Oneness Ministry

We are One

Appearances Can Be Deceiving

Transition from male to female or vice versa is a drastic physical change and is often difficult not only for the person transitioning but for the entire family and if the person is famous then the entire community.  The further removed this person is the easier it is to accept, however when it is a person you admire or even idolize it becomes a whole different story.

Why are things so difficult you may ask?  Because each person has a concept of whom they think that person is.  You know your brother, right?  Or whatever role that person plays in your life, you think that is who this person is, but is that reality?  If your brother becomes your sister or your father becomes your second mom does this lessen the relationship?  How does this reflect on you?

The pride cometh before the fall!  Maybe the biggest issue is that your ego is bruised from the whole affair.  Someone in your family is different and this embarrasses you.  You did not even know this person whom you were so close to and oh my goodness this could rub off on me!  Does this mean I am queer too?  A member of your “team” has fallen in your eyes… or have they?

Maybe what is amiss is the mistaken notion that families know each other better than the rest of the world knows them.  Maybe everything happens for a reason and contains a gift for all involved.  Maybe each person need be on the lookout for gifts and when drastic events such as one family member transitioning occur this is the greatest gift of all.

The lessons are many and are different for each person involved, however a few themes are “we are not our bodies, we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience, do not judge a book by its cover, and Love has no limits.”  The human race is in a pivotal stage of evolution.  The physical body is being surpassed by the mental and Spirit.  It is a case of the jar no longer containing all the juice.  The body no longer defines who we are (if it ever did).

Appearances can be deceiving!  Just because someone looks big and strong, does this mean they are?  Or maybe they are beautiful to the eye; does this mean they have depth of character and compassion?  The saying, “do not judge a book by its cover” applies here.  However just because you have read the book (think you know your brother) does not mean that someone else could not interpret the story differently.

Love has no limits!  Unconditional Love is the only true Love!  This means that no matter what this person does that you still Love them and accept them for who they believe themselves to be!  It means you do not judge them for doing something you disagree with or goes against your moral values.  It does not mean that you must join them!  Pain comes from resistance and is often connected to ego; it is not Love!

So what is a person to do when it comes to family, friends or enemies?  The spiritual teachings tell us to Love thy neighbor as thyself.  See beyond the “cover” or physical body and perceive the soul, because when you see each person as a brilliant soul, child of God.  The world changes… it becomes Heaven.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

 

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Modeling Your Environment

Our thoughts are more powerful than we know and one of the principles which can assist us on our transition is “guilty by association”.   When you are aware of this principle you can use it to your advantage instead of suffering its consequences. 

This principle works by proximity, be it thought or physical location.  Whomever or whatever we associate with we become like.  This is why children often go into the professions their parents where in.  Growing up with physician parents or farmer parents greatly increases the likelihood of the child going into a similar field.  In fact I believe this is one reason why we chose the parents that we did.  Our birth families expose us to the elements that we need to grow, and it matters not if that environment is harsh or served with a silver spoon.  All situations have advantages and disadvantages. 

We learn from our surroundings and the behavior of those we spend time with.  This learning is unintentional most of the time, however when used constructively it can be very powerful.  The concept of apprenticeship and internship works this way, as does immersion learning.  When we wish to learn something new the best way is to find a teacher who can show you the “ropes”.  Volunteer if you have to, but get into the environment in which you would like to be working or be like.  If you desire to be a millionaire then hang out with them!  The same goes for drug dealers or prostitution, if you are hanging with those types you will be like those types.  You may have heard the saying “if you want to know who you are, simply look at your friends”. 

This same principle will benefit a transsexual person transitioning from male to female.  If you desire to be the woman you feel yourself to be, hang out with women.  Study their behavior and mannerisms so that you can immolate them.  How do they speak, walk, laugh, flirt, sit, interact with each other, interact with the opposite sex?  Children do this instinctively from birth, however a transsexual has been programmed in the opposite and must unlearn the rearing lessons on gender behavior and learn the new behavior.  Basically the MtoF releases their male persona (no longer identifies with it) and then allows the female persona to emerge (identifying as woman).  Some will have picked up pieces along the way because of innate feelings guiding them.  It really depends on how strict the environment was in which they were raised. 

For those who desire to start their own business, finding others who are in that business to associate with will make their likelihood of success so much greater.  Or if you are quitting smoking then you will want to stay away from other smokers and places that are associated with smoking like the bar or buddies who smoke. 

You may remember stories of gangs like “West Side Story” or “Boyz in da Hood” and if you hang out with a particular group then you are guilty by association!  Be careful the groups you hang out with and make sure you wish to be like them.  This goes in every situation whether it is on the playground, at church or at work.  I suggest hanging with people you want to be like, so if you desire to be successful then hang with successful people.  If you like art then hang out with artists, take classes in art, collect art, go to art parties.  This process will be fun when you are using it consciously. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Transition Journey

So what is transition really?  Ok, so it is a change, but what does that mean?  Yes, change is the most constant force in the Universe!  By transition do we mean a flower blooming?  Or a child growing to an adult?  Maybe, however to make this as simple as we can let’s go with a definition of changing from one state of being to another.  Now let’s get more specific and look at gender identity.  The transition I speak of today is gender transition. 

In a way the transition is not about change at all, but about awareness.  Just being aware of what already is.  The core does not change.  Instead the person moves from ones state of being to another.  Like peeling the layers of an onion the transition journey reveals the deeper realization of self.  This may take a lifetime or it can be done in a few years.  The fact is that individuals are born with a gender identity that is innate.  However it is easy to be mis-lead by appearances.  Getting caught up in societies expectations is so easy with all the roles we have thrust upon us.  

Authentic gender transition is about removing the false persona, male identity for MtoF or female persona for FtoM, which is created to “fit” into the world based on societies expectations.  Removing the veil and allowing our authentic self to emerge is what the journey is all about.  Growing up takes time so transition does not happen overnight, however transition does happen a lot faster than the first time around, unless you are one of the lucky ones who have not allowed the veil to be drawn.  When you start young the false persona is not created, but you still must be aware of your authentic self and make sure this is who you are expressing.  More and more kids are being allowed to transition now days which is a revolution of awakening in this authors opinion. 

Transition is a natural process that really needs no assistance other than deep awareness.  Are you aware of how you feel?  What makes you happy?  Have you walked down that road and deeply enjoyed the journey?  If you are male transitioning to female then dress up and see how it feels.  Know as much as you can about the journey. It is sort of like planning a trip from New York to Shangri-La. In order to get to Shangri-La one must leave New York.  

If you need a tour guide then by all means, please get help.  Discovering the aspects of you that are false can be a long road and not an obvious one.  The most important aspect of the transition journey is to be authentic and natural.  Authenticity involves following your bliss, and doing that which brings Joy to your heart.  Let go of any desire to play a role or attempt to fit other people’s expectations.  It is not about being black or white (male or female), but about showing your true colors!

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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The Art of Observation

The art of observation is our best tool in transition.  Children and babies use this technique and so should we.  So what do I mean “the art of observation”?  It is really very simple and it goes like this.  Of course we must know what our desired result is to start with.  It is like writing a good book, you start with the ending!

Let’s use the example of male to female transition.  I know I am a woman in a male body, so I hold a vision of the woman I feel myself to be.  I may even get a picture and keep it with me.  I share my vision with others who are supportive.  I desire to express myself more appropriately as the woman I am, however since I have a male body I have learned how to be a man not a woman.  By using the art of observation I simply observe women in action, walking, talking, getting angry, laughing, smiling, working, dressing, shopping etc.  It is good to choose a woman who you would like to be like, a role model.  Most of us use our mothers since we see them every day and this is precisely what I did.  I have always known I was like mom so she is the one I learned from just as any daughter would do, even though she thought I was her son. 

She taught me to coordinate colors and styles, how to cook, how to clean, and all the usual housekeeping tasks because she wanted me to be self sufficient.  What she did not realize is that she taught me how to act like a lady in public, how to walk like a lady, hand & body gestures, ways of styling my hair, going to the salon every 2-3 wks, and the list goes on.  You get the idea now, that we watch our role models every move and copy it!  The result will be as good as our choice in role models.  We will obviously have our own personality, likes and dislikes, however even most of these are learned from our parents and family or the people we are around the most.  If you were raised by your grandmother then she will be who you learn from. 

If there are traits you do not like, then you can pick and choose just as you would in a buffet line!  You may decide that you wish to be like Lady Gaga or Madonna, it really does not matter.  Just be observative and in the end you will create the person of your dreams.  The secret to it all is being aware enough to make the observations consciously so that you can incorporate them into your behavior.  Be very attuned to detail and notice the small things.  Life is full of nuance and that is the beauty of it all.  For more on awareness check out this article on Unity in Gender Diversity.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

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The Essence of Transition

So what is transition really?  Ok, so it is a change, but what does that mean?  Change is the most constant force in the Universe!  By transition do we mean a flower blooming?  Or a child growing to an adult?  Not really, although those can be thought of as transitions.  Let’s go deeper and be a bit more specific.  The transition I am speaking of today is gender. 

In one way the transition is not about change at all, but about awareness.  Just being aware of what already is.  Our core person does not change; it is who we are.  Like peeling the layers of an onion the transition journey is about looking deeper within and throwing away the false self.  We have many false identities not just one.  Getting caught up in this outer world is so easy with all the roles we have thrust upon us.  

“Real” gender transition is about removing the false persona, or male identity (for MtoF) which we created to “fit” into the world based on the existing rules.  Removing the veil and allowing our authentic self to emerge is what the journey is all about.  Growing up takes time so transition does not happen overnight, however it does happen a lot faster than the first time around, unless you are one of the lucky ones who have not allowed the veil to be drawn.  When we start young the false persona is not created, but we still must be aware of our authentic self and make sure that is who we are expressing.

Transition is a natural process that really needs no assistance other than deep awareness.  Are you aware of how you feel?  What makes you happy?  Have you walked down that road and deeply enjoyed the journey?  If you are male transitioning to female then dress up and see how it feels.  Know as much as you can what you are getting into (or vice versa guys).  Letting go of your male persona is like trying to escape a swarm of mosquitoes!  It can drive you insane! 

Sometimes guidance is necessary along the way, so please get help if you can.  Discovering the aspects of you that are false can be a long road and not an obvious one.  The most important aspect of the transition journey is to be authentic and natural.  Authenticity involves following your bliss, and doing that which brings Joy to your heart.  Let go of any desire to play a role or attempt to fit other people’s expectations.  It is not about being black or white (male or female), but about showing your true colors!

Blessings on your journey of Love      🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Time is of the Essence

There is no time like the present!  In fact there is no time but the present.  Are you listening?  The present time is the only time that exists, so are you making use of your time?  Transition is one of those things that takes time.  The physical transition alone will take at least three years.  Hormones take that long to reach the peak effects even though changes will be occurring during the whole process. 

Planning your transition in advance has many advantages and can actually save you time in the long run.  The biggest mistake that people make when transitioning genders is to get into a hurry.  Don’t take my word for it, talk to others who have transitioned.  Relax, take a deep breath and let go for a minute.  Do an evaluation of where you are right now.  If you are still questioning whether transitioning is right for you then I would highly recommend talking to a gender specialist.  Therapy can help you go deeper into who you are and the path that you have chosen. 

Notice I said chosen, because your life’s journey was chosen before you were born!  It is your job now to discover that path and follow it to the best of your ability.  This often takes on the appearance of you making a string of good decisions or possibly bad ones that lead you to where you are today.  Whether they are good or bad does not matter.  If you are a woman in a male body then it is best you do something about it.  The same goes for men in female bodies.  The sooner the better!  Let me stress that once more, THE SOONER THE BETTER.  Ask for help if you are having difficulty facing this. 

We now have children facing these issues at an ever increasing rate.  This is great because the transition can be made complete when puberty is guided in the appropriate direction.  The right way to do this does not exist as an absolute.  The path I recommend is to have the child evaluated and after they insist they are transgender for two years solid the next step is hormone suppression.  Put puberty on hold till they are sixteen or a legal adult and then they can make the proper decisions from there.  Allow gender expression that suits the individual, not that meets the expectation of society. 

I have a planning guide on my website that can be used to plan your transition.  Come up with a plan in advance.  Make sure you have money and maintain a source of income, because this gets expensive.  The electrolysis can be as expensive as the surgery so be aware of that.  The planning guide goes into specifics so I will not do so here. 

Be aware that time can be your friend when it is used as such.  Even if you have postponed this transition for many years, once you make the decision to transition, make a plan, and take one step at a time.  I wish you a blessed journey!

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MtoF Transtion and what to expect

The usual course of transition for a MtoF transsexual is to first dress as a woman and to socialize with your peers prior to taking the major step of CHT or Contra-Hormone Therapy.  This does not need to be on a full time basis, although it can be.  Socializing as a woman is very different than as a man so getting used to that aspect is greatly beneficial in both determining if you desire to progress and gaining the skills necessary to be successful.  Many things will come naturally for you such as mannerisms, emotional behavior including your needs and desires, and mental processes.  What may not be so natural is movement, social expectations and relationships.  Transition is basically the process of breaking down our learned “male” persona and allowing our natural female self to emerge.  This will be easier for some, but is a big road block for many of us. 

It is important to be patient with the transition process and allow these things to occur naturally, although counseling, feminine coaching, and voice therapy do play an important part.  A skilled counselor can guide your path and point out aspects that are not natural if they are not obvious and help you get in touch with your authentic self.  The feminine coach is valuable in helping you to get in touch with feminine energy and develop its expression.  I must say the first time I felt my feminine energy vs. my masculine energy it was a revelation!  Being aware of our body’s energy and what we are projecting is very important.  For women to truly be feminine for instance we do not project that energy, we simple center ourselves in it and this simple act will attract others to us.  I have posted a link on the gender links page of my website to The Yin Project; I highly recommend her. 

Voice therapy is very important also and I suggest that you start this process as soon as possible, even before transitioning if you are planning that far ahead, which most of us do not.  I also recommend getting electrolysis started as soon as possible and depending on your age, I recommend doing laser first to clear the dark hairs and let the electrologist focus on the light hairs.  Don’t let the electrologist tell you that laser is not permanent because I know that it is from experience.   I have a page on this website that goes over the whole process of transition planning, so I would like to stay focused here on what to expect.  So expect laser to work and with the proper hormone regimen the face is the only area to be concerned with unless you are unusually hairy and I know that some men are, that is OK (it doesn’t mean anything, unless you say it does, lol). 

The hormones do a remarkable job of reducing body hair and stopping male pattern hair loss.  Find a doctor who specializes in CHT for transgender/transsexual persons, because doing this yourself or using a doctor with little or no experience is setting yourself up for failure.  It can be done on your own, but that is contrary to what this whole journey is about in my opinion, which is to fully and completely experience the transition.  Many TG/TS’s want to jump straight to the result and if that was the way it was meant to be then don’t you think that you would have been female from birth?  I can hear all the opinions flying as I write this which is great, remember this is from my experience and if you desire a different experience then make it so.  More on this subject can be found here.   😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

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