Oneness Ministry

We are One

The Face Of Christ

Many people mostly as a result of fundamentalists religious teaching have come to accept the face of Jesus as The Christ.  His actual name is Jeshua Ben Joseph.  Please allow me to share a different perspective on this story.  I am not saying that what you know is wrong, only that you may not have the full meaning of Jesus Christ has he relates to your life. 

Jeshua Ben Joseph was the human person you read about in the bible and other story’s that we attribute to Jesus Christ.  He lived his life and died just like the rest of us do.  He felt pain, sorrow, happiness and joy.  His Soul Mate and Twin Flame’s name is Mary Magdalene.  What this means is that they both orchestrated the heavenly occurrences and miracles that we have come to admire and aspire to.  They were cut from the same flame, meaning they both had equal but opposite resonate energies vibrating at the same frequency.  This is very rare and we experience it but once in all our lifetimes, usually the last one.  By last I mean last incarnation on earth.

The point of this message is that Jesus Christ is not a person but a metaphor for who you are.  Think of it as a title that one attains in life.  In metaphysics Jesus means “I Am” and Christ means Centered or the “Anointed One”.  So Joshua Ben Joseph is the physical man who conducted the miracles we all know about.  Think about that now, he is no different than any other man and since Mary Magdalene is his Twin Flame she could also do these things, we just did not hear about it because the bible was created by a male dominated society.  And this was his purpose in life, just as Mary’s purpose was to support him and make sure he was able to complete his mission.  Let’s not get off track here however.  We are each endowed with the same powers they had and in fact have more evolved physical bodies.  We use the exact same mind that he did!  Because there is but one mind, the mind of God, anything else is illusion. 

So now let’s relate this to our physical bodies.   One of the main messages of this ministry (Unity in Gender Diversity) is that we are not our bodies, we are Spiritual Beings having a human experience and have thus created ourselves with our personal understanding of what it means to be human.  We have an individual identity through which we relate to others in our world.  The central identifying feature is our face.  The face has been a symbol for who we are since before the time of Jesus, which explains people’s fixation on the face of Christ.  Everywhere you look there is one basic image of what Jesus looks like, long brown hair, light brown skin, some with beard and mustache, and all with the same nose, eyes, and chin.  There are variations but this can be attributed to a reflection of cultural differences, which is precisely the point I want to make here.  Jesus Christ is not a man who lived 2000 years ago, but a symbol for mankind!  Jeshua was the man and Jesus Christ the Title he attained. We are each on a journey to discover Jesus Christ as a consciousness or state of being. 

The face is your ego identity and what Jeshua did 2011 years ago was grow beyond any ego attachment.  Thus he was able to live beyond the body, which is the only “real” existence.  It is important to understand that to live in this world you must have an ego.  This is an ego world we live in and the goal is to grow beyond the need for an ego.  The ego is not bad or anything like that, it simply is. 

I feel that the transgender journey is realizing that both male and female are human expressions.  To fully express human is to express both.  To express Transgender is to express both in one lifetime.  Not everyone is on this journey, but those who are need to experience the physical change to fully express them self and more importantly to realize who they truly are!  The Christ. 

There are many paths to God, so accept who you are and walk the path with courage and faith!  The face of Christ is your face!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

“We are all on a journey to discover who we are. In the process of thinking and doing, we see who we are not.  Along the way many personas emerge, and with each step you are closer to who you really are.  In the end we discover that there is really only one, and that is GOD.” (Quote from UGD website)

Leave a comment »

SRS/GRS Treatment Planning

Where does SRS/GRS fit into the treatment plan for Gender Incongruity(GI)/Gender Identity Disorder(GID)?  The terms GRS (Genital Reassignment Surgery) and GI (Gender Incongruity) will be used from here on to make this flow easier.  The diagnosis has been made and you are now in therapy, so what next?

The answer to this question is really up to you and your therapist or physician.  There are no rules here so I recommend doing your research and getting to know the options as well as getting to know yourself a little better. Your therapist should be helpful in guiding you in the decision of whether you need GRS and where to place it in your treatment plan.  It is not their decision to make though, it is yours.  Please understand that you are responsible for finding your way to relief.  The professionals are there to help and provide guidance.

The next step is to decide if you have enough funding to get the surgery soon or will it be years before you can afford it?  If you have money or the resources to get it, then you have several options.  Even if you don’t have the money now, you have options.  Here they are.  Get an orchiectomy right at the beginning (if you are FtoM – hysterectomy) so you do not have to take hormone blockers.  For FtoM it just makes the testosterone that much more effective.  Any cosmetic surgeries desired can be done later in the transition as is convenient.  After fully transitioning and living in the chosen gender and knowing you are happy, get the full GRS.  This option makes the most sense to me, however most doctors are uneasy with this choice, probably because they are not the ones with discomfort. (Reproduction desires need to be addressed also, since this option sterilizes)

The next option is to get hormone treatment and electrolysis done and after going full time as your chosen gender, have GRS done and leave cosmetic surgery to last.  The reasoning here is financial and basically goes in order of importance and cost.  This seems to be the most popular option chosen, for obvious reasons.  Start where you are and take a new step each day toward your ideal. 

Those with lots of money sometimes get carried away with the surgeries and do all kinds of physical alteration without fully embracing the changes emotionally.  From my experience this is a difficult path and somewhat backwards.  Gender transition is an emotional process and the surgery is meant to assist in the assimilation into society.  Where the surgery is very important, so is taking the time to learn what it means to be a woman when you were raised as a man, or vice versa.  Jumping in with the surgery can lead to disaster when you have changed your appearance and not your self concept. 

When I first started my journey one of the questions I asked my therapist is where does GRS fit into my treatment? (I already knew I wanted it, and most of us do)  He told me it does not matter if you get it early or later, the important part is to break down the false persona you created to fit into society and allow your natural self to emerge.  The surgery will re-enforce your feelings and make it easier for you, but does not really matter to a person who will never see between your legs!  GRS is for your own satisfaction in knowing your body reflects your self image.   

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

Leave a comment »

Is SRS Really Necessary?

This is first in a series of blogs on Sex Change Surgery, so the obvious question “Is SRS/GRS Really Necessary?”  Right from the start I will concede this is a loaded question; however, it is a question I have asked myself many times.  The answer is as individual as the person considering it.  The answer should NOT be undertaken alone and should be a consensus by medical professionals trained in gender issues and the transsexual individual.  The bottom line is no one can tell you what your gender is!  Gender is self determined, however the treatment for Gender Incongruity or Gender Dysphoria as it used to be called is a complex issue that requires guidance.  I am not saying it could not be done alone, only that is much easier and more rewarding when support is provided by caring professionals, friends, and family.

With this being said, it would be foolish to jump to a conclusion when something as drastic as SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery) or as some prefer, GRS (Genital Reassignment Surgery) is considered.  The question of other conditions being present such as mental illness, birth defects, medical conditions etc. needs to be ruled out before surgery is implemented.  Just as a doctor considering a liver transplant will make sure the patient does not have any other severe conditions which may hamper recovery from the surgery; it is only prudent to take an informed approach.  Thus we have the WPATH Standards of Care which recommend a thorough medical work up, Psychotherapy evaluation, CHT (Contra Hormone Therapy), and living at least a year in the chosen gender to avoid the possibility of erroneous Gender Incongruity diagnosis. 

The treatment for Gender Incongruity (GI) or GID (Gender Identity Disorder, as it used to be called) is the surgical adjustment of the genitals to conform to the gender identity of the individual.  Counseling and/or psychotherapy is part of both the diagnosis and the treatment.  Dealing with an issue this large should not be undertaken alone.  At the very least a person with gender questions should see a professional that specializes in the treatment of gender disorders.  There are resources online that will help to identify those professionals, please see this link (take your time and read carefully). 

Getting back to the issue of “is it necessary” I offer another link to a blog that considers this issue nicely.  Having been on this journey for a long time, I will share my personal experience on this question after having talked to many pre and post op transsexuals.  I only know of a few cases of post op transsexuals who were not happy with the surgery.  Three of those were media hyped cases of individuals who were mislead by society.  Personally I have known only one person (a pre-op transgender) that transitioned with hormones for 10 yrs and then decided to de-transition and live in their former role. 

On the other side of the coin I have met dozens of post op transsexuals who tell me it was the best decision they ever made.  They lead happy productive lives just as they did before they transitioned.  The variation in the success of SRS/GRS is as varied as the individuals undergoing the procedure, however it is my firm belief that if this option was not the best choice then there would not be so many surgeons doing the procedure today and it would not be considered medically necessary as it is by the AMA, IRS and some Insurance Companies today (see above links).  It is true that not many Insurance companies will cover SRS/GRS, but their numbers are growing as is the mainstream medical communities support for this treatment of Gender Incongruency. 

Choosing to undergo SRS/GRS is not something anyone should take lightly, however it is a viable option nowadays that offers excellent results of both form and function!  It is time the rest of the medical community step up and see that Gender Incongruity is a serious issue that has viable treatment options with excellent results.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

Leave a comment »

Hormone Balance

The following is an excerpt from Sex and Sexuality the new eBook from Unity in Gender Diversity.  There are a few comments in addition at the end of this blog. 

“A hormone (from Greek ὁρμή – “impetus”) is a chemical released by a cell in one part of the body, that sends out messages that affect cells in other parts of the organism. Only a small amount of hormone is required to alter cell metabolism. It is essentially a chemical messenger that transports a signal from one cell to another.” (Wikipedia, 2010).  The message is imperative for the proper function of the target cells.  The area of the body this book is concerned with is the sexual functions and since this is not a medical journal the descriptions are targeted to the layman.  The purpose of this chapter is to demonstrate the power and the importance hormones play in our lives.  Nowhere is this more evident than in the transsexual. 

“In order to function, the body needs healthy endocrine glands that work correctly, a properly functioning blood supply to move hormones through the body to their target points, receptor sites on the target cells for the hormones to do their work, and a feedback system for controlling how and when hormones are produced and used. Any disruption in that system can cause problems that may require medical intervention.” (FtMGuide.org, 2010). 

“Hormones have the following effects on the body:

  • stimulation or inhibition of growth
  • mood swings
  • induction or suppression of apoptosis (programmed cell death)
  • activation or inhibition of the immune system
  • regulation of metabolism
  • preparation of the body for mating, fighting, fleeing, and other activity
  • preparation of the body for a new phase of life, such as puberty, parenting, and menopause
  • control of the reproductive cycle
  • hunger cravings

A hormone may also regulate the production and release of other hormones” (Wikipedia, 2010). 

“The hormones commonly considered to be “sex hormones” in the body are testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone. Testosterone is often referred to as a “male” hormone, and estrogen and progesterone are often referred to as “female” hormones. However, it is interesting to note that no exclusively “male” or “female” hormones have been identified. All hormones characterized to date are present in all people regardless of sex, as are the receptor mechanisms that respond to those hormones.

In fact, the physical observation of the sexes we call “male” and “female” in nature is the result of differences in the amounts of individual hormones in the body and differences in their patterns of secretion (first in utero and then again during puberty) rather than their presence or absence. In other words, testosterone, estrogen, and progesterone are produced by men and women, but in differing amounts and in different patterns.” FtMGuide.org (2010) 

The existence of transsexualism demonstrates the difference between male and female is degree and this also is why males can change to females and vice versa.  It is simply a matter of communication with the cells of the body which is done with the use of hormones.  Please remember though that it is the individual’s gender identity and brain makeup that determines whether the hormones should be balanced for male or female. 

The quote above mentions receptor mechanisms and when the brain is female, it has mostly estrogen receptors and therefore needs estrogen to function properly.  The male brain is the opposite.  If as in transsexuals a female brain develops in a male body, these mechanisms cannot function properly, thus brain function is reduced.  From this author’s perspective, the areas affected are mostly in the emotional department but also other areas, such as ability to think clearly and comprehend at a deep level.  Language skills are much improved since supplying the proper hormones. 

If a male brain takes estrogen the receptors do not match up and the result is wild emotional outbursts and erratic behavior.  This not being my area of expertise, I will say from others I have spoken to that the female to male transsexual would experience similar difficulties before CHT. 

It is sort of like putting diesel fuel in a gasoline engine!  The human body is a remarkable structure and it adapts to many situations, however when the proper hormones are present they function like messengers and open pathways to proper function depending on brain structure, not sexual organs. 

The lesson learned here is that male and female really are fairly superficial aspects of our being and that every human has both, otherwise there would be no way for a male to take female hormones and take on the characteristics of female (or vice versa).  The proper balance for gender identity and brain makeup is what is most important. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

1 Comment »

Transgender Day of Remembrance

Have you ever considered why this day of remembrance is important?  How about the advocacy work that so many organizations do?  Does it work and why does it work?  I mean what makes advocacy work!  I remember being distressed by the thought of everyone gathering around and sharing victim stories and it was almost like death was a success.  And indeed it is a success for ego mind, but that is another story. 

Today I would like to shine the light on why it is important to remember events of the past and to honor those who have gone before you.  The obvious answer that I have heard many times, “learn from your past or you are doomed to repeat the mistakes”, falls short.  The other answer that these individuals are important as human beings and kindred family is indeed one of the reasons, but to me not the most important. 

The real gift here is that injustice is brought to light.  Awareness is raised in the minds of all people and they see that violence is destructive and unjust.  Transgender Day of Remembrance brings our community to the main stream consciousness in a cry for equal rights.  It is a statement that we are people too and deserve to be treated as well any other person.  The fact that often gets lost in communities is we are all humans and a part of the whole of life; it is not us against them!  Let me emphasis this point.  It is never about US vs. THEM in any situation.  When this perspective is taken it becomes a losing proposition.  One if not both parties loose.  The Equal Rights movement is about equal rights for everyone.  No one person is better than any other or more deserving or less deserving of common basic human needs such as personal security, love, self esteem, personal fulfillment, cultural security, and participation, plus a right to life, liberty, freedom of thought, expression and identity, and equal treatment before the law.  Let us focus on the things we all desire. 

In the end what makes advocacy work is the Universal Law of Attraction among other laws.  What you focus on grows.  Or to say that another way, the energy of attention is a funnel that sends this power where ever it is pointed.  If you are focusing on the things that are wrong or broken or painful then you get more of them.  However if you are focusing on what is working, how systems are supporting you and what you like about a certain person, place or thing then you will get more of that!  This seems simplistic I know and there are details if you wish to know more.  This works, I am a living testament to it and actually so are you! 

Take advantage of this Day of Remembrance to focus on what you loved about that person who has lost or taken their life.  Focus on the laws that have been passed recently which raise awareness to what is acceptable and what is not.  Share your dream of the world you wish to live in!  It is important to be heard, we all deserve this so listen to others and treat them the way you wish to be treated.  There are no victims only volunteers, thus I honor all the beautiful people who have volunteered to be symbols of change and to shine the light on a community’s needs. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

1 Comment »

The Transgender Journey

The transgender journey is a personal experience.  Even though this is true, this journey has certain patterns or characteristics.  Let’s look at some of the things that are similar with all transgender individuals. 

First of all, we have all realized at some level when we were very young that our bodies somehow seemed “not right”.  Whether we actually understood that our brains are one gender and our physical bodies are another is different for each person. 

There comes a time when we need to experiment with crossdressing, this may last a lifetime or it may be very brief depending on the amount of guilt associated with this action.  I remember my first time crossdressing only lasted a few minutes.  I could feel this was right for me, that I am a woman but the fear and guilt almost killed me! 

Going public with your “secret” is another phase of the journey.  Once again this phase is characterized by fear; it grips you like no horror movie ever could.  Hours are spent getting ready and you go out late at night to lessen the likely hood that you will be seen by someone you know, or that you will be discovered.  Passing is everything!  Once this has been done successfully, and excitement is felt and we get braver and braver. 

Not all transgender realize that there are other transgender people so when they realize this meeting them becomes a high priority.  It is a like attracting like, or Law of Attraction thing.  This phase can occur before or after the coming out phase and will often motivate the individual to come out at least to their friends. 

Coming out takes on all sorts of appearances, so it is hard to explain, the one thing that this phase encompasses is relief.  Once the fear of your secret has been released, life gets much easier!  The coming out usually starts with those closest to the individual and fans out from there.  The relief can be so exciting that the individual comes out to everyone they know in one big blast.  The results of which can be a mixed bag and depend on where the individual is on the journey.  If they have done the inner work to make it all OK within them, then those in their life will be OK with it.  If the guilt still rules their life then, well it can get ugly. 

Once the transgender individual begins the life experience of living full time as the opposite sex, appropriate gender for them, life often takes major turns.  Some loose it all, including jobs, relationships, pushing to the edge of losing their very life.  Others are able to transition on the job, maintain their relationships and thrive!  Once again it comes down to how mature the individual is and if they prepared for the changes.  With proper preparation the journey is deeply Joyous and rewarding. 

The next phase is one of empowerment were advocacy work becomes important.  Helping others is almost a right of passage.  We all do it to some degree.  Some will do it the rest of their lives, although most reach a point where they are happy with their bodies and wish to live an average life.  They have other concerns. 

Some have surgery and some do not, but the point comes when you are just living your new life and all is well just as it is.   The surgery is a high priority to some and to others it is not,  I would say all transgender individuals consider it at some point.  There are health concerns, cost and personal reasons to consider, not to mention sexual orientation.  The surgery can occur at any point after the crossdressing stage, although the later, the better in my opinion.  I say this because this journey is intense and can be very demanding.  The individual’s maturity and inner healing is best done in advance, because surgery is not a cure, but just a part of the process.  Yes, it does help to live the life of the chosen gender, but it is not required.  Sex is a very personal thing and I will say that for the transsexual or transgender individual that intimacy can be a challenge, it has been for me.  I expect surgery to help, but it may in fact make sex less enjoyable.  This is why getting to know yourself is so important.  How do you desire to experience intimacy?  I am a “have your cake and eat it too kinda girl.  😉

Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity   NEW eBook on Sex and Sexuality available now

Leave a comment »

Gender Roles

Continuing from yesterday on the subject of gender roles, please read yesterday’s blog first.  I will get into the new eBook more on the next blog.  Gender role is something that many people take for granted and accept without question.  Others though are never comfortable in their gender role and live in the traditional roles of the opposite sex, for example a woman in combat military duty, fighting on the frontlines, or a young man who babysits and works in daycare. 

Obviously there is nothing wrong with this, my point here is that the roles that define man and woman are blurring.  Many young readers will question this blog as so what!  However the older reader will remember when the thought of a man working at a daycare was not acceptable, nor was a woman in combat!  Women did not break into male dominated professions till early in the last century and only on an exceptional basis.  Medical doctors for instance were all men till 1849 when Elizabeth Blackwell graduated from medical school in New York.  Now days 50% or more of medical doctors who graduate medical school are female. 

Many vocational professions still shun women, so why is this?  Is there really a reason why a woman cannot fix a car or fire a weapon?  I will tell you that from my view women are feminine in essence and for that reason are usually not ideal for aggressive vocations such as fighting.  The real issue comes in with stereotypes and is perpetuated by learning.  We are taught from the day we are born what a particular gender does.  If your sex was male at birth then you are taught what the gender roles of men are.  If for some reason you participate in a woman’s role then you are disciplined or corrected. 

Physically each person has gifts that give them an advantage and putting those gifts to work makes a lot of sense.  When it comes right down to it, anyone can do any job, however some people will have an advantage in certain work situations.  It is important to see the person for the skills they possess and stop using gender as a clear indicator as to whether this person will be good at it.  If a woman wishes to do wood carving or car repair and becomes good at it then they should be welcomed as much as anyone else.  The same goes for men who enjoy working with babies or love to sew.

Male privilege is something that also figures in here, because traditionally men have been more accepted than women no matter what they do!  This is changing in today’s world, thank goodness, however it still exists and all I ask is that you see it and stop supporting it.   All people are created equal in God’s eyes.

Personal relationships challenge our gender roles more than anything else, so I would like you to look closely at your life.  Do you treat the opposite gender differently?  Why?  Is it ok for a woman to open the door for her man or for a woman to buy flowers for her partner?  If they do does this make them masculine?  Is this just common courtesy?  Should we put limits on what a person can do just because they are a certain gender?  Or should we listen to our heart and do what feels good?   I think you know the answer to these questions and there is no right answer, only what works for you!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Leave a comment »

Gender Expression

The following quote is from the new eBook coming out next month. 

“A few words about the differences of gender role and gender expression, while they are similar in that they are a choice, they are different in that gender expression is about our outer appearance and gender role is the activities we are involved in.  So wearing make-up and female clothes is a female gender expression, while a female gender role would be cleaning house and babysitting.  I hesitate to include this here as our roles and expressions are getting to be so varied and free.  The old rules are breaking down, so we are seeing women in combat duty now while 20 years ago that was almost unheard of.  Men are cleaning house, washing dishes and babysitting now days too and this does not make them female.  The best way I can put it is that we are integrating now as a society and our roles and gender expressions are much more open.  While a man in a woman’s role or a woman in a man’s role may be questioned, or even ridiculed, more of society is accepting them now.  Gender expression is the area which has less latitude.  In a male dominated society men expressing as woman are questioned far sooner than a woman expressing as a man.  It is assumed that everyone wants to be male!  (Not to imply this is choice.)”

I am sure you have an opinion on this topic and I am curious to hear what you have to say.  Gender expression has slowly gotten more liberated over time.  Just like anything else it goes through cycles.  The world today is shifting from a male dominated society to one that is more balanced and Matriarchal.

If masculine energy is active, feminine energy is passive.  We have both for a reason and right now the balance is shifting!  As much as it seems that there is much to do, take time every day to simply do nothing.  Play relaxing music if you like, but just take a few minutes at least to just sit and listen to the silence.  Get in touch with your feminine energy, the passive side that is soft, easy going, caring, compassionate and smooth.  Let go of the masculine energy or active side.  There is no need to be strong, hard, angular or aggressive right now.  Just relax and feel the peace.  The world needs your Peace, your Passivity and your Silence. 

Gender expression is about what you show the world.  The desire to live an authentic life and feeling free to do so is everyone’s right!  Just because you appear to be man or woman does not make it so.  Just because you act one way or the other does not make it so either!  So how does one know if they are in the right body and gender expression?  They just do.  Gender is an inner feeling or knowing that most of us never question, if you are questioning it then I suggest you visit the website below and discover more.  The next blog will discuss gender role and preview the eBook Sex and Sexuality.  Ta ta till then,

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

 Unity in Gender Diversity

Leave a comment »

The Law of Polarity

This 4th Universal Law is one that we face every day and when we understand this Law and how to transmute it so many doors open that lead to Joy, Peace and Love.  On the transition journey seeing the polarity, knowing that they are two parts of a whole and embracing both parts leads us to freedom.

“The Law of Polarity: “Everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree”. The first of the mutable Universal Laws tells us that there are two sides to everything. Things that appear as opposites are in fact only two extremes of the same thing. For instance heat and cold may appear to be opposites at first glance, but in truth they are simply varying degrees of the same thing. The same applies to love and hate, peace and war, positive and negative, good and evil, yes and no, light and darkness, energy and matter. You can transform your thoughts from hate to love, from fear to courage by consciously raising your vibrations. This is what in the ancient Hermetic Teachings is called the Art of Polarization.

Neutralizing the Law of Polarity: This Principle of Duality may appear to be very real in your life but it operates only in the physical and mental realms, not in the spiritual realm where All is One. As it says in the Bhagavad-Gita “God is Above the Opposites”. By always placing the all-powerful, all-knowing Great Spirit of which you are a part behind your every thought, statement and action, and by always focusing on the “good”, even when things appear to be going “bad”, then in time you will neutralize the Law of Polarity such that it ceases to operate in your life.” (Kotsos 2011)

Relating this Law to gender transition, male and female are parts of the whole and when you see this transition becomes so much easier.  Take a paper sack and turn it inside out, notice the similarities and the differences.  Now turn your paper sack into a plastic bag.  Having difficulty with that?  Paper and plastic come from different elements and are thus not the same.  We are able to transition from male to female or female to male because each is a pole of the same thing, Human.  We are not turning coal into gold here, we are turning the sack inside out. 

Focus on embracing both parts of the whole and putting them in place respective to your personal gender identity.  In essence you are showing the world who you are, not who they expect to see.  We do this by Loving all of our body, not just the part we identify with.  How can you only Love a part of God?  Or Love only a part of your Partner?  True Love and complete transition are total Love of all aspects of who you are! 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Ps. Personal footnote here, Loving all aspects of who you are does not preclude you from changing your body to better reflect your image.  In fact the act of Loving your body requires that you modify it to your vision.

Leave a comment »

MtoF Transition

The usual course of transition for a MtoF transsexual is to first dress as a woman and to socialize with your peers prior to taking the major step of CHT or Contra-Hormone Therapy.  Crossdressing and socialization does not need to be on a full time basis, although according the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) they do recommend full time dress for at least a year before surgery.  Socializing as a woman is very different than as a man so getting used to that aspect is greatly beneficial in both determining if you desire to progress and gaining the skills necessary to be successful.  Many things will come naturally for you such as mannerisms, emotional behavior including your needs and desires, and mental processes, because these are wired into the brain.  What may not be so natural is movement, social expectations and relationships, because these are learned.  Transition is basically the process of breaking down our learned “male” persona and allowing our natural female self to emerge.

It is important to be patient with the transition process and allow these things to occur naturally, although counseling, feminine coaching, and voice therapy do play an important part.  A skilled counselor can guide your path and point out aspects that are not natural if they are not obvious and help you get in touch with your authentic self.  The feminine coach is valuable in helping you to get in touch with feminine energy and develop its expression.  I must say the first time I felt my feminine energy vs. my masculine energy it was a revelation!  Being aware of our body’s energy and what we are projecting is very important.  For women to truly be feminine for instance do not project that energy, simply center yourself in it and this simple act will attract others.  This is the nature of receptive feminine energy.  I have posted a link on the gender links page of my website to The Yin Project who I highly recommend. 

Voice therapy is very important also and I suggest that you start this process as soon as possible, even before transitioning if you are planning that far ahead, which most of us do not.  Please see these recommended links.  I also recommend getting electrolysis started as soon as possible and depending on your age, I recommend doing laser first to clear the dark hairs and let the electrologist focus on the light hairs.  Don’t let the electrologist tell you that laser is not permanent because I know that it is from experience.   Links on this website page go over the whole process of transition planning, so this blog will stay focused on what to expect.  More info can be found on the website.  Expect laser to work and with about 6-8 treatments the dark hairs are gone for good.  Multiple treatments are necessary because of the growth cycles of hair, and just ask the person doing the hair removal to explain.  With the proper hormone regimen the face is the only area to be concerned with unless you are unusually hairy and I know that some men are.  That is OK (it doesn’t mean anything, unless you say it does, lol). 

The hormones do a remarkable job of reducing body hair and stopping male pattern hair loss.  Find a doctor who specializes in CHT for transgender/transsexual persons, because doing this yourself or using a doctor with little or no experience is setting yourself up for failure.  It can be done on your own, but that is contrary to what this whole journey is about in my opinion, which is to fully and completely experience the transition.  Many transwomen want to jump straight to the result and if that was the way it was meant to be then don’t you think that you would have been female from birth?  Please remember this blog is from my experience and if you desire a different experience then make it so.  More on this subject can be found here.   

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

2 Comments »

Self Identity

For those with Gender Identity issues understanding who you are is indeed a life long journey.  When you ask that profound question of “who am I?”, take a few minutes and feel the answer.  You may hear words, but instead of listening, simply feel. 

You are the only person who can truly know who you are.  No one can tell you although they may try.  This blog is about the journey of discovery in which one explores the inner depths of their own psyche and beyond.  As you may remember from earlier blogs, the mind is simply a tool used to interface with this environment, it is not who you are! 

Neither is the body “who you are”.   The body is simply a vessel which carries us about and to experience this world in which we live.  Our body has 5 senses, our mind has 6 and together they make up a complex system of collecting information about life.  Being human is all about the experience of life from every perspective and aspect.  So what does it mean to be a woman or a man?

This is the question that leads many gender variant individuals to therapy.  The odd thing is that most people would simply say “this is who I am” while looking in the mirror at their body, and really have no clue as to whether they feel like a man or woman!  You feel the way you do, so how do you know that is like a man or woman?  Who decided those parameters? 

The transgender journey is largely about accepting who you are, how you feel and the behaviors you are compelled to participate in.  Part of identity is self expression and this is often not a conscious decision, although sometimes it is.  For a man to have the desire to wear pantyhose or other woman’s clothing can be very confusing and frustrating.  The idea of being a woman trapped in a man’s body for me seemed absurd.  This question depends on how you define self. 

You are you and the rest is simply how you are experiencing the world.  The choice is yours how you experience the world and yet it is NOT.  It is like you have made the choice to get on a particular train (born male, female or intersex) and now you are having that experience.  The current choice comes in your attitude about the ride.  Are you going to enjoy it?  Will you jump off the train?  Will you feel sorry for yourself because you choose the “wrong” train?  Have you ever started on a trip and then forget where you were going before you got there?  Then you end up standing in the middle of the sidewalk wondering how you got there?  This happens more than we are willing to admit, especially in life’s journey. 

The next step is to choose again and move on with a renewed vigor for our new goal.  Happy to just be alive!  Paying attention to every little feeling and thought.  Not judging them but just noticing them and using them as a guide to our next step.  …Row…Row…Row…your…boat…gently…down…the…stream

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Leave a comment »

Coming Out

Coming out transgender is received differently than coming out GLB, except for your partner your Gender Identity has more effect on people you know than your Sexual Orientation does.  Some people may confuse the two and make assumptions, so I offer these things to be aware of when you make the leap.  Plan ahead and make sure you are OK with it first. 

  1. Be prepared for shock and disbelief, especially from those closest to you.  Think of how shocked you’d have been to learn of something like this about someone you thought you knew very well.
  2. Some will feel angry and betrayed and may judge you harshly.  Try to meet their anger with compassionate understanding.  Remember that they may be fearful of ‘losing’ someone of great importance in their lives.  Recognize that your transition may cause pain and hardship.  Acknowledge this pain and avoid being defensive. 
  3. Try to resist reacting with anger, as this will only make things worse.  Others are justified in feeling angry about your transition, just as you are justified in feeling the need to transition.
  4. At times you may feel euphoric about your self-discovery.  Caution against assuming others are feeling the same way about you.
  5. Expect skepticism with regard to the necessity of transitioning.  This is a natural reaction – treat it with patience.  These days, most people understand that being gay is not a matter of choice and being closeted is not healthy, so it may help to compare the need for gender transition with the need to accept one’s sexual orientation.  Treat efforts to “dissuade” you with good humor and respect.
  6. Be prepared for suggestions that your transition is a selfish choice.  If you feel you had no other choice, don’t be afraid to say so.  Ultimately, only you are qualified to judge this.  
  7. Your transition will be bewildering to many, who will look to you to help sort out their feelings.  If you maintain a positive, good-humored attitude about your transition, others are more likely to respond in kind.  Be positive about how you expect your transition to affect your life.  This is very important both for you and for others acceptance.
  8. For many, adjusting to your transition will take some time.  Keep in mind that you have spent much of your life dealing with these issues, while most have given them little thought.  For those who are disturbed by your transition, taking your time may help more than anything else you could do.
  9.  Feel free to offer information about being transgender, but don’t assume that it’s welcome.  Make clear that you welcome questions and are happy to discuss your transition.  Many are full of questions, may even be fascinated, but are reticent about prying.  When explaining transgender, do it with grace and sensitivity – don’t lecture or pontificate.
  10. As a transperson, you probably have thought more about what “gender” means than most folks.  Many will learn a thing or two about themselves when you share your experience with them.  Remember to be interested in their growth around your transition, just as you want them to be interested in yours.
  11. The type of relationship you establish before you come out will likely have a big effect on how the coming out is received.
  12. Some of your family and friends may celebrate your courage, rejoice in your finding yourself, and congratulate you on your breakthrough.  Don’t forget to show them how much their support means to you.

I Bless your journey of Love and offer my assistance if needed.  Visit my website, Unity in Gender Diversity for contact info and more information on transition both spiritual and gender related. 

I Love YOU,  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Leave a comment »

Gender is a Rainbow

Are you man or woman? How about male or female? Just because you are male does that mean that you are a man?  What if you have female sexual organs but feel like neither a woman nor a man?  Who makes up these rules anyway?

Think of a scale with 0 being in the middle and 100% Male at one end and 100% female at the other.  Now stand in the middle and let go.  Which way do you move?  How far?  Are you in the same place as you were a year ago?  How about 20 years ago?

Gender Identity is your sense of being man, woman, neither or both.  It is a scale of masculinity and femininity which can only be determined by you and your feelings.  How do you feel compelled to express yourself?  Which roles are you most comfortable in?  If you were to ask these questions to every person in the world, you would likely get answers all over the scale with most being near the middle of each direction and only a few at each end, but more in the middle than at the ends.

 

Gender is a rainbow of identity and everyone falls somewhere on the scale, but not necessarily in congruence with your body.  Transgender individuals often fall within the middle 50% of the chart, but opposite of their birth sex.  A person who is right in the middle would be considered androgynous.

You may be asking, “This is all fine and dandy, but how does this affect me?”  This matters because it affects your relationships and how you relate to others.  The person you meet at work or at the mall may appear to be male or female but in fact be transgender.  Putting that person into a box is the temptation and often in our society it is the teaching.  What I am asking of you here is to see the rainbow and accept it.  We all are going to have a different gender identity so it only makes sense to honor the differences while seeing the similarities.  You have many ways of relating to this person and gender is but one.

See what you have in common with the person you are talking with, meeting for the first time, or sitting next to on the bus.  Our gender identity is expressed in the way we dress, talk, and act.  If this happens to be different than you, which most of the time it will be, accept them and find out who they are before putting them in a box or labeling them.

No matter what label or box they end up in make it OK and live by the golden rule.  Now that you understand gender apply the same guidelines to sexual orientation and please do not assume you know one or the other. Sexual Orientation has little to do with ones Gender Identity!

Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Leave a comment »

What Next Cont.

By loving a transgender person you have embarked on a grand journey of discovery that has no bounds.  We are all on a journey to discover who we are.  In the process of thinking and doing, we see who we are not.  Along the way many personas emerge, and with each step you are closer to who you really are.  In the end we discover that there is really only one, and this is GOD.

Who you are attracted to guides you closer to discovering your inner self.  Since the world is an inside job, we must look within to find the source.  We do this by looking around us and discovering what we are creating!  It is much like a house of mirrors that distorts and exaggerates our true nature.  This is where we resort to our feelings and let them guide us because our eyes betray. 

Close your eyes and connect to your feelings right now.  I will wait.  …. Take a least a minute to feel deep inside.   Identify each feeling and simply acknowledge it.  Maybe it is calm, maybe it is anger, maybe it is affection but no matter what it is say “I see you, and all is well”.  Be careful not to judge here, but simply observe.  Make a list of all the feelings you observe and yes this may take longer than one minute, it is worth every second.  The deeper you look the more you will find, so let consciousness flow.  Now set this list aside for later use and go about your day, still making no judgments.  Anger is not bad and loving affection is not good, unless you say so, which just happens to be the next step.

Somewhere in that soup of feelings are desires and dreams.  Get in touch with those next and this can be done at any time, but usually best when things are quiet.  Notice what feels good and what seems to cause pain.  Certain thoughts or dreams will excite you and make you feel lighter, write these down.  Other thoughts will scare you and can be painful, write these down also.  Action is not required at this stage so just relax and feel.  Take your time and keep these writing in a journal or diary.  It is important to come back to them at some point though. 

The next step is to embrace these feelings and explore each one all the while being aware of your thoughts, emotions and feelings.  If you are male but have the desire to dress as a woman then do so and get help if needed there are links on my website.  If you are female but feel that you should have a penis then try one on, most XXX video stores have strap-ons you can purchase(for adults only!).  Take your time and notice how you feel along the journey.  If you are adolescent then it is even more important to take your time and not to run from your feelings.  Write to me if you need someone to talk to, I am happy to help. 

This process of looking within and feeling your feelings can take a lifetime, so do not get discouraged.  Remember it is about loving all of your aspects and simply being who you are.  Let go of expectations and relax, simply be yourself!

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Leave a comment »

What Next?

Having decided that you are indeed transgender, what next?  For those who do not know, it is not always easy to accept that you are different than most people.  I mean we grow up knowing who we are and relating to the world through our eyes but we do not know what a woman is supposed to feel like or how a man is supposed to feel.  We have no frame of reference as a child. 

Gender is something that only the individual can decide or more accurately discover!  I am speaking of gender identity which has little to do with sexual orientation.  That will be an entirely different blog.  Our physical sex does not determine our gender identity and I have a great article explaining all that here on my website. 

There is an innate feeling of misalignment for the transgender person, however so many of us want to fit in believing that this determines our love.  We often think that acceptance comes from people around us like our parents and siblings.  I am here to tell you that it does not.  Acceptance comes from within our own minds and hearts after we have come to terms with our true nature.  While transgender may be a variation of natural selection it is not wrong, bad, a disorder or a disease.  It is simply who you are! 

Once you have discovered who you are, and transgender individuals often have a sense of this at an early age, the journey becomes accepting yourself; loving the differences while noticing the similarities also, because acceptance is loving the whole package.   Honor the feelings you have inside by allowing them to express.  Look deep inside and embrace your findings with courage.  If you need help along the way ask!  This inner journey is something that everyone must do in order to grow and to expand their understanding of who they are. 

If you are someone who loves a transgender person then I salute your choice and your bravery.  Love is not about right or wrong it is about discovery of the deeper self.  It is a two way journey and a blessing for everyone participating.  Love is unconditional and it often chooses us, by this I mean we fall into it quite unknowingly.  Once there it can be a wonderful and magical experience when embraced.  The unknown can be scary so let me assure you that nothing but good comes from Love.   To be continued….

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Leave a comment »

The Art of Observation

The art of observation is our best tool in transition.  Children and babies use this technique and so should we.  So what do I mean “the art of observation”?  It is really very simple and it goes like this.  Of course we must know what our desired result is to start with.  It is like writing a good book, you start with the ending!

Let’s use the example of male to female transition.  I know I am a woman in a male body, so I hold a vision of the woman I feel myself to be.  I may even get a picture and keep it with me.  I share my vision with others who are supportive.  I desire to express myself more appropriately as the woman I am, however since I have a male body I have learned how to be a man not a woman.  By using the art of observation I simply observe women in action, walking, talking, getting angry, laughing, smiling, working, dressing, shopping etc.  It is good to choose a woman who you would like to be like, a role model.  Most of us use our mothers since we see them every day and this is precisely what I did.  I have always known I was like mom so she is the one I learned from just as any daughter would do, even though she thought I was her son. 

She taught me to coordinate colors and styles, how to cook, how to clean, and all the usual housekeeping tasks because she wanted me to be self sufficient.  What she did not realize is that she taught me how to act like a lady in public, how to walk like a lady, hand & body gestures, ways of styling my hair, going to the salon every 2-3 wks, and the list goes on.  You get the idea now, that we watch our role models every move and copy it!  The result will be as good as our choice in role models.  We will obviously have our own personality, likes and dislikes, however even most of these are learned from our parents and family or the people we are around the most.  If you were raised by your grandmother then she will be who you learn from. 

If there are traits you do not like, then you can pick and choose just as you would in a buffet line!  You may decide that you wish to be like Lady Gaga or Madonna, it really does not matter.  Just be observative and in the end you will create the person of your dreams.  The secret to it all is being aware enough to make the observations consciously so that you can incorporate them into your behavior.  Be very attuned to detail and notice the small things.  Life is full of nuance and that is the beauty of it all.  For more on awareness check out this article on Unity in Gender Diversity.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Leave a comment »

Is It Time?

How do I know I am ready to transition?  What do you think about when you wake up in the morning?  What are you thinking about when you go to bed?  Are you thinking about it all through the day?  In this case you probably already have started your transition.  I of course am speaking of transitioning from male to female or female to male in order to express ones gender identity.

Many people who are not transgender ask the question, why do you need to transition at all?  To many TG’s the answer is obvious but let me just clarify.  Being transgender is living a lie unless we can express ourselves as who we truly are.  We need to transition as much as anyone needs to be understood and loved!  If you can imagine going through life without love, never being understood, not being able to express your ideas, and not being able to live your visions and dreams, then you know what it is like to not transition. 

There is an energy expressing in us, through us, as us and to withhold that energy is impossible.  It must be released or the person dies, or harms another.  It really is very simple, are you being the person of your dreams?  If not, then why?  Are you fulfilling your destiny?  If you are truly a transgender person and you are living your birth sex then no you are not fulfilling your destiny. 

This is not something that pops up at the age of 35 or 40 all of sudden.  This is something that has been with you since birth and you have been denying it.  If you have no memory of having gender doubt or feelings of not being in the right body then you are not transgender.  And I mean constantly for years and not just a few times. 

The important thing is to live your life authentically and be true to who you are inside. In order to do this you must be honest with yourself.  And you must get to know yourself.  Some of us are so busy living stereotypes and expectations of others we don’t even know who we are.  Being alone is very important for this and I would suggest taking a camping trip or weekend in a remote place with no electronics.  Simply be with yourself, feel your feelings, write your thoughts down, find things that you enjoy.  How are you creative?  What are your best features?   What would you like to share about yourself with the world? 

Once you figure out who you are, then share that with those closest to you.  Find those who are supportive and be willing to let go of those who are not, and this sometimes means letting go of those closest to you, parents, children, spouses, family.  You deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are!   Please do not hide from the world.  You are loved and our purpose here is to share that love.  Being Transgender is a gift, just like being a genius or a natural athlete.  If all the above describes you then maybe it is time to transition. 

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

4 Comments »

The Essence of Transition

So what is transition really?  Ok, so it is a change, but what does that mean?  Change is the most constant force in the Universe!  By transition do we mean a flower blooming?  Or a child growing to an adult?  Not really, although those can be thought of as transitions.  Let’s go deeper and be a bit more specific.  The transition I am speaking of today is gender. 

In one way the transition is not about change at all, but about awareness.  Just being aware of what already is.  Our core person does not change; it is who we are.  Like peeling the layers of an onion the transition journey is about looking deeper within and throwing away the false self.  We have many false identities not just one.  Getting caught up in this outer world is so easy with all the roles we have thrust upon us.  

“Real” gender transition is about removing the false persona, or male identity (for MtoF) which we created to “fit” into the world based on the existing rules.  Removing the veil and allowing our authentic self to emerge is what the journey is all about.  Growing up takes time so transition does not happen overnight, however it does happen a lot faster than the first time around, unless you are one of the lucky ones who have not allowed the veil to be drawn.  When we start young the false persona is not created, but we still must be aware of our authentic self and make sure that is who we are expressing.

Transition is a natural process that really needs no assistance other than deep awareness.  Are you aware of how you feel?  What makes you happy?  Have you walked down that road and deeply enjoyed the journey?  If you are male transitioning to female then dress up and see how it feels.  Know as much as you can what you are getting into (or vice versa guys).  Letting go of your male persona is like trying to escape a swarm of mosquitoes!  It can drive you insane! 

Sometimes guidance is necessary along the way, so please get help if you can.  Discovering the aspects of you that are false can be a long road and not an obvious one.  The most important aspect of the transition journey is to be authentic and natural.  Authenticity involves following your bliss, and doing that which brings Joy to your heart.  Let go of any desire to play a role or attempt to fit other people’s expectations.  It is not about being black or white (male or female), but about showing your true colors!

Blessings on your journey of Love      🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Leave a comment »

When did it all begin?

When does transition begin?  Does it have a beginning? Or an end?  Transition is a process of change, so it never really has a beginning or an end, because change is on-going.  Ever since the big bang the universe has been expanding and changing!  There is no end.

On a more personal level, your transition began the day you were conceived!  What we experience and often think of as a “transition” are cycles or phases of change.  These occur at many levels and often at the same time.  Our bodies are growing all the time no matter how old you are.  Even at the age of 100 your body is growing new cells to replace old ones and this continues till the old ones far outweigh the new ones, then that body dies and the cycle begins again, in a new lifetime.  This is all going on while we experience emotional changes, mental changes, and spiritual changes.  Transition is multi-dimensional.

For those of us on a gender transition journey, the word “transition” holds unique meaning.  For most of us this journey begins when we start on hormones, however I will state that the first stage or cycle is questioning.  On my website I have an eleven step transitioning guide that outlines the steps as I see them based on my research and experiences.  There could be more or less steps; however, each phase is a transition in itself.  Take the hormones for instance; this phase or transition cycle has a specific start and significant steps along the path.  For those who have the surgery, the post op regimen will differ greatly from the pre-op cycle and the end is not the same for everyone.  Some post op transwomen take hormones the rest of their lives and others will stop taking hormones once they reach a certain age. 

The cycles have certain similarities between people, but each person will have specific differences in their transition cycles or phases.  Our experiences define us to an extent, but they are not who we are. Life is made up of one experience after another like the layers of an onion, only far more complex.  So when does transition begin?  It depends on which one you are speaking of and who you are asking!  Blessings on your journey of Love 🙂    Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Leave a comment »

Community Action

Community action is a method I see many transgender people using to cope with their situation in life.  It is almost like they are called to do that work, and I am sure they are.  We are each on a unique journey of which some of those journeys are closely allied. 

My advice on community action is to follow your heart.  Do what feels right to you, but do not do it so that you belong to a group or fit in.  This is something that you do for yourself.  In fact everything you do is for you!  Think about that from the perspective of oneness.  That person you are helping is part of the One, All That Is, they are an extension of you. From this perspective community action is self love!

In a way this is a paradox.  In order to truly help yourself you must take care of others and the way you do this is to make sure your body is clean and healthy, you eat good foods and are living a happy life.  Narcissistic behavior is when you think you are all there is in the world and are obsessed with yourself.  Poor self worth is when you ignore your own needs and place others on a pedestal.  Balance needs to be obtained and maintained. 

Community has so much more value when we understand that we are all one.  Planet Earth is a living organism, and each of us is like a cell in Gaia.  Each and everything you experience here is a part of the whole.  If you lose a few hairs it is no big deal, but lose them all and you feel it.  Our skin is constantly dropping the dead cells and replacing them with new cells.  This is exactly like our Planet is losing people every day and replacing them with new births!  This holographic cycle is repeated throughout the Universe at every level from the microscopic to the galactic! 

Take a minute to feel your connection to all that is.  Know that you are a vital piece of the cosmic plan!  When you go out and participate in community activities, feel the connection to the plants and animals, and to each person you meet.  They are a reflection of who you are, who we all are, Divinity Expressed!

😉  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Leave a comment »