Oneness Ministry

We are One

What do we really know about Gender?

What do we really know about gender?  It seems we know far more about physical sex since this is tangible.  Both Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation are constructions of the mind thus making them difficult to pin down.  It seems now they are not even “hardwired into the brain” as once believed.  (All thoughts come from the mind not the brain just in case you were unaware of this).  What makes us so malleable?  The old debate between Nature and Nurture seems to make vacillations from one to the other on a regular basis.  Perhaps it is neither!?!   This just came out and changes the game once again.

“A team of researchers successfully changed the gender in the brains of newborn rats from female to male, according to findings published this week in Nature Neuroscience. “Physically, these animals were females, but in their reproductive behavior, they were males,” Bridget Nugent, the lead author said…” (Reed, Carey 2015)

What does this mean to those who identify as Transgender?  This new finding would indicate that our status is the result of some chemical change presumably in the environment.  It is just as likely to occur after birth as before.  Perhaps it was the miscarriage drug given in the 50’s and 60’s, Diethylstilbestrol (DES) or perhaps it is in the food we eat.  Soy is now found in much of our foods especially since many children are lactose intolerant now and use soy as an alternative.  (I have personally felt the effects of phytoestrogens from foods like soy and flax).  There are many other sources of estrogen in the environment and it would follow that there are estrogen inhibitors also.  This would explain the gender incongruences and dysphoria’s that some experience throughout their lives.

Even sexual orientation is affected by the hormones running through our bodies.  Before starting hormone therapy I was curious about sex with men but had never been driven to seek out sex with them.  I was more stimulated by women.  After taking estrogen for some time my desires shifted to men and at the peak of treatment with a high dose I was passionate about it.  Now that I have no testosterone and take no estrogen (levels normal for a female of my age) I don’t really have any sexual drive.  The conclusion I would draw from my experience is that our hormones are behind our sexual drive and perhaps even our sexual orientation.

The question then is perhaps instead of using Contra-hormone therapy to treat Gender Dysphoria or Incongruency a neuter approach is more appropriate.  I am sure this would depend on the age of the individual and their desired outcome, but having no sex drive seems more desirable than one which drives you crazy (personal opinion).  This is not about sexual reproduction, because we already have far more people in this world than can be easily sustained and we certainly don’t need more egos running around!

Concerning gender identity the jury is still out.  It does seem that it is also malleable and if you want to be a girl or a boy that option exists.  My question would be Why?  Why do you feel wrong in your body?  Do you really even have a body?  Perhaps this is all just an insane delusion after all!  Question Everything!

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity

 

 

 

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Polarity Speaking

Relationships can be complex with all the drama, expectations, and emotional turmoil involved, however they don’t need to be.  Simplicity is a welcome approach in all your best relationships. Sometimes we need the drama in order to work out karma and to get to know ourselves better, so these relationships usually happen early on in life.  The quicker you learn your lessons the less you need the complex relationships.

Each person has many facets to their being and we are here today to discuss the sexual aspect.  “The second chakra is the sacral chakra associated with sensual movement and with sexuality. The information contained in the second chakra relates to relationship, emotions, intimacy, sexuality, creativity, work and money.” (Candess, 2014)

One part of sexuality is attraction; some call this sexual orientation, although we are going to be a little more specific.  Polarity is “the state of having two opposite or contradictory tendencies, opinions, or aspects. The polarity between male and female” (Google, 2014) What we are speaking about today is the energy between us which we either find attractive or repulsive just like in a magnet.

Each person generates their own magnetic field which fluctuates over time and some can see this as their aura.  This can get a bit complicated so no worries if you don’t get it all first time through.  I am also not going to get terribly deep with this, so if you need to go deeper I suggest doing your research, meditating on Polarity, and experimenting with these principles.

Have you ever been with someone who you were intensely attracted to, who just ‘turned you on’ by being around them?  This is what I am talking about and I call this polarity.  If not, then perhaps you have negative polarity or your system just needs to be charged.  If you remember from high school, magnets are either (+) or (-) charged and attract their opposites.  On the human scale feminine is (-) and masculine (+).  Notice I did not say male or female here because sometimes males are (-) and females (+), we call this transgender.  Transgender also is often neutral or neuter in sexual terms.

So you can see the bit about sexual orientation is off base here, because this is set at birth.  You are attracted to opposite, same sex or somewhere in between and this is hard wired and cannot be changed.  What can be changed is your polarity!  Those who are good at this are bisexual or pansexual as I prefer to call them.  Bisexual as a word is deceptive because it implies only two sexes and as we all know by now that sex and gender are spectrums or scales, not either/or.

Polarity is really simple for heterosexuals because they are strongly charged and usually specifically attracted to certain people and as the scale shifts it gets more complicated in the middle and less complicated again on the other end of the spectrum at homosexual.  Remember that Gender, Sexual Orientation, and Polarity are separate aspects of second charka energy.  Where this becomes really important to understand is for the transgender person or Gender Queer who can find this very confusing.  It has taken me years to understand it!

What makes this information valuable is if you are neutral, potential does not exist for you.  Think in terms of electricity and magnets.  If your polarity is neutral you neither attract nor repel, so in relationships this negates any possibility for sexual attraction.  On the orientation scale this would be asexual.  So what I am saying is without potential, no work gets done.  This aspect of your life remains idle.  Sexual energy transfer is how we charge the system (by having sex).  Being charged up gives us energy and purpose driving our actions.  The masculine shares physical energy in this transfer and the feminine shares mental and emotional energy so if you have one in excess or deficiency this will drive your attraction toward those who can balance your energy.  A person can be strongly charged and still in balance which is the goal here I suppose.  Meaning you have an abundance of all three energies.

Test these concepts as I present them here and see for yourself how they are true for you.  I share from my own experience and understanding and certainly do not claim to know all.  I do find this fascinating though and encourage others to get to know themselves better also.

The question for me arises; did I transition to balance my energy?  Being male born and attracted to neither sex, I first was attracted to females (with some mental coercion from my psyche as to what is proper) and then later to males (so again the psyche pushed me to be of opposite sex).  As it ends up I identify as Pansexual, but then identity is just your perception of reality (if there really is one)!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity   For more on this topic read Sex and Sexuality

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Celebrating Diversity Revisited

Transitions Blog is meandering along and in keeping with topics related to Gender and Sex I am re-posting a blog from 2010.  It is fairly basic, but I bet many of you have not thought of sexual orientation as I present it here.  Thanks for reading and please share your ideas for new topics.

Sexual expression comes in many different flavors, and is possibly as unique as the number of people on our beautiful blue planet.   The old school wants us to conform to the old ‘boy meets girl, girl has baby’ scenario and while that does serve its purpose as a race we are moving beyond that.  Relationships are so much more than adding one more baby to the rising population, or even the aspect of replacing the self.  The world may appear to be a binary system with only men and women, but I can assure you it is not.

Sexual orientation is an aspect of gender that Dr. Carl Bushong describes as “Brain Sex”.  “Our love/sex patterns, and how we relate to others on a social and interpersonal as well as sexual level, often referred to as our “Sexual Orientation”.” (1995) This aspect, like gender identity, is hard wired from birth, which means our brains, being much like a computer, are programmed to be attracted to certain physical attributes, genders and personalities.

To restrict every person on the planet, all 6.8 Billion +, to being either heterosexual or homosexual is unrealistic.  Instead it is much more feasible that each person on earth has their own unique sexuality which falls into several categories.  The categories as they exist today are, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, and pansexual.  There are a few other words being used but overlap these so I will stick with this list.  Within each category will be a sliding scale so that each person falls somewhere on the scale and is not necessary stuck exactly in that spot, although they will stay within a category.

Just briefly hetero means opposite sex attraction, homo means same sex attraction, The (a) in asexual means no sexual attraction, The (bi) in bisexual means both sexual attraction, and the (pan) in pansexual means all sexual attraction.  I do not like the term bisexual because it implies there are only two sexes, male and female.  This is the old world paradigm and no longer works (if it ever worked).  Pansexual includes everyone and applies to anyone that is sexual but not strictly attracted to the opposite or same sex.  This term is far more appropriate in today’s society.

The whole labeling game gets a little absurd after a while because the terms become contradictory and putting people into boxes is both confining and inaccurate. For instance, a transwoman who is attracted to women is lesbian or are they heterosexual since they were born into a male body?  And what about the woman who was attracted to this person not realizing they were transgender?  Does that make them a lesbian?  So what if it does?

The world is coming out!  We are becoming more aware of gender identity and sexual orientation, which is leading to more understanding and eventually to more acceptance.  I ask only that you stay away from the labels as much as possible and simply love the person.  This is why I like the Pansexual label best because it is defined as “A sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.” (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexuality#English, 2010)

Who you are attracted to should not be grounds for discrimination. (In reality there are no grounds for discrimination) Could you imagine if the world judged you on the grounds of your attraction to hair color?  “Oh you like redheads, uggg or ewww”!   Actually Blondes often get joked about and while it may be in fun, it is only fun to the person joking.  Sexual orientation is just another of many category’s that are used to separate or define humans.  Being unique is a gift, and it makes us lovable and desirable.  Just think of a rare diamond or rare flower.  Uniqueness is a desirable trait in our society, so why not extend that to your relationships.  Celebrate differences and LOVE the person – stop separating!  We are One – one big family of Human.  Love the One your with!

😀 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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What Is Gender, Part II

 

Continuing with our look at What Gender is let us consider it more specifically.  Gender Identity is a person’s innate sense of being masculine or feminine, which cannot be determined until the person is at least 3 years old and often it is 5-6 years of age before anyone is able to know the true gender.  Since gender is an inner knowing of the individual no other person is able to determine the gender.  It is up to the child to express their gender when they learn to speak.  The Native Americans knew this and would not name their child until they were 4-6 years old in order to allow them to express their gender identity and find their place in the tribe.  A baby name or generic name was used up until this time and often the naming involved the entire family including the child and sometimes the tribe.  Once their name was given the person wore it like a badge of honor, because it reflected their very nature, their Great Spirit.

 

Context of usage is very important and I would like to clarify this right here.  What I have described here is Gender Identity, what the parents are told at birth is the physical sex, how the person dresses is the gender expression and how this person acts in society is the gender role they are playing.  So you must see the context of the word usage before you can understand which gender is being referred to.  As I pointed out before the word sex has many uses so be sure to determine the context in which it is being used.

 

A vision of society I would like you to embrace is the Native American idea of allowing the child to choose, and get away from using physical sex to describe a child – most children as I stated above have no gender till they are 3-6 years old.  As a parent, how do you know it is a boy or a girl?  Fortunately the children being born today are more aware than ever before and they are expressing their gender identity at a very early age.  Many parents understand this and respect their child, however others do not, so we each can help by raising the general knowledge of Gender and what that word means.  I would love to see a society that reflects the wisdom of our ancient peoples by honoring gender identity and not assigning gender roles, instead allowing the child to choose the role that fits them.

 

A few words about the differences of gender role and gender expression, while they are similar they are different in that gender expression is about outer appearance and gender role is activity.  So wearing make-up and female clothes is a female gender expression, while a female gender role would be cleaning house and babysitting.  I hesitate to include this here as our roles and expressions are getting to be so varied and free.  The old rules are breaking down, so we are seeing women in active military duty now while 20 years ago this was almost unheard of and men are cleaning house, washing dishes, and babysitting.  The best way to put this is man and women are integrating now as a society and our roles and gender expressions are so much more open.  New gender roles and expressions are emerging with each new soul born.

 

 

 

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

 

Unity in Gender Diversity     FREE eBooks! Click Here

 

 

 

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What Is Gender, Part I

What is gender and why do I care?  Most people in society go about their business and never give their gender a second thought; however, I have a light to shine on this subject so we can all have a deeper understanding of who we are and why this is important.  Every day we interact with any number of individuals and with repeat interactions we can say we know a person.  The level of interaction will vary in importance and significance to us.  This aspect of our being called ‘gender’ is actually an important function of how we react to others and how they treat us.

Of course gender is just one aspect of our nature, we have many others including but not limited to, personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, physical attractiveness, body habitus, sexual orientation, intelligence, common sense, and self-actualization.  When we meet someone new a few of the first things we notice are the persons size, gender, attractiveness, and how comfortable they are with themselves.  The package you present is a total summation of your nature and nurture.  So some aspects are a gift from birth and others are learned along the way.  The innate ones such as size, gender, sexual orientation, common sense, and physical attractiveness (for the most part) we must do our best to live with.  This means personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, body habitus, intelligence, and self-actualization are learned.  These are attributes of our nature that we have somewhat of control over.  Gender falls in the attributes that are innate meaning we are born with our gender and we cannot change this.

If we look a bit closer we see that there are different aspects of gender that are important to our understanding, such as gender identity, gender expression, gender role, and physical sex.  One of the challenges we have today is the popular confusion of gender and sex which are often used interchangeably.  If nothing else I would like you to come away from this blog with an understanding of the differences of these two words.  Sex is a word which has many usages and thus the confusion creeps in.  In Dictionary.com thirteen different definitions come up with this simple 3 letter word, so I will not get into every definition here.  When we are born the first thing the parents want to know is, “is the child a boy or a girl” and in this case we are talking about physical sex not gender identity or even gender role.  Our physical sex is determined by the physical body parts we are given at birth, but with today’s new surgical techniques this can be changed if need be.  Is a woman who has had a complete hysterectomy still a woman?  Is this person still female?  What factor is it that makes a person male or female?  What makes a person man or woman?  Where does gender fit in?

More next time as we explore gender identity and what it means to each of us.

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     FREE eBooks! Click Here

 

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Sequoia’s Wisdom Part 2

It is time for us to dive a little deeper and address gender identity and sexual orientation. This is a continuation from yesterday’s blog, so here we go.

“I am a spiritual being having a human experience”.  It behooves you to keep this in mind along the way.  Do spiritual beings have gender?  Per Buddhists teachings, all attachments lead to pain, so since we are in a body and “have” a life – pain is inevitable.  However suffering only occurs when you hold on, resist, or ignore the signs/messages.  Pain is a messenger!   It means something, and it is up to you to figure it out.  If you need help with this many others are available to help.  When you listen to your guidance you find the answers you seek.  Life is like a game of connect the dots.  You move from one dot/spot/experience to the next like a string of moments and it all adds up to your life.  Being attached to gender identity or any identity can be painful!

Gender Identity is your personal sense of who you are, man, woman, or other.  It is in your mind and relatively fixed, however the brain has little to do with this contrary to what many think.  Nor does any physical body part!  The body is simply an effect of previous thoughts.  The DNA is a code for encrypting these thoughts which have been decided long before you are born.  This slide show explains it further, but keep in mind this was made a few years ago and my understanding has advanced since then.  It includes scientific information which is dated.  Click here to view.

I wish I could explain self-identity fully (gender and sexual orientation are aspects) but it has taken me years and many books to figure this much out.  I am still working on it.  My advice to you is to ask questions and above all listen.  Here are three authors who can help, Tom Youngholm, Neale Donald Walsch, and Dr. Michael Newton.

The secret to understanding Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation is to understand the Divine Plan.  It is bigger than you are and so it is unlikely that you will fully understand it in this lifetime.  Suffice it to know that everything is connected – literally.  Man is a part of Woman who is a part of Animal who is a part of Plant, Mineral, and Stars.  The web is multilayered, all reaching, and complex.  The Divine Paradox of life is complex beyond comprehension and yet as simple as One (1).  Thus computer language is a series of (1’s) and (0’s).

Man’s taboos, social norms, and societal behaviors are all “make-believe”.  You can do whatever you choose, however there are consequences.  Not because there is good or bad, but because of Universal Law and even this is not fixed, all you need do is go beyond this Universe.  Gender is a human experience and a man-made condition of this world.  How you experience this is up to you.  I encourage you to explore, but be careful because everything you do affects another.  (Remember this is not good or bad)  Even choosing to “do nothing” has effects.  Can you imagine life without gender?

Sexual Orientation is another aspect of the human experience, nothing more, nothing less.  Because of soul contracts made before you were born you have certain proclivities, although it is not fixed per se.  It is my belief that everyone is basically neutral or if you prefer bi-sexual (given you believe only two sexes exist).  I like the term Pansexual, meaning you are attracted to all sexes per personality coupled with appearance and not sexual body parts.  Personally I have been attracted to many different people at different times of my life depending on who I am with, how I feel, and the situation.  Bottom line, sex is an expression of love or at least it is supposed to be.  It can also simply be a biological function when existing in lower forms.  The animal human is designed to encourage sex on a basic level; however it is possible to move beyond these urges and in fact evolution requires it.  The pleasure derived from sexual encounter may be used on the path to God as the Kama Sutra teaches.  The intention behind the sexual encounter becomes paramount.  Sex for the sake of sex or to reproduce is one thing, but sex for the purpose of obtaining higher states of being is something altogether different and can be attained with either a same sex or opposite sex partner.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Transgender and The Age of Aquarius

This blog is about terminology, identity, and transition.  The entire world is in Transition in many ways, so it is time we revisited Transgender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation so that everyone understands the meaning of certain words and concepts that put life into perspective.  First and foremost it is important to understand that gender and sex are different things and have multiple meanings.

Gender is your self-concept of who you are man, woman, transgender, androgynous or other.  Each individual is born with this, but is not aware of it till the ages of 3-6.  If a discrepancy is perceived then this awareness is often suppressed or denied, however this is now changing, children are coming out and telling parents who are actually respecting their concerns.

Cisgender is a term that specifically means “not-transgender”, and is used to mean genetic girl (GG) or genetic boy (GB), a person with a matching gender identity and physical sex who has never questioned their gender.  Since transgender persons have a label we feel it only fair for others to have one too.

Transgender is a person appearing or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser.  This term is an umbrella term to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis.  For more on terminology I cover it extensively at this link.

Sexual Orientation is also hard wired at birth and does not change, although many people now days are bisexual or pansexual meaning they are open to the individual’s personality and not so concerned with physical sex.  A homosexual is attracted to their same sex and will not consider being with the opposite sex, just as a heterosexual is only interested in the opposite sex.  With Transgender individuals these definitions get blurry, so it is up to the individual to identify.  Make no assumptions because each person is different and may change their mind from time to time, especially if they are young and exploring.  The term sex can also mean physical or biological sex, amongst other things.

Mass consciousness is shifting due to the era we are entering, The Age of Aquarius. The traits of the Aquarian Age person is that of being bisexual (pansexual) and androgynous which explains much of the trans-revolution we are experiencing today!   We are moving from the end of the Piscean era (money, power, and control) to the new era of Aquarian.  I have spoken of this in other blogs and find that this explains much of what I have been experiencing.  (A great article that explains the shift from Pisces to Aquarius is found at this link.)

Does this mean I was not to transition?  Of course not!  This is the purpose of these times and my life is a mirror of the greater whole just as your life is!  Your path is up to you and if you have questions I am happy to assist!  Please visit the website below and explore the Gender Learning Center.  It goes into gender at length as well as sexual orientation and the different aspects of each of these.  The eBook “Sex and Sexuality” is available free on this website and is an extensive look at gender, sex, orientation, sexuality, and more.  The website below lists gender and spiritual information in several formats -video, powerpoint, written, quiz, and eBook, so you can find what works best for your learning method.

The first step in loving someone is not judging them, and seeing beyond the outer appearance.  The second step is getting to know them and the third is following your heart to a deep friendship or more relationship.  It is time we let go of money, power, and control and embrace love, unity, brotherhood, and integrity.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

 

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Man, I Feel Like a Woman

Do you feel like a man or like a woman?  What is a certain gender supposed to feel like?  How do you know?  I realize that most cisgender people have not considered these questions, but for a transgender or transsexual individual it is of constant concern.  Gender incongruency is something ~98% of the population can’t even fathom.  Consider the possibility the concept of gender as taught in the schools is inaccurate?

First understand the difference between sex and gender.  Sex is determined by the parts between the legs and gender is determined by the parts between the ears.  At least this is the modern or current understanding by science. Consider the possibility that each person is here in this world for a purpose and they have chosen the roles they are to live before they are even born.

What if in fact gender is determined by consciousness, the Source Field which surrounds the body and makes up everything in this world?  What if no one has a gender until they acquire one?  Much like sexual orientation it must be discovered by the individual.  I cannot tell my brother that he is gay or straight or if he is man or woman.  These are things he must discover.  Life is a discovery!  And we are explorers.

The prevalent teaching about God, Great Spirit, Universal Mind, Infinite Intelligence (or whatever you choose to call this energy) is that it has no sex or gender.  Eastern philosophies have known this for centuries and slowly the western philosophies are accepting that God is not a man sitting on a throne up in heaven.  Our philosophies are merging, especially here in the USA where we are surrounded by both all the time.  A new understanding is emerging and I call it Oneness.  We are all One.

The idea I present here today is that God is all there is and since God is all, so are we.  This means that no one has a gender or a sex in reality!  Those things only exist in the reality we call life on earth.  We are indeed all androgynous beings of light!  You may have seen this image presented before as alien life, for instance in the movie Cocoon (1985) or in episodes of Star Trek and in multiple instances in the media.  Everything is energy.

I mention the idea of androgyny here because I feel this is the truth of nature.  I believe that hetero and homo sexuality are creations of the human mind or the mind of man.  This goes for the concept of man or woman also.  How do you know what a man or woman feels like?  You do not know any more than anyone else does!  Just because you seem to have been born male or female does not mean you know what a man or woman feels like. It is what you say it is.

The core of our being is pansexual androgyny, meaning we are characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.  And we are neither men nor women, but a combination of both to varying degrees across a spectrum.  In some individuals this can shift back and forth as well.  You will define it as is comfortable for you.

In the end you feel like YOU.  Accept this feeling and get comfortable with it; it is all you will ever have in this lifetime.  No matter what you change on the outside, the inner core remains the same.  The experience will change as this is the point of the material world.  Enjoy the ride, act with authenticity, and live with pride!  This is your role in life and it is mine.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity    Free eBooks

 

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Sex and Sexuality Revisited

Transitions blog offers a reminder today about an eBook available at no cost on this website.  Sex and Sexuality, One Woman’s Journey of Discovery is a part of Unity in Gender Diversity’s growing set of spiritual materials.  It is about using sex, sexuality, gender and the attractive aspects of self to discover Truth.  Hormones, Gender Identity, Sexual Orientation, Jesus Christ, and Relationships are among other aspects explored in an effort to deepen human understanding.  The author’s own personal story is offered as an example of what the transgender journey consists of, because I find that by sharing stories we get a deeper understanding of each other.  This book is designed to inspire a closer look at who you really are.  The significance of all relationships, as well as the meaning of sexuality, and so much more are discovered.   I invite you to take a journey of discovery!

The eBook is directed to those who are ready to move beyond the body and realize Divine nature, although anyone can come away from reading this a more educated, entertained, and enlightened individual.

Features to consider are: It is an eBook, easy to download, short and easy to read in a few hours, wastes no paper (easily printable), chapters are linked, direct links to website, No Cost and it is instantly available for download in PDF.

The benefits you receive by reading it: A transgender story to relate with, offers great pictures and graphics in color, learn about the transgender journey, understand your body better, get to know your inner-self better, become a better person, enjoy sex more, not just sex but the entire relationship, improve all your relationships!

Please share Sex and Sexuality, One Woman’s Journey of Discovery with anyone you think would benefit from this eBook.  It is a great way to educate friends, family or employers to the Transgender Journey.  Use it as a coming out tool.  Ultimately it is about Love – loving yourself by allowing others to love you!!  For more on Love please read the other eBooks offered.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Variety Is The Spice Of Life

Perspective is as diverse as the observer.  Each individual is unique on to themself.  And with that said consciousness also tends to group with like perspectives attracting like.  Thus we have Tennis Clubs, Christian bookstores, and Alcoholics Anonymous.  Gender and Sexuality are no different.  Those of like mind tend to socialize together with each person adding their own unique perspective.

Gender Identity is one’s own personal, inner perspective of who they are in terms of gender, i.e. man, woman, or other.  Gender is best described as a spectrum or scale.  Just as a rainbow has many colors, shades and grades so does gender.  This also works for sexual orientation, while physical sex is more concrete, however even this is a spectrum too.  Human beings are complex creatures indeed!

When a child is born the doctor looks between the legs and declares male, female or gee I don’t know!  It is not till DNA chromosome and other medical testing is done does the doctor know if the child is truly male, female or intersex.  The external genitalia are sometimes ambiguous, or not fully developed.  The genetic, physical and mental traits this child is born with are the filter through which they see the world – their perspective!  As this child grows into adulthood the filter is constantly being shaped and polished by the world.  The amazing fact is that it is less the world outside this person that shapes them than it is the individual’s responses, reactions, and thoughts.

The important factor to understand and always remember is that each person is individual and offers something unique to every situation.  It is your job as an individual to listen and learn who this person is and then honor them for the uniqueness they represent.  Accept them for their perspective and refrain from pushing yours on them.  This is a free will society so you are certainly free to offer your perspective and in fact you are obligated to do so, however whether and what others do with this perspective is entirely up to them.

Some may see you as a crossdressing gay male, others as transgender woman, all while you identify as a transsexual.  Others may simply think that you are crazy.  Each person will see you as they choose and understand.  This does not change who you are, although it may have you questioning who you are, which is a good thing, because part of the human experience is constantly questioning reality.

One last point here is groups that think alike can sometimes have beliefs that seem opposed to other groups.  If some believe that chromosomes and genitalia determine a person’s gender then it is their right to believe that.  It is other group’s obligation to share their perspective so that each individual can more intelligently determine which group they are aligned with.  This is not about right or wrong, because that does not exist.  It is about expressing individual uniqueness in a way that is constructive to the greater whole of society and life on earth.  We all know that variety is the spice of life!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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The Gender Sexual Connection

Sex: The physical sexual organs, what is between the legs. This can change due to sexual reassignment surgery; includes male, female and intersex.

Gender: Separate and different from an individual‘s physical sex or sexual orientation (hetero, homo, bi, or asexual), it is an individual‘s perception of the inner self as man, woman or some combination of both, transgender.

Operating from the above definitions we now know that gender and sex are very different and yet from experience we also know that they are intimately connected.  How do we work out this connection?  Is it meaningful?

Sexual Orientation is the trait we give the most attention because it involves others.  Who are you attracted to?  Why?  Does gender really have anything to do with this attraction?  How important is appearance?  What about body parts?  Some people are turned on by toes and if this is the case does it matter what is between their legs?   What if ears are a turn on, the same question applies.  You are probably saying that what it leads to is very important and this is where the genitalia come in.  I agree completely.

In the transgender world we offer a contradiction to this process.  Our parts do not match the majority of the human race.  So do we have GRS to conform or is it more practical than that, simply to enjoy sex in a manner which supports our mental functions?  Many transgender women have surgery just because they cannot bear having male genitalia.  It is like having a large growth on your body which causes you distress.  It could just as well be a tumorous growth!  In this case having surgery is medically necessary, as much as any person with a tumorous growth.  When the result is a happy well adjusted individual post op it is hard to argue against GRS/SRS.

“As an effective treatment for a specific mental disorder, sex reassignment surgery is as deserving of public funding as any other psychiatric treatment.” states Dr. Ray Blanchard, head of the Clinical Sexology Program at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. (Egale Canada ©2011)

“The reported 68%-86% overall success rates for sex reassignment surgery must be viewed cautiously; the lack of long-term follow-up studies makes these statistics misleading. There is evidence suggesting that some gender dysphoric patients benefit primarily from sex reassignment surgery. Most such patients, however, are secondary transsexuals who can benefit from various modes of psychotherapy. Sex reassignment surgery should only be considered as the last resort for a highly select group of diagnosed gender dysphoric patients. As physicians learn new ways to diagnose and treat transsexualism, either sex reassignment surgery will be abandoned as a routine treatment modality or new predictive variables for choosing suitable patients for sex reassignment surgery will be established.” (Lothstein, Am J Psychiatry 1982; 139:417-426)  The above quote is a bit out dated now and this author finds it interesting that its prediction is far from correct.  SRS has grown in popularity as surgical techniques have been perfected.  It is now the best treatment known for severe gender dysphoria.  The question remains, what if the dysphoria is mild?  What constitutes mild?   This is between the patient and their counselor or therapist.

The final point or question I wish to raise is, does sexual orientation figure into ones decision to have surgery or not?  From the clinical perspective, the answer would be no.  Dysphoria is separate from sexual behavior and needs to be treated regardless of sexual orientation.  The practical side of the issue is a personal one.  Transsexuals often start off in same sex relationships and to have surgery would destroy the identities associated with the relationship, so unless both individuals are flexible the relationship ends.  This is even the case in heterosexual relationships since it would be homosexual after surgery.  Those relationships that do survive often forgo sex altogether.

One of the most difficult aspects of the transgender journey is relationships and the changes they must go through along the way.  The losses are often heart breaking, but this is not necessarily a bad thing.  It can lead to more loving and authentic relationships!  The road has many potholes, so it is best to proceed with caution.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Destiny Fulfilled

This blog is a continuation of the previous blog titled Destiny.  Gender transition is not a conscious choice like most people think of it and neither is homosexuality, pedophilia, autism or any other condition.  These are choices made before birth that must manifest and be worked through.  It takes your entire life to fully experience these gifts and they affect everyone you meet, even if only for a few minutes.  The affect can be positive or negative, that is up to the individual you meet.  If you are positive and giving of your talents, then the meeting will be positive.  All Universal Laws apply! 

The message I wish to convey in this blog is a continuation of the previous blog and it is very simple.  Even though transgender is a choice before birth, it is not something that can be ignored.  It cannot be made to “go away”, it is not something to “cure” and it is not a disease!  Gender Identity is what it is and the hard part is that it is not listed on your birth certificate or in any way known to anyone at birth. 

Gender identity must be discovered over time and with introspection.  The child of 3-6 years old can usually tell others what it is, and sometimes if ignored must be rediscovered later in life, usually at puberty or much later in life.  Most children have a gender identity that matches their physical sex, so gender is often over looked or just assumed.  However in about 3% of the population the gender identity and physical sex do not match as in my case. 

I was too scared and confused to know what was going on, so the issue was not addressed.  My life was in full swing by the time I figured it out as a senior in high school, so I ignored the feelings and sometimes overwhelming urge to express my feminine nature.  To release this energy I crossdressed for 30 years and finally I faced the feelings I was having and transitioned.  It was not something that I could ignore.  It is not a choice, because the choice was made long before birth.  Please understand this when you are dealing with anyone who is coping with this condition.

Transgender, and any other condition as mentioned above affect the whole family and each person involved in this person’s life.  So the one’s closest to this individual must transition along with the transgender individual.  This is often a soul agreement made before birth as mentioned in the last blog.  The opportunity for growth here is phenomenal and must not be ignored.  This is a divine gift!  Embrace it and work it out with everyone you love.  Be not afraid to be yourself!  As hard as it may seem the rewards are worth every effort filled, painful and joyful moment.  Remember one thing above all else, Love is the way…

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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Destiny

A little known fact is that your brain is wired from birth with gender identity and sexual orientation, among many other traits.  Just as a computer is programmed to operate in a certain way, so are you.  The operating system works right out of the box, just as your human traits are pre-programmed.  Just because these things are pre-programmed does not mean they are set in stone.  The program is changeable!

What is not discussed or taught in schools today is that you programmed yourself before you were born.  The reason this is not taught is because it is not provable, but then many aspects of life are taken on faith, so I am not asking you to believe this, just consider the possibility and do your research.   (I have found many sources to confirm this wisdom)

Everything happens for a reason, even chaos!  Random events are an illusion much like a slight of hand trick done by a magician.  Consider the possibility that your gender identity and sexual orientation where chosen before you were born when you made certain agreements with other souls such as your parents, partner, and siblings.  Each person will have different agreements and it is not important to know what exactly they are till the moment you honor them. 

By listening to your inner voice these agreements are honored often without your conscious knowledge.  I don’t buy the story offered by the Buddhists that transgender is the result of past transgressions, in the form of Karma, although if that works for you then it can be one explanation. 

I believe we choose to be transgender so that we can experience both worlds and possibly transcend gender all together.  Our souls are genderless and sexless just as Prime Creator.  This is the reason that many Native tribal cultures honor transgender or two-spirits as Shaman and esteemed members of the tribe.  They have a close connection to spirit!  Each person is growing Spiritually through the events of their lives here in the 3rd dimension.  The challenges we choose before birth are the stairs so to speak that raise us to the next level!   

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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Are You Man Or Woman?

Do you feel like a man or like a woman?  What is a certain gender supposed to feel like?  How do you know?  I realize that most cisgender people have not considered these questions, but for a transgender or transsexual individual it is of constant concern.  Gender incongruency is something that ~98% of the population can’t even fathom.  What if the concept of gender as taught in the schools the last 100 years is inaccurate?

First understand the difference between sex and gender.  Sex is determined by the parts between the legs and gender is determined by the parts between the ears.  At least this is the modern or current understanding by science. Consider the possibility that each person is here in this reality for a purpose and they have chosen the roles they are to live before they are even born.

What if in fact gender is determined by consciousness, the field which surrounds the body and everything in creation.  What if no one is born with a gender and instead they acquire it.  Much like sexual orientation must be discovered by the individual.  I cannot tell my brother that he is gay or straight or if he is man or woman.  These are things he must discover.  Life is a discovery!  And we are explorers. 

The prevalent teaching about God or Great Spirit or Universal Mind or Infinite Intelligence (or whatever you choose to call this energy) is that it has no sex or gender.  Eastern philosophies have known this for centuries and in the past few centuries the western philosophies are accepting that God is not a man sitting on a throne up in heaven, some people more than others.  I do not have actual statistics on this, but from what I gather this concept is changing. 

The idea I present here today is that God is all there is and since God is all, so are we.  This means that no one has a gender or a sex in reality!  Those things only exist in this reality we call life on earth.  We are indeed all androgynous beings of light!  You may have seen this image presented before as alien life, for instance in the movie Cocoon (1985) or in episodes of Star Trek and in multiple instances in the media.  Everything is energy.

I mention the idea of androgyny here because I feel this is the truth of nature.  I believe that hetero and homo sexuality are creations of the human mind or the mind of man.  This goes for what makes up a man or woman, male or female also.  How do you know what a man or woman feels like?  You do not, anymore than anyone else does.  Just because you seem to have been born male or female does not mean you know what a man or woman feels like. It is what you say it is.

In the end you feel like YOU.  Accept this feeling and get comfortable with it; it is all you will ever have in this lifetime.  No matter what you change on the outside, the inner core remains the same.  The experience will change and this is the point of the material world anyway.  Enjoy the ride and only act with authenticity in your life.  Live with pride!  This is your role in life and it is mine.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Celebrate Diversity

Sexual expression comes in many different flavors, and is possibly as unique as the number of people on our beautiful blue planet.   The old school wants us to conform to the old ‘boy meets girl, girl has baby’ scenario and while that does serve its purpose as a race we are moving beyond that.  Relationships are so much more than adding one more baby to the rising population, or even the aspect of replacing the self.  The world may appear to be a binary system with only men and women, but I can assure you it is not. 

Sexual orientation is an aspect of gender that Dr. Carl Bushong describes as “Brain Sex”.  “Our love/sex patterns, and how we relate to others on a social and interpersonal as well as sexual level, often referred to as our “Sexual Orientation”.” (1995) This aspect, like gender identity, is hard wired from birth, which means our brains, being much like a computer, are programmed to be attracted to certain physical attributes, genders and personalities. 

To restrict every person on the planet, all 6.8 Billion +, to being either heterosexual or homosexual is unrealistic.  Instead it is much more feasible that each person on earth has their own unique sexuality which falls into several categories.  The categories as they exist today are, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, and pansexual.  There are a few other words being used but overlap these so I will stick with this list.  Within each category will be a sliding scale so that each person falls somewhere on the scale and is not necessary stuck exactly in that spot, although they will stay within a category. 

Just briefly hetero means opposite sex attraction, homo means same sex attraction, the (a) in asexual means no sexual attraction, the (bi) in bisexual means both sexual attraction, and the (pan) in pansexual means all sexual attraction.  I do not like the term bisexual because it implies there are only two sexes, male and female.  This is the old world paradigm and no longer works (if it ever worked).  Pansexual includes everyone and applies to anyone that is sexual but not strictly attracted to the opposite or same sex.  This term is far more appropriate in today’s society. 

The whole labeling game gets a little absurd after a while because the terms become contradictory and putting people into boxes is both confining and inaccurate. For instance, a transwoman who is attracted to women is lesbian or are they heterosexual since they were born into a male body?  And what about the woman who was attracted to this person not realizing they were transgender?  Does that make them a lesbian?  So what if it does? 

The world is coming out!  We are becoming more aware of gender identity and sexual orientation, which is leading to more understanding and eventually to more acceptance.  I ask only that you stay away from the labels as much as possible and simply love the person.  This is why I like the Pansexual label best because it is defined as “A sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.” (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexuality#English, 2010)

Who you are attracted to should not be grounds for discrimination. (In reality there are no grounds for discrimination) Could you imagine if the world judged you on the grounds of your attraction to hair color?  “Oh you like redheads, uggg or ewww”!   Actually Blondes often get joked about and while it may be in fun, it is only fun to the person joking.  Sexual orientation is just another of many category’s that are used to separate or define humans.  Being unique is a gift, and it makes us lovable and desirable.  Just think of a rare diamond or rare flower.  Uniqueness is a desirable trait in our society, so why not extend that to your relationships.  Celebrate differences and LOVE the person – stop separating!  We are One – one big family of Human. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Possible Challenges

The most difficult aspect of transition is probably going to be different for each person, however I will attempt to make a few generalizations here so that you will be aware of possible challenges along the road.   If you have an insight into possible challenges in transition feel free to comment below. 

The transition from one sex to the other can be a very emotional one fraught with trials and tribulations. Or it can be a simple process of shifting the physical body to better represent the inner gender identity.  It is important to realize here that gender is fixed in your brain before you are born.  The physical sex appears to be fixed but in fact can be altered to match the gender identity fairly easily. 

What happens to most transgender individuals is that they are conditioned by society to conform to the role determined by the organs between their legs.  Sex organs are for two purposes, procreation and enjoyment.  It is no accident that procreation is fun.  This assures the perpetuation of the species.  Whoopee 😉  The mental aspects of sexual attraction and role play are complex.  Sexual orientation like gender identity is fixed at birth, so it is the melding of society’s views with personal views that make this complex. 

The transition journey is one of releasing society’s views and living an authentic life which is true to your inner feelings and identity.  This begins with acceptance of both yourself and others.  If someone no longer wishes to be your friend then allow them that space and focus on accepting your natural self. 

In order to replace a glass of orange juice with apple juice you must first empty out all the orange juice.  This process creates a void which is to be filled by the apple juice.  The space is filled at all times, so as one leaves another fills the void.  Transition is much like this.  For a Male to Female transition as the male persona is released this creates a void for the natural persona to fill in.  Substituting another false persona, say of a certain female role is no better than the false male persona.  The point is to allow the natural persona to develop as it would have if the body parts had matched from birth. 

The best advice for allowing this process freedom to evolve is to let go and release any judgment.  Stop trying to please others and simply go with the flow.  Pay close attention to what brings you Joy.  This is best described as a feeling of contentment and gentle peace within your body, centered in your heart. 

For those with an overactive mind, release is a process of patience and persistence.  Make all thoughts OK while relaxing and focusing in the general moment.  If specific thoughts creep in and they likely will, consciously release them.  Say to yourself, “I release any thoughts of how my life should be.  I am open to my inner most gifts and allow them to express naturally.” 

I wish you Peace and Joy on your journey of Love.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Gender is a Rainbow

Are you man or woman? How about male or female? Just because you are male does that mean that you are a man?  What if you have female sexual organs but feel like neither a woman nor a man?  Who makes up these rules anyway?

Think of a scale with 0 being in the middle and 100% Male at one end and 100% female at the other.  Now stand in the middle and let go.  Which way do you move?  How far?  Are you in the same place as you were a year ago?  How about 20 years ago?

Gender Identity is your sense of being man, woman, neither or both.  It is a scale of masculinity and femininity which can only be determined by you and your feelings.  How do you feel compelled to express yourself?  Which roles are you most comfortable in?  If you were to ask these questions to every person in the world, you would likely get answers all over the scale with most being near the middle of each direction and only a few at each end, but more in the middle than at the ends.

 

Gender is a rainbow of identity and everyone falls somewhere on the scale, but not necessarily in congruence with your body.  Transgender individuals often fall within the middle 50% of the chart, but opposite of their birth sex.  A person who is right in the middle would be considered androgynous.

You may be asking, “This is all fine and dandy, but how does this affect me?”  This matters because it affects your relationships and how you relate to others.  The person you meet at work or at the mall may appear to be male or female but in fact be transgender.  Putting that person into a box is the temptation and often in our society it is the teaching.  What I am asking of you here is to see the rainbow and accept it.  We all are going to have a different gender identity so it only makes sense to honor the differences while seeing the similarities.  You have many ways of relating to this person and gender is but one.

See what you have in common with the person you are talking with, meeting for the first time, or sitting next to on the bus.  Our gender identity is expressed in the way we dress, talk, and act.  If this happens to be different than you, which most of the time it will be, accept them and find out who they are before putting them in a box or labeling them.

No matter what label or box they end up in make it OK and live by the golden rule.  Now that you understand gender apply the same guidelines to sexual orientation and please do not assume you know one or the other. Sexual Orientation has little to do with ones Gender Identity!

Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Sexual Orientation

Sexual expression comes in many different flavors, and is possibly as unique as the number of people on our beautiful blue planet.   The old school wants us to conform to the old ‘boy meets girl, girl has baby’ scenario and while that does serve its purpose as a race we are moving beyond that.  The world may appear to be a binary system with only men and women, but I can assure you it is not. 

Sexual orientation is an aspect of gender that Dr. Carl Bushong describes as “Brain Sex”.  ‘Our love/sex patterns, and how we relate to others on a social and interpersonal as well as sexual level, often referred to as our “Sexual Orientation”.’  (1995) This aspect, like gender identity, is hard wired from birth, which means our brains, being much like a computer, are programmed to be attracted to certain physical attributes, genders and personalities. 

To restrict every person on the planet, all 6.8 Billion +, to being either heterosexual or homosexual is unrealistic.  Instead it is much more feasible that each person on earth has their own unique sexuality which falls into several categories.  The categories as they exist today are, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, and pansexual.  There are a few other words being used but overlap these so I will stick with this list.  Within each category will be a sliding scale so that each person falls somewhere on the scale and is not necessary stuck exactly in that spot, although they will stay within a category. 

Just briefly hetero means opposite sex attraction, homo means same sex attraction, (a) means no sex attraction, (bi) means both sexual attraction, and pan means all sexual attraction.  I do not like the term bi sexual because it implies there are only two sexes, male and female.  This is the old world paradigm and no longer works (if it ever worked).  Pansexual includes everyone and applies to anyone that is sexual but not strictly attracted to the opposite or same sex. 

The whole labeling game gets a little absurd after a while because the terms become contradictory and putting people into boxes is both confining and inaccurate. For instance, a transwoman who is attracted to women is lesbian or are they heterosexual since they were born into a male body?  And what about the woman who was attracted to this person not realizing they were transgender?  Does that make them a lesbian?  So what if it does? 

The world is coming out!  We are becoming more aware of gender identity and sexual orientation, which is leading to more understanding and eventually to more acceptance.  I ask only that you stay away from the labels as much as possible and simply love the person.  This is why I like the Pansexual label best because it is defined as “A sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.” (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexuality#English 2010)

Who you are attracted to should not be grounds for discrimination.  Could you imagine if the world judged you on the grounds of your attraction to hair color?  “Oh you like redheads, uggg or ewww”!   Being gay or lesbian is no different since you have no business what they do behind closed doors.  LOVE the person and stop separating!  We are One, one big family of Human. 

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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