Oneness Ministry

We are One

Mar 29

Evo-lution

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transness.org is the evolution of my experience as being transgender. The journey consciously began sometime in the 70’s around the time I went through puberty, though I can vaguely remember questioning my gender around the age of 4 or 5 when I played show and tell with a neighborhood girl. Why didn’t I look like that?

In the book Sex and Sexuality I share my autobiography and discuss gender and sexuality. The topic has been confusing and intriguing over the years. Reviewing my progress through identity continues to be informative and entertaining. As I sit here now looking back 50+ years later I still have not arrived at a definitive answer. I created transness.org as a way to help others and thereby help myself. Recently I have been debating on what comes next. Where do we go from here? I am happy with things for the most part. Here is what I have learned so far.

Hormones are incredibly powerful and are not to be taken lightly. Many of us are taking hormones unknowingly in the foods we eat and the chemicals we expose ourselves to. Perhaps this is what starts the questioning process. I also know our environment comes through us and not at us. It is not separate. Like the set in a play it’s all connected. Or should I say projected. So you want to be the opposite gender, then just take this hormone and voila.

Sex is fixed in this life experience. The way you are born is the way it is. I know I have said differently at several occasions. I was spouting what I was told. I now know differently, not because it is a fact, but because I have tested the hypothesis and arrived at an answer. All the spiritual teachings say the same. Physical sex cannot be changed no matter what we do to our bodies. There are no exceptions only really good illusions.

It is important to understand the difference between sex and gender. Gender is a mental construct. A perceived set of rules we live by. Gender is man made. Sex on the other hand is nature made. (notice I did not say God made, because God has nothing to do with this world) Think of your life as a story. Once upon a time, a boy was born. The story sets the stage. Another story may be written but this story is fixed. I was born male and will always be till I die and another story is written. Now we can alter the course of the story, but the stage is set.  In the early days, men played the female roles, so this is nothing new. Basic factors or laws are written that we all must follow. Study screen writing if you would like a good example of human lives in general. This tangent could fill a book and it has, however let’s get back to the topic of this blog.

Transitions Blog has 548 posts so far. That is a lot of words even if I do attempt to keep my blogs between 500-1000 words. Not to mention the 4 eBooks I have written. Has all this writing served its purpose? I will say Yes. Writing helps me process my thoughts and clarify my ideas. I recommend it to anyone attempting to understand their journey. The question that has been popping up a lot for me lately is should I remove Transness.org and just focus on OnenessMinistry.info? I had the two combined at one point, perhaps that is best? We are Spiritual Beings after all. Transgender is just one expression of being human. It is a way of relating to the world. I believe it is an evolved way of seeing life from both sides at the same time. Ultimately there is no male/female or man/woman, these are just dualistic view points. Transgender to me is between dualism and monism. It is the process of monism viewing dualism. Oneness observes dualism and knows sameness, contrary to appearances. Transgender is NOT about being on one side of the bus and moving to the other side. There are no sides. For this reason I have transitioned transness.org to the next step in evo-lution for me. Being transgender is a footnote in my life’s journey, life goes on, I am who I am. Labels make us small. They shrink us into a box and miss reality completely. How does one label “All there is”?

Sequoia Elisabeth <..>

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Mar 14

Refined Message

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What is our purpose? I’ve been asking myself why I even keep these websites. What I should do with them if anything. So here is what I came up with. A refined Manifesto.

My purpose and lot in life is to love and accept myself and the dream I have created. There is no more sobering thought than to realize you are the source of your nightmares. All the pain you have ever felt is on you. There is no one else, not really. “All else” or “other” is a projection from mind, your mind, the only mind. Our whole sense of self is based on Ego, this is the very definition of identity. If you think you exist, then this is the Ego. It is not good or bad, it is just the filter used to experience the world around you… to Know thy self!

Sometimes this image gets blurred and we think the “Other” is who we are. On the greater levels this is true, however on this limited Ego level it is not. I am you and you are me, though the Ego exists to further refine what you and me are. Ego is separation. All in this world is separate and represents the Ego (not the personality as Freud presented, but the entire “self”). I have come to believe that gender itself is an ego construct and Transgender is a confusion of this primary construct. We are born male, female or intersex, this cannot be changed in this lifetime. Sex is simply our Identity construct, it may define our life this time around, but it is by no means fixed in reality. Gender by the way is not Sex, these aspects are separate and yet intertwined. In the Ego world, there are shades of gray or color. A rainbow represents separation of light… thus the Ego. A perfect symbol for anyone who identifies with being human, special, or different. Yes, we appear to be unique, but this is only a perception – a desire by the Ego to be special or somehow better than other. The way to work though this is presented in A Course in Miracles. I will not go into it further and leave it up to you to explore.

I will not tell anyone else what to think or what is right or wrong, because that depends on your perspective and point of view. Being Transgender is real if you think it is. It cannot be denied, as I tried for 30 yrs and it kept coming back. When you get a obsessive idea the only way to get over it is to move through it. It could be called a problem, but in reality it is just an idea. Consuming, yes. So accept it and move through it. Face it head on. Fear = false evidence appearing real. Even death is false. I have died many times or at least my Ego has. Love is real and can not be destroyed. Whatever is “killed or dies” is unreal. Know this and life becomes a Joy. By “Know” I mean no doubt whatsoever.

So, if you have the impulse to crossdress then go for it. If you wish to sleep with the same sex or deny sex all together, go for it. However, if you have the impulse to harm anyone including yourself then take a step back. Tell someone about these feelings. Talk it out and take no action. The question is what does “harm” mean? I have been over that many times. Is it harmful to Transition? Is it harmful to die? Does shattering the concept others have of you qualify as harmful? There is the simple principle of “what you do to another, you do to yourself”. So perhaps transition is just passing your own confusion off to others close to you (other self). As you see the “other” you will see yourself. There is also the principle that we learn through experience, so unless we transition no lesson is learned. Pain is inevitable, suffering is up to you. I am not responsible for your suffering, even if I am responsible for your pain. We each have free will. There are no easy answers to these questions, there are only your answers. I have answered them for myself. I invite you to explore these questions and do your best. Live life and don’t apologize! Only you can ultimately judge you, so be kind.

Sequoia Elisabeth

https://onenessministry.info/

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Jan 15

Gender and Separation

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender as used by the ego mind is a tool for separation. (Definition of ego and many other words used in this blog) Pitting men against women or perhaps leaving the person in a no-mans land of intersex where one is all alone. The goal of this blog is to show that gender (and biological sex too) are just tools to separate us. Yes, this physical world is made up of many different things and this in its very definition is separation, it is ego mind! Right mindedness shows us the truth, all there is is Love.

Please understand there is no right or wrong and in fact this world is illusion/maya. The ego mind wants to be special so it manufactures all the differences we know and value today. This applies to gender differences as well as all the others such as physical, mental, and ability differences. The ego mind is just as capable as the Right Mind so not all these illusions are negative. The splendor of earth is just a way to make you happy with your creation and thus hold you here. The beauty of a flower, the attractiveness of sex, and the pleasure from sensation is all the Ego’s way of holding us here.  God or Right mindedness is woven in here also by Holy Spirit if one asks which will be discussed further as we proceed.

Those who have experienced the ecstasy of the Divine know what I write here to be true. It is described as orgasm x infinity. All we ever get here in the Maya is a glimpse of the Truth. The doorway out is through Right Mind or Holy Spirit. This is the teaching of ACIM (A Course in Miracles) so don’t take my word for it, explore this yourself. The teachings of Law of One also lead to this same understanding. The point is to look within the self and find the Oneness. The connection to all there is goes by many names and the ego works constantly to offer up look-a-likes.

This blog was going to be about gender but ended up being about separation/illusion/maya. So here are the ways in which I notice the ego mind at work, which I then practice forgiveness (non-judgment w/ a focusing the mind on Love). Right mindedness will never lead you astray, ask you to harm another or yourself. It is not always positive, but it is always in the Highest and Best good for all. Remember that good and bad are the Ego’s conventions they are not “real”. So what is “real”? The ultimate question here in the illusion/maya! God is all there is… other names for God include Love, Peace, and Joy. I suggest reading Gary Renard’s books for a wonderful explanation of what is the truth. Other books which I have found enlightening on this topic are – The Law of One, Butterflies are Free to Fly, and The Voice for Love. I am sure there are others so get in touch with your inner guide and be aware the ego mind is always out to trick you and even kill you. Of course we know this is impossible, you are immortal because you are not your body, nor are you male, female, ugly, fat, stupid, genius, sexy, or anything else having to do with having a body.

Let me end this blog by saying one simple truth… I Love You. How could I not? Love is all there is!!!

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

OnenessMinistry.info and Transness.org

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Aug 5

Like a Reversible Sweater

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Human beings are like a reversible sweater.  They have both a man and a woman within each of them or if you prefer a feminine and a masculine.  This has nothing to do with sex which is nothing more than the physical aspect of the body.  It is time we started thinking of human life as multiphasic.  We each have many levels which shift and flow over time, some of us more than others of course.  Some never reverse their sweater and thus never get to know their full self.  Part of doing inner exploration is opening all the doors without fear and embracing what you find.  The spirit of acceptance without any preconceived ideas of what is proper or right is a must.  The idea of congruence must also be questioned.  Why do men have to have penises and women vaginas?  Like I said sex and reproduction is a whole other topic and at this stage of the game is becoming irrelevant with over 7 billion people on earth.  So let us move on beyond this primal need to replicate.  Instead let us get to know the self before we go about making more selves.

What I know is that there is much more to life than this concept of “me”.  I exist beyond this body and will always exist with or without the body I currently experience as “me”.  I am not “me”, nor am I “you”.  We are One.  The understanding of Oneness changes the entire game… it changes everything!  There is no “me” or “you”, only we.  Like a kaleidoscope of humanness we are constantly shifting and morphing, so to get stuck on one expression of this is a game ender.  The meaning we place on words is not fixed, but many think that it is.  You are not the “you” you believe yourself to be!!  Let it go.  And above all else stop trying to “fix” yourself.  We are here to discover (dis-cover) who we are, not to manipulate or manufacture a self (a false self).  Surgery, drugs, and other external methods just end up hiding the true self, the authentic self.  Please do not be drawn into this game of the “six-million dollar person”.  No other can make you better than you already are!  Love that which is the self.  In order to do this you must really get down and see yourself… look within, without expectations, fear, or limits.  Feel who you are… close your eyes and be not deceived.  Let the Journey begin… once again, for like all journeys they tend to repeat.

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Jan 17

Transgender Is A Noun

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The word Transgender is a noun and is not to be used as an adjective.  It is not a description per se, but a state of being.  I doubt you would ever call yourself maned or womaned, or even manized or womanized.  Gender is a state of being, it is not a condition.  This is not temporary within this lifetime.  This is the way we are born and the way in which we must live our entire lives!!

Identity is something unique to the human race or third density, because the very definition of third density is being self-aware and thus being aware of our identity.  A cat does not know it’s a cat, it just is.  The same goes for all animals because they are second density or not yet self-aware.  These concepts are not new or unique and I got my grasp on them through the 5 books “Law of One – The RA Material”.

Evolution is a path we are all on and even in the 3rd density some are just entering and others are in the process of shifting to 4th density and beyond.  Once a person evolves to 4th density they remain aware of the lower densities, but cannot see beyond where they are on the path.  This is the nature of evolution, so does this mean we move forward blindly groping in the dark?  No.  We have tools to navigate the unknown and the most useful I think is emotion/feeling.  The tools of the mind have been discussed in length on this blog so I will not go into each one and instead invite you to read “the Six Senses of the Mind” first published 6/30/2010.

What does identity consist of?  What are the degrees of identity if this is possible?  My answer is we start with Humanity, we are human.  This in itself is a major distinction even in this world.  We each have gender, man, woman, or transgender. (others may exist, it is your identity after all).  We each have race or ancestry and we each have socio-economic status.  We are born into these and to a great extent will have these the rest of our lives.  I know the last one is debatable, but when you really think about it 99% of the human race never change their socio-economic status.  How do you identify?  Traits can be a very long list, but do blue eyes really make you who you are?  Does gender?

The purpose here in this blog is to trigger a questioning and deeper exploration of identity. To invite you to clarify who you are and in the process perhaps broaden your definitions and connections.  I mean the ultimate identity is the One – God, Source Intelligence, Creator of all there is.  We are each an individuation of this One Source and part of being self-aware is to expand and deepen our understanding of who we are.  To fully grasp our connection to source while maintaining our individuation!

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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Jul 1

The Gender Journey

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What is Gender?  I know many of you have some idea but this blog invites you to take a closer look and to put gender into context of life here on planet Earth.   For a basic perspective on what gender is please visit The Gender Learning Center and review the first few pages, either the article or the Power Point Presentation.  Ok, now that we have some idea of what gender is, look closer to find both aspects of gender within yourself.

Each person is a complete and whole being, including aspects of both genders and often a combination of each in different proportions.  Accept that your physical sex is one aspect and your gender is another.  For a Transgender individual this will be different than for a cisgender person, and maybe even more important.  Before you can release something, you must first accept it for what it is and embrace this reality knowing it is only one aspect of you.   What you resist; persists.  So this is why it is so important to accept things as they are, while letting go of any expectations as to how life is going to work out.

Now allow yourself to flow to the expression of gender which feels the most natural.   There is no right or wrong way, only your way!  Others will either accept you or not as you have no control over this, however the people who are meant to be in your life will eventually come around and accept you.  Hold no attachment to who these people are supposed to be.

The next question for those who are Transgender or Transsexual is are you transitioning because it feels natural/good or are you changing because you hate the other aspect of who you are?  If you hate your body, this is resistance and it will persist.  Even after surgery if you hated your former self you will still see it in the mirror.  The change happens on the inside and is viewed on the outside, so doing your inner work of self-love is the most important aspect of transition whether you have surgery or not.

The real reason Transgender or Transsexual individual’s transition is for the experience of authenticity and self-expression.  Life on Earth is about Identity and getting to know who you are!  As I put it on my website, “We are all on a journey to discover who we are. In the process of thinking, saying, and doing, we see who we are NOT.  Along the way many personas emerge, and with each step you draw closer to who you really are.  In the end we discover there really is only one, and this is GOD.  The Journey never ends…”

I recently found a video which speaks directly to this journey (Ask Teal – Transgender and Transsexuality) so I share it with you now urging you to give it a “look see” and find the wisdom you need.  One reason I love Teal is she speaks from the heart and I see myself quite easily in her.  Her teachings align perfectly with mine, and it is so rewarding to find someone who understands life as I do.  Please share your perspective and if you have questions please comment on this blog.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Mar 19

How Necessary Is SRS?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

When is surgery for Gender Dysphoria appropriate and necessary?  Should a doctor do the sex change just because an individual says they want one?  Gender Identity is a person’s own concept of who they are – it cannot be proven by science, so does a person’s word stand as gospel?  These are questions care providers specializing in gender must deal with on a daily basis.  The rule many are adopting lately is the informed consent rule, while others stick with the WPATH Standards Of Care (SOC).

Let’s look at both to see what works best.  The WPATH Standards of Care 7 was just released in 2011.  It is put together by specialists in Gender treatment, including physicians, surgeons, psychiatrists, psychologists, and therapists.  One of the first things they point out is gender non-conformity is not the same thing as gender dysphoria and should be treated differently depending on the severity of the individual’s condition.  It is largely the mental health care provider’s responsibility to guide the individual to a discovery of the extent and intensity of discomfort or dysphoria they are experiencing and if this experience is constant or intermittent.  A copy of this publication can be downloaded for free at this link. (http://www.wpath.org/publications_standards.cfm)

“Surgery – particularly genital surgery – is often the last and the most considered step in the treatment process for gender dysphoria. While many transsexual, transgender, and gender nonconforming individuals find comfort with their gender identity, role, and expression without surgery, for many others surgery is essential and medically necessary to alleviate their gender dysphoria (Hage & Karim, 2000).” (SOC 2011) (Italics and Bold added)

Informed consent as I refer to it here is not the traditional form used in all medical procedures for legal reasons, it is simply the verbal understanding between patient and provider of how the individual identifies and then treatment ensues based on the individuals testament.  It is used because as stated before no one can prove a person’s gender identity.  Even the individual may have doubts about it which are to be taken in consideration by the provider.  This is why counseling therapy is so important in my opinion; because if the person has other psychological conditions they may get the idea they are transgender when it is simply a masking by this overlying condition.  It is also good to get several different opinions to confirm the person’s gender dysphoria before prescribing hormones or doing any surgery.  The big difference is the SOC method recommends a letter from a licensed practitioner and the informed consent method does not.  The provider just takes their word for it.

Obviously the question of which works best is still being worked out, so I will leave it to you to decide while sharing my opinion from experience.  The SOC have been in use since 1979 and takes a conservative approach to treatment.  The informed consent method is more cavalier and puts the responsibility squarely in the hands of the individual which may be the appeal for both the practitioner and the patient; however I question if it is really in their best interest.

To wrap this up it is every individual’s responsibility to ask questions, do research and know as much as possible before reaching any conclusions or taking any actions.  Make sure you know which method your provider uses and what is required of the individual in the treatment path.  Trust your gut!  Or to say that another way, listen to your soul.  It knows the path you need take and get a second opinion before making any life changing decisions like living full time, taking hormones, or having surgery.  It is my opinion that surgery is a last resort used in the most severe cases of dysphoria.  I also believe that everyone, yes even cisgender individuals experience gender dysphoria although it is often a brief experience precipitated by an external event perhaps through someone else’s dysphoria.  There are other types of dysphoria also, like the feeling you are from another world or are really a non-human being, but that is another story all together!  Those individuals are referred to as Wanderers if you would like to do further research.  Till next time readers, Blessings on your Journey of Love ♥

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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Mar 6

Redefining Masculine and Feminine Continued

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Let us continue the discussion of Masculine and Feminine, how we define them and use them.  As I mentioned before the Universal Laws play a pivotal role as to how we view and use Masculinity and Femininity.  All the laws are applicable and important, however we are concerned here and now with the Law of Polarity without which relationships would have no passion.

“The Law of Polarity (Mutable): The fourth of the seven Universal Laws tells us that “Everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree”. It is also the first of the mutable or transcendable Universal Laws. It means that there are two sides to everything. Things that appear as opposites are in fact only two extremes of the same thing. For instance, heat and cold may appear to be opposites at first glance, but in truth they are simply varying degrees of the same thing. The same applies to love and hate, peace and war, positive and negative, good and evil, yes and no, light and darkness, energy and matter, (man and woman). You can transform your thoughts from hate to love, from fear to courage, (from masculine to feminine) by consciously raising your vibrations. This is what in the ancient Hermetic Teachings is called the Art of Polarization.

Rising Above the Law of Polarity: This Principle of Duality may appear to be very real in your life but it operates only in the physical and mental realms, not in the spiritual realm where All is One. As it says in the Bhagavad-Gita, “God is Above the Opposites”. By always placing the all-powerful, all-knowing Great Spirit of which you are a part behind your every thought, statement and action, and by always focusing on the “good”, even when things appear to be going “bad”, then in time you will rise above the Law of Polarity.” (Tania Kotsos 2013)

Remember that all Love is Self Love, because we are One.  In reality there is no one else, ony Infinite Intelligence, Prime Creator, Divine Source or God (different names for the One).  Individuation is how God experiences Self!

Till such time as you have transcended Polarity, it is useful to understand it better in regards to the relationship between man and woman; male and female.  It is also important to realize the distinction between them which most never think of.  Since I identify as a male woman (transgender) it has been of utmost importance to me.  I think it can also be of great help to you no matter how you identify.

“A man may have a feminine core and a female may have a masculine core, or they could both be more balanced in their masculine and feminine aspects, but as long as one partner is willing to play the masculine polarity while the other plays the feminine polarity, they can enjoy sexual interaction with each other in a satisfying manner.” (Luminessa Enjara, Sep. 14 2011)

“The feminine is pure, boundless and infinite energy moving freely without any particular direction. It is directionless but immense, ever changing, beautiful and destructive. The feminine is the force of life and source of inspiration. The feminine moves in all directions, the masculine moves in one direction. The feminine needs the masculine to give it direction, focus and purpose. The masculine needs the energy of the feminine to give it drive and passion. The masculine and the feminine need each other. The masculine directs while the feminine projects. This is the relationship of yin and yang.” (Blog, Evolution of the Male Part I)

“The secret (to use sexual polarity) is that you don’t actually use it, you just live it. Once you start living deep inside your energy it encourages your partner to live deep inside hers (theirs). When both of you are there the electricity just happens. There is no active working on it, no trying to prove yourself, no performance. You just relax into yourself and let the natural male (or female) inside you live. You trust that your presence and certainty will come out, naturally.” (Graham Phoenix 2013)

gen_distrib

Now it is up to you to search deep within and discover your polarity which is some percentage of maleness and femaleness, regardless of your physical sex and gender identity.  Think of it as a spectrum with he curve looking like two mountains with most people being in the neighborhood of a 75/25 split one way or the other.  (See graphic)  I wish you Blessings on your Journey of Love!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Mar 5

Redefining Masculine and Feminine

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Redefining Masculine and Feminine and how they fit into society & culture.  As the human race evolves our gender roles and sexual definitions are changing.  It is fascinating to look back at things as simple as the bathing suit to see how it has changed over time, just Google the history of the bathing suit/swim suit.  Or look at women in the military and the roles they play there.  How about men’s fashion?  In some cultures the clothes are becoming more androgynous and the boundaries are breaking down.  Examples would be Europe, Japan and the more cosmopolitan cities around the world.

The purpose of this blog is to open your mind to the changes that are happening all around you right now.  I am sure this depends on the environment in which you live, but it is not restricted to just cities.  For hundreds if not thousands of years women would work around the farm performing work most men these days would balk at.  So this is not necessarily a new trend, but one which has been building over the past several hundred years.  Men are staying at home to raise the children and women are running board rooms and companies.   The business look is becoming more androgynous with women wearing pant suits and dark colors to compete with the men.

So what are these trends all about?  Why now?  Where is all this going?  I have done much research on the new Age of Aquarius and feel this is largely responsible for the changes you are presently experiencing.  There are also a few Universal Laws to consider as well.  Both of which I have blogged about before.  Focusing on the Zodiac cycles for now, it is well known that we just passed the 2012 end date for the end of an era.  We know there are 12 signs in the zodiac and the total period of the cycle is equal to 25,920 years so this makes each era 2160 years.  There is also a cusp period of transition between eras, making the period of change about 200-600 years.  From all the data I have reviewed the end of this transition period is between 1860 and 2600.  “The Age of Aquarius is an astrological age, which shifts roughly every 2,150 years. It’s defined by the sun’s position at the time of the March, or vernal, equinox. The Age of Aquarius begins when the March equinox point moves out of the constellation Pisces and into the constellation Aquarius. But there’s no definitive answer as to when that will be.” (EarthSky.org)  What this means is the influence of Pisces has been waning since about 1860 and the Age of Aquarius has been waxing.   When you look closely at the traits of each it is easy to see this phenomenon in action.

“The Age of Aquarius is the Age of Freedom, Technology (especially electricity), and the Water Bearer.” (Weaver, Sandra 2012) While ‘The Age of Pisces has been a very spiritual age. It is a time of gentleness, materialism and artistry, but also it is about impracticality.’ (Weaver, Sandra 2012)  War has been the theme of Pisces and Peace is the theme of Aquarius.  Duality has ruled the Age of Pisces with the male and female being polar but this is changing as the Age of Aquarius slowly takes over.  The Age of Aquarius is denoted by androgyny and bi-sexuality.  This makes perfect sense when you take into count the cosmology of each age.  Aquarius is all about Oneness and connection, peace, love and sharing.  Pisces on the other hand was about separation, duality, materialism, and conflict.  The lessons learned from Pisces are profound and offer a divine contrast to the world we are moving into.  Understand neither is the “right way” to experience life, but instead are simply a way to experience life.  Variety is what makes life interesting and we are moving into very interesting times indeed!

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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Feb 21
Feb 12

Celebrating Diversity Revisited

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transitions Blog is meandering along and in keeping with topics related to Gender and Sex I am re-posting a blog from 2010.  It is fairly basic, but I bet many of you have not thought of sexual orientation as I present it here.  Thanks for reading and please share your ideas for new topics.

Sexual expression comes in many different flavors, and is possibly as unique as the number of people on our beautiful blue planet.   The old school wants us to conform to the old ‘boy meets girl, girl has baby’ scenario and while that does serve its purpose as a race we are moving beyond that.  Relationships are so much more than adding one more baby to the rising population, or even the aspect of replacing the self.  The world may appear to be a binary system with only men and women, but I can assure you it is not.

Sexual orientation is an aspect of gender that Dr. Carl Bushong describes as “Brain Sex”.  “Our love/sex patterns, and how we relate to others on a social and interpersonal as well as sexual level, often referred to as our “Sexual Orientation”.” (1995) This aspect, like gender identity, is hard wired from birth, which means our brains, being much like a computer, are programmed to be attracted to certain physical attributes, genders and personalities.

To restrict every person on the planet, all 6.8 Billion +, to being either heterosexual or homosexual is unrealistic.  Instead it is much more feasible that each person on earth has their own unique sexuality which falls into several categories.  The categories as they exist today are, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, and pansexual.  There are a few other words being used but overlap these so I will stick with this list.  Within each category will be a sliding scale so that each person falls somewhere on the scale and is not necessary stuck exactly in that spot, although they will stay within a category.

Just briefly hetero means opposite sex attraction, homo means same sex attraction, The (a) in asexual means no sexual attraction, The (bi) in bisexual means both sexual attraction, and the (pan) in pansexual means all sexual attraction.  I do not like the term bisexual because it implies there are only two sexes, male and female.  This is the old world paradigm and no longer works (if it ever worked).  Pansexual includes everyone and applies to anyone that is sexual but not strictly attracted to the opposite or same sex.  This term is far more appropriate in today’s society.

The whole labeling game gets a little absurd after a while because the terms become contradictory and putting people into boxes is both confining and inaccurate. For instance, a transwoman who is attracted to women is lesbian or are they heterosexual since they were born into a male body?  And what about the woman who was attracted to this person not realizing they were transgender?  Does that make them a lesbian?  So what if it does?

The world is coming out!  We are becoming more aware of gender identity and sexual orientation, which is leading to more understanding and eventually to more acceptance.  I ask only that you stay away from the labels as much as possible and simply love the person.  This is why I like the Pansexual label best because it is defined as “A sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.” (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexuality#English, 2010)

Who you are attracted to should not be grounds for discrimination. (In reality there are no grounds for discrimination) Could you imagine if the world judged you on the grounds of your attraction to hair color?  “Oh you like redheads, uggg or ewww”!   Actually Blondes often get joked about and while it may be in fun, it is only fun to the person joking.  Sexual orientation is just another of many category’s that are used to separate or define humans.  Being unique is a gift, and it makes us lovable and desirable.  Just think of a rare diamond or rare flower.  Uniqueness is a desirable trait in our society, so why not extend that to your relationships.  Celebrate differences and LOVE the person – stop separating!  We are One – one big family of Human.  Love the One your with!

😀 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Dec 17

Mirrors of Friendship II

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition is a long and sometimes arduous journey so it is very important to treasure each moment of Joy and each success along the path.  Doing this alone is certainly possible, but the Joy grows exponentially when there is someone who cares to share the experiences with.

Often the decision to begin the transition journey i.e. come out to your partner or parent(s) is the biggest challenge.  Will they accept you?  The real question is do you accept yourself?  The only way to know if you accept yourself is to observe how others treat you.  I know this may seem backward or strange, but this is just how it works.  Understand this… you are all there is, all else is a reflection of who you are.  This may seem odd and self-centered, but it is the Truth and it is both good and bad news.

I call this the mirror principle.  Life is often like living in a house of mirrors, and it can get pretty confusing.  This being said let’s get back to your partner who is having difficulty with your coming out news.  Each person in your life has their own vision of you… as a reflection of themselves, because from their perspective they are the only person there is!  So, be gentle with your expectations of them just as you are gentle with your expectations of yourself.  Do on to others as you would have done on to you, because they are you!  We are One.  Each person is an individuation of the whole; the One; all there is.  All those who are close to you will transition with you or they will fall out of your life.  Transition/change is like walking into a new room, if they do not come with you,… well you get the idea.

When you think about this it explains a lot about the reactions and treatment you get from others.  You may or may not be treated well, however the longer and deeper your understanding of this reality the better life gets.  Those who see themselves to be like you or see something in common are going to be supportive and understanding (and vice versa).  This is a great reason to join a support group!  The internet is a great place to look for one, or you could ask around, network with friends and if you still need help, contact me – I am here for you.  The time spent with others on a similar journey will help you to better understand yourself and give you the opportunity to grow self love.  The Love you give is the Love you receive!  Not only do support groups offer much needed information such as where to go to get the things you need, what to look out for along the path, and who can help you; they show you who you are and I find this to be the greatest gift anyone can offer!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Nov 14

What Does It Mean To Be Transgender

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What does it mean to be Transgender?  While this is a personal question it does apply to at least 3% of the population.  The LGBTQ population is estimated to be around 10% so let us take a closer look to see the relevancy of the “T”.

First off the term transgender is fairly new being coined in the Sixties and meaning simply a person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser.  It is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis.  This brings us to a terminological issue.  There are many terms being used these days with new ones popping up frequently.  Just to name a few, Transsexual, Crossdresser, Gender Queer, Gender Variant, Gender Bender, and Misogynist. (see TransTerminology for definitions)  The point is we each have a different view point on identity, so take this blog as my view and adapt it to yours, … or not.

Gender Identity is an innate trait expressed with terms and understandings available to the individual at the time.  So, those who haven’t the education on such things have no way to express in words how they feel.  They can of course dress and present how they want given the social fortitude to do so.  Which is precisely the point most meaningful to all of us, Are you comfortable in how you present to the world?  Do you present your comfort to the world or do you conform to social pressures?

Understand there is a big difference between conformity and comfort.  Authenticity is another level of expression often over looked.  I think the process often runs the gamut from conformity when young and first dealing with society, comfort when alone or in a safe space, and then extending out as the “safe space” extends.  The end goal is comfortable authenticity at all times which is no small task to a person who perceives themself as different.  While this is painfully true with Transgender individuals it is often a “rite of passage” for everyone to some degree, shape or form.  The awkwardness of adolescence is only compounded by a variant gender identity, often without the individuals even realizing it.  This is something peers and family usually bring to issue.

Authenticity is expressing your true self in a comfortable and honest fashion.  It requires a complete acceptance of who you are and total honesty with both yourself and others.  On one level you do not concern yourself with others, while at the same time you pay attention to how you are treated because you know this is a valuable clue to how you feel about yourself.

The meaning of being Transgender undergoes an evolution then from simply being different and separate …to total acceptance of being just one of an infinite array of unique individuals unified as a whole of mankind.  It is important to understand that everyone is unique and offer wonderful gifts of their own, just as you do.  There is no shame in celebrating these gifts with all the world, in fact the shame is in not doing so!  Be easy with yourself and get help along the path.  Reaching this point sometimes takes a lifetime or more.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Sep 6

Finding Meaning In Life

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The blog today is about How to find Meaning in your Life.  Since this is a common question I did some research and found the following seven steps each of which makes a lot of sense to me.  So instead of reinventing the wheel the steps are to follow.  For the full article/source click here.

  1. Find out how inquisitive and trusting you are. Many people find religious belief systems more than adequate to fill their lives with meaning. Being a “True Believer”, however, will only result in giving up your identity for the identity of the collective. Conflicts and mid-life crisis inevitably arise when the adopted concept of self-conflicts with the true self. If you are inquisitive and trusting of your own intelligence, the first step is to find your true self. Self-revelation is not for the squeamish. Take the time to let go of societal and personal preconceptions, letting your identity emerge without construct.
  2. Let go of language. The universe was here before Humans and certainly before language, and requires no pedantic explanation. Words are not things or actions. They are vibrations of the air molecules or squiggles on a page. Mistaking words for reality is the mistake that puts politicians in office and sells all of the products, religions, and systems of government on the planet. Saying “Tree” is no more a tree than saying “I love you” means someone loves you. To perceive reality as it is one must accept that words are a vehicle for the transference of our perception of reality, not reality itself.
  3. To bring meaning to your life, you must be able to perceive it without language. The fragility of language will undermine your search.
  4. Seek without purpose. The universe will unfold and become clear when you seek knowledge without prejudice. Knowledge is not a destination, but a journey. Human knowledge is also imperfect. But don’t despair; we know enough to come to firm conclusions. A ‘fact’ can only mean ‘confirmed to such a degree that it would be perverse to withhold provisional assent.’ I suppose that apples might start to rise tomorrow, but the possibility does not merit equal time in physics classrooms. Work with what you can know, not what you can imagine.
  5. Know that the universe is under no obligation to conform to your expectations. It is what it is whether or not you exist.
  6. Know that your life in civilization is a construct, not a law of nature. Our lives and the way we live them are human constructs of what we think is the best way to live. It is littered with over 6000 years of myth, superstition, and dogma. Don’t confuse the truth with the things you do to survive. Society doesn’t, and very often won’t make sense.
  7. Understanding yourself, the universe, and your place in society, it will be easy to find meaning because you will determine what is meaningful. You will be able to separate the noise of language and society from the true sound of yourself. Define for yourself what brings meaning to your existence. Your meaning will be different from everyone else. You will know your life is meaningful because you will not fear death, getting old, or the various travails all of us encounter. Your destiny, your reason for being here will be apparent every waking hour. Contentment and bliss will follow.

The moral to this story is life has no meaning till you give it meaning.  You are here for a reason and it is up to you to find the meaning and act upon it.  I will add the importance of getting out of your head and into your heart.  This means to stop thinking about your life and simply live it.  It means to feel what you are feeling, do not hide, shrink away, or avoid situations you are presented with.  It means to live from your soul.

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

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Ps. For help in hearing the voice for love, go to this link.  David Paul is a friend and his teachings are highly recommended.

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Aug 20

What Is Gender, Part II

by Sequoia Elisabeth

 

Continuing with our look at What Gender is let us consider it more specifically.  Gender Identity is a person’s innate sense of being masculine or feminine, which cannot be determined until the person is at least 3 years old and often it is 5-6 years of age before anyone is able to know the true gender.  Since gender is an inner knowing of the individual no other person is able to determine the gender.  It is up to the child to express their gender when they learn to speak.  The Native Americans knew this and would not name their child until they were 4-6 years old in order to allow them to express their gender identity and find their place in the tribe.  A baby name or generic name was used up until this time and often the naming involved the entire family including the child and sometimes the tribe.  Once their name was given the person wore it like a badge of honor, because it reflected their very nature, their Great Spirit.

 

Context of usage is very important and I would like to clarify this right here.  What I have described here is Gender Identity, what the parents are told at birth is the physical sex, how the person dresses is the gender expression and how this person acts in society is the gender role they are playing.  So you must see the context of the word usage before you can understand which gender is being referred to.  As I pointed out before the word sex has many uses so be sure to determine the context in which it is being used.

 

A vision of society I would like you to embrace is the Native American idea of allowing the child to choose, and get away from using physical sex to describe a child – most children as I stated above have no gender till they are 3-6 years old.  As a parent, how do you know it is a boy or a girl?  Fortunately the children being born today are more aware than ever before and they are expressing their gender identity at a very early age.  Many parents understand this and respect their child, however others do not, so we each can help by raising the general knowledge of Gender and what that word means.  I would love to see a society that reflects the wisdom of our ancient peoples by honoring gender identity and not assigning gender roles, instead allowing the child to choose the role that fits them.

 

A few words about the differences of gender role and gender expression, while they are similar they are different in that gender expression is about outer appearance and gender role is activity.  So wearing make-up and female clothes is a female gender expression, while a female gender role would be cleaning house and babysitting.  I hesitate to include this here as our roles and expressions are getting to be so varied and free.  The old rules are breaking down, so we are seeing women in active military duty now while 20 years ago this was almost unheard of and men are cleaning house, washing dishes, and babysitting.  The best way to put this is man and women are integrating now as a society and our roles and gender expressions are so much more open.  New gender roles and expressions are emerging with each new soul born.

 

 

 

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

 

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Aug 18

What Is Gender, Part I

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What is gender and why do I care?  Most people in society go about their business and never give their gender a second thought; however, I have a light to shine on this subject so we can all have a deeper understanding of who we are and why this is important.  Every day we interact with any number of individuals and with repeat interactions we can say we know a person.  The level of interaction will vary in importance and significance to us.  This aspect of our being called ‘gender’ is actually an important function of how we react to others and how they treat us.

Of course gender is just one aspect of our nature, we have many others including but not limited to, personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, physical attractiveness, body habitus, sexual orientation, intelligence, common sense, and self-actualization.  When we meet someone new a few of the first things we notice are the persons size, gender, attractiveness, and how comfortable they are with themselves.  The package you present is a total summation of your nature and nurture.  So some aspects are a gift from birth and others are learned along the way.  The innate ones such as size, gender, sexual orientation, common sense, and physical attractiveness (for the most part) we must do our best to live with.  This means personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, body habitus, intelligence, and self-actualization are learned.  These are attributes of our nature that we have somewhat of control over.  Gender falls in the attributes that are innate meaning we are born with our gender and we cannot change this.

If we look a bit closer we see that there are different aspects of gender that are important to our understanding, such as gender identity, gender expression, gender role, and physical sex.  One of the challenges we have today is the popular confusion of gender and sex which are often used interchangeably.  If nothing else I would like you to come away from this blog with an understanding of the differences of these two words.  Sex is a word which has many usages and thus the confusion creeps in.  In Dictionary.com thirteen different definitions come up with this simple 3 letter word, so I will not get into every definition here.  When we are born the first thing the parents want to know is, “is the child a boy or a girl” and in this case we are talking about physical sex not gender identity or even gender role.  Our physical sex is determined by the physical body parts we are given at birth, but with today’s new surgical techniques this can be changed if need be.  Is a woman who has had a complete hysterectomy still a woman?  Is this person still female?  What factor is it that makes a person male or female?  What makes a person man or woman?  Where does gender fit in?

More next time as we explore gender identity and what it means to each of us.

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

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Jul 31

Are You Transgender

by Sequoia Elisabeth

How does one know they are transgender?  The answer to this question is both easy and complex.  Easy in that only the individual knows they are transgender by how they self-identify and complex in that identities often blur together.

Transgender – A person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser.  This is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis.  Dressing as the opposite sex for a school play, at Halloween, or once or twice as a youngster does not make you transgender.

A person can identify with many others who are important in their life.  Gender is not always important, meaning they may identify with both men and woman and sometimes other beings as well, such as animals, plants, or insects.  We do it all the time, it is called anthropomorphication, projecting human characteristics on to things other than human.  Pets are a favorite subject for this.  Identity is a fluid thing, because we are all connected through Great Spirit.

Getting back to self-identity, gender identity is usually apparent by the age of 3-6.  For this reason historically the Native Americans and recently some modern families are choosing to allow their child to tell them how they identify instead of looking between the legs and then pasting them with an identity of boy or girl.  Certain characteristics such as toys chosen, behavior in certain situations, and how the child interacts with others can be indicators of masculine or feminine characteristics.  However just because a boy likes to play with dolls does not make him transgender either.

Gender is a spectrum not a binary and in fact 80% of the population falls somewhere in the middle of the bell curve.  It is rare to be totally male or completely female in gender.  Just think back about your life and whether you enjoyed doing things which were considered opposite of your gender?

The main gist of the growing numbers of Transgender identified individuals is equality.  Everyone no matter their gender, race, orientation, status, finances, appearance, mentality or any other characteristic deserves to be treated as an equal.  Each person in their own way is an expression of God, Great Spirit, or Infinite Intelligence.  And it is up to the individual to decide how they identify!  Our job is to lovingly accept them.

Doctors, Lawyers, or parents do not have the right to impose their interpretations on any other person.  Now they can and will offer their expertise, but it is still up to the individual to take that information and do with it what they will.  Even a child 3-6 years old can tell their parents how they feel.

The parent can then provide opportunity for the child to explore their feelings, and with love and support the child will fulfill their destiny.  And for those individuals who have suppressed these feelings for decades it is never too late to give yourself permission to be true to you!!  Ultimately, Love is the answer to every question.

I encourage those with gender doubts or questions to explore their feelings by looking deep within the heart.  The only way to know for sure is to try different gender role expressions.  When you arrive at a conclusion it will feel right.  Of course, this is for the moment because life is filled with moments and this feeling may change, although the wiring of the brain is fixed at birth.  Ultimately life is an exercise in discovery and forgiveness.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Jul 7

Law of Gender 7ULs

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The 7 Universal Laws have become a yearly blog tradition.  So let us complete the list of seven universal laws with the Law of Gender.  There are two other laws which will get honorable mention in blogs to follow this one.  Understanding the Universe and working with life, instead of against it is our goal here.

Tania Kotsos in The Seven Universal Laws Demystified lists the seventh law as,

“The Law of Gender: “Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles”. The last of the seven Universal Laws is evident throughout creation in the so-called opposite sexes found not only in human beings but also in plants, minerals, electrons, and magnetic poles to name but a few. Everything and everyone contains both the masculine and feminine elements. Among the outward expressions of Feminine qualities are love, patience, intuition and gentleness and of Masculine qualities are energy, self-reliance, logic and intellect. Know that within every woman; lay all the latent qualities of a man and within every man those of a woman. When you know this you will know what it means to be complete.”

Many people would consider this law to include the duality of nature, however this law is about gender only and duality is considered in a different law.  This law is about the whole and the aspects of that whole.  To express gender fully one must embrace both masculine and feminine energy.  The fullness of being contains both.

Let us consider this in regards to people.  A man has both energies and expresses masculine energy primarily.  Situations will arise that he will need to express feminine energy, for instance while caring for children.  In an emergency situation where people are injured and swift action is needed to save lives and respond to environmental stresses the man will need both masculine energy and feminine energy.  The injured need the feminine energy of caring and compassion while the swift action and problem solving skills of masculinity will also be necessary.  Without both he is not going to be as effective in his response.  A woman in the same situation has the same energies at her disposal, but will most likely tackle the situation differently.  It is simply a matter of using the same energies differently.

Society needs to get over its identification with men are this way and woman that.  There are no rules, unless you make them or accept the rules others offer you!  Allow these energies to flow naturally through you and know that all is well.

I will point out here that gender identity is how the brain is wired and follows the same Law of Gender.  Transgender individuals are wired such that the traditional male = masculine or female = feminine is reversed to be male = feminine or female = masculine.  There is nothing “wrong” however; it merely is what it is.  Each person is comfortable expressing themself in one way or another.  The physical body need not dictate how the individual expresses themself.  The important thing is each individual feels the freedom to allow the Law of Gender to express through them as it needs to.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Feb 7

Transgender?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

How does one know they are transgender?  The answer to this question is both easy and complex.  Easy in that only the individual knows they are transgender by how they self-identify and complex in that identities often blur together.

A person can identify with many others who are important in their life.  Gender is not always important, meaning they may identify with both men and woman and sometimes other beings as well, such as animals, plants, or insects.  We do it all the time, it is called anthropomorphization, projecting human characteristics on to things other than human.  A statue of stone can be made in a human image signifying a personality cold as stone.  Or metal could be used to give the figure a fiery nature.   You are not your body, but a Spiritual Being having a Human experience.

Getting back to self-identity, gender identity is usually apparent by the age of 3-6.  For this reason historically the Native Americans and recently some modern families are choosing to allow their child to tell them how they identify instead of looking between the legs and then pasting them with an identity.  Certain characteristics such as toys chosen, behavior in certain situations, and how the child interacts can be indicators of masculine or feminine characteristics.  However just because a boy likes to play with dolls does not make him transgender.

Gender is a spectrum not a binary and in fact 80% of the population falls somewhere in the middle of the bell curve.  It is rare to be totally male or completely female in gender.  Just think back about your life and did you not enjoy doing things which were considered opposite of your gender?

The point of the Transgender movement that has been growing since the fifties is equality.  Everyone no matter their gender, race, orientation, status, finances, appearance, mentality or any other characteristic deserves to be treated as an equal.  Each person in their own way is an expression of God, Great Spirit, or Infinite Intelligence.  And it is up to the individual to decide how they identify!

Doctors, Lawyers, or parents do not have the right to impose their interpretations on any other person.  Now they can and will offer their expertise, but it is still up to the individual to take that information and do with it what they will.  Even a child 3-6 years old can tell their parents how they feel.

The parent can then provide opportunity for the child to explore their feelings, and with love and support the child will fulfill their destiny.  And for those individuals who have suppressed these feelings for decades it is never too late to give yourself permission to be yourself!!  Ultimately, Love is the answer to every question.

I encourage those with doubts or questions to explore their feelings by looking deep within the heart.  The only way to know for sure is to try different gender role expressions.  When you arrive at a conclusion it will feel right.  Of course, this is for the moment because life is filled with moments and this feeling may change, although the wiring of the brain is fixed at birth.  Life is an exercise in discovery and forgiveness.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Nov 9

Man, I Feel Like a Woman

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Do you feel like a man or like a woman?  What is a certain gender supposed to feel like?  How do you know?  I realize that most cisgender people have not considered these questions, but for a transgender or transsexual individual it is of constant concern.  Gender incongruency is something ~98% of the population can’t even fathom.  Consider the possibility the concept of gender as taught in the schools is inaccurate?

First understand the difference between sex and gender.  Sex is determined by the parts between the legs and gender is determined by the parts between the ears.  At least this is the modern or current understanding by science. Consider the possibility that each person is here in this world for a purpose and they have chosen the roles they are to live before they are even born.

What if in fact gender is determined by consciousness, the Source Field which surrounds the body and makes up everything in this world?  What if no one has a gender until they acquire one?  Much like sexual orientation it must be discovered by the individual.  I cannot tell my brother that he is gay or straight or if he is man or woman.  These are things he must discover.  Life is a discovery!  And we are explorers.

The prevalent teaching about God, Great Spirit, Universal Mind, Infinite Intelligence (or whatever you choose to call this energy) is that it has no sex or gender.  Eastern philosophies have known this for centuries and slowly the western philosophies are accepting that God is not a man sitting on a throne up in heaven.  Our philosophies are merging, especially here in the USA where we are surrounded by both all the time.  A new understanding is emerging and I call it Oneness.  We are all One.

The idea I present here today is that God is all there is and since God is all, so are we.  This means that no one has a gender or a sex in reality!  Those things only exist in the reality we call life on earth.  We are indeed all androgynous beings of light!  You may have seen this image presented before as alien life, for instance in the movie Cocoon (1985) or in episodes of Star Trek and in multiple instances in the media.  Everything is energy.

I mention the idea of androgyny here because I feel this is the truth of nature.  I believe that hetero and homo sexuality are creations of the human mind or the mind of man.  This goes for the concept of man or woman also.  How do you know what a man or woman feels like?  You do not know any more than anyone else does!  Just because you seem to have been born male or female does not mean you know what a man or woman feels like. It is what you say it is.

The core of our being is pansexual androgyny, meaning we are characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.  And we are neither men nor women, but a combination of both to varying degrees across a spectrum.  In some individuals this can shift back and forth as well.  You will define it as is comfortable for you.

In the end you feel like YOU.  Accept this feeling and get comfortable with it; it is all you will ever have in this lifetime.  No matter what you change on the outside, the inner core remains the same.  The experience will change as this is the point of the material world.  Enjoy the ride, act with authenticity, and live with pride!  This is your role in life and it is mine.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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