Oneness Ministry

What Is Gender, Part II

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Continuing with our look at What Gender is let us consider it more specifically. Gender Identity is a person’s innate sense of being masculine or feminine, which cannot be determined until the person is at least 3 years old and often it is 5-6 years of age before anyone is able to know the true gender. Since gender is an inner knowing of the individual no other person is able to determine the gender. It is up to the child to express their gender when they learn to speak. The Native Americans knew this and would not name their child until they were 4-6 years old in order to allow them to express their gender identity and find their place in the tribe. A baby name or generic name was used up until this time and often the naming involved the entire family including the child and sometimes the tribe. Once their name was given the person wore it like a badge of honor, because it reflected their very nature, their Great Spirit.

Context of usage is very important and I would like to clarify this right here. What I have described here is Gender Identity, what the parents are told at birth is the physical sex, how the person dresses is the gender expression and how this person acts in society is the gender role they are playing. So you must see the context of the word usage before you can understand which gender is being referred to. As I pointed out before the word sex has many uses so be sure to determine the context in which it is being used.

A vision of society I would like you to embrace is the Native American idea of allowing the child to choose, and get away from using physical sex to describe a child – most children as I stated above have no gender till they are 3-6 years old. As a parent, how do you know it is a boy or a girl? Fortunately the children being born today are more aware than ever before and they are expressing their gender identity at a very early age. Many parents understand this and respect their child, however others do not, so we each can help by raising the general knowledge of Gender and what that word means. I would love to see a society that reflects the wisdom of our ancient peoples by honoring gender identity and not assigning gender roles, instead allowing the child to choose the role that fits them.

A few words about the differences of gender role and gender expression, while they are similar they are different in that gender expression is about outer appearance and gender role is activity. So wearing make-up and female clothes is a female gender expression, while a female gender role would be cleaning house and babysitting. I hesitate to include this here as our roles and expressions are getting to be so varied and free. The old rules are breaking down, so we are seeing women in active military duty now while 20 years ago this was almost unheard of and men are cleaning house, washing dishes, and babysitting. The best way to put this is man and women are integrating now as a society and our roles and gender expressions are so much more open. New gender roles and expressions are emerging with each new soul born.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

What Is Gender, Part I

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What is gender and why do I care? Most people in society go about their business and never give their gender a second thought; however, I have a light to shine on this subject so we can all have a deeper understanding of who we are and why this is important. Every day we interact with any number of individuals and with repeat interactions we can say we know a person. The level of interaction will vary in importance and significance to us. This aspect of our being called ‘gender’ is actually an important function of how we react to others and how they treat us.

Of course gender is just one aspect of our nature, we have many others including but not limited to, personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, physical attractiveness, body habitus, sexual orientation, intelligence, common sense, and self-actualization. When we meet someone new a few of the first things we notice are the persons size, gender, attractiveness, and how comfortable they are with themselves. The package you present is a total summation of your nature and nurture. So some aspects are a gift from birth and others are learned along the way. The innate ones such as size, gender, sexual orientation, common sense, and physical attractiveness (for the most part) we must do our best to live with. This means personality, demeanor, attitude, physical sex, body habitus, intelligence, and self-actualization are learned. These are attributes of our nature that we have somewhat of control over. Gender falls in the attributes that are innate meaning we are born with our gender and we cannot change this.

If we look a bit closer we see that there are different aspects of gender that are important to our understanding, such as gender identity, gender expression, gender role, and physical sex. One of the challenges we have today is the popular confusion of gender and sex which are often used interchangeably. If nothing else I would like you to come away from this blog with an understanding of the differences of these two words. Sex is a word which has many usages and thus the confusion creeps in. In Dictionary.com thirteen different definitions come up with this simple 3 letter word, so I will not get into every definition here. When we are born the first thing the parents want to know is, “is the child a boy or a girl” and in this case we are talking about physical sex not gender identity or even gender role. Our physical sex is determined by the physical body parts we are given at birth, but with today’s new surgical techniques this can be changed if need be. Is a woman who has had a complete hysterectomy still a woman? Is this person still female? What factor is it that makes a person male or female? What makes a person man or woman? Where does gender fit in?

More next time as we explore gender identity and what it means to each of us.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Pain and Suffering

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The road is what you make it; however anyone can navigate a straight and level path. Perhaps the journey is not meant to be easy, but instead to be challenging, eventful, and fulfilling. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

This is an important distinction which I wish to make clear. Suffering is optional! My definition of suffering is avoidable pain. The example that best explains it is a pebble which has gotten into your shoe. It is large enough to cause a blister and perhaps eventually break the skin, whether you stop and remove the pebble or not is up to you. Leaving it in all day is suffering. With this said let us now consider muddier examples.

Say you were born with a birth defect like a cleft lip or missing fingers. The pain is indirect now and so the suffering is harder to avoid. Or say the defect is more profound such as Down’s syndrome. In these situations the pain is often more for the family than it is for the individual. The opportunity to grow extends to all those around this person. From my perspective it is a larger gift, if used in this way. The point here is each challenge is an opportunity to share Love (God’s Unconditional Love).

Now let us consider gender dysphoria or transgender/transsexual. The pain from this condition is often mental/psychological and so it is even further removed and harder to avoid. It is possible to go your entire life avoiding this gender confrontation, and some do this very thing. However now a days the treatment of hormones and surgery have become available to remove the physical distress this condition offers up. Since this is really a mental/psychological condition do the physical changes remove the pain or simply remove the obstacles associated with it? The latter would be my answer and so any treatment that does not include psychological therapies is useless in my opinion. Perhaps the psychological therapy is all that is really needed!

After many years of walking this road of gender dysphoria I have concluded the real message here is about Love and acceptance of the self. If you cannot accept yourself as you were born then accepting the body after surgery is simply another delusion. With this in mind, to run off and have surgery early on is simply perpetuating the problem instead of healing it! At some point surgery is a viable option, but not till and unless the individual is able to comfortably express love for the self. Perhaps this is the gift a therapist can most assist the individual with! The road to self-love is often a long one, however if gender dysphoria or any dysphoria for that matter is being experienced this is a sign, a call for help if you will.

When I first entered therapy for gender dysphoria I was told only about 5% of people successfully transition from man to woman or vice versa. This is because many are comfortable somewhere in between, so this is not to say they are unsuccessful, but simply they did not realize where balance would be achieved or that the journey was really about learning to love the self!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Porn and the Effects of Sex

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Recently I read a very interesting message about the energy exchange that happens with porn or any sexual fantasy. The object or subject of the act feels the energy (both parties feel it). An actual exchange of energy takes place on a mental/astral plane. The intent has a lot to do with the energy’s frequency. There is still much about this I do not understand, but I can attest to the energy exchange as I have been on both ends. Unfortunately this energy can be addictive working much like any other drug; however with a Loving intent and focused meditation the energy can be transformed for the positive. It is best to ask Holy Spirit to assist in this endeavor. The bible warns of worshiping idols and as history shows it, it is the men who fall prey.

The power of human sexuality is explained in this video, so I invite you to explore this energy at a deeper level. Then take this understanding to the experience of masturbation, either by yourself using your imagination or by using an image on the page of a magazine or monitor. It is like opening a door and releasing a vastly powerful healing energy. Focus on the healing aspects, the release of vital hormones, and brain chemicals that revitalize the body. Feel Love as you are doing it. Express Love in every action you take. This is where all is transformed to a higher vibration.

While having a partner makes the experience more profound, masturbation still serves its purpose and can be beneficial. Same sex partnerships can be beneficial as well depending on the energies of the partners. Remember that all attraction is magnetic in nature so the polarity will be opposite, even if the physical sex of each person is the same. Give the experience to Higher Spirit and allow this energy to guide the experience, surrendering to the forces of nature. A positive loving intention is most beneficial.

After the experience, let go and move on with your life holding no attachment to your partner and placing no demands on either yourself or them. Remember this is not idol worship; this is a sharing of being with no expectations or attachments. Love is unconditional… the purer the Love and the deeper the sharing – the more profound the benefits.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity Discover Sex and Sexuality

Life is a Gift

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Life is a gift. What are you going to make of it? It is not like you were only dealt five cards. You have the entire deck in a certain order and it is up to you how you play them. There is an order to life because it is built on past lives and inherited traits. Think of it as a journey. A Journey of Love.

The choices are endless. You can go anywhere you like and do anything you choose. The price (consequences) will vary. By now you have discovered the ripple effects of your actions, so choose consciously. This is like being careful but with added consideration of all factors. Or at least as many as you can be aware of.

The transgender journey can be quite the challenge; however it is my belief that it is also a great gift. Purpose lay behind every choice and every action. Do you know the purpose of your journey? I can only really speak of my journey because yours will be slightly different or possibly greatly different. I am here to make the most of what I have been given.

I was born male with a woman’s brain. My body is quite tall and large in the proper proportions for a giant. These are my cards. I still have the deck, but these are the cards showing. For many years I played the male cards and lived a superficial life, what you see is what you get! This all changed five years ago. I dealt new cards from the deck and now I play the woman cards. The male cards have been placed back in the deck.

The question many of us face is do we trade the male cards in for female cards. Is surgery to create the facade of female a viable option? Many believe it is, however I hesitate because it seems a denial of who I am. I was given these cards for a reason. Have I made the most of them? When the time comes I can just deal again or even trade this deck in for a new one (ending this lifecycle).

It seems to me the purpose of it all is to accept yourself as you are, not to change the game! It is about Loving all that you are no matter the cards dealt. This is done through the actions you take and the choices you make. I see people with no legs walking on prosthetics. Are they not meant to stay in one place? Or is it about doing what they do and not copying others just because they are walking. Do they deny their gift by using prosthetics? It is like slipping a card up your sleeve or cheating fate. Or is it? They have made the choice to exceed their limitations and make new choices and we all have that privilege. It can be done in Love and acceptance or in denial and disgust. Without Love there is no progress and in fact it would be going backwards.

Ultimately the journey is yours and how you play the game is up to you. Love and acceptance are necessary ingredients. Remember that it is not about winning or losing but how you play that makes the difference. Anything done from Love and acceptance is a win! Just because others are doing things a certain way does not make it right for you. The choice is yours. We all are a part of the same puzzle, so there is no way not to fit in; this is the beauty of life. Accept your place (card deck) and make it shine!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Are You Transgender

by Sequoia Elisabeth

How does one know they are transgender? The answer to this question is both easy and complex. Easy in that only the individual knows they are transgender by how they self-identify and complex in that identities often blur together.

Transgender – A person appearing to or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser. This is an umbrella term often used to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis. Dressing as the opposite sex for a school play, at Halloween, or once or twice as a youngster does not make you transgender.

A person can identify with many others who are important in their life. Gender is not always important, meaning they may identify with both men and woman and sometimes other beings as well, such as animals, plants, or insects. We do it all the time, it is called anthropomorphication, projecting human characteristics on to things other than human. Pets are a favorite subject for this. Identity is a fluid thing, because we are all connected through Great Spirit.

Getting back to self-identity, gender identity is usually apparent by the age of 3-6. For this reason historically the Native Americans and recently some modern families are choosing to allow their child to tell them how they identify instead of looking between the legs and then pasting them with an identity of boy or girl. Certain characteristics such as toys chosen, behavior in certain situations, and how the child interacts with others can be indicators of masculine or feminine characteristics. However just because a boy likes to play with dolls does not make him transgender either.

Gender is a spectrum not a binary and in fact 80% of the population falls somewhere in the middle of the bell curve. It is rare to be totally male or completely female in gender. Just think back about your life and whether you enjoyed doing things which were considered opposite of your gender?

The main gist of the growing numbers of Transgender identified individuals is equality. Everyone no matter their gender, race, orientation, status, finances, appearance, mentality or any other characteristic deserves to be treated as an equal. Each person in their own way is an expression of God, Great Spirit, or Infinite Intelligence. And it is up to the individual to decide how they identify! Our job is to lovingly accept them.

Doctors, Lawyers, or parents do not have the right to impose their interpretations on any other person. Now they can and will offer their expertise, but it is still up to the individual to take that information and do with it what they will. Even a child 3-6 years old can tell their parents how they feel.

The parent can then provide opportunity for the child to explore their feelings, and with love and support the child will fulfill their destiny. And for those individuals who have suppressed these feelings for decades it is never too late to give yourself permission to be true to you!! Ultimately, Love is the answer to every question.

I encourage those with gender doubts or questions to explore their feelings by looking deep within the heart. The only way to know for sure is to try different gender role expressions. When you arrive at a conclusion it will feel right. Of course, this is for the moment because life is filled with moments and this feeling may change, although the wiring of the brain is fixed at birth. Ultimately life is an exercise in discovery and forgiveness.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Law of Gender 7ULs

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The 7 Universal Laws have become a yearly blog tradition. So let us complete the list of seven universal laws with the Law of Gender. There are two other laws which will get honorable mention in blogs to follow this one. Understanding the Universe and working with life, instead of against it is our goal here.

Tania Kotsos in The Seven Universal Laws Demystified lists the seventh law as,

“The Law of Gender: “Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles”. The last of the seven Universal Laws is evident throughout creation in the so-called opposite sexes found not only in human beings but also in plants, minerals, electrons, and magnetic poles to name but a few. Everything and everyone contains both the masculine and feminine elements. Among the outward expressions of Feminine qualities are love, patience, intuition and gentleness and of Masculine qualities are energy, self-reliance, logic and intellect. Know that within every woman; lay all the latent qualities of a man and within every man those of a woman. When you know this you will know what it means to be complete.”

Many people would consider this law to include the duality of nature, however this law is about gender only and duality is considered in a different law. This law is about the whole and the aspects of that whole. To express gender fully one must embrace both masculine and feminine energy. The fullness of being contains both.

Let us consider this in regards to people. A man has both energies and expresses masculine energy primarily. Situations will arise that he will need to express feminine energy, for instance while caring for children. In an emergency situation where people are injured and swift action is needed to save lives and respond to environmental stresses the man will need both masculine energy and feminine energy. The injured need the feminine energy of caring and compassion while the swift action and problem solving skills of masculinity will also be necessary. Without both he is not going to be as effective in his response. A woman in the same situation has the same energies at her disposal, but will most likely tackle the situation differently. It is simply a matter of using the same energies differently.

Society needs to get over its identification with men are this way and woman that. There are no rules, unless you make them or accept the rules others offer you! Allow these energies to flow naturally through you and know that all is well.

I will point out here that gender identity is how the brain is wired and follows the same Law of Gender. Transgender individuals are wired such that the traditional male = masculine or female = feminine is reversed to be male = feminine or female = masculine. There is nothing “wrong” however; it merely is what it is. Each person is comfortable expressing themself in one way or another. The physical body need not dictate how the individual expresses themself. The important thing is each individual feels the freedom to allow the Law of Gender to express through them as it needs to.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

The Law of Polarity 7ULs

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The 4th of Seven Universal Laws is one that we face every day. When understood and used consciously it can open so many doors that lead to Joy, Peace, and Love. On the transition journey just seeing the polarity, knowing they are two parts of a whole, and embracing both parts leads to freedom.

“The Law of Polarity: “Everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree”. The first of the mutable Universal Laws tells us that there are two sides to everything. Things that appear as opposites are in fact only two extremes of the same thing. For instance heat and cold may appear to be opposites at first glance, but in truth they are simply varying degrees of the same thing. The same applies to love and hate, peace and war, positive and negative, good and evil, yes and no, light and darkness, energy and matter. You can transform your thoughts from hate to love, from fear to courage by consciously raising your vibrations. This is what in the ancient Hermetic Teachings is called the Art of Polarization.

Neutralizing the Law of Polarity: This Principle of Duality may appear to be very real in your life but it operates only in the physical and mental realms, not in the spiritual realm where All is One. As it says in the Bhagavad-Gita “God is Above the Opposites”. By always placing the all-powerful, all-knowing Great Spirit of which you are a part behind your every thought, statement and action, and by always focusing on the “good”, even when things appear to be going “bad”, then in time you will neutralize the Law of Polarity such that it ceases to operate in your life.” (Kotsos 2011)

Relating this Law to gender transition, male and female are parts of the whole and when you see this, transition becomes so much easier. Take a paper sack and turn it inside out, notice the similarities and the differences. Now turn your paper sack into a plastic bag. Having difficulty with that? Paper and plastic come from different elements and are thus not the same. We are able to transition from male to female or female to male because each is a pole of the same thing, Human. We are not turning coal into gold here; instead we are turning the sack inside out (or vice versa).

Focus on embracing both parts of the whole and putting them in place respective to your personal gender identity. In essence you are showing the world who you are, not who they expect to see. This is done by Loving all of your body, not just the parts you identify with. How can you only Love a part of God? Or Love only a part of your Partner? True Love and complete transition is total, unconditional Love of all aspects of who you are, good or bad!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Pride Month

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The phrase “Pride cometh before a fall” probably came from the 1611, King James Version of the Bible, Book of Proverbs, 16:18. Some versions say it this way, “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.” Either way the point is fairly obvious. A person who is extremely proud of his or her abilities will often suffer a setback or failure, because he or she tends to be overconfident and to make errors of judgment.

Have you ever thought of how Pride fits into your life? If you are GLBTQ then you have probably attended a Pride festival of some type. There is an interesting irony to this event, so I would like to share a few thoughts on Pride since June is rapidly approaching and Pride festivals will be taking place all over the USA and elsewhere.

Let’s look at this word a little closer, Pride [prahyd] noun, verb, prid·ed, prid·ing.

Noun ~

1. A high or inordinate opinion of one’s owns dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

2. The state or feeling of being proud.

3. A becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one’s position or character; self-respect; self-esteem.

4. Pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself: civic pride.

5. Something that causes a person or persons to be proud: His art collection was the pride of the family.

If we again look even closer one word seems to jump out in the definition, Ego. Look at the synonyms for Pride – conceit, self-esteem, egotism, vanity, vain glory, implies an unduly favorable idea of one’s own appearance, advantages, achievements, etc., and often applies to offensive characteristics. Pride is a lofty and often arrogant assumption of superiority in some respect: Pride must have a fall. Conceit implies an exaggerated estimate of one’s own abilities or attainments, together with pride: blinded by conceit. Self-esteem may imply an estimate of oneself that is higher than those held by others: a ridiculous self-esteem. Egotism implies an excessive pre-occupation with oneself or with one’s own concerns, usually but not always accompanied by pride or conceit: His egotism blinded him to others’ difficulties. Vanity implies self-admiration and an excessive desire to be admired by others: His vanity was easily flattered. Vain glory, somewhat literary, implies an inordinate and therefore empty or unjustified pride: puffed up by vain glory – boast.

The antonym is humility! Jesus taught us to have a humble approach to life and not get caught up in our own achievements. Life is about what you have to offer – what you give! Pride has its uses and serves to balance life, but it is a trap so many of us fall prey to. Celebrate your successes, feel good about yourself, know that you have great worth, and do it with humility, so you can avoid the fall!

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH

😀 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity Discover Free eBooks click here

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Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Looking for Love in all the wrong places! While that makes a good song, it does not have to be your mantra. Yet, I find many who are doing precisely that. They look for love in other counties, other states, or other places than right where they are. They might as well stop looking. Love does not work this way.

Love is found within your very own heart! It is not outside you and certainly not across the ocean, although you may have to cross an ocean of emotion to find Love. The journey of love begins by looking in the mirror; see the person looking back at you. Introduce yourself, and look into their eyes. Feel the feeling, whatever it may be. Sit with it for a while. Vow to take care of this person staring back at you. Tell them you Love them. Search deep down for this Joyful, light, and wondrous feeling of Love. It probably will not show itself right away. So this exercise becomes a daily event!

The next step is to go about your business of living life. Stop Looking for Love! Instead, let Love find you. As you are living and doing the things you enjoy, life will lead you to the Love you seek. It will be a sustainable Love, one you can live with because that is precisely what you are doing!

The practice of looking into the mirror may be uncomfortable or even scary at first, but after a while you will come to Love this person and this very act will be giving others permission to do the same.

There will be mis-steps and let downs along the way. This is life! Just keep moving forward and focus on living a Joyous life. Be generous with your Joy, share it with everyone! As you do this people are drawn to you. Now listen to your heart and it will let you know when the right person comes along.

Knowing what you desire in a partner is vital to the process. Look deep within your heart and ask “Who am I?” “What am I looking for in a relationship?” “How can I best express my Love?” The answers will bring your desires to life.

Love has only the limits you place upon it. Love is like a fill in the blank quiz, and you hold all the answers ♥

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Group Therapy

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Groups are therapeutic and a very effective method of coping with any issue needing attention. Groups are often used as a support mechanism for specific issues of a specialized demographic. There are certain guidelines every group should go by to attain the best results for all participating and are as follows.

A group is three or more people sitting in a circle with one person as a facilitator. It is best for the group to stay below 12 members for the best interaction but can be as large as 20 before effectiveness is lost. If the group gets larger then it is best to break up into smaller groups after the introduction is given or from the very start.

The facilitator’s purpose is to lead the group – provide direction. It is best for this person to be a peer or somehow seen as an equal. They can be a trained doctor, minister or manager, but the group must see this person as a peer or someone who has walked the road they have traveled and can provide guidance.

The group must have a purpose or theme to it. For instance, the topic can be very general such as substance abuse or more specific such as alcoholism. The group can be targeted to a specific population such as employees of the company or members of an organization or they can be open to the public. This will depend on the organization or individual sponsoring the group. The topics for groups are as varied as the imagination. They do not have to be centered on psychological disorders or illness. The group could be a sewing group that meets to socialize and share techniques & ideas. Or the group could be a think tank with ideas to improve performance of an organization. The guidelines offered here still apply.

The group needs ground rules for process and procedure in writing, and available to every participant. The group does not need to be strict, but it does need a basic framework. Having a set ritual or procedure adds structure and allows the group to operate smoothly with a minimum of interference from the facilitator. It is important to maintain equality in the group so each participant feels comfortable sharing. The facilitator could rotate to a different person each time. The important thing is to stay focused on the topic and allow (encourage) everyone to participate equally.

Having the group size small and structured in a circle is vital in maintaining the air of equality. The more intimate the group the deeper the sharing and the more each person will get out of the process. Simply being in the group will be beneficial, however the more a person participates, the better for everyone. A good group will operate on spontaneity with each person speaking without interrupting another.

In review, groups are 3 or more individuals with a common purpose who come together for the betterment of all. They have the structure of written guidelines facilitated by a peer in a compassionate and mature fashion. The group has a purpose or topic and it is made clear in the introduction of the meeting so all participants know beforehand. The group sits in a circle facing each other and the size of the group is limited to 12 ideally or no more than 20.

Groups have been used since the beginning of society. A child is born into a group (family), so it is only natural to use groups for working through issues and to simply socialize. Humans are social animals after all!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Makeup Application Guide

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Makeup is an important part of any woman’s wardrobe; although now-a-days it depends on how you identify and where you live as to how important it is. Since I grew up in the southern USA, it is very important to me. Just how much you wear is up to you and will depend on the occasion you are preparing to attend. For instance, my daily wear consists of moisturizing lotion, mascara and lipstick only. Sometime I add eye shadow for a bolder look and if it is a formal event I use foundation and the works.

It is important to always clean your face first and then use a good moisturizing lotion to protect your skin. Foundation can dry out the skin and cause wrinkles over time. From this point just follow the guide below, leaving out any steps you deem unnecessary. I rarely use concealer, but this depends on your skin tone. Practice makes perfect!

1. CONCEALER

· Purpose: to hide dark shadows and under eye circles.

·Selection: a shade that’s slightly lighter than your skin tone.

·Application: dot in the inner corners of your eyes and gently blend out with a concealer brush or makeup sponge.

NOTE: can be applied a second time over foundation for additional coverage.

2. FOUNDATION

· Purpose: to provide a smooth base for long-lasting application, add color, even skin tone and hide imperfections.

·Selection:

a. Shade: warm undertones or cool undertones to match your skin. If you have to blend with your neck, it’s too dark!

b. Skin type: normal, oily, dry or sensitive?

·Application: Apply sparingly to forehead, nose, checks and chin using makeup sponge. Blend gently downward to the jawline. Never apply below jawline. Using the finger tips is acceptable but it means your makeup will not last as long, so if you do not use it much this can get expensive.

NOTE: some foundations change color after application. Wait a few minutes and check color. It should blend so well it’s almost invisible. The new mineral powder foundations blend wonderfully.

3. POWDER

·Purpose: to “set” makeup, reduce shine and help foundation last longer. Also helps blush apply more smoothly and evenly.

·Selection: match intensity of foundation

· Application:

a. apply after foundation and before blush.

b. as a finishing touch after completion of makeup.

Apply with a puff or loose powder brush. Dust lightly across forehead, down the nose and across the cheeks and chin concentrating on shiny parts of the face. Use sparingly.

4. BLUSH

· Purpose: To add color and glow, plus accent bone structure. Also adds a vertical lift to the face.

· Selection: select to match coloring and skin tone. Drier skins often do better with a cream rather than powder form.

·Application: Apply blush starting at the center of the cheek bone, blending up the cheekbone, diagonally out and up toward the hairline right above the ear.

NOTE: Blush and lip color should be selected from the same color family

5. EYES

Purpose: To accent the face and make you be noticed. Eyes are the most important feature on your face in terms of makeup. Using mascara alone will make a big difference. Pay attention to the eye brows and make sure they are well groomed and can be seen.

Selection: Choose a color that matches your hair color, unless you desire a dramatic effect.

Application:

Put eyebrow mascara (if needed) on first and go lightly, should blend naturally, while making the brows more noticeable.
Apply eyeliner (if using). Liquid gives the boldest look, while pencils are easier to use. Be sure to experiment for best look.
Apply mascara next and use curler. Choose colors that accent your clothes and hair color.
Apply eye shadow with the darker color on eye lid. Blending is important. Putting darker color on outside and a light shade by the nose makes the face look narrower. Reverse for a wider look. Depends on your face shape as which technique to use.
Professionals at the makeup counter in dept. stores or specialty stores are good at assisting with color selection and application techniques.
Also look on youtube.com for visual instructions. The more you see it done the easier will be to develop your own style.

6. LIPS

Purpose: To accent the face and enhance your beauty. Lips are very personal so experiment to find your favorite.

Selection: Choose a color that compliments your eye color and makeup.

Application:

Use a lip liner when using traditional lipsticks and cover the entire lip with lip liner after it is applied along the edge of lips. This hides the use of lip liner when the lipstick wears off. For a fuller look, go slightly outside the lip line and accent the area under the nose.
Apply lipstick starting in the center and moving outward in both directions. Press lips together to blend color.
Lip inks or other lasting lipsticks really do not need lip liner.
Apply traditional lipstick after eating, drink, or kissing. Will need to be touched up every few hours unless a long lasting version is used. This is again personal preference. Have FUN 😉

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Pride

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Let’s look at this word a little closer, Pride [prahyd] noun, verb, prid·ed, prid·ing.

Noun ~

1. A high or inordinate opinion of one’s owns dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed in bearing, conduct, etc.

2. The state or feeling of being proud.

3. A becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one’s position or character; self-respect; self-esteem.

4. Pleasure or satisfaction taken in something done by or belonging to oneself or believed to reflect credit upon oneself: civic pride.

5. Something that causes a person or persons to be proud: His art collection was the pride of the family.

😀 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity Discover Free eBooks click here

How to Handle Rejection from Family Members

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Today’s blog is a sharing from another blog I recently read. This subject touches me deeply and from chats with readers I feel this message will touch you as well. The topic is “How to Handle Rejection from Family Members”. We are all family – Love is the answer!

“The Voice for Love: “Precious One, please know firstly that consciously choosing to extend love to anyone or anything is always helpful, even if you cannot see the effects. There is more to your experience than meets the eye. So we thank you and encourage you to continue in your quest to extend love to others, even those who do not seem to want or accept your love.

“We would like to challenge you further, for in your quest to extend love you are now seeking a deeper level of understanding and a deeper experience. You have extended love to the persons about whom you are asking; now extend love to the very behaviors they are expressing. Those behaviors are expressions of fear, doubt, guilt, and pain. Although tempting to take their rejection personally you need not take them as personal attacks, though they are presented that way. You may also see these behaviors and expressions as separate from the person expressing them. See the person as innocent but fearful, and all these painful expressions as mere defenses, put up to avoid further pain.

“Extending love to negative behaviors may seem counter-intuitive or counterproductive, as though to do so means you approve of these things. Yet Love is not approval, but Love is acceptance of What Is. Love is knowing that you are both safe and free at all times. Love does not fear anything nor react to perceived attacks. Love is not defensive or resistant or afraid. Love allows others to be as they are, where they are, and loving them even when pushed away. Love allows the pushing away. Love is at peace and loves anyway.

“It is possible to extend love from afar, to hold these dear ones in your heart despite their rejection of you. They are asking for their freedom – give it them. To be embroiled in conflict, to push or force or argue, this is not what Love would do. Love says, ‘Yes, you may be that way.’ Loves gives to all their freedom and loves anyway. Step back, dear one, from the pain of this situation. You need not fix it, solve it, or sort it out. Extend love to the situation exactly as it is – that is, extend patience; extend freedom; extend allowance; extend compassion. These are all facets of the great diamond of love that you hold. Love can be extended in infinite ways, so do not underestimate its power.

“Remember that what is resisted grows stronger; it must, to prove itself. Therefore, do not resist the painful behaviors of your loved ones. Accept, allow, extend love to all that is happening without resistance or fear. Love is a healing balm and is not limited by time or space. You do not have to convince these dear ones in your life to accept love. Only you can accept love, know love, choose love, and extend love for yourself. Each one must make this choice when they are ready. Love would never force itself on another who is not ready to receive it. Trust that all will come to the glory of Love in their own perfect time; that is what the journey of life is for.

“Rest, dear one, from your efforts. Extend love to yourself as well as others. Be at peace and trust that God knows the way into each and every heart.”” (http://www.thevoiceforlove.com/community/handle-rejection-from-family/, 2012)

Please know that I Love You! Even and especially my birth family who has had difficulty accepting my transgender journey, know that we are separate, yet ONE!

😀 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity Discover Free eBooks click here

Gender Incongruency Part 2

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Incongruency part 2 is the continuation of the simple straight-forward definition provided previously and now we delve into why Gender Incongruency is the preferred term verses Gender Identity Disorder.

The documentation provided on the different views of Gender Identity Dysphoria sound complex, but really it is not that complicated when you break it down. I will do my best to provide clear reasoning to explain it. First of all everyone has Gender Identity, just as they have a sexual orientation. When this identity is incongruent with the natal sex and established stereotypes a diagnosis of Gender Identity Disorder is given. Since this is really an issue of incongruency and not necessarily a dysfunction the term disorder is inappropriate.

Think carefully about the term disorder. Most allopathic treatments use a chemical and/or a surgical approach by prescribing a medicine or surgically altering the body to treat the illness or disorder. Medicines are intended to be temporary till the body heals itself. Gender Dysphoria is based on an incongruency from birth. Some feel it is a birth defect, depending on how it manifests. Often, if the patient is born completely male or female they do not deal with the issue due to societal and peer pressure until later in life. They have dealt with this condition all their life because they do not know any better. Since there are many things in this world that do not make sense we all deal with incongruences. Is it so hard to believe that a person cannot live with these feelings?

“Principle 18 of The Yogyakarta Principles states that “Notwithstanding any classifications to the contrary, a person’s sexual orientation and gender identity are not, in and of themselves, medical conditions and are not to be treated, cured, or suppressed.” According to these Principles, any gender identity of a transsexual or transgendered person is neither “disorder” nor mental illness, thus the diagnosis “gender identity disorder” can be contradictory and irreverent.” (Wikipedia.com, 2012)

Given this fact and the fact that physicians need a way to treat patients who request it the term Gender Incongruency seems very appropriate, thus the Concerned Professionals proposal. The other issue is treatment and payment. In our present system insurance usually picks up the bill but many specifically exclude transgender/transsexual treatments. This trend is shifting however and it is because they have a diagnosis in the DSM to use along with the ICD-10 that insurance is willing to cover hormone therapy, although most do not cover surgical interventions. Lobbying by activist groups, LGBT awareness groups, and allies have helped increase awareness of the need a great deal.

Eventually Gender Identity will not be pathologized and people will be free to live outside the gender binary. This is another trend that is promising at the moment. However there will still be individuals who feel they need to change their sex and who benefit from hormone treatment, so the health care system needs to be prepared to address these needs. Insurance needs to cover this simple and relatively inexpensive treatment, esp. when compared to other sophisticated medical treatments. Gender Incongruency conveys the essence of this condition quite nicely.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Incongruency

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Incongruency may be unfamiliar to some of our readers so I will take the next two Transitions Blogs to explain it further. I will first give the simple straight-forward definition of it and then in the next part explain why it is the preferred term now verses Gender Identity Disorder.

Incongruous or Incongruent:

— adj

1. incompatible with (what is suitable); inappropriate

2. containing disparate or discordant elements or parts (Dictionary.com)

Thus applied to gender it means the individual feels certain parts (gender and/or sex) are incompatible, inappropriate, disparate, or discordant. The definition of transgender varies a little from transsexual so I will simply say that transgender is an umbrella term that covers all gender non-conforming identities, while transsexual is more specific to a feeling of marked incongruity requiring both hormone therapy and sexual reassignment surgery. The diagnosis of gender incongruency would apply to all transsexuals, and some but not all transgender individuals.

Treatment is the way I discern the difference between transgender and transsexual. Many transgender individuals need no treatment at all other than the acknowledgement of their gender expression and role. Sexual orientation or sexual pleasure type are separate issues and are not discussed here. The following definitions from the American Psychiatric Association, Concerned Professionals, and The Yogyakarta Principles are offered in regards to Transsexualism mainly, but also pertain to Transgender, esp The Yogyakarta Principles.

First let us consider in the United States, the American Psychiatric Association permits a diagnosis of gender identity disorder if the four diagnostic criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4thEdition, Text-Revised (DSM-IV-TR) are met. (There is a proposal to change this GID diagnosis term to Gender Incongruence in the new DSM-V, of which I will discuss further in the next blog)

The criteria are:

Long-standing and strong identification with another gender
Long-standing disquiet about the sex assigned or a sense of incongruity in the gender-assigned role of that sex
Significant clinical discomfort or impairment at work, social situations, or other important life areas.
The diagnosis is not made if the individual also has physical intersex characteristics.

If the four criteria are met under the DSM-IV-TR, a diagnosis is made under ICD-9 code 302.85. The International Classification of Diseases (ICD-10) list three diagnostic criteria:

Transsexualism (F64.0) has three criteria:

The desire to live and be accepted as a member of the opposite sex, usually accompanied by the wish to make his or her body as congruent as possible with the preferred sex through surgery and hormone treatment
The transsexual identity has been present persistently for at least two years
The disorder is not a symptom of another mental disorder or a chromosomal abnormality (Intersex).

Mental health and medical professionals, clinicians, researchers, and scholars are concerned about psychiatric nomenclature and diagnostic criteria for gender-variant, gender-nonconforming, transgender, and transsexual people in the Fifth Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), and call themselves Professionals Concerned About Gender Diagnoses in the DSM. Below are their suggestions for the Gender Incongruence (in adults) diagnosis in the DSM V.

A. A distressing sense of incongruence between persistent experienced or expressed gender and current physical sex characteristics or ascribed gender role in adults, as manifested by at least one of the following indicators for duration of at least 3 months. Incongruence, for this purpose, does not mean gender expression that is nonconforming to social stereotypes of ascribed gender role or natal sex.

1. A distress or discomfort with living in the present gender or being perceived by others as the present gender, which is distinct from the experiences of discrimination or the societal expectations associated with that gender.

2. A distress or discomfort caused by deprivation of gender expression congruent with persistent experienced gender. Experienced gender may include alternative gender identities beyond binary stereotypes.

3. A distress or discomfort with one’s current primary or secondary sex characteristics that are incongruent with persistent experienced gender.

4. A distress or discomfort caused by deprivation of primary or secondary sex characteristics that are congruent with persistent experienced gender.

B. Distress or discomfort is clinically significant or causes impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning, and is not due to external prejudice or discrimination. (Professionals Concerned with Gender Diagnoses in the DSM, 2010)

The Yogyakarta Principles on the Application of International Human Rights Law in relation to Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity is a set of principles relating to sexual orientation and gender identity, intended to apply international human rights law standards to address the abuse of the human rights of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people, and issues of intersexuality.

“The Principle 3 of The Yogyakarta Principles on The Application of International Human Rights Law in Relation to Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity states that “A person of diverse sexual orientation and gender identities shall enjoy legal capacity in all aspects of life. Each person’s self-defined sexual orientation and gender identity is integral to their personality and is one of the most basic aspects of self-determination, dignity and freedom” and the Principle 18 of this states that “Notwithstanding any classifications to the contrary, a person’s sexual orientation and gender identity are not, in and of themselves, medical condition and are not to be treated, cured or suppressed.” According to these Principles, any gender identity of a transsexual or transgendered person is neither “disorder” nor mental illness, thus the diagnosis “gender identity disorder” can be contradictory and irreverent. As well, The Activist’s Guide of the Yogyakarta Principles in Action states that “It is important to note that while “sexual orientation” has been declassified as a mental illness in many countries, “gender identity or gender identity disorder” often remains under consideration.” (Wikipedia.com, 2012)

To read the entire publication “An Activist’s Guide to The Yogyakarta Principles” please click here, although be warned it is quite lengthy. More on Gender Incongruence in Part 2, pleasant reading till then.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Destiny! This is what life is all about, so what does this mean? Are you fulfilling your destiny? How can you not? Stop for a minute and look at your life. Are you doing what you have always wanted to do, been where you dreamed of going, known those you desire to know, Loved and Lost?

No matter what your answer to the above questions consider the answer is YES! It is as simple as “ask and you shall receive”. There is one caveat to this whole process though and this is your Highest and Best Good. It is also a function of what you believe deep down and what is supported by others. How deep is your conviction to fulfill these dreams? Who is to say that you have not already done so? Reality is created in your dreams! And it is done in your Highest and Best Good.

I would like you, my friend, to consider your journey carefully. A river is used to symbolize life. You are given a raft (body) when born and your journey begins. The river may be calm and smooth or rough rapids and it will surely change from moment to moment. The journey will take you through jungles, deserts, plains, and mountains. Those you meet along the way will guide your path as well as provide both challenge and support.

The premise of Transgender is that you were given the wrong raft on this journey, however if God makes no mistakes, then how can this be? Maybe the mistake is in your perception of the raft. Maybe you desired to show the world that a kayak is the way to make it down the river of life? Then again maybe you desired to take your raft and convert it into a houseboat.

The point being you make of your gifts what you will! And I mean ‘will power’ here. There are no limits till you place them there and often times the limits are there for your benefit and protection. Limits guide your path just as a large boulder will do in a river, the water flows around the boulder and so will your raft! The important thing is to learn Love – Love for your raft and the rafts of others regardless of who you think they are.

So embrace your raft and enjoy the journey! Look ahead as far as you can while also noticing how the raft is supporting and serving your experience. Are you using all the features your raft offers, by making the most of what you have? Remember there is a reason for everything and Universal Intelligence (God) gave you that particular raft for a purpose! Are you grateful or are you biting the hand that feeds you?

Row, Row, Row Your Boat – gently down the stream…

😀 Sequoia Elisabeth