is reality. This being said, it is what we know, for now. So it is best to face this world we have created with Love, why? Because Love is what and who we are. Remember, Love is reality. This is how you will know where your thoughts are taking you, if it dies or changes then it is not real. The answer is always love, every time you respond differently a barrier is created. The road home is paved in Love. Any obstacle is your own resistance to this Truth.

We are not here to change anything, so we must embrace who we are and even who we appear to be. As our awareness grows and answers flow in, this does not mean we must act, in fact, I would suggest no action. If you feel like someone else sometimes, I would suggest this comes from greater awareness. I feel and act more female than male in my opinion and thus my transition, nothing wrong with this. Though nothing is right either. What is Is. It’s about learning to love it. “It’s not about getting what you want, but wanting what you get!”

My goal now is to see with new eyes. To see Truth, Love, Reality! Everywhere! This requires faith to see beyond the surface, to see beyond emotion and feelings, to see beyond even Thought. I am on the road and life keeps getting better and better. Not because life is getting better, but because I am becoming more. Some call this awakening. In reality, there is no better, all is perfection. This perfection is what I realize now.

Sequoia Elisabeth

Footnote:

For those who would like to better understand the ego I recommend a few books, the best being ACIM, A Course in Miracles, the other is Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth. Of course there are many other books on ACIM, I like Gary Renard’s books because he makes it interesting and understandable.

OnenessMinistry.info & Transness.org

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Realizations of Truth

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Welcome to the new ‘me’, I had a revealing dream last night, so I am reborn! My identity crisis slips away as I become more clear by the day. If you read my blog you know I follow the teachings of Jesus as told in A Course In Miracles (ACIM), so I do not identify with my body. Yet I seem to have one and as per the laws of this realm what you are born with is what you have to work with. I was born male so there ya go, I am male. (SURGERY DOES NOT CHANGE THIS) My desire to express as what this society deems feminine is not something that I can change. These desires do wax and wane… much like the moon. Thus my self identity as a male/woman. (How you identify me says more about who you are then who I am) Sexual orientation leans towards females, however some males are also attractive so I suppose this makes me Pansexual since I know the binary simply no longer applies. The important thing is I am allowing myself to express Love (agape) to all aspects of the One. (Life is not about intercourse, nor propagation. It is merely one path to God if used properly) I love all of you, me, US.

So how does this apply to our ‘reality’? As long as I live here in Colorado I will continue to maintain the (F) on my identification, but I know that it is as much a facade as a (M) would be. They are labels created by man so he could discriminate. Jesus did not speak of such things that separate us. I will continue to dress as it pleases me, because my comfort is yours. Sometimes more feminine than others, and to quote the Sikh Prayer for Peace:

“God adjudges us according to our deeds, not the clothes that we wear;

That truth is above everything, but higher still is truthful living.

Know that we attain God when we love,

and only that victory endures in consequences of which no one is defeated.”

My goals here in this realm continue to be inspiring others and thus myself. Caring for ‘other self’ as I would my own self. Putting ‘other self’ first which means I am conscious of your needs. Free will is the Highest Law of the Universe (Truthful Living), so my decisions take this into consideration first. If you need my help you must ask! If you ask, my answer is Yes, to the best of my ability. Faith is the key word in my life now. To be is to have Faith.

Love and Light, Sequoia

Gender Related Spirituality

Unity in Gender Diversity

How Far to Take Your Transition

by Sequoia Elisabeth

How far to take your Transition

This is both an easy question to answer and a complicated one. The short answer is as far as you wish. The long answer includes the questions, Why am I doing this? What is my end goal? And just Who am I?

Knowing your dreams and goals are key to success of any kind. Transition is no different. This is not about wants or even needs, but desires. “Do not confuse desire with expectation, or with need. Desire has an entirely different quality to it. You can desire something without needing or requiring it. That little difference makes everything work. That little difference is the whole trick. Desire, do not Require. To desire propels. To require compels. Life will not be compelled, but it can be coaxed…” (Neale Donald Walsch)

The question of why is often a wild goose chase, however the ego seems to thrive on this question so answer it. Why are you transitioning? Be thorough in your answer too. Think of every aspect of your life which motivates your actions. Why do you feel incongruent? Is this really it or are you making excuses now? Life is an experience so feel the experience and make note of all those moments which elate you. Focus on the good feelings, but do not get the idea this is what it is all about.

What is your end goal in transition and how important is it to succeed? From my experience the end goal shifted as I transitioned. I was not willing to do all it took to reach what I thought was my end goal. The point here is I was influenced by my environment and as I grew in understanding my goals shifted. This is a personal choice for each of us, so stick to your desires. Hormones and Surgery are tools to enhance the experience, just remember they come at a high price (not only $$$ either). There are no right ways to transition, only your way.

Ultimately transition comes down to expressing who you are, …if you can figure that out. So just Who are YOU? My experience tells me that I am not a body, but a Spiritual Being. So, on this level of form I am constantly changing. Each day is a new day!! Be on the lookout for cycles also. Life moves in cycles and they tend to repeat. Make everything Ok, meaning accept who you are in that particular moment and enjoy it. While things tend to repeat it’s only because you need that lesson again. This is a beautiful paradox. You can do the same thing a 100 times and each experience is slightly different and yet the experiences we probably do not wish to repeat happen again and again unless you’re paying attention. Did you catch that? You are exactly where, who, and what you’re supposed to be in that moment.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity

What do we really know about Gender?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What do we really know about gender? It seems we know far more about physical sex since this is tangible. Both Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation are constructions of the mind thus making them difficult to pin down. It seems now they are not even “hardwired into the brain” as once believed. (All thoughts come from the mind not the brain just in case you were unaware of this). What makes us so malleable? The old debate between Nature and Nurture seems to make vacillations from one to the other on a regular basis. Perhaps it is neither!?! This just came out and changes the game once again.

“A team of researchers successfully changed the gender in the brains of newborn rats from female to male, according to findings published this week in Nature Neuroscience. “Physically, these animals were females, but in their reproductive behavior, they were males,” Bridget Nugent, the lead author said…” (Reed, Carey 2015)

What does this mean to those who identify as Transgender? This new finding would indicate that our status is the result of some chemical change presumably in the environment. It is just as likely to occur after birth as before. Perhaps it was the miscarriage drug given in the 50’s and 60’s, Diethylstilbestrol (DES) or perhaps it is in the food we eat. Soy is now found in much of our foods especially since many children are lactose intolerant now and use soy as an alternative. (I have personally felt the effects of phytoestrogens from foods like soy and flax). There are many other sources of estrogen in the environment and it would follow that there are estrogen inhibitors also. This would explain the gender incongruences and dysphoria’s that some experience throughout their lives.

Even sexual orientation is affected by the hormones running through our bodies. Before starting hormone therapy I was curious about sex with men but had never been driven to seek out sex with them. I was more stimulated by women. After taking estrogen for some time my desires shifted to men and at the peak of treatment with a high dose I was passionate about it. Now that I have no testosterone and take no estrogen (levels normal for a female of my age) I don’t really have any sexual drive. The conclusion I would draw from my experience is that our hormones are behind our sexual drive and perhaps even our sexual orientation.

The question then is perhaps instead of using Contra-hormone therapy to treat Gender Dysphoria or Incongruency a neuter approach is more appropriate. I am sure this would depend on the age of the individual and their desired outcome, but having no sex drive seems more desirable than one which drives you crazy (personal opinion). This is not about sexual reproduction, because we already have far more people in this world than can be easily sustained and we certainly don’t need more egos running around!

Concerning gender identity the jury is still out. It does seem that it is also malleable and if you want to be a girl or a boy that option exists. My question would be Why? Why do you feel wrong in your body? Do you really even have a body? Perhaps this is all just an insane delusion after all! Question Everything!

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Gender Related

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Identity Crisis

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Here are two definitions of what a girly girl is which came up in a discussion recently. We discovered that we each had a slightly different understanding of this term even though most of the group identified with being a girly girl or at least wanting to be this. The question I posed was Why?

“Girly girl is a slang term for a girl or woman who chooses to dress and behave in an especially feminine style, such as wearing pink, using make-up, using perfume, dressing in skirts, dresses and blouses, and talking about relationships and other activities which are associated with the traditional gender role of a girl.” (Wikipedia.com 2014)

“Girly Girl: an extremely feminizing girl. A girly girl’s favorite color is usually pink, but also likes other pretty colors like purple, baby blue, and pastels. A girly girl: Cares a lot about how she looks and dresses; wears very feminine, cute, stylish, and sexy clothes like skirts, dresses, cute tops and stylish low-rise jeans; likes wearing high heels; wears a lot of pink; does her hair up nice; wears a lot of makeup; does her nails a lot; loves jewelry; usually not into sports; reads fashion magazines; makes herself as little like a guy as possible; usually into guys as more than just friends but doesn’t have to be into guys like that because sometimes a girly girl can be a femme or lipstick lesbian. Also a girly girl says “like”, “totally”, “Oh my gosh!”, “Oh my God”, and “whatever!” a lot.” (Urban Dictionary 2014, grammar corrected by author)

Ultimately it comes down to being Authentic. Is this ‘Girly Girl’ your authentic self? It is also interesting to note that many transwomen have been in relationships with them or want to be. The question that nags at me is how does this relate to identity? Does our partner really have to resonate with our own identity? Isn’t this what these relationships really represent? Most people choose a partner who embodies their own ideals! People who they feel fill a void within themselves.

Perhaps this is what drives the Transgender identity. Sometime a rock is a rock. Is a rock ever really a tree? The topic of gender identity can be a confusing one and I certainly do not claim to have it all figured out. All I can do is work from my own feelings and understandings. So I invite you to reflect on this topic, to question reality, and to search for your soul!

This quest has been a lifetime journey for me and I welcome the perspective of others who also consciously ask “who am I”? If you identify as a ‘Girly Girl’ what does this mean to you and why do you identify this way? However you identify… why have any identity at all? Is it possible to not have an identity? Maybe you could un-identify yourself with anything! The question then moves to how does one relate to the world?

A Course In Miracles (ACIM) states all identity separates and this is insane! The idea of being separate from anything else is exactly what the Course is undoing. Nothing is separate from Source (God). God is all there is, so since there is nothing else to be separate from this idea is false. Perhaps then the only identity we need is “I am”. The name of God is “I am that I am”. When embraced with a comma we experience true reality… “I am that, I am”.

Sequoia Elisabeth J

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality

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Polarity Speaking

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Relationships can be complex with all the drama, expectations, and emotional turmoil involved, however they don’t need to be. Simplicity is a welcome approach in all your best relationships. Sometimes we need the drama in order to work out karma and to get to know ourselves better, so these relationships usually happen early on in life. The quicker you learn your lessons the less you need the complex relationships.

Each person has many facets to their being and we are here today to discuss the sexual aspect. “The second chakra is the sacral chakra associated with sensual movement and with sexuality. The information contained in the second chakra relates to relationship, emotions, intimacy, sexuality, creativity, work and money.” (Candess, 2014)

One part of sexuality is attraction; some call this sexual orientation, although we are going to be a little more specific. Polarity is “the state of having two opposite or contradictory tendencies, opinions, or aspects. The polarity between male and female” (Google, 2014) What we are speaking about today is the energy between us which we either find attractive or repulsive just like in a magnet.

Each person generates their own magnetic field which fluctuates over time and some can see this as their aura. This can get a bit complicated so no worries if you don’t get it all first time through. I am also not going to get terribly deep with this, so if you need to go deeper I suggest doing your research, meditating on Polarity, and experimenting with these principles.

Have you ever been with someone who you were intensely attracted to, who just ‘turned you on’ by being around them? This is what I am talking about and I call this polarity. If not, then perhaps you have negative polarity or your system just needs to be charged. If you remember from high school, magnets are either (+) or (-) charged and attract their opposites. On the human scale feminine is (-) and masculine (+). Notice I did not say male or female here because sometimes males are (-) and females (+), we call this transgender. Transgender also is often neutral or neuter in sexual terms.

So you can see the bit about sexual orientation is off base here, because this is set at birth. You are attracted to opposite, same sex or somewhere in between and this is hard wired and cannot be changed. What can be changed is your polarity! Those who are good at this are bisexual or pansexual as I prefer to call them. Bisexual as a word is deceptive because it implies only two sexes and as we all know by now that sex and gender are spectrums or scales, not either/or.

Polarity is really simple for heterosexuals because they are strongly charged and usually specifically attracted to certain people and as the scale shifts it gets more complicated in the middle and less complicated again on the other end of the spectrum at homosexual. Remember that Gender, Sexual Orientation, and Polarity are separate aspects of second charka energy. Where this becomes really important to understand is for the transgender person or Gender Queer who can find this very confusing. It has taken me years to understand it!

What makes this information valuable is if you are neutral, potential does not exist for you. Think in terms of electricity and magnets. If your polarity is neutral you neither attract nor repel, so in relationships this negates any possibility for sexual attraction. On the orientation scale this would be asexual. So what I am saying is without potential, no work gets done. This aspect of your life remains idle. Sexual energy transfer is how we charge the system (by having sex). Being charged up gives us energy and purpose driving our actions. The masculine shares physical energy in this transfer and the feminine shares mental and emotional energy so if you have one in excess or deficiency this will drive your attraction toward those who can balance your energy. A person can be strongly charged and still in balance which is the goal here I suppose. Meaning you have an abundance of all three energies.

Test these concepts as I present them here and see for yourself how they are true for you. I share from my own experience and understanding and certainly do not claim to know all. I do find this fascinating though and encourage others to get to know themselves better also.

The question for me arises; did I transition to balance my energy? Being male born and attracted to neither sex, I first was attracted to females (with some mental coercion from my psyche as to what is proper) and then later to males (so again the psyche pushed me to be of opposite sex). As it ends up I identify as Pansexual, but then identity is just your perception of reality (if there really is one)!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity For more on this topic read Sex and Sexuality

Gender Related

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From One Closet To Another

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Is it helpful to go from one closet to another? MTF or FTM? Isn’t the point of coming out to stay out? To define yourself as an individual and be proud of whom you are! This is an eternal question each person on the gender journey must resolve. Perhaps the answer is not clear cut. Perhaps this is the nature of being in question to begin with!

Gender when graphed looks like two mountains, one peak is male the other female.

Draw a vertical line through each peak and the area in between is the realm of transgender. We fall in the middle and thus don’t really belong in either closet. Also notice how quickly the lines fall off at the edges. There are not many in the extremes of maleness or femaleness. Easily sixty percent fall in the middle zone leaving the those who would consider themselves the majority surprisingly in error.

Of course there are other interpretations of this graph and it is not my place to define it for you, but only for myself. So take this as an opinion and not fact. There are no real facts, only perspectives and points of view. So who are you? How does that closet serve you?

closet hiding in Perhaps those who thought they were in a closet are in fact outside the closet and in reality it is the “mainstream” individual who lives in the closet, a strict definition of hetero/male or hetero/female which defines the closet. The closet provides structure and perceived safety, but is in reality a trap of normalcy.

So, I ask you again… who are you? How does that serve you?

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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How Necessary Is SRS?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

When is surgery for Gender Dysphoria appropriate and necessary? Should a doctor do the sex change just because an individual says they want one? Gender Identity is a person’s own concept of who they are – it cannot be proven by science, so does a person’s word stand as gospel? These are questions care providers specializing in gender must deal with on a daily basis. The rule many are adopting lately is the informed consent rule, while others stick with the WPATH Standards Of Care (SOC).

Let’s look at both to see what works best. The WPATH Standards of Care 7 was just released in 2011. It is put together by specialists in Gender treatment, including physicians, surgeons, psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists. One of the first things they point out is gender non-conformity is not the same thing as gender dysphoria and should be treated differently depending on the severity of the individual’s condition. It is largely the mental health care provider’s responsibility to guide the individual to a discovery of the extent and intensity of discomfort or dysphoria they are experiencing and if this experience is constant or intermittent. A copy of this publication can be downloaded for free at this link. (http://www.wpath.org/publications_standards.cfm)

“Surgery – particularly genital surgery – is often the last and the most considered step in the treatment process for gender dysphoria. While many transsexual, transgender, and gender nonconforming individuals find comfort with their gender identity, role, and expression without surgery, for many others surgery is essential and medically necessary to alleviate their gender dysphoria (Hage & Karim, 2000).” (SOC 2011) (Italics and Bold added)

Informed consent as I refer to it here is not the traditional form used in all medical procedures for legal reasons, it is simply the verbal understanding between patient and provider of how the individual identifies and then treatment ensues based on the individuals testament. It is used because as stated before no one can prove a person’s gender identity. Even the individual may have doubts about it which are to be taken in consideration by the provider. This is why counseling therapy is so important in my opinion; because if the person has other psychological conditions they may get the idea they are transgender when it is simply a masking by this overlying condition. It is also good to get several different opinions to confirm the person’s gender dysphoria before prescribing hormones or doing any surgery. The big difference is the SOC method recommends a letter from a licensed practitioner and the informed consent method does not. The provider just takes their word for it.

Obviously the question of which works best is still being worked out, so I will leave it to you to decide while sharing my opinion from experience. The SOC have been in use since 1979 and takes a conservative approach to treatment. The informed consent method is more cavalier and puts the responsibility squarely in the hands of the individual which may be the appeal for both the practitioner and the patient; however I question if it is really in their best interest.

To wrap this up it is every individual’s responsibility to ask questions, do research and know as much as possible before reaching any conclusions or taking any actions. Make sure you know which method your provider uses and what is required of the individual in the treatment path. Trust your gut! Or to say that another way, listen to your soul. It knows the path you need take and get a second opinion before making any life changing decisions like living full time, taking hormones, or having surgery. It is my opinion that surgery is a last resort used in the most severe cases of dysphoria. I also believe that everyone, yes even cisgender individuals experience gender dysphoria although it is often a brief experience precipitated by an external event perhaps through someone else’s dysphoria. There are other types of dysphoria also, like the feeling you are from another world or are really a non-human being, but that is another story all together! Those individuals are referred to as Wanderers if you would like to do further research. Till next time readers, Blessings on your Journey of Love ♥

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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Redefining Masculine and Feminine Continued

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Let us continue the discussion of Masculine and Feminine, how we define them and use them. As I mentioned before the Universal Laws play a pivotal role as to how we view and use Masculinity and Femininity. All the laws are applicable and important, however we are concerned here and now with the Law of Polarity without which relationships would have no passion.

“The Law of Polarity (Mutable): The fourth of the seven Universal Laws tells us that “Everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree”. It is also the first of the mutable or transcendable Universal Laws. It means that there are two sides to everything. Things that appear as opposites are in fact only two extremes of the same thing. For instance, heat and cold may appear to be opposites at first glance, but in truth they are simply varying degrees of the same thing. The same applies to love and hate, peace and war, positive and negative, good and evil, yes and no, light and darkness, energy and matter, (man and woman). You can transform your thoughts from hate to love, from fear to courage, (from masculine to feminine) by consciously raising your vibrations. This is what in the ancient Hermetic Teachings is called the Art of Polarization.

Rising Above the Law of Polarity: This Principle of Duality may appear to be very real in your life but it operates only in the physical and mental realms, not in the spiritual realm where All is One. As it says in the Bhagavad-Gita, “God is Above the Opposites”. By always placing the all-powerful, all-knowing Great Spirit of which you are a part behind your every thought, statement and action, and by always focusing on the “good”, even when things appear to be going “bad”, then in time you will rise above the Law of Polarity.” (Tania Kotsos 2013)

Remember that all Love is Self Love, because we are One. In reality there is no one else, ony Infinite Intelligence, Prime Creator, Divine Source or God (different names for the One). Individuation is how God experiences Self!

Till such time as you have transcended Polarity, it is useful to understand it better in regards to the relationship between man and woman; male and female. It is also important to realize the distinction between them which most never think of. Since I identify as a male woman (transgender) it has been of utmost importance to me. I think it can also be of great help to you no matter how you identify.

“A man may have a feminine core and a female may have a masculine core, or they could both be more balanced in their masculine and feminine aspects, but as long as one partner is willing to play the masculine polarity while the other plays the feminine polarity, they can enjoy sexual interaction with each other in a satisfying manner.” (Luminessa Enjara, Sep. 14 2011)

“The feminine is pure, boundless and infinite energy moving freely without any particular direction. It is directionless but immense, ever changing, beautiful and destructive. The feminine is the force of life and source of inspiration. The feminine moves in all directions, the masculine moves in one direction. The feminine needs the masculine to give it direction, focus and purpose. The masculine needs the energy of the feminine to give it drive and passion. The masculine and the feminine need each other. The masculine directs while the feminine projects. This is the relationship of yin and yang.” (Blog, Evolution of the Male Part I)

“The secret (to use sexual polarity) is that you don’t actually use it, you just live it. Once you start living deep inside your energy it encourages your partner to live deep inside hers (theirs). When both of you are there the electricity just happens. There is no active working on it, no trying to prove yourself, no performance. You just relax into yourself and let the natural male (or female) inside you live. You trust that your presence and certainty will come out, naturally.” (Graham Phoenix 2013)

Now it is up to you to search deep within and discover your polarity which is some percentage of maleness and femaleness, regardless of your physical sex and gender identity. Think of it as a spectrum with he curve looking like two mountains with most people being in the neighborhood of a 75/25 split one way or the other. (See graphic) I wish you Blessings on your Journey of Love!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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What Does It Mean To Be Transgender

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What does it mean to be Transgender? While this is a personal question it does apply to at least 3% of the population. The LGBTQ population is estimated to be around 10% so let us take a closer look to see the relevancy of the “T”.

First off the term transgender is fairly new being coined in the Sixties and meaning simply a person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. It is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis. This brings us to a terminological issue. There are many terms being used these days with new ones popping up frequently. Just to name a few, Transsexual, Crossdresser, Gender Queer, Gender Variant, Gender Bender, and Misogynist. (see TransTerminology for definitions) The point is we each have a different view point on identity, so take this blog as my view and adapt it to yours, … or not.

Gender Identity is an innate trait expressed with terms and understandings available to the individual at the time. So, those who haven’t the education on such things have no way to express in words how they feel. They can of course dress and present how they want given the social fortitude to do so. Which is precisely the point most meaningful to all of us, Are you comfortable in how you present to the world? Do you present your comfort to the world or do you conform to social pressures?

Understand there is a big difference between conformity and comfort. Authenticity is another level of expression often over looked. I think the process often runs the gamut from conformity when young and first dealing with society, comfort when alone or in a safe space, and then extending out as the “safe space” extends. The end goal is comfortable authenticity at all times which is no small task to a person who perceives themself as different. While this is painfully true with Transgender individuals it is often a “rite of passage” for everyone to some degree, shape or form. The awkwardness of adolescence is only compounded by a variant gender identity, often without the individuals even realizing it. This is something peers and family usually bring to issue.

Authenticity is expressing your true self in a comfortable and honest fashion. It requires a complete acceptance of who you are and total honesty with both yourself and others. On one level you do not concern yourself with others, while at the same time you pay attention to how you are treated because you know this is a valuable clue to how you feel about yourself.

The meaning of being Transgender undergoes an evolution then from simply being different and separate …to total acceptance of being just one of an infinite array of unique individuals unified as a whole of mankind. It is important to understand that everyone is unique and offer wonderful gifts of their own, just as you do. There is no shame in celebrating these gifts with all the world, in fact the shame is in not doing so! Be easy with yourself and get help along the path. Reaching this point sometimes takes a lifetime or more.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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What Is Gender, Part II

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Continuing with our look at What Gender is let us consider it more specifically. Gender Identity is a person’s innate sense of being masculine or feminine, which cannot be determined until the person is at least 3 years old and often it is 5-6 years of age before anyone is able to know the true gender. Since gender is an inner knowing of the individual no other person is able to determine the gender. It is up to the child to express their gender when they learn to speak. The Native Americans knew this and would not name their child until they were 4-6 years old in order to allow them to express their gender identity and find their place in the tribe. A baby name or generic name was used up until this time and often the naming involved the entire family including the child and sometimes the tribe. Once their name was given the person wore it like a badge of honor, because it reflected their very nature, their Great Spirit.

Context of usage is very important and I would like to clarify this right here. What I have described here is Gender Identity, what the parents are told at birth is the physical sex, how the person dresses is the gender expression and how this person acts in society is the gender role they are playing. So you must see the context of the word usage before you can understand which gender is being referred to. As I pointed out before the word sex has many uses so be sure to determine the context in which it is being used.

A vision of society I would like you to embrace is the Native American idea of allowing the child to choose, and get away from using physical sex to describe a child – most children as I stated above have no gender till they are 3-6 years old. As a parent, how do you know it is a boy or a girl? Fortunately the children being born today are more aware than ever before and they are expressing their gender identity at a very early age. Many parents understand this and respect their child, however others do not, so we each can help by raising the general knowledge of Gender and what that word means. I would love to see a society that reflects the wisdom of our ancient peoples by honoring gender identity and not assigning gender roles, instead allowing the child to choose the role that fits them.

A few words about the differences of gender role and gender expression, while they are similar they are different in that gender expression is about outer appearance and gender role is activity. So wearing make-up and female clothes is a female gender expression, while a female gender role would be cleaning house and babysitting. I hesitate to include this here as our roles and expressions are getting to be so varied and free. The old rules are breaking down, so we are seeing women in active military duty now while 20 years ago this was almost unheard of and men are cleaning house, washing dishes, and babysitting. The best way to put this is man and women are integrating now as a society and our roles and gender expressions are so much more open. New gender roles and expressions are emerging with each new soul born.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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What Is Gender, Part I

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What is gender and why do I care? Most people in society go about their business and never give their gender a second thought; however, I have a light to shine on this subject so we can all have a deeper understanding of who we are and why this is important. Every day we interact with any number of individuals and with repeat interactions we can say we know a person. The level of interaction will vary in importance and significance to us. This aspect of our being called ‘gender’ is actually an important function of how we react to others and how they treat us.

Of course gender is just one aspect of our nature, we have many others including but not limited to, personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, physical attractiveness, body habitus, sexual orientation, intelligence, common sense, and self-actualization. When we meet someone new a few of the first things we notice are the persons size, gender, attractiveness, and how comfortable they are with themselves. The package you present is a total summation of your nature and nurture. So some aspects are a gift from birth and others are learned along the way. The innate ones such as size, gender, sexual orientation, common sense, and physical attractiveness (for the most part) we must do our best to live with. This means personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, body habitus, intelligence, and self-actualization are learned. These are attributes of our nature that we have somewhat of control over. Gender falls in the attributes that are innate meaning we are born with our gender and we cannot change this.

If we look a bit closer we see that there are different aspects of gender that are important to our understanding, such as gender identity, gender expression, gender role, and physical sex. One of the challenges we have today is the popular confusion of gender and sex which are often used interchangeably. If nothing else I would like you to come away from this blog with an understanding of the differences of these two words. Sex is a word which has many usages and thus the confusion creeps in. In Dictionary.com thirteen different definitions come up with this simple 3 letter word, so I will not get into every definition here. When we are born the first thing the parents want to know is, “is the child a boy or a girl” and in this case we are talking about physical sex not gender identity or even gender role. Our physical sex is determined by the physical body parts we are given at birth, but with today’s new surgical techniques this can be changed if need be. Is a woman who has had a complete hysterectomy still a woman? Is this person still female? What factor is it that makes a person male or female? What makes a person man or woman? Where does gender fit in?

More next time as we explore gender identity and what it means to each of us.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Are You Transgender

by Sequoia Elisabeth

How does one know they are transgender? The answer to this question is both easy and complex. Easy in that only the individual knows they are transgender by how they self-identify and complex in that identities often blur together.

Transgender – A person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. This is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis. Dressing as the opposite sex for a school play, at Halloween, or once or twice as a youngster does not make you transgender.

A person can identify with many others who are important in their life. Gender is not always important, meaning they may identify with both men and woman and sometimes other beings as well, such as animals, plants, or insects. We do it all the time, it is called anthropomorphication, projecting human characteristics on to things other than human. Pets are a favorite subject for this. Identity is a fluid thing, because we are all connected through Great Spirit.

Getting back to self-identity, gender identity is usually apparent by the age of 3-6. For this reason historically the Native Americans and recently some modern families are choosing to allow their child to tell them how they identify instead of looking between the legs and then pasting them with an identity of boy or girl. Certain characteristics such as toys chosen, behavior in certain situations, and how the child interacts with others can be indicators of masculine or feminine characteristics. However just because a boy likes to play with dolls does not make him transgender either.

Gender is a spectrum not a binary and in fact 80% of the population falls somewhere in the middle of the bell curve. It is rare to be totally male or completely female in gender. Just think back about your life and whether you enjoyed doing things which were considered opposite of your gender?

The main gist of the growing numbers of Transgender identified individuals is equality. Everyone no matter their gender, race, orientation, status, finances, appearance, mentality or any other characteristic deserves to be treated as an equal. Each person in their own way is an expression of God, Great Spirit, or Infinite Intelligence. And it is up to the individual to decide how they identify! Our job is to lovingly accept them.

Doctors, Lawyers, or parents do not have the right to impose their interpretations on any other person. Now they can and will offer their expertise, but it is still up to the individual to take that information and do with it what they will. Even a child 3-6 years old can tell their parents how they feel.

The parent can then provide opportunity for the child to explore their feelings, and with love and support the child will fulfill their destiny. And for those individuals who have suppressed these feelings for decades it is never too late to give yourself permission to be true to you!! Ultimately, Love is the answer to every question.

I encourage those with gender doubts or questions to explore their feelings by looking deep within the heart. The only way to know for sure is to try different gender role expressions. When you arrive at a conclusion it will feel right. Of course, this is for the moment because life is filled with moments and this feeling may change, although the wiring of the brain is fixed at birth. Ultimately life is an exercise in discovery and forgiveness.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth