This post comes from my eBook Sex and Sexuality. I edited it out of the 2020 version because most of my friends now simply do not indulge in virtual reality. I have updated and expanded on it and post it here for posterity.
If you could have a chance to start your life over, would you? What if you could live all your dreams to the fullest without limitation? There is a virtual chat reality that can allow you to experience much of what you are too afraid to experience in “real” life. It is called SecondLife.com(SL). When I found SL in 2008 I thought to myself, “I can’t handle one life, what would I do with two?” Curiosity got the better of me though, so I checked it out and I was hooked immediately. There are many reasons why I was so taken by SL though the thing which really got me is friends. On SL I had more friends than I did in first life (1L), which is either a sad note or a hopeful one depending on how you look at it. SL led to having more friends in 1L. Why? Because I learned not to fear my inner self, my transgender self. I surrounded myself with people who would accept me through non judgment. The internet has truly opened the door for so many possibilities and Linden Labs, the creator of SL, has taken those possibilities and run with them. For which I am very grateful.
Those possibilities include using SL for discovering your sexual side and expressing your 
identity by trying on different roles, avatars, and relationships. It also is good for finding your Spiritual self since in the spiritual realms we have no body. The way each person sees SL is different and I am sure it serves many purposes for many people, but I will share my point of view and you can make of it what you will.
Second Life is a 3D virtual world that the residents create. Sort of like first life (1L). Neither 1L nor SL is to be confused with “real” life. Some call SL a game and we have all heard of the game of Life (not the board game). As A Course in Miracles (ACIM) teaches us, ‘our life, what we see with our body’s eyes, is all illusion’. Both 1L and SL are of our creation with a little help from Holy Spirit.
Look deep enough and you will find the real value in this virtual world of SecondLife. Why I initially got into SL is the power of imagination to create reality. As I mentioned earlier we are constantly creating our reality (in our dreams, both consciously and unconsciously). In SL we can let go of many of first life’s limitations. SL allows you to see reality as you choose it, sort of like practice. You create the avatar of your choice, which includes choosing your clothing, skin color, race, size, shape, hair, gender, everything. It is possible to be objects, animals, or invisible. Ever wonder what it is like to be a dog? How about the Kool-Aid man? It is great fun and you can experience things beyond the 1L world. Create your life just the way you desire and share this with others; get to know yourself.
Basil holding Sequoia
The fun part for me is visiting other people’s creations to see their vision and dreams. Many people get caught up in the financial aspects of life and SL is no different. The great thing about SL is there are many “freebies” therefore you can live without money! Of course having money makes things easier as it does in 1L. SL allows you to be rich very easily, since the exchange rate is something like 270 Lindens to $1. Money is there for the making. The money is digital which is the same for SL as in 1L. Money is energy! Though for me life’s not about money but about relationships!
Brainstorm and Sequoia dancing
Some of the things that work best in SL are music, both live and recorded, dancing (any style you can imagine), relationships (both voice chat and typed), sexual encounters (as real as your imagination), education, lectures, meetings, and even movies. A comment on SL sex, you are meeting actual people and interacting with them in ways you probably would not do in first life, so just be careful and courteous. Most behavior in SL is mature, but like 1L, sometimes it gets out of hand. I remember being attacked by penises one time when I was in a sand box (used for programming and building). And another time a guy tried to rape me (more like a dog trying to hump your leg). It was scary and then I remembered we have teleportation, so I just got outta there. It happened on the landing deck while my friend and I were sky diving. Unlike 1L nothing can harm you there, just remember, it is like practice. And by practice I mean learning to forgive, our greatest skill in 1L. Use SL as a way of extending the possibilities in your life and experiencing things you have been curious about but could not do in 1L. For me I have experienced things I never thought possible. Life really is about getting to know yourself better and this is done through relationships as I have pointed out throughout this text.
In SL you can have relationships you never thought possible and experience feelings you did not know you even had! Another word of caution here, it may appear that your 1L and SL are separate but I can assure you that they are not. Everything is connected in some way which can be both good and bad. If you do something in SL to hurt another person emotionally then the ramifications are both in 1L and SL. It works the other way too, if you meet someone special and you get to know this person well, romance in SL will affect your 1L. Several of my single friends have found life partners on SL and are now very happily living together in 1L. The other side of the coin is marriages have been broken up when new relationships started in SL that extended into 1L. In SL we call it a partnership and in 1L we call it marriage, but it is the same thing really. You can be partnered in SL to one person and married to someone else in 1L, or it can be the same person or no one. I have several friends who can attest to this, and in fact I have personal experience. Let me share my experience here now, 12 yrs later. I got so into SL that I brought my 1L wife into SL. My avatar is female, pictured above with my boyfriend Basil. Our relationships were open and we had many of the same friends. I loved hanging out with this guy from Europe and unknown to me, so did my wife. The picture below to the left is her and him together. In 1L I traveled a lot and our 1L relationship was failing, so I cannot blame her for falling for this guy, because I really liked him too. Two years later I discovered she was serious about him and we ended up getting divorced and they married. By this time I had transitioned in 1L and attended their wedding as a bridesmaid! Fortunately, I am conscious enough to see that I created the situation that transpired and I have no regrets. In case you don’t know yet, I am transgender and began the SL experience as a man, transitioned in 1L and now live as a woman. My avatar in SL has almost always been female (hey it is fun to experiment with different avatars) and the experiences I had there greatly enhanced my transition. The intentions you go in with will determine your experience, so try to keep an open mind and have fun!
Brainstorm and Nita
For those who are interested in exploring sex in a safe environment, SL is perfect. Use SL like training wheels and while having fun, remember love is the way (I mean agape love, because all relationships are with God and sex is a way of expressing our love for God). I say safe because sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) are not possible and neither is pregnancy, unless you choose that.
It is possible to have babies in SL which is a path you choose and create as you go. I had a friend who had a dragon avatar who had a baby dragon with her 1L partner who also had a dragon avatar, because she was unable to have children in 1L. If you choose to take this path then please take it seriously, even though this is virtual world the energy is very real. (a side note, having babies is always a choice whether in SL or 1L, though in 1L it is often a choice made unconsciously, meaning this lifetime has a path laid out and we either embrace it or we resist and suffer)
The bonds you build in SL are strong and if you are not careful it is easy to have your feelings hurt. Be honest with everyone you meet, however if you elect not to share your life with others then do not be upset if they do not take you seriously. I will also ask that you stay as aware as possible to the feelings of others as well as your own. The experience in SL is rich and vibrant, however just like in 1L you get back what you put into it!
Blessed Island, My home in SL 2009
Aquahouse, my current home.
Oneness Ministry 
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