Oneness Ministry

We are One

Jun 9

Differences?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Many people you meet are different than you in many different ways.  They could be different in physical appearance, cultural behavior, attitudes, beliefs, sexual preference, and social presentation.  Do you look for these differences or do you look for what you have in common?

The best way to make a friend is to find something in common and compliment them in some way.  The nuances and personalities of individuals are what make life interesting.  Without these things life would get pretty boring.  So how does one handle being in a social situation with someone who is different?  This will be as unique as the individual’s, however here are some pointers that may help.

Show respect and treat them how you would want to be treated.  If you are curious as to why an individual would pierce certain body parts and wear leather or tattoos then it is certainly ok to ask, however do so in a way that shows respect.  Make no statements of judgment or offers of opinion unless it is a compliment.  Your attitude will show in your mannerisms and if you are authentic and honest then you will most likely be well received. 

The same goes for those who are the target of questions.  The way in which you respond will stay with the person and likely form their opinion of like individuals they may meet down the road.  In a way you are a spokes person for humanity and this is something to keep in mind. 

Physical appearance, cultural behavior, attitudes, beliefs, sexual preference, and social presentation are things that are not contagious so do not treat them as such.  You will make choices as to how you live your life and present yourself in public so give others the freedom to do the same.  Working in a cubicle next to a person who identifies as gay has no bearing on your sexual preference, unless you say it does.  Maybe you find him attractive.  Maybe you have conservative religious beliefs and find him objectionable.  Either way he deserves your respect and common courtesies at all times whether in public or if you are with him alone in the elevator. 

We each are who we are and that does not change because of proximity.  It has been discovered recently that gender identity and sexual orientation are determined before birth and are hard wired into the brain.  So please understand that you are the way you are and simply embrace it.  While you are embracing who you are allow others to be who they are too. 

We can all live together with our divine differences easily or not.  Believing what a book tells you, some authority figure in a black robe tells you or even what a parent tells you is a formula for pain and suffering.  Make up your own mind, based on your own experiences and get many viewpoints on a subject that seems important to you.  Blind faith leads to destruction. 

Love is the answer to any challenge you are ever faced with.   

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Jun 8

Self Identity

by Sequoia Elisabeth

For those with Gender Identity issues understanding who you are is indeed a life long journey.  When you ask that profound question of “who am I?”, take a few minutes and feel the answer.  You may hear words, but instead of listening, simply feel. 

You are the only person who can truly know who you are.  No one can tell you although they may try.  This blog is about the journey of discovery in which one explores the inner depths of their own psyche and beyond.  As you may remember from earlier blogs, the mind is simply a tool used to interface with this environment, it is not who you are! 

Neither is the body “who you are”.   The body is simply a vessel which carries us about and to experience this world in which we live.  Our body has 5 senses, our mind has 6 and together they make up a complex system of collecting information about life.  Being human is all about the experience of life from every perspective and aspect.  So what does it mean to be a woman or a man?

This is the question that leads many gender variant individuals to therapy.  The odd thing is that most people would simply say “this is who I am” while looking in the mirror at their body, and really have no clue as to whether they feel like a man or woman!  You feel the way you do, so how do you know that is like a man or woman?  Who decided those parameters? 

The transgender journey is largely about accepting who you are, how you feel and the behaviors you are compelled to participate in.  Part of identity is self expression and this is often not a conscious decision, although sometimes it is.  For a man to have the desire to wear pantyhose or other woman’s clothing can be very confusing and frustrating.  The idea of being a woman trapped in a man’s body for me seemed absurd.  This question depends on how you define self. 

You are you and the rest is simply how you are experiencing the world.  The choice is yours how you experience the world and yet it is NOT.  It is like you have made the choice to get on a particular train (born male, female or intersex) and now you are having that experience.  The current choice comes in your attitude about the ride.  Are you going to enjoy it?  Will you jump off the train?  Will you feel sorry for yourself because you choose the “wrong” train?  Have you ever started on a trip and then forget where you were going before you got there?  Then you end up standing in the middle of the sidewalk wondering how you got there?  This happens more than we are willing to admit, especially in life’s journey. 

The next step is to choose again and move on with a renewed vigor for our new goal.  Happy to just be alive!  Paying attention to every little feeling and thought.  Not judging them but just noticing them and using them as a guide to our next step.  …Row…Row…Row…your…boat…gently…down…the…stream

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Jun 4

Possible Challenges

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The most difficult aspect of transition is probably going to be different for each person, however I will attempt to make a few generalizations here so that you will be aware of possible challenges along the road.   If you have an insight into possible challenges in transition feel free to comment below. 

The transition from one sex to the other can be a very emotional one fraught with trials and tribulations. Or it can be a simple process of shifting the physical body to better represent the inner gender identity.  It is important to realize here that gender is fixed in your brain before you are born.  The physical sex appears to be fixed but in fact can be altered to match the gender identity fairly easily. 

What happens to most transgender individuals is that they are conditioned by society to conform to the role determined by the organs between their legs.  Sex organs are for two purposes, procreation and enjoyment.  It is no accident that procreation is fun.  This assures the perpetuation of the species.  Whoopee 😉  The mental aspects of sexual attraction and role play are complex.  Sexual orientation like gender identity is fixed at birth, so it is the melding of society’s views with personal views that make this complex. 

The transition journey is one of releasing society’s views and living an authentic life which is true to your inner feelings and identity.  This begins with acceptance of both yourself and others.  If someone no longer wishes to be your friend then allow them that space and focus on accepting your natural self. 

In order to replace a glass of orange juice with apple juice you must first empty out all the orange juice.  This process creates a void which is to be filled by the apple juice.  The space is filled at all times, so as one leaves another fills the void.  Transition is much like this.  For a Male to Female transition as the male persona is released this creates a void for the natural persona to fill in.  Substituting another false persona, say of a certain female role is no better than the false male persona.  The point is to allow the natural persona to develop as it would have if the body parts had matched from birth. 

The best advice for allowing this process freedom to evolve is to let go and release any judgment.  Stop trying to please others and simply go with the flow.  Pay close attention to what brings you Joy.  This is best described as a feeling of contentment and gentle peace within your body, centered in your heart. 

For those with an overactive mind, release is a process of patience and persistence.  Make all thoughts OK while relaxing and focusing in the general moment.  If specific thoughts creep in and they likely will, consciously release them.  Say to yourself, “I release any thoughts of how my life should be.  I am open to my inner most gifts and allow them to express naturally.” 

I wish you Peace and Joy on your journey of Love.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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May 17

Projection Power

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The power of projection

If you read my blogs regularly then you know that I am a big proponent of doing mirror work.  What you may or may not be aware of is the fact that the world is one big mirror.  As you go about your day be aware that you created all that you are experiencing.  More importantly that big jerk who gave you a hard time at the market this morning did you a favor.

He showed you where your thoughts are.  He revealed your insecurities and gave you the opportunity to forgive him knowing full well that he is part of the grand design, while at the same time gaining wonderful insight into issues you need to work on.  It is actually fairly easy to see this dynamic once you are aware of it.

What may be more difficult seeing is the dynamics of personal relationships.  This is especially true for those we love and live with everyday.  When your partner forgets to flush the toilet or they leave their clothes on the bathroom floor, what do you do?  How do you handle this divine gift?  Let’s say you blow up and yell at them complaining that they are a slob and you are tired of always cleaning up after them.  You bluntly ask them “do you think I am the maid”?  What just happened here?

Obviously there was no communication and deeper than that your feelings are a guide.  Often how we feel about our partner is really how we feel about ourselves.  Projection in the psychological sense is “the tendency to ascribe to another person, feelings, thoughts, or attitudes present in oneself.” (Dictionary.com 2010)  This can be tricky, although once you become aware of this tendency, (we all do it to some extent), then your behavior will change and you will have better relationships as a result; not only with others but with your self as well.  Shining the light of awareness on your issues takes the energy out of them.  When you redirect this energy toward loving both yourself and others, the road smooths out. 

On some level even the guy in the market was reflecting your thoughts and feelings.  If someone becomes violent with you it is your own fear that is being reflected.  You are your own worst enemy.  We all deal with fear, however those who consider themselves different in some way, whether it is true or not, need to learn this lesson for surely as you are reading this your feelings boomerang. 

 🙂   Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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May 5

Coming Out

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Coming out transgender is received differently than coming out GLB, except for your partner your Gender Identity has more effect on people you know than your Sexual Orientation does.  Some people may confuse the two and make assumptions, so I offer these things to be aware of when you make the leap.  Plan ahead and make sure you are OK with it first. 

  1. Be prepared for shock and disbelief, especially from those closest to you.  Think of how shocked you’d have been to learn of something like this about someone you thought you knew very well.
  2. Some will feel angry and betrayed and may judge you harshly.  Try to meet their anger with compassionate understanding.  Remember that they may be fearful of ‘losing’ someone of great importance in their lives.  Recognize that your transition may cause pain and hardship.  Acknowledge this pain and avoid being defensive. 
  3. Try to resist reacting with anger, as this will only make things worse.  Others are justified in feeling angry about your transition, just as you are justified in feeling the need to transition.
  4. At times you may feel euphoric about your self-discovery.  Caution against assuming others are feeling the same way about you.
  5. Expect skepticism with regard to the necessity of transitioning.  This is a natural reaction – treat it with patience.  These days, most people understand that being gay is not a matter of choice and being closeted is not healthy, so it may help to compare the need for gender transition with the need to accept one’s sexual orientation.  Treat efforts to “dissuade” you with good humor and respect.
  6. Be prepared for suggestions that your transition is a selfish choice.  If you feel you had no other choice, don’t be afraid to say so.  Ultimately, only you are qualified to judge this.  
  7. Your transition will be bewildering to many, who will look to you to help sort out their feelings.  If you maintain a positive, good-humored attitude about your transition, others are more likely to respond in kind.  Be positive about how you expect your transition to affect your life.  This is very important both for you and for others acceptance.
  8. For many, adjusting to your transition will take some time.  Keep in mind that you have spent much of your life dealing with these issues, while most have given them little thought.  For those who are disturbed by your transition, taking your time may help more than anything else you could do.
  9.  Feel free to offer information about being transgender, but don’t assume that it’s welcome.  Make clear that you welcome questions and are happy to discuss your transition.  Many are full of questions, may even be fascinated, but are reticent about prying.  When explaining transgender, do it with grace and sensitivity – don’t lecture or pontificate.
  10. As a transperson, you probably have thought more about what “gender” means than most folks.  Many will learn a thing or two about themselves when you share your experience with them.  Remember to be interested in their growth around your transition, just as you want them to be interested in yours.
  11. The type of relationship you establish before you come out will likely have a big effect on how the coming out is received.
  12. Some of your family and friends may celebrate your courage, rejoice in your finding yourself, and congratulate you on your breakthrough.  Don’t forget to show them how much their support means to you.

I Bless your journey of Love and offer my assistance if needed.  Visit my website, Unity in Gender Diversity for contact info and more information on transition both spiritual and gender related. 

I Love YOU,  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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May 3

Gender is a Rainbow

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Are you man or woman? How about male or female? Just because you are male does that mean that you are a man?  What if you have female sexual organs but feel like neither a woman nor a man?  Who makes up these rules anyway?

Think of a scale with 0 being in the middle and 100% Male at one end and 100% female at the other.  Now stand in the middle and let go.  Which way do you move?  How far?  Are you in the same place as you were a year ago?  How about 20 years ago?

Gender Identity is your sense of being man, woman, neither or both.  It is a scale of masculinity and femininity which can only be determined by you and your feelings.  How do you feel compelled to express yourself?  Which roles are you most comfortable in?  If you were to ask these questions to every person in the world, you would likely get answers all over the scale with most being near the middle of each direction and only a few at each end, but more in the middle than at the ends.

 

Gender is a rainbow of identity and everyone falls somewhere on the scale, but not necessarily in congruence with your body.  Transgender individuals often fall within the middle 50% of the chart, but opposite of their birth sex.  A person who is right in the middle would be considered androgynous.

You may be asking, “This is all fine and dandy, but how does this affect me?”  This matters because it affects your relationships and how you relate to others.  The person you meet at work or at the mall may appear to be male or female but in fact be transgender.  Putting that person into a box is the temptation and often in our society it is the teaching.  What I am asking of you here is to see the rainbow and accept it.  We all are going to have a different gender identity so it only makes sense to honor the differences while seeing the similarities.  You have many ways of relating to this person and gender is but one.

See what you have in common with the person you are talking with, meeting for the first time, or sitting next to on the bus.  Our gender identity is expressed in the way we dress, talk, and act.  If this happens to be different than you, which most of the time it will be, accept them and find out who they are before putting them in a box or labeling them.

No matter what label or box they end up in make it OK and live by the golden rule.  Now that you understand gender apply the same guidelines to sexual orientation and please do not assume you know one or the other. Sexual Orientation has little to do with ones Gender Identity!

Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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Apr 24

Sexual Orientation

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Sexual expression comes in many different flavors, and is possibly as unique as the number of people on our beautiful blue planet.   The old school wants us to conform to the old ‘boy meets girl, girl has baby’ scenario and while that does serve its purpose as a race we are moving beyond that.  The world may appear to be a binary system with only men and women, but I can assure you it is not. 

Sexual orientation is an aspect of gender that Dr. Carl Bushong describes as “Brain Sex”.  ‘Our love/sex patterns, and how we relate to others on a social and interpersonal as well as sexual level, often referred to as our “Sexual Orientation”.’  (1995) This aspect, like gender identity, is hard wired from birth, which means our brains, being much like a computer, are programmed to be attracted to certain physical attributes, genders and personalities. 

To restrict every person on the planet, all 6.8 Billion +, to being either heterosexual or homosexual is unrealistic.  Instead it is much more feasible that each person on earth has their own unique sexuality which falls into several categories.  The categories as they exist today are, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, and pansexual.  There are a few other words being used but overlap these so I will stick with this list.  Within each category will be a sliding scale so that each person falls somewhere on the scale and is not necessary stuck exactly in that spot, although they will stay within a category. 

Just briefly hetero means opposite sex attraction, homo means same sex attraction, (a) means no sex attraction, (bi) means both sexual attraction, and pan means all sexual attraction.  I do not like the term bi sexual because it implies there are only two sexes, male and female.  This is the old world paradigm and no longer works (if it ever worked).  Pansexual includes everyone and applies to anyone that is sexual but not strictly attracted to the opposite or same sex. 

The whole labeling game gets a little absurd after a while because the terms become contradictory and putting people into boxes is both confining and inaccurate. For instance, a transwoman who is attracted to women is lesbian or are they heterosexual since they were born into a male body?  And what about the woman who was attracted to this person not realizing they were transgender?  Does that make them a lesbian?  So what if it does? 

The world is coming out!  We are becoming more aware of gender identity and sexual orientation, which is leading to more understanding and eventually to more acceptance.  I ask only that you stay away from the labels as much as possible and simply love the person.  This is why I like the Pansexual label best because it is defined as “A sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.” (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexuality#English 2010)

Who you are attracted to should not be grounds for discrimination.  Could you imagine if the world judged you on the grounds of your attraction to hair color?  “Oh you like redheads, uggg or ewww”!   Being gay or lesbian is no different since you have no business what they do behind closed doors.  LOVE the person and stop separating!  We are One, one big family of Human. 

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Apr 23

What Next Cont.

by Sequoia Elisabeth

By loving a transgender person you have embarked on a grand journey of discovery that has no bounds.  We are all on a journey to discover who we are.  In the process of thinking and doing, we see who we are not.  Along the way many personas emerge, and with each step you are closer to who you really are.  In the end we discover that there is really only one, and this is GOD.

Who you are attracted to guides you closer to discovering your inner self.  Since the world is an inside job, we must look within to find the source.  We do this by looking around us and discovering what we are creating!  It is much like a house of mirrors that distorts and exaggerates our true nature.  This is where we resort to our feelings and let them guide us because our eyes betray. 

Close your eyes and connect to your feelings right now.  I will wait.  …. Take a least a minute to feel deep inside.   Identify each feeling and simply acknowledge it.  Maybe it is calm, maybe it is anger, maybe it is affection but no matter what it is say “I see you, and all is well”.  Be careful not to judge here, but simply observe.  Make a list of all the feelings you observe and yes this may take longer than one minute, it is worth every second.  The deeper you look the more you will find, so let consciousness flow.  Now set this list aside for later use and go about your day, still making no judgments.  Anger is not bad and loving affection is not good, unless you say so, which just happens to be the next step.

Somewhere in that soup of feelings are desires and dreams.  Get in touch with those next and this can be done at any time, but usually best when things are quiet.  Notice what feels good and what seems to cause pain.  Certain thoughts or dreams will excite you and make you feel lighter, write these down.  Other thoughts will scare you and can be painful, write these down also.  Action is not required at this stage so just relax and feel.  Take your time and keep these writing in a journal or diary.  It is important to come back to them at some point though. 

The next step is to embrace these feelings and explore each one all the while being aware of your thoughts, emotions and feelings.  If you are male but have the desire to dress as a woman then do so and get help if needed there are links on my website.  If you are female but feel that you should have a penis then try one on, most XXX video stores have strap-ons you can purchase(for adults only!).  Take your time and notice how you feel along the journey.  If you are adolescent then it is even more important to take your time and not to run from your feelings.  Write to me if you need someone to talk to, I am happy to help. 

This process of looking within and feeling your feelings can take a lifetime, so do not get discouraged.  Remember it is about loving all of your aspects and simply being who you are.  Let go of expectations and relax, simply be yourself!

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Apr 22

What Next?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Having decided that you are indeed transgender, what next?  For those who do not know, it is not always easy to accept that you are different than most people.  I mean we grow up knowing who we are and relating to the world through our eyes but we do not know what a woman is supposed to feel like or how a man is supposed to feel.  We have no frame of reference as a child. 

Gender is something that only the individual can decide or more accurately discover!  I am speaking of gender identity which has little to do with sexual orientation.  That will be an entirely different blog.  Our physical sex does not determine our gender identity and I have a great article explaining all that here on my website. 

There is an innate feeling of misalignment for the transgender person, however so many of us want to fit in believing that this determines our love.  We often think that acceptance comes from people around us like our parents and siblings.  I am here to tell you that it does not.  Acceptance comes from within our own minds and hearts after we have come to terms with our true nature.  While transgender may be a variation of natural selection it is not wrong, bad, a disorder or a disease.  It is simply who you are! 

Once you have discovered who you are, and transgender individuals often have a sense of this at an early age, the journey becomes accepting yourself; loving the differences while noticing the similarities also, because acceptance is loving the whole package.   Honor the feelings you have inside by allowing them to express.  Look deep inside and embrace your findings with courage.  If you need help along the way ask!  This inner journey is something that everyone must do in order to grow and to expand their understanding of who they are. 

If you are someone who loves a transgender person then I salute your choice and your bravery.  Love is not about right or wrong it is about discovery of the deeper self.  It is a two way journey and a blessing for everyone participating.  Love is unconditional and it often chooses us, by this I mean we fall into it quite unknowingly.  Once there it can be a wonderful and magical experience when embraced.  The unknown can be scary so let me assure you that nothing but good comes from Love.   To be continued….

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Apr 9

Guilty by Association

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Our thoughts are more powerful than we know and one of the principles which can assist us on our transition is “guilt by association”.   When you are aware of this principle you can use it to your advantage instead of suffering its consequences. 

This principle works by proximity, be it thought or physical location.  Whomever or whatever we associate with we become like.  The reason for this is we learn from our surroundings and the behavior of those we spend time with.  This learning is unintentional most of the time, however when used constructively it can be very powerful.  The concept of apprenticeship works this way.  When we wish to learn something new the best way is to find a teacher who can show you the “ropes”. 

For instance, a person transitioning from male to female will benefit from being around other MtoF transsexuals and other women.  You may have heard the expression, “hanging out with persons of like mind”, which is precisely what we are discussing here.  This concept can be used in a variety of ways. 

For those who desire to start their own business, finding others who are in that business to associate with will make their likelihood of success so much greater.  Or if you are quitting smoking then you will want to stay away from other smokers and places that are associated with smoking like the bar or buddies who smoke. 

You may remember stories of gangs like “West Side Story” or “Boyz in da Hood” and if you hang out with a particular group then you are guilty by association!  Be careful the groups you hang out with and make sure you wish to be like them.  This goes in every situation whether it is on the playground, at church or at work.  I suggest hanging with people you want to be like, so if you desire to be successful then hang with successful people.  If you like art then hang out with artists, take classes in art, collect art, go to art parties.  This process should be fun when you are using it consciously. 

To close my discussion of this principle I will make a gentle warning.  If you associate with people who like to “raise a ruckus” like activists for example, then do not be surprised if you get more attention than you like.  Things can quickly go from fun to being arrested for disturbing the peace or worse.  If you see things going too far it is up to you to decide it is enough and put a stop to it.  The best method is to simply leave.  Just be aware of who you are and who you are hanging out with and ask yourself, is this who I am? 

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Apr 8

The Art of Observation

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The art of observation is our best tool in transition.  Children and babies use this technique and so should we.  So what do I mean “the art of observation”?  It is really very simple and it goes like this.  Of course we must know what our desired result is to start with.  It is like writing a good book, you start with the ending!

Let’s use the example of male to female transition.  I know I am a woman in a male body, so I hold a vision of the woman I feel myself to be.  I may even get a picture and keep it with me.  I share my vision with others who are supportive.  I desire to express myself more appropriately as the woman I am, however since I have a male body I have learned how to be a man not a woman.  By using the art of observation I simply observe women in action, walking, talking, getting angry, laughing, smiling, working, dressing, shopping etc.  It is good to choose a woman who you would like to be like, a role model.  Most of us use our mothers since we see them every day and this is precisely what I did.  I have always known I was like mom so she is the one I learned from just as any daughter would do, even though she thought I was her son. 

She taught me to coordinate colors and styles, how to cook, how to clean, and all the usual housekeeping tasks because she wanted me to be self sufficient.  What she did not realize is that she taught me how to act like a lady in public, how to walk like a lady, hand & body gestures, ways of styling my hair, going to the salon every 2-3 wks, and the list goes on.  You get the idea now, that we watch our role models every move and copy it!  The result will be as good as our choice in role models.  We will obviously have our own personality, likes and dislikes, however even most of these are learned from our parents and family or the people we are around the most.  If you were raised by your grandmother then she will be who you learn from. 

If there are traits you do not like, then you can pick and choose just as you would in a buffet line!  You may decide that you wish to be like Lady Gaga or Madonna, it really does not matter.  Just be observative and in the end you will create the person of your dreams.  The secret to it all is being aware enough to make the observations consciously so that you can incorporate them into your behavior.  Be very attuned to detail and notice the small things.  Life is full of nuance and that is the beauty of it all.  For more on awareness check out this article on Unity in Gender Diversity.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Apr 6

Is It Time?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

How do I know I am ready to transition?  What do you think about when you wake up in the morning?  What are you thinking about when you go to bed?  Are you thinking about it all through the day?  In this case you probably already have started your transition.  I of course am speaking of transitioning from male to female or female to male in order to express ones gender identity.

Many people who are not transgender ask the question, why do you need to transition at all?  To many TG’s the answer is obvious but let me just clarify.  Being transgender is living a lie unless we can express ourselves as who we truly are.  We need to transition as much as anyone needs to be understood and loved!  If you can imagine going through life without love, never being understood, not being able to express your ideas, and not being able to live your visions and dreams, then you know what it is like to not transition. 

There is an energy expressing in us, through us, as us and to withhold that energy is impossible.  It must be released or the person dies, or harms another.  It really is very simple, are you being the person of your dreams?  If not, then why?  Are you fulfilling your destiny?  If you are truly a transgender person and you are living your birth sex then no you are not fulfilling your destiny. 

This is not something that pops up at the age of 35 or 40 all of sudden.  This is something that has been with you since birth and you have been denying it.  If you have no memory of having gender doubt or feelings of not being in the right body then you are not transgender.  And I mean constantly for years and not just a few times. 

The important thing is to live your life authentically and be true to who you are inside. In order to do this you must be honest with yourself.  And you must get to know yourself.  Some of us are so busy living stereotypes and expectations of others we don’t even know who we are.  Being alone is very important for this and I would suggest taking a camping trip or weekend in a remote place with no electronics.  Simply be with yourself, feel your feelings, write your thoughts down, find things that you enjoy.  How are you creative?  What are your best features?   What would you like to share about yourself with the world? 

Once you figure out who you are, then share that with those closest to you.  Find those who are supportive and be willing to let go of those who are not, and this sometimes means letting go of those closest to you, parents, children, spouses, family.  You deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are!   Please do not hide from the world.  You are loved and our purpose here is to share that love.  Being Transgender is a gift, just like being a genius or a natural athlete.  If all the above describes you then maybe it is time to transition. 

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Apr 3

The Essence of Transition

by Sequoia Elisabeth

So what is transition really?  Ok, so it is a change, but what does that mean?  Change is the most constant force in the Universe!  By transition do we mean a flower blooming?  Or a child growing to an adult?  Not really, although those can be thought of as transitions.  Let’s go deeper and be a bit more specific.  The transition I am speaking of today is gender. 

In one way the transition is not about change at all, but about awareness.  Just being aware of what already is.  Our core person does not change; it is who we are.  Like peeling the layers of an onion the transition journey is about looking deeper within and throwing away the false self.  We have many false identities not just one.  Getting caught up in this outer world is so easy with all the roles we have thrust upon us.  

“Real” gender transition is about removing the false persona, or male identity (for MtoF) which we created to “fit” into the world based on the existing rules.  Removing the veil and allowing our authentic self to emerge is what the journey is all about.  Growing up takes time so transition does not happen overnight, however it does happen a lot faster than the first time around, unless you are one of the lucky ones who have not allowed the veil to be drawn.  When we start young the false persona is not created, but we still must be aware of our authentic self and make sure that is who we are expressing.

Transition is a natural process that really needs no assistance other than deep awareness.  Are you aware of how you feel?  What makes you happy?  Have you walked down that road and deeply enjoyed the journey?  If you are male transitioning to female then dress up and see how it feels.  Know as much as you can what you are getting into (or vice versa guys).  Letting go of your male persona is like trying to escape a swarm of mosquitoes!  It can drive you insane! 

Sometimes guidance is necessary along the way, so please get help if you can.  Discovering the aspects of you that are false can be a long road and not an obvious one.  The most important aspect of the transition journey is to be authentic and natural.  Authenticity involves following your bliss, and doing that which brings Joy to your heart.  Let go of any desire to play a role or attempt to fit other people’s expectations.  It is not about being black or white (male or female), but about showing your true colors!

Blessings on your journey of Love      🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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Mar 29

When did it all begin?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

When does transition begin?  Does it have a beginning? Or an end?  Transition is a process of change, so it never really has a beginning or an end, because change is on-going.  Ever since the big bang the universe has been expanding and changing!  There is no end.

On a more personal level, your transition began the day you were conceived!  What we experience and often think of as a “transition” are cycles or phases of change.  These occur at many levels and often at the same time.  Our bodies are growing all the time no matter how old you are.  Even at the age of 100 your body is growing new cells to replace old ones and this continues till the old ones far outweigh the new ones, then that body dies and the cycle begins again, in a new lifetime.  This is all going on while we experience emotional changes, mental changes, and spiritual changes.  Transition is multi-dimensional.

For those of us on a gender transition journey, the word “transition” holds unique meaning.  For most of us this journey begins when we start on hormones, however I will state that the first stage or cycle is questioning.  On my website I have an eleven step transitioning guide that outlines the steps as I see them based on my research and experiences.  There could be more or less steps; however, each phase is a transition in itself.  Take the hormones for instance; this phase or transition cycle has a specific start and significant steps along the path.  For those who have the surgery, the post op regimen will differ greatly from the pre-op cycle and the end is not the same for everyone.  Some post op transwomen take hormones the rest of their lives and others will stop taking hormones once they reach a certain age. 

The cycles have certain similarities between people, but each person will have specific differences in their transition cycles or phases.  Our experiences define us to an extent, but they are not who we are. Life is made up of one experience after another like the layers of an onion, only far more complex.  So when does transition begin?  It depends on which one you are speaking of and who you are asking!  Blessings on your journey of Love 🙂    Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Mar 27

Self Murder

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The Oneness perspective of suicide is when you kill yourself you are committing murder!  “Though salt not kill” is one of the Ten Commandments and this applies to you too.  From the perspective of oneness, we are all part of the one mind so what we choose to do will have ramifications for everyone on the planet and beyond. 

Everyone you meet is your mirror, so what you do to them is the same as doing it to yourself.  If you were to shoot someone dead, then in effect or metaphorically speaking you have just killed yourself.  This works in reverse as well.  If you were to shoot yourself dead, then you have just killed your neighbor. 

Love works this way too, so if you love yourself in effect you are loving the world.  If you love another person it is a way of loving “The One”, yourself.  This concept is so powerful and once embraced will change your life forever! 

Oneness can be and should be applied to every aspect of your life.  It is what we all desire more than anything else in the world, a feeling of being connected!  Most of us call this connection “Love”.  So the next time you say you hate someone or something, stop for a minute and contemplate the deeper meaning of this statement.  To hate anyone or anything is to hate the self, The One. 

The Buddhists teach this concept very well in their belief that harming even a fly or ant on the sidewalk is harming the one.  The dynamics of life are far beyond our comprehension at this point, but rest assured that everything, rock, plant, insect, animal and person is connected in a Divine fashion.  Our being conscious of this connection gives us the power to change the course of life on earth! 

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Mar 26

Suicide – Not A Choice

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition can get to be overwhelming at times which can lead a person to look for an escape.  The pain gets too great and the options get too few, so what’s a person to do?  Suicide thoughts creep in and suddenly thoughts of death (escape) become overwhelming.  It seems so easy, a few too many pills or the slice of a knife in the right spot or one pull of a trigger. 

Let me assure you there is nothing to escape from.  Suicide is not the answer you seek.  What I will tell you is that those feelings are stemming from isolation and fear.  There are always options!  In some strange way, feeling like suicide is actually an option can be comforting.  Just keep it as option “Z”.  I like to list my options for remedying my situation from A to Z, which gives me 26 options to choose from and reaching option “Z” is very unlikely.  Just knowing that you have that many options is comforting.

Talk to someone who can relate to your situation.  Share your thoughts and feelings with someone who cares.  Ask for other options that maybe you cannot see.  If for some reason you cannot find someone who cares, which is not unusual in this situation, talk to God, Holy Spirit, Allah, Buddha, Great Spirit, Goddess, or whichever Deity you relate to.  By sharing your troubles the burden you feel is lifted. 

Shifting your viewpoint will help you move beyond your feelings of hopelessness.  Embrace whatever change is knocking at your door.  Welcome it in and see how you can best participate in this transition.  An “I can” attitude or “I can, with help” attitude will go a long way to moving you beyond the depressive state you are in.  Allowing others to help you is part of the give and receive cycle that life runs on, when we withdraw from this cycle our life stops flowing and depression sets in.  Getting back into the flow of giving and receiving will help to alleviate any thoughts of suicide. 

When other people’s happiness becomes more important than your own the dark veil of depression will lift and the light of Joy will re-visit your life.  Caring about others in a healthy balanced way every day will assure that suicide thoughts never visit you again. 

Something that I realized when I was holding the barrel of a 357 in my mouth many years ago, I am being very selfish!  I am not hurting myself, instead I am hurting those I Love and those who Love me.  I could see them crying and I could feel the pain I would have brought into this world.  I asked myself, do I want to be the problem or the cure?  In that instant healing began and I put down the gun never to return to that point again. 

If those thoughts of suicide return and they have, all I do is remind myself that there are people who love me and hurting them is not the kind of person I choose to be.  I am alive because I have a gift to share with the world and when my time comes I will gladly go. 

“Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t.”
–Richard Bach

 

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Mar 25

Support Groups

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition can be difficult for those who are facing it alone.  In today’s connected world there is no reason to go it alone.  No matter what your challenge, there is some kind of support available online or in your town.  For those of you who live in Chicken, Alaska with a population of 10, I will suggest Holy Spirit.  Holy Spirit works for anyone anywhere.  For the rest of us, find a focused support group! 

For those lucky enough to live in a big city the resources are likely abundant.  Search the internet and find a support group near you to participate in.  Yes, participation is the key.  The groups I have attended have been professional and confidential.  One way to check them out before hand is to call the organizers and talk to them over the phone.  You can maintain your anonymity and get a feel for what to expect.  Taking a family member with you or finding someone to go with is another way to ease the awkwardness of the first visit.   Remember that everyone there had a first time to visit and if they can do it so can you. 

Chat forums have become a sort of a support group although with some of the language I have heard, they are sometimes more adverse than going to a physical location with people you know will be on their best behavior.  Still the discussion boards and blogs like this one can be a good source of support.  I am happy to chat with anyone, just comment here and we can chat sometime.

I cannot stress how wonderful it is to be in a group of your peers and be able to discuss things which have been bothering you but there was no one who understood.  I have grown tremendously since finding the support groups here.  With a little detective work support groups can be found in most places.  Try calling a professional in the phone book who specializes in your situation and asking if they know of any support groups.  Network with businesses who sell whatever is associated with your challenge.  For instance, stores that cater to crossdressers will know of the local support groups.  Mental health facilities know about the local drug and alcohol support groups as well as treatment centers.  Just start looking and you will find.  Once you find, be brave and go down there and participate, you will be glad you did.   😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Mar 23

Community Action

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Community action is a method I see many transgender people using to cope with their situation in life.  It is almost like they are called to do that work, and I am sure they are.  We are each on a unique journey of which some of those journeys are closely allied. 

My advice on community action is to follow your heart.  Do what feels right to you, but do not do it so that you belong to a group or fit in.  This is something that you do for yourself.  In fact everything you do is for you!  Think about that from the perspective of oneness.  That person you are helping is part of the One, All That Is, they are an extension of you. From this perspective community action is self love!

In a way this is a paradox.  In order to truly help yourself you must take care of others and the way you do this is to make sure your body is clean and healthy, you eat good foods and are living a happy life.  Narcissistic behavior is when you think you are all there is in the world and are obsessed with yourself.  Poor self worth is when you ignore your own needs and place others on a pedestal.  Balance needs to be obtained and maintained. 

Community has so much more value when we understand that we are all one.  Planet Earth is a living organism, and each of us is like a cell in Gaia.  Each and everything you experience here is a part of the whole.  If you lose a few hairs it is no big deal, but lose them all and you feel it.  Our skin is constantly dropping the dead cells and replacing them with new cells.  This is exactly like our Planet is losing people every day and replacing them with new births!  This holographic cycle is repeated throughout the Universe at every level from the microscopic to the galactic! 

Take a minute to feel your connection to all that is.  Know that you are a vital piece of the cosmic plan!  When you go out and participate in community activities, feel the connection to the plants and animals, and to each person you meet.  They are a reflection of who you are, who we all are, Divinity Expressed!

😉  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Mar 22

Community of One

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Social interaction is something that all humans need to survive.  We are social animals!  This need can be difficult to meet when you feel like an outsider or if you feel like you do not belong.  Finding your place in the world can sometimes be a life long journey, and it is worth pursuing.  We all have a reason for being and finding that can be one of the most satisfying things you can do in your lifetime.  If you need help with this I am happy to assist.

This journey begins within your own heart, not out in the world.  Those who look outside themselves for answers, go without.  Upon inner reflection and getting comfortable with yourself you can begin to explore the outer world.  Just because you are going through some motions like going to school, going to work, and doing activities does not mean you are exploring.  So what do I mean?  I mean once you discover who you are, sharing that with the world and looking for loving acceptance.  If you have found the acceptance within your heart then you will find it in the world. 

I like to think of my life as a rose bud unfolding, revealing its inner beauty.  So now that you have decided to share yourself with others then get out there and re-member.  Join groups that interest you and give your all.  Keep the groups limited to a few that you are passionate about and become passionate about them.  Volunteer in the community, be active, and most importantly do this from authenticity.  This means be honest with yourself about who you are and share that even if it is non-conforming.  It does not mean that you try to be different, it means that you be yourself without concern that you will be accepted, because you have accepted yourself! 

Once you have accepted yourself all else is gravy!  If someone objects or questions who you are that is fine, because what they think of you is none of your business.  Objections and resistance from the outer world is simply a sign that you have more inner work to do.  Do not waste your time attempting to change them, instead go within and change your own heart.  You will be amazed at the reception you get from the outer world when your inner heart is healed!             😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Mar 21

Let’s Review

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Coping tools for Transition are the main purpose of this blog so let’s do a review here.  Transition is all about change and can include anything from moving to a new city, starting a new job or embracing a change in physical gender.  There are no two transitions quite the same, so please apply these techniques to your situation. 

I have talked about many things so far, but the most important tools I have discussed are the 6 senses of the mind which began Feb. 2, 2010.  If you have not read these I would recommend you go to those blogs and give them a look.  The mind is a powerful thing to waste! 

The other tools I discuss are awareness, compassion, community, and Universal Laws.  The topics I discuss include Death, 2012, time, visioning, gratitude, unity, oneness, Love, morality, relationships, the transsexual transition, post-op regret/grief, jobs, societal perception, introspection, and journeys.

Looking over this list there are a few subjects I have not covered well and will be including in the days to come.  I will be talking about community, support groups, suicide, and anything that my readers suggest.  Having some feedback on subjects that you are interested in is most helpful, so please write to me and let me know.  If you found this blog without going to my website then please pop over and give it a look. Unity in Gender Diversity

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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