Oneness Ministry

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Social Identity

by Sequoia Elisabeth

How far are we to go with allowing self (ego) identity? Who really decides who you are? In reality, it is other self (others) who decides who you are. We all have our own ideas of who we are and the spectrum of sharing this to the world goes full circle. Some shout it out and other totally deny it. My question is does any of this really matter? Do you care how I identify? Probably not, caring only how you identify. If this be true, I ask what part does other self play in identity?

The spiritual teachings I have read, and I have read a great deal over the past 30 years, say other self is critical in our own identity. The world around us is an unconscious projection of who we know ourselves to be. Please understand, 99% of us do this automatically and with no realization of the value we surround ourselves with. Saying “I am that” as you look around can be valuable and it can also be deceiving. We are so much More!

Now let us relate this to society. If I am born XY/male, then can I really change sex later in life? From my experience, No. There is no changing our biological gifts, with surgery or by any other means. Psychological perceptions on the other hand are totally changeable. We can change our appearance and even our experience of the world. I will caution, as my psychologist did me, that only 5% of those who transition, do so completely from one gender to the other. Think of a bell curve. Most will fall in the middle somewhere. No judgment here, there is no right gender. Though, we can conclude here that sex and gender are vastly different things. Most of us are born one sex or the other, given that some are born intersex, and we are stuck with it till death. Intersex presents vast complications so I am not going down that rabbit hole in this discussion. Gender is self identified to a great extent through our interactions with society. How one presents to the world determines their gender. We all have the freedom to choose our presentation, at least after we become an adult. Puberty is where my gender came into question, to me anyway. I presented as my birth sex for 30yrs as I struggled to work out my identity. My presentation slowly went from masculine to androgynous to feminine. Along with this transition, I changed my name and documentation to represent this new gender.

Recently I have been questioning the validity of these document changes. It is too bad society does not make clear the difference between sex and gender, though I certainly do. If the form asks for my gender I say Female and if it asks for sex I say male. (Actually both my DL and Passport say otherwise and I really wish they did not, yet they must to live in this crazy world) This is why all forms should offer a third option and many are doing this very thing now days. I value honesty very highly and it is my opinion official documents should list both sex and gender, leaving “trans*” options out of the equation. Actually, if it is not medical or census related then the question should be skipped all together. Those individuals who were born XX should be required to list their sex as female and XY as male, with intersex being for those who do not fit the other two classifications. Then we should have the option to list our gender as Man, Woman, or Other. I figured out my identity many years ago, before transition as Male Woman. The term Transgender or the many others folks have come up with just do not apply to me, though they are valid as gender identities. My call here is to make this as simple as possible, stating sex/gender identity. I suppose some people will be Intersex/male or other gender. Let’s be honest, I know myself to be male and as a result so does society no matter how I present. If you truly believe yourself to be the opposite sex from your birth sex and present this to the world you can be said to have transitioned, however I don’t think it is really possible to authentically transition from one sex to the other. Sex change is a myth! Gender Identity though is something we discover as we mature. It can be something we play around with, go back and forth with, though ultimately we will land on one that fits and we stick with. Society will play its part in our gender identity, so pay attention to the reception you get over time. Give your other self their due!

Sequoia Elisabeth

Oneness Minister

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Two Sides of the Same Coin

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Life is a duality. The growing trend to accept that life is a rainbow or has ‘shades of gray’ are the mad ravings of the ego mind. Please don’t buy into it’s hysteria. I say this having already made this mistake and now know the consequences. No body wishes to be alone on this journey and while we all die alone, no body needs be alone along the path. Since this probably makes little sense to you, I will do my best to break down a few of the ideas presented here.

Let’s start with duality. Dual obviously means two and duality refers to the two sided nature of life here on earth. For every force there is an equal and opposite force. Basic physics! The idea of multiple forces simply clouds the fact there are only two and any others are an extension of these two. For every rule there are always exceptions. The only force which has no opposite is Love and this is the true nature of the Universe. Love is all there is. Many think Gravity has no opposite and they would be partially correct. Gravity is the physical manifestation of Love. It is the most powerful force in 3D (on earth). In reality there is no gravity, only Love.

Everyone gets excited when they see a rainbow. They are so beautiful and captivating. Artists often use shades of gray as well as colors, tones, and hues, yet all that extends from two states, light and no light. Degrees of reflection or as science calls them wavelengths of light make up all color and shades of gray. The reality is we have black and white, no light and light. I am not going into detail here because I don’t wish to get distracted. The ego often sends us on “fools errands” like trying to explain every little detail of life and to name them. Walking away from this habit after a lifetime of indoctrination can be difficult. I find the best way is to make up your mind to do so and keep moving forward. The concepts and truths I offer here will be resisted by the ego mind and when you feel this resistance, step back, take a deep breath and focus on Love, Light, or pure darkness. Nothing wrong with opposites and since darkness is simply the lack of light it belongs here too. The focus is on purity… complete darkness or total light. Even the Sun is not total light, nor is the darkest cave complete darkness. The light comes from within. I have been in a cave with no outside light and felt the light within me. It has a wonderful calming effect. While the Sun is not total light, it does emit total light, but then, so can you!

There is no way I could possibly explain ego mind in a short blog post and in fact I am still learning about it and have been studying it for decades. For a list of recommended reading see my website. Moving on to no body wishes to be alone I think this is self explanatory… or Not! While we are not our bodies nor our ego mind, we do experience life here through its lens. This is where loneliness comes from. It is the fear we are separate from others and from God. In fact, ACIM teaches this is the single and greatest issue in our lives. Fear arises from this false evidence of being separate from any and all things. Even though the body is made up of millions of bacteria, microbes, and other life and it is inside us, we think it is all separate. It takes time (also an illusion) to reconcile what Oneness is. We are One. Opps, I get ahead of myself. We are still on duality. Forgive me, I often revert to my true nature… that of pure non-duality. Ego mind is our interface with the world around us. It is not our friend! It is also not the enemy, though it can appear so. Tying this all back to loneliness and duality, there are only two sexes, male and female. No shades of gray, no colors, nothing else! I know I wrote an entire book on the topic of transgender and such, but at the end of the day this is the ramblings of an ego mind. Yes, it is true on the level of the ego mind, earth, or 3D, but not on the level of the Spiritual or absolute. Thus we arrive at the motivation for this blog post. When I came out as transgender my father asked me, so you are doing this to be with men? No, I said, I am doing this because I must. While this is totally true, I had to transition or die. I have never been attracted to men and only a few women. Well maybe a few men, but not most. Anyway, I have been working on reconciling this seeming contradiction ever since (over 40 yrs). I see now this is not a contradiction, but simply Ego. Perhaps on this level of form, my mind is fractured… schizo. I have no idea. I don’t care! I know that sex is of the ego mind and brings nothing but pain in the end. Oh it may feel good for a few moments or longer, but ultimately it’s a let down! Let me count the ways… NOT.

Being alone is a state of mind, a fearful mind. Focus on Love, count your blessings, and give thanks for all you have in your life at this moment. Do this every day. Make it a habit! This state of loneliness will vanish and a peace of mind will replace it without any other effort. Originally this blog came from the thought that as a transgender person I will never know close companionship again. I have been married twice and while I cherish those relationships and the love I found (and didn’t find) I now know my true relationship is with my Creator. I remain focused on Source, the love which creates me and all reality. Love is all there is.

Sequoia Elisabeth

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Second Life Possibilities

by Sequoia Elisabeth

This post comes from my eBook Sex and Sexuality. I edited it out of the 2020 version because most of my friends now simply do not indulge in virtual reality. I have updated and expanded on it and post it here for posterity.

Second Life Possibilities

If you could have a chance to start your life over, would you? What if you could live all your dreams to the fullest without limitation? There is a virtual chat reality that can allow you to experience much of what you are too afraid to experience in “real” life. It is called SecondLife.com(SL). When I found SL in 2008 I thought to myself, “I can’t handle one life, what would I do with two?” Curiosity got the better of me though, so I checked it out and I was hooked immediately. There are many reasons why I was so taken by SL though the thing which really got me is friends. On SL I had more friends than I did in first life (1L), which is either a sad note or a hopeful one depending on how you look at it. SL led to having more friends in 1L. Why? Because I learned not to fear my inner self, my transgender self. I surrounded myself with people who would accept me through non judgment. The internet has truly opened the door for so many possibilities and Linden Labs, the creator of SL, has taken those possibilities and run with them. For which I am very grateful.

Those possibilities include using SL for discovering your sexual side and expressing your identity by trying on different roles, avatars, and relationships. It also is good for finding your Spiritual self since in the spiritual realms we have no body. The way each person sees SL is different and I am sure it serves many purposes for many people, but I will share my point of view and you can make of it what you will.

Second Life is a 3D virtual world that the residents create. Sort of like first life (1L). Neither 1L nor SL is to be confused with “real” life. Some call SL a game and we have all heard of the game of Life (not the board game). As A Course in Miracles (ACIM) teaches us, ‘our life, what we see with our body’s eyes, is all illusion’. Both 1L and SL are of our creation with a little help from Holy Spirit.

Look deep enough and you will find the real value in this virtual world of SecondLife. Why I initially got into SL is the power of imagination to create reality. As I mentioned earlier we are constantly creating our reality (in our dreams, both consciously and unconsciously). In SL we can let go of many of first life’s limitations. SL allows you to see reality as you choose it, sort of like practice. You create the avatar of your choice, which includes choosing your clothing, skin color, race, size, shape, hair, gender, everything. It is possible to be objects, animals, or invisible. Ever wonder what it is like to be a dog? How about the Kool-Aid man? It is great fun and you can experience things beyond the 1L world. Create your life just the way you desire and share this with others; get to know yourself.

Basil holding Sequoia

The fun part for me is visiting other people’s creations to see their vision and dreams. Many people get caught up in the financial aspects of life and SL is no different. The great thing about SL is there are many “freebies” therefore you can live without money! Of course having money makes things easier as it does in 1L. SL allows you to be rich very easily, since the exchange rate is something like 270 Lindens to $1. Money is there for the making. The money is digital which is the same for SL as in 1L. Money is energy! Though for me life’s not about money but about relationships!

Brainstorm and Sequoia dancing

Some of the things that work best in SL are music, both live and recorded, dancing (any style you can imagine), relationships (both voice chat and typed), sexual encounters (as real as your imagination), education, lectures, meetings, and even movies. A comment on SL sex, you are meeting actual people and interacting with them in ways you probably would not do in first life, so just be careful and courteous. Most behavior in SL is mature, but like 1L, sometimes it gets out of hand. I remember being attacked by penises one time when I was in a sand box (used for programming and building). And another time a guy tried to rape me (more like a dog trying to hump your leg). It was scary and then I remembered we have teleportation, so I just got outta there. It happened on the landing deck while my friend and I were sky diving. Unlike 1L nothing can harm you there, just remember, it is like practice. And by practice I mean learning to forgive, our greatest skill in 1L. Use SL as a way of extending the possibilities in your life and experiencing things you have been curious about but could not do in 1L. For me I have experienced things I never thought possible. Life really is about getting to know yourself better and this is done through relationships as I have pointed out throughout this text.

In SL you can have relationships you never thought possible and experience feelings you did not know you even had! Another word of caution here, it may appear that your 1L and SL are separate but I can assure you that they are not. Everything is connected in some way which can be both good and bad. If you do something in SL to hurt another person emotionally then the ramifications are both in 1L and SL. It works the other way too, if you meet someone special and you get to know this person well, romance in SL will affect your 1L. Several of my single friends have found life partners on SL and are now very happily living together in 1L. The other side of the coin is marriages have been broken up when new relationships started in SL that extended into 1L. In SL we call it a partnership and in 1L we call it marriage, but it is the same thing really. You can be partnered in SL to one person and married to someone else in 1L, or it can be the same person or no one. I have several friends who can attest to this, and in fact I have personal experience. Let me share my experience here now, 12 yrs later. I got so into SL that I brought my 1L wife into SL. My avatar is female, pictured above with my boyfriend Basil. Our relationships were open and we had many of the same friends. I loved hanging out with this guy from Europe and unknown to me, so did my wife. The picture below to the left is her and him together. In 1L I traveled a lot and our 1L relationship was failing, so I cannot blame her for falling for this guy, because I really liked him too. Two years later I discovered she was serious about him and we ended up getting divorced and they married. By this time I had transitioned in 1L and attended their wedding as a bridesmaid! Fortunately, I am conscious enough to see that I created the situation that transpired and I have no regrets. In case you don’t know yet, I am transgender and began the SL experience as a man, transitioned in 1L and now live as a woman. My avatar in SL has almost always been female (hey it is fun to experiment with different avatars) and the experiences I had there greatly enhanced my transition. The intentions you go in with will determine your experience, so try to keep an open mind and have fun!

Brainstorm and Nita

For those who are interested in exploring sex in a safe environment, SL is perfect. Use SL like training wheels and while having fun, remember love is the way (I mean agape love, because all relationships are with God and sex is a way of expressing our love for God). I say safe because sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) are not possible and neither is pregnancy, unless you choose that.

It is possible to have babies in SL which is a path you choose and create as you go. I had a friend who had a dragon avatar who had a baby dragon with her 1L partner who also had a dragon avatar, because she was unable to have children in 1L. If you choose to take this path then please take it seriously, even though this is virtual world the energy is very real. (a side note, having babies is always a choice whether in SL or 1L, though in 1L it is often a choice made unconsciously, meaning this lifetime has a path laid out and we either embrace it or we resist and suffer)

The bonds you build in SL are strong and if you are not careful it is easy to have your feelings hurt. Be honest with everyone you meet, however if you elect not to share your life with others then do not be upset if they do not take you seriously. I will also ask that you stay as aware as possible to the feelings of others as well as your own. The experience in SL is rich and vibrant, however just like in 1L you get back what you put into it!

Blessed Island, My home in SL 2009

Aquahouse, my current home.

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Specialness

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The biggest failure of my personal lifetime is gender transition and yet it is also the greatest success. Let me explain. Upon deep reflection and shadow work along with many years of Spiritual Study I have come to realize the motivation behind “transgenderism”. I will just say right now that sex has almost nothing to do with it! We all have the basic need to be loved and to love others. Family is where this starts, for most of us at least. I was born into a middle class family and had both my parents, along with a sibling before me and after. My “cry for love” (need for attention) was no different than any others. My parents did their very best and I can honestly say I had a wonderful childhood. Yet I developed a need to be noticed, an inner cry for love. So who was denying me this love? I was of course. At first my cries for attention where health based since Dad was a physician and this is what I came to know first.

Mom was a model in her younger days and she got quite the attention. She was also tall and perhaps she got more attention than she really wanted. Children model after whom raises them and such, Mom was my role model. I saw the attention she got and I know she was loved, I could see it everywhere. I wished to be like her. To get love, probably, but also to model love. The ego finds multitudes of ways to get attention, being trans* is just one of them. Any deviance is a cry for love. It is the ego crying look at me, I am special! I see this clearly now and have for several years, though it is clearer than ever today.

The ego’s desire for specialness reinforces the separation idea it is based on. Death does this also in just the opposite way, for everyone dies! These ideas of separation are at the root of every issue anyone and everyone in this world has ever had. We fear we are separate from God, that we have been expelled from the Garden of Eden. The wool so to speak has brilliantly been pulled over our eyes. Some would call this the veil of forgetting. I remember now and have for some time. We are One and this means there is no one else, no thing else, … God is all there is. By shining this light the darkness vanishes. Fear cannot exist in the Light. The more Light I shine, the less fear (false evidence appearing real) exists.

We are each familiar with the rules of the game so to speak, both of the dream world and the physical world. Neither of these is reality. This being said, it is what we know, for now. So it is best to face this world we have created with Love, why? Because Love is what and who we are. Remember, Love is reality. This is how you will know where your thoughts are taking you, if it dies or changes then it is not real. The answer is always love, every time you respond differently a barrier is created. The road home is paved in Love. Any obstacle is your own resistance to this Truth.

We are not here to change anything, so we must embrace who we are and even who we appear to be. As our awareness grows and answers flow in, this does not mean we must act, in fact, I would suggest no action. If you feel like someone else sometimes, I would suggest this comes from greater awareness. I feel and act more female than male in my opinion and thus my transition, nothing wrong with this. Though nothing is right either. What is Is. It’s about learning to love it. “It’s not about getting what you want, but wanting what you get!”

My goal now is to see with new eyes. To see Truth, Love, Reality! Everywhere! This requires faith to see beyond the surface, to see beyond emotion and feelings, to see beyond even Thought. I am on the road and life keeps getting better and better. Not because life is getting better, but because I am becoming more. Some call this awakening. In reality, there is no better, all is perfection. This perfection is what I realize now.

Sequoia Elisabeth

Footnote:

For those who would like to better understand the ego I recommend a few books, the best being ACIM, A Course in Miracles, the other is Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth. Of course there are many other books on ACIM, I like Gary Renard’s books because he makes it interesting and understandable.

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Evo-lution

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transness.org is the evolution of my experience as being transgender. The journey consciously began sometime in the 70’s around the time I went through puberty, though I can vaguely remember questioning my gender around the age of 4 or 5 when I played show and tell with a neighborhood girl. Why didn’t I look like that?

In the book Sex and Sexuality I share my autobiography and discuss gender and sexuality. The topic has been confusing and intriguing over the years. Reviewing my progress through identity continues to be informative and entertaining. As I sit here now looking back 50+ years later I still have not arrived at a definitive answer. I created transness.org as a way to help others and thereby help myself. Recently I have been debating on what comes next. Where do we go from here? I am happy with things for the most part. Here is what I have learned so far.

Hormones are incredibly powerful and are not to be taken lightly. Many of us are taking hormones unknowingly in the foods we eat and the chemicals we expose ourselves to. Perhaps this is what starts the questioning process. I also know our environment comes through us and not at us. It is not separate. Like the set in a play it’s all connected. Or should I say projected. So you want to be the opposite gender, then just take this hormone and voila.

Sex is fixed in this life experience. The way you are born is the way it is. I know I have said differently at several occasions. I was spouting what I was told. I now know differently, not because it is a fact, but because I have tested the hypothesis and arrived at an answer. All the spiritual teachings say the same. Physical sex cannot be changed no matter what we do to our bodies. There are no exceptions only really good illusions.

It is important to understand the difference between sex and gender. Gender is a mental construct. A perceived set of rules we live by. Gender is man made. Sex on the other hand is nature made. (notice I did not say God made, because God has nothing to do with this world) Think of your life as a story. Once upon a time, a boy was born. The story sets the stage. Another story may be written but this story is fixed. I was born male and will always be till I die and another story is written. Now we can alter the course of the story, but the stage is set. In the early days, men played the female roles, so this is nothing new. Basic factors or laws are written that we all must follow. Study screen writing if you would like a good example of human lives in general. This tangent could fill a book and it has, however let’s get back to the topic of this blog.

Transitions Blog has 548 posts so far. That is a lot of words even if I do attempt to keep my blogs between 500-1000 words. Not to mention the 4 eBooks I have written. Has all this writing served its purpose? I will say Yes. Writing helps me process my thoughts and clarify my ideas. I recommend it to anyone attempting to understand their journey. The question that has been popping up a lot for me lately is should I remove Transness.org and just focus on OnenessMinistry.info? I had the two combined at one point, perhaps that is best? We are Spiritual Beings after all. Transgender is just one expression of being human. It is a way of relating to the world. I believe it is an evolved way of seeing life from both sides at the same time. Ultimately there is no male/female or man/woman, these are just dualistic view points. Transgender to me is between dualism and monism. It is the process of monism viewing dualism. Oneness observes dualism and knows sameness, contrary to appearances. Transgender is NOT about being on one side of the bus and moving to the other side. There are no sides. For this reason I have transitioned transness.org to the next step in evo-lution for me. Being transgender is a footnote in my life’s journey, life goes on, I am who I am. Labels make us small. They shrink us into a box and miss reality completely. How does one label “All there is”?

Sequoia Elisabeth <..>

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Refined Message

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What is our purpose? I’ve been asking myself why I even keep these websites. What I should do with them if anything. So here is what I came up with. A refined Manifesto.

My purpose and lot in life is to love and accept myself and the dream I have created. There is no more sobering thought than to realize you are the source of your nightmares. All the pain you have ever felt is on you. There is no one else, not really. “All else” or “other” is a projection from mind, your mind, the only mind. Our whole sense of self is based on Ego, this is the very definition of identity. If you think you exist, then this is the Ego. It is not good or bad, it is just the filter used to experience the world around you… to Know thy self!

Sometimes this image gets blurred and we think the “Other” is who we are. On the greater levels this is true, however on this limited Ego level it is not. I am you and you are me, though the Ego exists to further refine what you and me are. Ego is separation. All in this world is separate and represents the Ego (not the personality as Freud presented, but the entire “self”). I have come to believe that gender itself is an ego construct and Transgender is a confusion of this primary construct. We are born male, female or intersex, this cannot be changed in this lifetime. Sex is simply our Identity construct, it may define our life this time around, but it is by no means fixed in reality. Gender by the way is not Sex, these aspects are separate and yet intertwined. In the Ego world, there are shades of gray or color. A rainbow represents separation of light… thus the Ego. A perfect symbol for anyone who identifies with being human, special, or different. Yes, we appear to be unique, but this is only a perception – a desire by the Ego to be special or somehow better than other. The way to work though this is presented in A Course in Miracles. I will not go into it further and leave it up to you to explore.

I will not tell anyone else what to think or what is right or wrong, because that depends on your perspective and point of view. Being Transgender is real if you think it is. It cannot be denied, as I tried for 30 yrs and it kept coming back. When you get a obsessive idea the only way to get over it is to move through it. It could be called a problem, but in reality it is just an idea. Consuming, yes. So accept it and move through it. Face it head on. Fear = false evidence appearing real. Even death is false. I have died many times or at least my Ego has. Love is real and can not be destroyed. Whatever is “killed or dies” is unreal. Know this and life becomes a Joy. By “Know” I mean no doubt whatsoever.

So, if you have the impulse to crossdress then go for it. If you wish to sleep with the same sex or deny sex all together, go for it. However, if you have the impulse to harm anyone including yourself then take a step back. Tell someone about these feelings. Talk it out and take no action. The question is what does “harm” mean? I have been over that many times. Is it harmful to Transition? Is it harmful to die? Does shattering the concept others have of you qualify as harmful? There is the simple principle of “what you do to another, you do to yourself”. So perhaps transition is just passing your own confusion off to others close to you (other self). As you see the “other” you will see yourself. There is also the principle that we learn through experience, so unless we transition no lesson is learned. Pain is inevitable, suffering is up to you. I am not responsible for your suffering, even if I am responsible for your pain. We each have free will. There are no easy answers to these questions, there are only your answers. I have answered them for myself. I invite you to explore these questions and do your best. Live life and don’t apologize! Only you can ultimately judge you, so be kind.

Sequoia Elisabeth

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What I have learned about Transgender in this lifetime

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transgender is defined as: A person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. This is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis. This is the definition I use on my website and has variations depending on who is being asked. Bottom line each individual has their own identity and defines this word slightly differently. The bottom line is fuzzy like so much of life here on earth. Identity itself is hazy at best. We try to make it clear and well defined, but that is like holding a handful of sand.

Frankly, I have almost 200 blogs just on transgender and so this blog will be simple. It all comes down to other self. The world is our mirror and how we treat others determines how we are treated. It reflects what you think of yourself. Life is not happening to you, but thru you! How you see other self is how you see your own self. Ultimately, if you have looked around my websites you know I teach oneness. We are One! If you get what this means then there is no reason to read further. If not, I invite you to read my blogs and visit https://onenessministry.info/.

Transgender or any gender for that matter is a perception based on prejudice. Nothing is finite since life or our perception of it changes all the time. At some point you will be or have been all of it, just not all at the same time. Humans cannot function that way, so time serves to allow experience to span all possibility, one life at a time. What comes around goes around! Our entire Universe is designed to separate life into components, aspects, and pieces for further inspection. Its like looking at a cell under the microscope and identifying its parts. In that way we know it better. If you really want to know someone, walk a mile in their shoes is the phrase I used to hear all the time. The reality is we do exactly that! Enjoy the trip.

Sequoia Elisabeth

Counseling and More

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The key to counseling and the purpose behind gender centers and the like is quite simple. Human nature dictates a need to feel loved and accepted, to belong, and to be supported in our beliefs. As a counselor it is our job to listen. Simple as that. It is not our job to tell the client any thing in particular, to solve their problems, or do anything in particular. So with this foundation, we simply listen, love, and support the client. Sounds easy, right?

It is far from it. As humans we want to do things, and change things, and help others. And this is where we go astray. To counsel is to assist another in making a decision or in understanding a principle or a choice better. It is walking a path while holding their hand. Not walking the path for them, not force feeding them doctrine, and not telling them what to do.

Applying this to centers like the Gender Identity Center, the main reason I left was simply this. They kept wanting to do things, change things, and provide a path. Surgery to me like all of medicine serves a limited function. It is a band aid – a temporary measure taken to assist the individual in healing. (Think bigger than one lifetime) It also depends heavily on ones cosmology. I am taking the non-dualistic path. Who knows how long I have been on this path, but it makes the most sense to me. Duality is like a fun house of mirrors, Insane! Guess what? We live in a dualistic world. Yes, so this means we are all insane. Most of us believe this world to be “real”, that we have bodies, and that what we do here actually matters in the big scheme of things. I have learned this is misguided at best. If we do have bodies, then surgery makes sense. I am male, you female and this can be switched with the magic of a blade.

The standards of care for transgender individuals includes counseling, CHT, and for some SRS/GRS. While this may seem appropriate to those living in duality. It is not “reality”. All I ask is for you to explore the possibilities, question reality, and continue doing this for your lifetime. Another human trait or perhaps a trait of those living duality is we like things to be finite/fixed. A bird is a bird and is always a bird. If this is true, then those born male will always be male. However, I am asking is this really so? Am I male or female? Man or Woman? Why do some humans blur the line? These questions and many more have guided my life. They inspire me. They do not define me. I am not a body, I am free! I am just as God created me! Spirit!!! There is no separate self… meaning there is no me. It is quite the conundrum to one who sees with separate eyes.

What it comes down to is I left the GIC because I can not longer play dualistic games, this goes for my former career in medical imaging. When one steps out of the picture they realize its all just a game and not a fun game at that! Magic always comes with a price! So surgery comes at a price. Make darn sure you are willing to pay that price! I am not speaking about money either. Even if it was free, it still has a very high price. This goes for whatever you do, know the price, CHT included. What you do with these changes is up to you. I have posted almost 500 blogs, so if you wish to understand this blog better just look back over these. It has taken me over 50 years to get to this point, so if you are not here yet then stick with it. If you are beyond this point then you are probably not reading this blog, LOL. Either way, Blessings on your Journey of Love!

Sequoia Elisabeth

OnenessMinistry.info

Human Nature

by Sequoia Elisabeth

It is human nature to desire love and attention. As soon as we are born we become addicted to it. As cute little babies we get a lot of it too! If we don’t, then we cry. Often attention is necessary as a baby since we cannot talk, we need our diaper changed or we need food or we just need a hug. There is a reason for everything. A practical side to each story. Today we are going to look at human nature and how it relates to being transgender. As usual I will use ACIM (A Course In Miracles) principles as well as other spiritual teachings to explain this.

If it is not an expression of Love, then it is a cry for Love. One of the basic tenets of ACIM, this applies very well to being Transgender. So in every case, love is the answer. Simple, Yes? Easy? That is up to you. Understanding what Love is helps tremendously. My ebooks go into this extensively, so to find those, click here.

When looking at Transgender behavior it is easy to see the individual seeks attention. They are claiming to be different than the masses and expressing their “specialness”. ACIM teaches us the desire to be special is the ego or small self demanding attention. While we are all unique, none of us is “special”. Understand that Love is who you really are and this cannot be taken from you. The ego is our small self and the Love is our Large self or Spiritual being. Yes, Human Nature is made up of both. The ego is loud, demanding, and relentless. This seems to be pronounced for those who are transgender. To get a better understanding of ego, I suggest reading Eckhard Tolle’s book, “A New Earth”. Of course, ACIM is a required course so eventually you will be doing that as well. (Says so right on the first page of the book) There is no better explanation of human nature than what you will find in ACIM. Echhard and Gary are the best authors I have found to explain it. Moving on…

While our bodies are simply a vehicle we experience this world in, they must be taken seriously. The ego will not be ignored! So respect and explore your feelings. All the while remembering Love is all there really is. If it hurts or is painful you can be assured it is ego and not Truth. We each are expressing ourselves in every action we take – how we dress, what we say, and how we behave. Do what you will, it is all good. This means judge not! The ego world around us is temporary, it is in effect a dream, though it does not end when you die, it just starts over. The way out of this world is to Forgive, meaning non-judgment. It is also easier if one creates as little “karma” as possible, because what comes around goes around. If you harm another, you will be harmed. Not directly, but eventually.

To recap here, everyone desires love and attention without even realizing Love is who they are. The body is a vehicle for experiencing the ego world, in essence your body is your ego. Who you really are needs not changing for it is perfect like its creator and has nothing to do with the ego world. Do what you must in this ego world and all the while remember who you are! Love is all there is and this means You.

Imagine you are in a fun house of distorted mirrors. As you walk through you laugh at all the strange images and know all the time none of it is real. But this place is big! You can’t find your way out and you start to panic. Everywhere you look… strangeness and distortion. Take a deep breath… Forgive, remember it is unreal. This is just for fun, remember? Laugh. All is well. Now continue on your way and judge not what you see, what you think, and how you feel. Make it all ok and have fun. When you least expect it a door appears and you exit the fun house. You realize you were home all along. All really is well.

Whys and What fors of Transgender

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Let us break down this thing we call Transgender. What is it? “A person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. This is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis.” How long has this been going on? For various reasons since the dawning of mankind, in very small numbers though. So the big question is why are the numbers growing right now.

According to the Pleiadian’s (our future selves) wisdom, it is because of out of control chemical use and abuse since the 1950’s. Our scientists have repeatedly found chemicals to effect the sexual development of not only human fetuses but those of fish and many other creatures. Not just DES, which is a synthetic hormone given to women in the late 50’s into the 70’s to prevent miscarriage, has been identified as a possible cause of transgenderism. The list is not small, but the point here is that this phenomenon is bigger than any one individual. Our actions have repercussions. So let us stop here. I see where this is going. Blame.

I am not here to blame an industry for my issues, nor am I here to blame any one person. This process of needing to know why is an ego function. It is a destructive process that does not end well. So, while I do understand that irresponsible chemical usage is most likely behind the surge in Transgender, I wish to focus on the real opportunity here. Love.

We have an opportunity here to love each other no matter what the circumstances. “Why” is a pointless question that just leads to blame, shame, and pain. FORGET “WHY”. To any question. The question we have now is how can I love this person who is transgender,… or ____ fill in the blank.

Part II

The wisdom I referred to earlier of the Pleiadian’s also says NOT to alter your body or identity. So let me address this because it hit home hard. I have heard this wisdom before, in fact every time I considered it in the back of my mind this wisdom lingered. However the power of reasoning won out in the end. I say won, because I did change my identity and my body, though very slightly and significantly. What is done is done, so this is really for those who are still considering making changes to their body or identity. Don’t. Better yet, understand what is really going on and get help!

What is really going on? It is a combination of factors, chemistry, biology, and mind. Our minds are connecting with life memories past or future and making them current. This issue is about dealing with what we have to work with Now, in this incarnation. Do not confuse thoughts or feelings of others or from different lifetimes. Perhaps this blending (thought confusion) is a culmination of many lifetimes. This would certainly make sense. The chemistry is about the chemical toxicity of our environment these days and the biology concerns DNA and hormone balance. I have spoken of these many times in the past as well as in my ebook, so I will not go into those here. The take away here is to accept the gifts you have this time around and use them for the good of both you and others. If you need clarity, then take a step back and do nothing. Meditate on how you fit into the big scheme of things. Big life changes such as transition are a cry for Love. Often we don’t feel loved because we ourselves have not been loving to others. I mean love here not kindness or simple caring or ego infatuation. Love is ethereal at times, but in reality it is the essence of who we are and what I am saying here is we hide this aspect of ourselves away fearing it will be lost or damaged. I can assure you this is not possible. If it is truly yours no one can take it from you. The only thing you have more of when you give it away is love. The answer here is not to transition physically, but internally and open the door to your heart. You are lovable with or without a penis! Trust life to have given you the gifts you need this time around.

Now that Transgender is a big media thing the beast is loose. Do not fear it. Know that this too shall pass. We are here to be loved as part of life’s diverse universe of infinite possibilities. It is all good!

Part III

So where do we go from here? I for one ask forgiveness (Non-judgment). Then I am going to share the teachings as I understand them. I have been doing this for a long time, and now my understanding is even deeper. I intend to emphasize the Do No Harm aspect of Medical care. This means do not alter the physical body for several reasons. It is false hope first of all, changing forms does not alter who you are. The idea that you are expressing some hidden inner self is delusion! You have been expressing this constantly since you were born and continue to do so. Choose wisely what you show the outside world. They are not concerned with who you are, only about who they are. If what you show them does not jive with who they think they are, you will feel push back or resistance. Nothing wrong with pushing your boundaries, but know that it comes at a cost, the harder you push, the higher the cost. For example, I lost everything when I transitioned. I thought this was spiritual sacrifice and a good thing. This is what I told myself. Good is relative in the world and ultimately very difficult to nail down. What is good for one is bad for another. So do not rely on “Good”. Trust that you do not know what is best for you and neither does anyone else!! Only Holy Spirit knows. Search deep to find your inner intuitive guidance. It is there. I had it, but ignored it and it cost me. Now I could say many aspects of my life at present are pleasant and enjoyable, but that does not make them “good”. How has my decision to transition affected others and my eventual life’s path? It is almost impossible to say. This is where faith comes in. I can assure you that I am being hypocritical here, we all do this from time to time. Being aware of it seems to help. I know this means forgiveness. I am asking you to not do what I did. Why would I do this? Because our transition empowers the dream! We are saying our bodies are real and must be changed to be “right”. I see how insane this is now, but since the issue kept coming up over and over I thought I must do something. I was wrong. I was doing it right in the first place!!! As is usually the case. Crossdress if you must, express yourself if you feel the need, masturbate, but don’t make permanent changes. The body is not real I hear you say and you are right, however this is about energy, thought energy and its expression. What I am saying is to let the energy flow where it may, but not to make it real. Be in the world, but not of it. Transition is being “Of It”!! I wrestled with this conundrum for years and still do. The eclipse has brought me clarity. Almost all the Spiritual teachings say the same. Honor the temple and do not defile it. To me this means no tattoos, no cosmetic surgery, and no unnecessary medical surgery. Oh, but science is saying GRS, etc. is medically necessary. I say no it is not. This is an ego trick or our reasoning mind justifying its desires. How far do we go with this? The line is fuzzy, so we must use our own judgment. Not much else I can say here, except to get in touch with your Spirit and follow the guidance it provides. I can wish I never took CHT or had an orchiectomy, but honestly the orchi has been a good thing for me. I was struggling with sexual hormones of any type and no longer have that battle. The hormones tend to be an amplifier so as a male born individual estrogen has heightened my senses and the opposite is true going the other way. I cannot say I feel any different though after a decade, at first yes, but it fades. Identity continues to be a challenge for me. Spiritual teaching dictates that one must be polarized to move forward. This means being either male or female, so since I was born with a masculine body I must embrace this while still respecting my feminine nature. Perhaps this is what being Transgender really is all about without all the physical manipulation. Embrace your gifts! How you do this is up to you. I trust we are doing the best we can!

Love and Light,

Sequoia Elisabeth

https://transness.org/ & https://onenessministry.info/

Insights 2

by Sequoia Elisabeth

From the Transgender perspective life begins a new after transition, but this process is not limited to transgender individuals. As I was saying in the previous blog, life is full of “ego” shifts. These shifts are analogous to a person stepping to one side or the other for a better view. Each view builds a more complete picture. My life existed as one mind/body complex to the point of transition and then shifted in such a large way that there is no going back to any part of the previous story. In effect the person I was died quite literally and a new person was born. I even remember grieving that former self. It could be said that he was murdered in order for the new me to exist. However, we are not separate. We are still and always have been one person. Everyone is connected through the One Mind. It is not only transgender individuals who do this though. There are many ways a large shift can occur, for example NDE (Near Death Experience), Divorce, Loss of a loved one, Trauma in many forms, Deep Meditation and/or Ayahuasca experience, etc. All of these can be “ego” deaths without the loss of ones body. I have blogged about death before and make the point that all death is suicide. In effect what is dying is the “ego” or the small self. We need not part with our bodies to do this. Think of a snake who sheds its skin. In fact we too are shedding skin all the time. Our physical form is constantly changing and shifting in small ways. The ultimate death need not occur till such a time arrives. The ego is constantly trying to kill you quite literally. Don’t listen to it!

A transgender transition is simply an experience as all transitions are, so the focus should be on the experience not being transgender or whatever identity is involved. Go deeper. Discover what exactly this means to you. Meditate, contemplate, and do what it takes to explore your inner self. Ask questions without a need for answers. Answers have a way of bubbling up and all we have to do is be aware of them – experience them! To me this is what living is all about… the experience! To further clarify this a few points are critical to understand. Life is not about pain/pleasure, good/bad, or any other duality. There is so much more to life. Seek not to feel good, but to simply feel, making whatever that may be, Ok. Being transgender means experiencing life from the opposite gender perspective than the one society assigned you. The experience will be uniquely yours!

Celebrate this, but don’t project it or expect it of others. Respect others experience of you! Meaning if they hate/attack/abuse you, then they are hating themselves and they have every right to do so. Life is a circle and once you honor this any “persecution” you may experience will end if you truly desire it to. What you experience from others was first given by you at some level (often unconsciously). What you give you receive. The key here is non-judgment. Judge not lest you be judged. Can you see the circle here? To love yourself is to love others. Here I speak of agape love, not sexual love. Know the difference! Animalistic love or sexual love is a part of life and a powerful tool to experience Great Spirit/God if used properly. It is also completely meaningless (often painful) if abused or used improperly. I have only used it properly a few times in this lifetime and that is enough for me. My path is one of understanding the other forms of love and learning to experience agape love. What is your path? Where do you see yourself heading?

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

OnenessMinistry.info

onenessministry.info Transness.org

The Crying has Stopped

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Attention! Ego calling.

This is our daily life because the ego is our interface to this world. Without it there would be no world. This however is not a bad thing since this world is illusion. Reality exists beyond space and time and has no thing to do with the world you see around you. For more on this please refer to ACIM (a course in miracles) and Law of One (the teachings of RA). I needed to lay a groundwork for this blog which will better explain my following insights.

I have been doing a lot of childhood and adolescent analysis of my life. It has become clear to me that most of my behavior was based on a need to be loved. I did not realize I was loved so much and thus my hypochondriac tendencies and later my transgender identity. Much of our behavior as human beings can be traced back to this separation idea on which life in time and space is based. The very concept of space and time are separation. Since the moment I was born I have been crying for attention, literally at first. Mom told me I cried for the first month after I was born and as it turned out I had a double hernia and had surgery to fix it. The two things I did a lot as a child is sleep and cry. I did not want to be here… in this illusion. Perhaps it could be called a nightmare. It was not always one though. I have wonderful memories too. The time I spent with family and in nature was usually very good. As time went on I observed how much my mother was loved by father, brother, and others. I craved what she had and perhaps this is where the seed of my transgender identity sprouted from. I wanted to be like Mom. Of course my crying was fairly effective and got me some attention. I was so insecure that I sucked my thumb till the age of 9 yrs old. The only way my parents could break me of this habit was to have a dental device implanted so that I got stuck by prongs if I put my thumb in my mouth. Wow. It is funny to even think of this now. How absurd life is. Why do I hang on so? False Fear would be my observation at this point.

What I have discovered is there is nothing to fear, it is just a dream and it is time to wake up. It is time to grow up and be the mature loving beings we are! I suspect this whole construct of Transgender and gender non-conformity is rooted in fear of not being loved. (Thus the “cure” is to Love …unconditionally) It is just one method the ego mind uses to make us feel special, to feel deserving of being loved. My work with the transgender community has shown me this need to be special trumps all others motivations. We all need Love. Or do we? ACIM teaches us that we are the Love we seek. That to look outside ourselves for it results in anxiety and depression. That search is futile! Why do we see so much anxiety and depression in the world? Because of this very idea that Love comes from others! It does not. There is no “other” but what is projected by the ego. We are One, means there is only one Mind, the Mind of God (use whatever label you prefer). The ego mind is splintered from this whole and according to ACIM has already been corrected. What we are experiencing is like a echo or memory of that which has already occurred. The only way out is through. This is my focus now – to keep moving forward! I know the truth now, I am not this body, I am free, I am just as God created me! What I have been and because I am still alive, am still witnessing, is this illusion called life. It is not good nor bad, it just is and will be till such time that it is not. Instead of getting, life is about giving that which one desires and in this process one gets what one needs. I no longer seek Love “out there”. I know it is who I am! The crying has stopped. And this is a good thing.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

OnenessMinistry.info & Transness.org

Realizations of Truth

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Welcome to the new ‘me’, I had a revealing dream last night, so I am reborn! My identity crisis slips away as I become more clear by the day. If you read my blog you know I follow the teachings of Jesus as told in A Course In Miracles (ACIM), so I do not identify with my body. Yet I seem to have one and as per the laws of this realm what you are born with is what you have to work with. I was born male so there ya go, I am male. (SURGERY DOES NOT CHANGE THIS) My desire to express as what this society deems feminine is not something that I can change. These desires do wax and wane… much like the moon. Thus my self identity as a male/woman. (How you identify me says more about who you are then who I am) Sexual orientation leans towards females, however some males are also attractive so I suppose this makes me Pansexual since I know the binary simply no longer applies. The important thing is I am allowing myself to express Love (agape) to all aspects of the One. (Life is not about intercourse, nor propagation. It is merely one path to God if used properly) I love all of you, me, US.

So how does this apply to our ‘reality’? As long as I live here in Colorado I will continue to maintain the (F) on my identification, but I know that it is as much a facade as a (M) would be. They are labels created by man so he could discriminate. Jesus did not speak of such things that separate us. I will continue to dress as it pleases me, because my comfort is yours. Sometimes more feminine than others, and to quote the Sikh Prayer for Peace:

“God adjudges us according to our deeds, not the clothes that we wear;

That truth is above everything, but higher still is truthful living.

Know that we attain God when we love,

and only that victory endures in consequences of which no one is defeated.”

My goals here in this realm continue to be inspiring others and thus myself. Caring for ‘other self’ as I would my own self. Putting ‘other self’ first which means I am conscious of your needs. Free will is the Highest Law of the Universe (Truthful Living), so my decisions take this into consideration first. If you need my help you must ask! If you ask, my answer is Yes, to the best of my ability. Faith is the key word in my life now. To be is to have Faith.

Love and Light, Sequoia

Now that I have Arrived

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Tropical Trail Does transition ever end? For those who are transgender this question will likely be answered differently over time. I used to think that it would all be different once I transitioned to living as the woman I am. Wrong. Well I suppose things are very different, but the things which really matter have not changed. I am still basically the same person, inside. My personality has changed a bit, however my thoughts and beliefs have not. If any change has occurred there it has nothing to do with being transgender. Thoughts and beliefs change because we choose them too. So let me get into the power of chemical wonder, hormones. You are what you eat and if you are taking hormones or even if you are getting them through the environment, food, drink, etc. things will change drastically. The question of which comes first is hard to prove if not impossible. Are we transgender because of environmental chemical influence or because of genetic, inborn causes? I feel it is a combination of both. And most likely it is a different combination of both for each of us. During transition our outer world and appearance changes drastically, but as for the inner world, not so much. So let’s make sure we are clear here, I am speaking of gender. My gender has not changed and is clearer now, so the success here is that I now know myself better than I ever have! Perhaps this is the point of the whole experience.

What is not so clear is my sexuality. I am attracted to the female form more so than the male form, but both are beautiful and enjoyable. The most attract feature to me is personality and chemistry. Certain people are just exciting to me for reasons I have no clue. So by definition this makes me Pansexual although lately I have chosen asexuality. All the books I read insist that sexual orientation is fixed at birth so who am I to argue? I will say that social expectation is a strong factor in shaping the behavior of an individual, especially when they are young. The fear of persecution has lead many a person astray, including myself. So now that I have arrived, (lol) Who am I? I am the same person who started this journey only I am more aware of my nature and my desires. I am a person who dresses and acts a certain way whether it conforms to social construct or not. I am a person who is being the most loving I know how and seeking to expand this state of being. I choose Love and forgive any other perception. I live in a loving world and for this I am deeply grateful.

Sequoia Elisabeth

OnenessMinistry.info and Transness.org

Unity in Gender Diversity

It’s Not About Surgery

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Anyone in the Transgender community knows what the treatment for Gender Dysphoria is. As stated by WPATH, Treatment for gender dysphoria varies with severity of symptoms, but may include counseling, crossdressing, contra-hormone therapy, and surgery. Here is an article which explains the nuances quite well. It is so very important to emphasize the counseling rather than the surgery in my opinion for several reasons. This obviously will be different for each person, so take this with a grain of salt.

The Transgender journey to me is all about acceptance, both of who you are and what you have to work with. So if someone goes out and modifies their appearance and/or function (SRS/GRS) does this really change who they are? This may or may not help to alleviate the perceptions of the individual and those who meet this transgender individual. From my experience, invasive treatment is really beside the point and offers nothing more than something to compare with. Meaning, you have a different presentation and perhaps this feels good at first, but after a while you realize it just doesn’t matter. The roles you play are different, but you are still that same person at the core (with the same mental/emotional issues). Let’s face it, we are all playing roles in society and these roles seem to define us, but do they really? Does the fact that you are working as a mechanic or a mother or a manager really make you who you are? Or is it the other way around? You define the roles! At least this is the way it should be in my opinion. So by defining a role you decide if women are good mechanics or if hair dressers are bitchy. You; not your gender defines the role.

So the transition journey is really about coming to an acceptance of who you are or to say it more simply, liking yourself! We all go through this process and transgender people have just chosen to do it by way of gender. Substance abuse is another way to “find yourself” and come to an acceptance. There are many challenges we each unconsciously choose as our own method of spiritual growth! You are probably engaged in this process right now in your own way. The good news is no matter which path you choose the Universe conspires to make it the most productive learning lesson it can be.

We each define our own parameters for what is acceptable to a certain extent; however we are each a part of the whole and society is one aspect of that whole. So why do we allow society to dictate these parameters? Because we are part of the whole! So then it becomes a matter of conformity. I find it interesting that most people consider themselves non-conformists, but they are still a part of society and in their own way conforming to the greater whole (myself included). It is my understanding that we each make up one part of this whole and that we are each different.

So why not just be this different person and stop trying to conform to a perceived reality? This is in fact my vow, to be myself and be happy with who I am. Yes, I was born male and yes I feel most comfortable in women’s clothing, so what? I am attracted to loving people, not to body parts. I wish to be loved just like everyone else! And I wish to be that loving person within my own comfort zone, which with some effort is constantly expanding.

The point here is that surgery and hormones are a tool for an effect, but they do not change who you truly are! If others have difficulty with your appearance or behavior that is actually their issue not yours. Continue being your authentic self and loving it! Why? Because the other choices are just not any fun, at least not in the long run.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Like a Reversible Sweater

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Human beings are like a reversible sweater. They have both a man and a woman within each of them or if you prefer a feminine and a masculine. This has nothing to do with sex which is nothing more than the physical aspect of the body. It is time we started thinking of human life as multiphasic. We each have many levels which shift and flow over time, some of us more than others of course. Some never reverse their sweater and thus never get to know their full self. Part of doing inner exploration is opening all the doors without fear and embracing what you find. The spirit of acceptance without any preconceived ideas of what is proper or right is a must. The idea of congruence must also be questioned. Why do men have to have penises and women vaginas? Like I said sex and reproduction is a whole other topic and at this stage of the game is becoming irrelevant with over 7 billion people on earth. So let us move on beyond this primal need to replicate. Instead let us get to know the self before we go about making more selves.

What I know is that there is much more to life than this concept of “me”. I exist beyond this body and will always exist with or without the body I currently experience as “me”. I am not “me”, nor am I “you”. We are One. The understanding of Oneness changes the entire game… it changes everything! There is no “me” or “you”, only we. Like a kaleidoscope of humanness we are constantly shifting and morphing, so to get stuck on one expression of this is a game ender. The meaning we place on words is not fixed, but many think that it is. You are not the “you” you believe yourself to be!! Let it go. And above all else stop trying to “fix” yourself. We are here to discover (dis-cover) who we are, not to manipulate or manufacture a self (a false self). Surgery, drugs, and other external methods just end up hiding the true self, the authentic self. Please do not be drawn into this game of the “six-million dollar person”. No other can make you better than you already are! Love that which is the self. In order to do this you must really get down and see yourself… look within, without expectations, fear, or limits. Feel who you are… close your eyes and be not deceived. Let the Journey begin… once again, for like all journeys they tend to repeat.

Unity in Gender Diversity

Identity Crisis

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Here are two definitions of what a girly girl is which came up in a discussion recently. We discovered that we each had a slightly different understanding of this term even though most of the group identified with being a girly girl or at least wanting to be this. The question I posed was Why?

“Girly girl is a slang term for a girl or woman who chooses to dress and behave in an especially feminine style, such as wearing pink, using make-up, using perfume, dressing in skirts, dresses and blouses, and talking about relationships and other activities which are associated with the traditional gender role of a girl.” (Wikipedia.com 2014)

“Girly Girl: an extremely feminizing girl. A girly girl’s favorite color is usually pink, but also likes other pretty colors like purple, baby blue, and pastels. A girly girl: Cares a lot about how she looks and dresses; wears very feminine, cute, stylish, and sexy clothes like skirts, dresses, cute tops and stylish low-rise jeans; likes wearing high heels; wears a lot of pink; does her hair up nice; wears a lot of makeup; does her nails a lot; loves jewelry; usually not into sports; reads fashion magazines; makes herself as little like a guy as possible; usually into guys as more than just friends but doesn’t have to be into guys like that because sometimes a girly girl can be a femme or lipstick lesbian. Also a girly girl says “like”, “totally”, “Oh my gosh!”, “Oh my God”, and “whatever!” a lot.” (Urban Dictionary 2014, grammar corrected by author)

Ultimately it comes down to being Authentic. Is this ‘Girly Girl’ your authentic self? It is also interesting to note that many transwomen have been in relationships with them or want to be. The question that nags at me is how does this relate to identity? Does our partner really have to resonate with our own identity? Isn’t this what these relationships really represent? Most people choose a partner who embodies their own ideals! People who they feel fill a void within themselves.

Perhaps this is what drives the Transgender identity. Sometime a rock is a rock. Is a rock ever really a tree? The topic of gender identity can be a confusing one and I certainly do not claim to have it all figured out. All I can do is work from my own feelings and understandings. So I invite you to reflect on this topic, to question reality, and to search for your soul!

This quest has been a lifetime journey for me and I welcome the perspective of others who also consciously ask “who am I”? If you identify as a ‘Girly Girl’ what does this mean to you and why do you identify this way? However you identify… why have any identity at all? Is it possible to not have an identity? Maybe you could un-identify yourself with anything! The question then moves to how does one relate to the world?

A Course In Miracles (ACIM) states all identity separates and this is insane! The idea of being separate from anything else is exactly what the Course is undoing. Nothing is separate from Source (God). God is all there is, so since there is nothing else to be separate from this idea is false. Perhaps then the only identity we need is “I am”. The name of God is “I am that I am”. When embraced with a comma we experience true reality… “I am that, I am”.

Sequoia Elisabeth J

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Why Did You Transition?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition is a process everyone goes through at one point or another on the ‘Journey of Love’. Speaking through the perspective of one who has transitioned gender I must question this entire process and I do quite often! Here are my thoughts on the subject, mostly directed to other Trans* individuals.

Often I hear other Trans* people saying they transitioned to be themselves or to be true to their soul. While I do believe this is true on the soul level, it is not the reason we transition on the physical level or even the emotional level. Let’s be honest with each other here, esp. with yourself. Just admit that you transitioned in an attempt to fit into society. What you really desire is to “belong”. There are always those who transitioned for the sex, but that is another story.

This is flawed on several levels. First off, as a member of the Human Race you belong. As a soul body you belong and are loved by many other souls, esp. those in your soul group. Whether those souls are with you on this journey is not important. Connection exists always, even and esp. after death. You are never alone.

By our very nature we (trans*persons) are a contradiction to known and accepted norms, but in some way each individual is different. No body fits in! So I ask you, “what is the truth here?”, “why did you transition?” Perhaps it was to make life easier or so you thought. Here is my reasoning: I am very feminine anyway, so why shouldn’t I just be the feminine male was born as and stop hiding my feelings. I used to tell myself, feminine men are sexy to other women, we have so much in common and it is easy to relate to one another. This theory was supported in two marriages which did not fail till it came to sex. In fact, those around me also supported this perspective, feminine men are attractive… just look at how many female friends gay men have! OK, so that is all well and good, but I am not attracted to men, but to women. Does this make me a lesbian? A male lesbian just flies in the face of reason!

So being honest here, perhaps you are attracted to men, but this being unacceptable in the average hetero world, your feelings have been repressed or you are attracted to females strictly because you are in a male body. So there you have it, a female brain, male genitalia and thus the confusion! Do we follow the brain or the body? This is of course not including the heart which in the end really runs the show. So no we don’t transition for sex, this is about gender after all.

Incongruency is the real issue for Trans* persons. The real honest reason we transition is in order to attain a livable level of congruency. I am not convinced I will ever feel congruent in a human body, but there again that is another story. Perhaps you feel the same way. The bottom line is simply in order to relate in a dualistic world you must be one or the other and since you don’t fit where you are, then you must fit as the other! Wrong!!

Here is another view point using history as our guide. Diversity, variance, and random order are the very nature of life on earth. There is no duality, but our society has forced one into existence and when you force things, they break. Our society is broken in more ways than one. Can we fix it? Do we really want to? It really is not hard you know. Looking back Native peoples have embrace their Trans* members for the most part as they found their way depending on their inner nature. Each culture naturally stratifies with each member finding their place based on the greater societal structure. So where does this put Trans* members of our society (western society)?

What if from a personal perspective you simply accepted things as they are. If your male yet feminine, then just accept that. If you feel one way, but are equipped in the opposite then accept this as nature’s choice. If you are Ok with it, others will be too. At first you will probably experience resistance but with consistency things will change and you will find congruency with not only yourself but the world at large as well. Surgery is a tool to make the illusion of this world seem congruent, but if you do not make this shift in your own consciousness all you have done is deepen your ego’s hold on you. So when you say you are being true to yourself, then be honest and figure out who you are! I can assure you it is not your ego!

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂