Oneness Ministry

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Testing Testing…

Testing, testing… this is a test to see if anyone reads this blog.  Please click like or make a comment if you have been reading this “Transitions Blog”.  I am also quite interested to hear any new topics for discussion.  Do you have any questions concerning Spirituality, Transitions, or Gender?  I usually go with what is popular in the news, however today I feel the need to get more direct or personal if you will.  How are you feeling?  Have you read the free eBooks available on the website?

Transitions Blog has helped me sort through many of the issues surrounding Gender Transition and I pray it has helped you too.  Please stay in touch for the next Transitions Blog which will feature the results of this little test.  Have a Blessed Day!

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     FREE eBooks! Click Here

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Be The Observer

Observation is our best tool in transition.  Children use this technique and so should we, so what do I mean “Be the Observer”?  It is really very simple and it goes like this.  Of course you must know what your desired result is to start with.  It is like writing a good book, you start with the ending!

Let’s use the example of male to female transition.  You know you are a woman in a male body, so hold a vision of the woman you feel yourself to be.  Create a picture and keep it with you.  Share your vision with others who are supportive.  (Stay away from people who constantly criticize)  Desire to express yourself more appropriately as the woman you are by learning how to be a woman not a man.  Use the power of observation to simply observe women in action, walking, talking, getting angry, laughing, smiling, working, etc.  It is good to choose a woman who you would like to be like, a role model.

Observe how they dress, coordinate colors and styles, cook, clean, shop, and all the usual daily tasks.  The power of observation will teach you how to act like a lady in public, walk like a lady, hand & body gestures, ways of styling hair, etc.  You get the idea now to watch your role model(s) every move and copy it!  The result will be as good as your choice in role models.

Obviously you have your own personality, likes and dislikes, however even most of these are learned from your parents and family or the people you are around the most.  If there are traits you do not like, then you can pick and choose just as you would in a buffet line!

As you practice being the observer you will create the person of your dreams.  The secret to it is being aware enough to make the observations consciously so that you can incorporate them into your behavior.  Be very attuned to detail and notice the small things.  Life is full of nuance and that is the beauty of it all.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity    Free eBooks

 

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Why Transition?

Recently I was asked why anyone would want to take hormones and have surgery to change their sex.  They were curious about the personal benefits involved.  We often hear the costs involved, such as $$$, social status, and sexual dysfunction, however what a cysgender person cannot know is the pain, dysfunction, and inner turmoil that exists for a transgender person.  The very question demonstrates a lack of understanding.  So let’s set the record straight by explaining a few things.

First of all, incongruency exists for a transgender person, because they live in the opposite body of which both their brain and identity have aligned.  They are operating without the proper chemistry and attempting to work with the wrong tools.  You can use pliers to hammer nails but it just does not work very well.

Hormones assist in the regulation of brain function.  What determines Gender Identity is the effect of hormones on the fetus in the earliest stages of development.  “Scientific evidence has been growing that somehow certain brain-structures in the hypothalamus (the BSTc region) determine each person’s core gender feelings and innate gender identity. These structures are “hard-wired” pre-natally in the lower brain centers and central nervous system (CNS) during the early stages of pregnancy”.  (Dennis, Carina 2004)

Further, “Six years ago, the Netherlands Institute of Brain Research published the results of a study they had been conducting…. A subsequent report was published last year in the leading international journal for neurological studies, The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism [85 (5): 2034-41; May, 2000]….  What the researchers found were significant differences in the brains of men and women relevant to reproductive hormones, cognition, emotions, and our body’s responses to them. The differences were both in magnitude and consistency and involve a region of the hypothalamus identified as the BSTc. Human males average about twice as many neurons within the BSTc as do females. In both males and females, transsexuals did not have the neuron number typical of their gender, but, instead, had the number typical of the sex they always believed they should be.” (Niedermayer, Grace 2004)

The relief a transgender person feels from the proper hormones is usually a euphoric experience.  The beautiful thing about contra-hormone therapy (CHT) is the effects are reversible completely for about the first six months and even after years of therapy if the person decides to revert, although sterility is likely.  In only a few weeks it is clear if CHT is the right choice.

Testosterone in a body wired for estrogen or vice versa will create dysphoria, agitation, and irritability.  So if euphoria and a general peaceful feeling are not experienced then CHT is not the answer and other treatment is indicated.  Yes, CHT is a treatment for a medical condition, gender incongruency (formally known as Gender Dsyphoria).

As in any medical condition it is best to have specific medical guidance by someone with experience in gender therapy!  It is possible to treat yourself, just as anyone with any medical condition can do, however the results very drastically.  Hormones are not a recreational drug!  I find this almost comical that someone would think so, and yet invariably people do.  If you would like to know more about hormones, their effects, what to expect, other gender and sexual info please read my eBook, Sex and Sexuality, One Woman’s Journey of Discovery.

😀 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity             Free eBooks

 

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Discipline, a tool for better living

Discipline is key to success in just about anything you do in life.  Now there will be serendipitous successes, however in the larger picture a person must be disciplined to achieve anything of greatness.  Think back through your life and notice the big successes.  Did they take planning and fortitude to complete?

Building a career, a house, completing a gender transition, making a move to a different country, etc. all take discipline, because they are major undertakings.  Even small tasks such as cooking dinner or washing laundry benefit from forethought and planning.  We have all tried to do things without planning and ended up doing the task over and over before it was done correctly.  Research pays off!

Thought, word, action is the process in any transition. First you visualize the goal or the end product and then you write down a plan and/or discuss the plan with someone you respect and trust.  Once the vision has been created and the process is firm within your mind and those helping, action is the next step.  It is important to believe in yourself and actually take action or it will simply be a pipe dream.  Un-acted on dreams tend to morph into resentment and become destructive, so this brings us back to discipline.

Building discipline takes time and effort, but with determination and the power of intention there is nothing you cannot achieve.  Martial arts are a good way to practice discipline as is any sport.  Arts and crafts are also a way to build discipline.  Any activity that requires repeated practice to perfect is an exercise in discipline.  Little do you realize learning an instrument or foreign language is actually building a skill that serves in many ways.

When you are faced with a major transition the discipline you developed in our younger years will pay off in spades!  This is the point behind 12+ years of school, years of sports, or music lessons.  It all leads up to greater consciousness.  This is what education is all about anyway, growth of the soul, and spiritual consciousness.

Discipline is a tool used on the path, the better your discipline the stronger the growth.  So don’t get caught up in the details and the seemingly menial tasks along the way.  Discipline develops over time and when used consciously it empowers you to manifest all your dreams!

😀 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender DiversityFree eBooks

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An Expression of Inner Self

The essence of gender transition is an expression of inner self.  A process of living authentically as the person you are.  It is throwing societal dualistic expectations to the wind and being true to your soul.  It could be described as a deep spiritual experience accented by physical changes.  The journey is painful, loss is always involved, and the rewards are felt deep within your soul.

Gender transition is much like any transition.  Take ultimate transition for instance, the above paragraph could just as easily be describing what happens at death!  There is no choice about it, once you realize that your destiny is to transition it is a forgone conclusion.  The choice becomes, “How will I experience the transition”.

A common statement I have heard over the last few years working at the Gender Identity Center coming from new people who are inquiring of their services.  “I want to be a woman, do you provide hormones?”  A clear demonstration of misunderstanding!  It is not about wanting anything; it is about being who you are!  It is not fixed by taking a pill or having surgery, those are treatments for symptoms that may or may not be apparent at this point.

Gender Incongruency is the present terminology for describing “an incongruence between, on the one hand, what identity one experiences and/or expresses and, on the other hand, how one is expected to live based on one’s assigned gender (usually at birth) (Meyer-Bahlburg, 2009a; Winters, 2005)”.  Gender Identity is self-determined; meaning the person seeking treatment must tell the provider how they identify.  There are personality tests, feedback from family and friends, and general behavior markers that give a clue as to the gender identity, but those are only guidelines.  The individual must look within their heart, see the path they are already on, and then choose to walk it.  Meditation is a great tool for achieving this.

Once the choice is made to walk the destined path, then treatment is appropriate!  Professional guidance makes the journey much easier and more rewarding as does treatment with hormones and surgery.  A person can walk this path alone and many have, but that is like crossing the Himalayas on your own, instead do your homework, make the appropriate preparations, and then with the help of a guide make the journey a fun and exciting one that leads to Shambala!

Please remember that everything we do is ultimately for the feeling it brings us.  In the case of gender transition for the gender incongruent it brings relief, contentment, and joy!

😀 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Free eBooks click here

 

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Be The Change

What is this thing called transition and why do I care?  The basic term is fairly simple and broad in meaning.  It simply means a change from one state of being to another.  The key word here is being.  This is a state of being not doing.  Doing is not involved in transition.  There is nothing you can “do” to transition.  As you be that which you are, that which you are reveals itself. 

Once you think about this for a few minutes you will realize the profoundness of this statement.  I will repeat it so you can get your head around this, there is nothing you can “do” to transition!  It matters not what type of transition you are experiencing either.  The transition can be gender related, work related, life style related or whatever.  Transition is about being, not doing.   This can appear to be shifting, and you may have different experiences and points of view, but your essence does not change.

Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as saying, “Be the change you desire to see in the world”.  So what does this mean?  It means that your state of being is a product of your desires.  If you are being a woman then you are one and what you “do” follows this.   If you move to a new home far away does this change your state of being?  If you wear the clothes of the opposite sex does this change who you are being?

What I am saying here is transition involves a lot more than just changing your behavior, location or circumstances.  Transition is a change in being-ness at the very core of who you are.  As an example the transgender community often talks about all the physical changes involved, but rarely do they discuss the deep inner changes required to fully transition.  Getting SRS or Breast augmentation does not change who you are or who you are being!

Cis-gender women and men rarely even consider their gender, because it is a perfectly natural state of being to them.  To a transgender person however their state of being seems off and they desire to change or transition to a state that is harmonious.  In order to fully transition then a person must change from one state of being to another.

Gender Transition is more than changing appearances; it is an awareness of the inner self and then simply being it.  The exterior conforms to the state of being.  This comes back to what we discussed earlier, As above so below. (see last blog)  The physical, mental, and spiritual are connected and as one changes the others follow.  This happens in the order of Spiritual, Mental and then Physical.  This means that it is not a conscious choice to change genders, but it is a Spiritual one!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

 

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As Above So Below

As above so below; as below so above!  What exactly does this mean?  Why is it important?  I have been thinking about this Universal Law of Correspondence and how it relates to Gender Transition.  So let’s start with the first question, what exactly does this mean?

The Universal Law of Correspondence tells us there is “harmony, agreement and correspondence” between the physical, mental and spiritual realms. There is no separation since everything in the Universe, including you, originates from the One Source. The same pattern is expressed on all planes of existence from the smallest electron to the largest star and vice versa. All is One.

The why is this question important, is a no brainer!  This is the essence of our being; the nature of our very existence!  “It is possible that each of us is a function of what the whole cosmos is doing at a point called here and now. In effect, each of us IS the whole universe looking at itself through our eyes. The universe is conscious and self-aware, a.k.a. God, and this awareness and consciousness is within each of us. In other words, what happened to Jesus was NOT a unique experience that only happened to one man in all history and prehistory, but something that EACH of us can experience directly when we tune in to the consciousness that is the base of our existence.” (Watson, Chris 2007)

Just how this quote (As above so below; as below so above) relates to gender transition is the meat of this blog.  As always I would love to hear your take on how this relates to gender transition.  Here is my take on it.  We are experiencing an enlightenment on the scale of Jesus, Buddha, Babaji and many others.  We are realizing that gender is a human construct and simply does not exist at higher frequencies of existence.  It is necessary in this world to facilitate propagation and fully experience the duality of this world.  Gender supplies balance in a world that requires it, but is rarely in balance.

You may remember me saying, I am a Spiritual Being having a human experience.  This explains this law quite succinctly and adds profound meaning to the saying, as above so below.  This means that here in the below world we are coming into realization of the Oneness with above.  As we do this we experience enlightenment!  I am one with my creator, and in fact I am my creator experiencing a unique aspect of myself, known to me as (insert name).

Gender transition is me knowing myself as more than a simple body, singular dimension, limited animal in a cruel world.  Everyone in this world is experiencing the opposite of who they really are!  As we awaken to the Truth we are set free!  Each person awakens in their own way experiencing life from a unique perspective.

The physical changes experienced in this world do manifest in the higher frequency realms because we are all connected in Oneness.  Seeing the perfection in this is my goal.  What I do in this world impacts my evolution in many dimensions, just as what I do there affects me here!  I am BOTH male & female and Neither!  Love is the answer.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

 

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Law of Polarity Revisited

This 4th of 7 Universal Law is one that we face every day and when we understand this Law and how to transmute it so many doors open that lead to Joy, Peace and Love.  On the transition journey seeing the polarity, knowing that they are two parts of a whole and embracing both parts leads us to freedom.

“The Law of Polarity: “Everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree”. The first of the mutable Universal Laws tells us that there are two sides to everything. Things that appear as opposites are in fact only two extremes of the same thing. For instance heat and cold may appear to be opposites at first glance, but in truth they are simply varying degrees of the same thing. The same applies to love and hate, peace and war, positive and negative, good and evil, yes and no, light and darkness, energy and matter. You can transform your thoughts from hate to love, from fear to courage by consciously raising your vibrations. This is what in the ancient Hermetic Teachings is called the Art of Polarization.

Neutralizing the Law of Polarity: This Principle of Duality may appear to be very real in your life but it operates only in the physical and mental realms, not in the spiritual realm where All is One. As it says in the Bhagavad-Gita “God is Above the Opposites”. By always placing the all-powerful, all-knowing Great Spirit of which you are a part behind your every thought, statement and action, and by always focusing on the “good”, even when things appear to be going “bad”, then in time you will neutralize the Law of Polarity such that it ceases to operate in your life.” (Kotsos 2011)

Relating this Law to gender transition, male and female are parts of the whole and when you see this transition becomes so much easier.  Take a paper sack and turn it inside out, notice the similarities and the differences.  Now turn your paper sack into a plastic bag.  Having difficulty with that?  Paper and plastic come from different elements and are thus not the same.  We are able to transition from male to female or female to male because each is a pole of the same thing, Human.  We are not turning coal into gold here; instead we are turning the sack inside out.

Focus on embracing both parts of the whole and putting them in place respective to your personal gender identity.  In essence you are showing the world who you are, not who they expect to see.  This is done by Loving all of your body, not just the part you identify with.  How can you only Love a part of God?  Or Love only a part of your Partner?  True Love and complete transition are total Love of all aspects of who you are, good or bad!

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Ps. When I use capital letters with words like Love, I refer to Divine Love, not ego love.  If you don’t know the difference read my eBooks or write to me, I am happy to explain.

Pss. Know that you have free will, so changing any aspect of your body is your choice and does not affect Polarity, you are always both male and female.  It is simply a matter of which is being expressed.

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Gender Surgery

Continuing from the previous blog post, doing research concerning transition and Genital Reassignment Surgery (GRS) is very important.  The older term SRS (Sexual Reassignment Surgery) is still used by some.  Please review this page in the Gender Learning Center (Click here) for assistance in your research.

SRS/GRS is not as complicated as one would think.  The procedure has been done now for over 50 years and lately the surgeons are getting very good at it.  Some of the issues to be concerned with are logistics, cost and convenience.  The skill of the surgeon is a very hot topic and while this is important, it is not as big an issue as it would seem.  Depending on where the surgery is done, most countries have strict standards doctors must abide by, especially since surgery and medical care has become a commodity that brings in big money.  Thailand and India are emerging as world leaders in this market so they definitely deserve a close look and your consideration when it comes to choosing your surgeon and location.   The price you pay is many hours in a plane traveling across the world to save a few thousand dollars.  When you can barely sit down, being in an airplane for 20+ hours is not appealing.  Of course there are options to cope with this such as meds and cushions.  From what I hear it is worth the trip.

The USA has several very good surgeons now doing SRS/GRS, so look closely at the local options.  Most gender therapists will know who they are as do the gender support groups.   I will not list them here because I would leave some out and that is not my purpose here.  The informational sites I list on my website do include several surgeons, however I chose them on the basis of information provided, not on how good the surgeon is.  If you have questions or need help finding someone close to you I am happy to assist.  See the website Unity in Gender Diversity.

Logistics includes things like travel, housing, post care, assistance during recovery, preparations before surgery, documentation (passport, proper ID, surgery letters from your therapist), and medical records.  Each surgeon will have requirements for you to meet, and they give ample advanced notice in most cases, however it is prudent to research this, so you are prepared.  Call it peace of mind.

Cost is an issue that we all are acutely aware of.  Many options exist however it is recommended that you get references from the surgeon you choose and make sure the location has the resources to provide safe and effect treatment in the event of an unexpected emergency.   The costs include, travel, housing, food, surgeon fees, hospital fees, operating room fees, anesthesia fees, and medicines.  Most surgeons have package deals so make sure exactly what you are getting and what will be extra.  The recovery time is at least two weeks and many take as much as six weeks, so another cost is time off of work.

Convenience is the last but not least concern when choosing a surgeon and location.  It is not to be under estimated. From the many post op transsexuals I have talked with, being able to travel a short distance to the surgery center and home again is a real plus.  The horror stories of being on a plane for hours and hours is something to consider carefully.  Take into consideration your age, possible side trips, who will be with you, and your travel experience.  Those who are seasoned travelers will be more inclined to go far to save a little money.  I also hear that sightseeing in places like Thailand can make it all worthwhile.  Don’t rule out locations such as Europe, Mexico, Caribbean, India, or Canada.  Check with your local Gender support group for those surgeons who are close to you and be sure to check credentials and review customer satisfaction of others who have experienced their services.

Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

 

 

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Trans-Gender Expectations

The usual course of transition for a Male to Female (MtoF) Transgender is to first dress as a woman and to socialize with peers prior to taking the major step of CHT (Contra-Hormone Therapy).  (HRT is hormone replacement therapy and since transition is about change and not replacement this term does not apply to the trans journey). Socializing as a woman is very different than as a man so getting used to that aspect is greatly beneficial in both determining if you desire to progress (going full time) and gaining the skills necessary to be successful.  Many things will come naturally because they are innate such as mannerisms, emotional behavior including needs and desires, and mental processes.  The learned traits may not be natural such as movement, social expectations and relationships.  Gender transition is basically the process of breaking down learned “male” persona and allowing the natural female self to emerge.  This will be easy for some; however, it is a big road block for most.  Only 5% of those who attempt transition fully complete the journey from male to female; the larger percentage end up somewhere in between, which for many is perfectly acceptable and may in fact have been the goal all along.

It is important to be patient with the transition process and allow these things to occur naturally through counseling, feminine coaching, and voice therapy.  A skilled gender therapist/counselor guides the path and provides a third person perspective to facilitate getting in touch with the authentic self.  The feminine coach is valuable in helping to get in touch with feminine energy and develop its expression.  I must say the first time I felt my feminine energy vs. my masculine energy it was a revelation!  Being aware of the body’s energy and what it projects is very important.  To truly express feminine energy do not project energy instead simply center in the divine feminine and this energy will attract others.  I have posted a link on the transgender links page of Unity in Gender Diversity to The Yin Project.  The feminine coaching here is highly recommended.

Voice therapy is vital to MtoF transition.  Start this process as soon as possible, even before transitioning if you are planning that far ahead.  I also recommend getting electrolysis started as soon as possible and depending on your age, I recommend doing laser first to clear the dark hairs and let the electrologist focus on the light hairs.  It will take 6-10 laser treatments.  Don’t let the electrologist tell you that laser is not permanent because I know that it is from experience.   There is a page on this website that goes over the whole process of transition planning.  Expect laser to work and with the proper hormone regimen the face is the only area that needs treatment unless you are unusually hairy and I know that some men are.  Not to worry, this is a part of the journey, so plan for it.

The hormones do a remarkable job of reducing body hair and stopping male pattern hair loss.  Find a doctor who specializes in CHT for transgender/transsexual persons, because doing this yourself or using a doctor with little or no experience is inviting failure.  Getting periodic lab testing done to monitor liver function and other factors is vital to maintain a healthy transition.  Plus working with a skilled professional assures the desired results.  It can be done on your own, but that is contrary to what this whole journey is about in my opinion, which is to fully and completely experience the transition.  This journey can be lethal so take it very seriously!

Many transgender/transsexual persons want to jump straight to the result and if that was meant to be then don’t you think you would have been female from birth?  I can hear all the opinions flying as I write this which is great, remember this is from my experience and if you desire a different experience then make it so.

Surgery is a step that many desire and is the only known successful method of treating severe gender dysphoria.  It is not for everyone though and will be addressed in the next blog.  So stay tuned 😉

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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The Nature Of Consciousness

The word consciousness is being used often these days, so I think to fully appreciate the depth and meaning of this word and this age we now live in we should take a closer look.   Transition has been and will always be a major part of life.  Are you prepared for it? 

Gender transition is one aspect of a much greater change or transition that is occurring right now and has been taking place over the last 150 years or so.  I find it interesting that so many transgender individuals are coming out these days as the environment or consciousness evolves to a greater acceptance level.  So much of the fear, guilt and angst surrounding any deviant or anti-social behavior has been given rise by the religious institutions of the past.  Once again this is a product of the level of consciousness at the time. 

The Mayan calendar is not a calendar of time, but of consciousness!  The last wave of consciousness begins today Mar. 9th starting an awakening of Universal Consciousness.  The calendar ends on Oct. 28th 2011, meaning this cycle of consciousness is coming to an end.  Many of you have probably been aware of this consciousness before, because the previous cycles have prepared us.  Those who were firmly rooted in the other levels of consciousness may have missed this preparation and thus are being introduced to it now.  This is a good thing.  Nothing is required other than being open and receptive. 

While this sounds easy, if you are firmly rooted in the old ways you will first have to release yourself from its grip.  A purging must occur!  Before a cup can be filled it must be emptied first!  The good news is that consciousness is expanding and growing so there is no going back.  There is no more nightmare!!  Let it go!  Carefully consider what is serving you and be honest with yourself.  Step into the new world or new earth with your heart open and your mind quiet.  The only way to hear Great Spirit’s guidance is to quiet the mind and listen with your heart.  The first time I heard this I said, “What?”  That seemed absurd to me, but after some introspection and research I discovered how to do this.  WOW, what an awakening!  With this final wave of consciousness this will be so much easier than in the past.  Try the meditation at the bottom of the page.

A few suggestions to make the shift easier, stop using fluoride toothpaste, stop drinking soda and esp. the diet ones (artificial sweeteners block your mental function), stop using white processed foods (like sugar, flour, etc.), and move your body (be active).  The only way to know if this works is to experiment.  Use whole wheat, natural sugar, and grains for a whole week and see how you feel.  The same goes for the other items to remove.  Try it for at least a week, up to a month and notice how you are feeling.  Write a diary if you like.  I did this and was amazed at the difference it makes.  I also did a colon cleanse and fasting which is a great way to get started.  Once the toxins are removed from the system it is much easier to introduce new foods.  Remember like attracts like, so the more you eat these natural foods the easier it gets. 

Getting back to consciousness I will close here with a recap.  Firstly consciousness is a thought energy that embodies a level of awareness.  The Arabic describe it as layers of veil.  As each veil is removed the individual is that much closer to the mind of God.  I will add that it is like an onion, as the skins are removed your consciousness is that much closer to the Prime Creator.  When you get to the center, you discover nothing.  There is no central core to an onion, just as you cannot see the Prime Creator.  The connection is through your feelings, and thus the importance of listening with your heart!  The mind is a tool for connecting you to this world and it is perfect for that, but if you wish to connect to consciousness itself or Prime Creator/God then open your heart and feel.

Let go of what no longer serves you and look closely here.  Embrace the new earth by changing your diet and being aware of your awareness!  Seek higher awareness, and your dreams come alive!  For me this is about living from my soul or soulful living! 

 😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

Ps. Try imagining that you are whatever you see.  See life from the perspective of a beetle, tree, flower, table, Moammar Gadhafi, Jesus, your Mom, Barack Obama, a cat, etc… this is the perspective of GOD, I am that, I am…

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Gender Transition

What is the purpose of gender transition?  A feeling of dysphoria is controlling your life, you feel uncomfortable in your body and out of place in your gender role.  You feel compelled to live your life in the opposite gender and to do so fully, gender transition is necessary.  There is a question of degree also.  Do you feel like the other gender all the time or only occasionally?  Will you be happy crossdressing and being in those gender roles part time?  Not such an easy question to answer for many. 

From my experience it is an evolution that begins early in your life when you first realize that you feel feminine more than masculine and have a male body, or vice versa.  Like I said there are degrees and social constructs for you to step into.  Will you be happy as a feminine man or masculine woman?  What clothing are you most comfortable wearing, men’s or women’s or maybe both or even a mixture?  Which gender role feels right?

Gender Identity is an internal function of your brain that is hardwired from birth and your journey here on earth is to discover who you are!  Regardless of the physical body you were given at birth, this is about being harmonious in your body as the person you are naturally.  Think about this for a minute, “Naturally“.  What feels natural to you?  What feels like second nature or instinctual for you?  Forget that you have a body at all.  Close your eyes and feel the Truth. 

The gender transition journey involves living in harmony as who you are naturally.  The mirror will often betray your self-image, so do not get distracted by what you see.  The goal is to feel comfortable and happy with who you are being.  If you can love the person in the mirror then you are doing great!  As this is the ultimate goal.  Transition is not about conforming to society’s expectations.  Or what you perceive as society’s expectations.  In fact this may be about your misconception of society’s expectations!

What are expectations and where do they come from?  Expectations are behavior patterns that you accept as given per the circumstances.  They come from your own mind and were passed on by those who raised you.  You could say that they are learned, but I think it is more systemic than that.  We are each like a cog in a clock, we fit in and do our part in the larger functioning of the clock.  It could be argued that certain parts are not necessary, but that is a limited view.  I prefer to say that each part is necessary or it would not be here, we just do not know the function or understand its purpose.  Transgender often falls in this category.

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The Transgender Journey

The transgender journey is a personal experience.  Even though this is true, this journey has certain patterns or characteristics.  Let’s look at some of the things that are similar with all transgender individuals. 

First of all, we have all realized at some level when we were very young that our bodies somehow seemed “not right”.  Whether we actually understood that our brains are one gender and our physical bodies are another is different for each person. 

There comes a time when we need to experiment with crossdressing, this may last a lifetime or it may be very brief depending on the amount of guilt associated with this action.  I remember my first time crossdressing only lasted a few minutes.  I could feel this was right for me, that I am a woman but the fear and guilt almost killed me! 

Going public with your “secret” is another phase of the journey.  Once again this phase is characterized by fear; it grips you like no horror movie ever could.  Hours are spent getting ready and you go out late at night to lessen the likely hood that you will be seen by someone you know, or that you will be discovered.  Passing is everything!  Once this has been done successfully, and excitement is felt and we get braver and braver. 

Not all transgender realize that there are other transgender people so when they realize this meeting them becomes a high priority.  It is a like attracting like, or Law of Attraction thing.  This phase can occur before or after the coming out phase and will often motivate the individual to come out at least to their friends. 

Coming out takes on all sorts of appearances, so it is hard to explain, the one thing that this phase encompasses is relief.  Once the fear of your secret has been released, life gets much easier!  The coming out usually starts with those closest to the individual and fans out from there.  The relief can be so exciting that the individual comes out to everyone they know in one big blast.  The results of which can be a mixed bag and depend on where the individual is on the journey.  If they have done the inner work to make it all OK within them, then those in their life will be OK with it.  If the guilt still rules their life then, well it can get ugly. 

Once the transgender individual begins the life experience of living full time as the opposite sex, appropriate gender for them, life often takes major turns.  Some loose it all, including jobs, relationships, pushing to the edge of losing their very life.  Others are able to transition on the job, maintain their relationships and thrive!  Once again it comes down to how mature the individual is and if they prepared for the changes.  With proper preparation the journey is deeply Joyous and rewarding. 

The next phase is one of empowerment were advocacy work becomes important.  Helping others is almost a right of passage.  We all do it to some degree.  Some will do it the rest of their lives, although most reach a point where they are happy with their bodies and wish to live an average life.  They have other concerns. 

Some have surgery and some do not, but the point comes when you are just living your new life and all is well just as it is.   The surgery is a high priority to some and to others it is not,  I would say all transgender individuals consider it at some point.  There are health concerns, cost and personal reasons to consider, not to mention sexual orientation.  The surgery can occur at any point after the crossdressing stage, although the later, the better in my opinion.  I say this because this journey is intense and can be very demanding.  The individual’s maturity and inner healing is best done in advance, because surgery is not a cure, but just a part of the process.  Yes, it does help to live the life of the chosen gender, but it is not required.  Sex is a very personal thing and I will say that for the transsexual or transgender individual that intimacy can be a challenge, it has been for me.  I expect surgery to help, but it may in fact make sex less enjoyable.  This is why getting to know yourself is so important.  How do you desire to experience intimacy?  I am a “have your cake and eat it too kinda girl.  😉

Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity   NEW eBook on Sex and Sexuality available now

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The Law of Polarity

This 4th Universal Law is one that we face every day and when we understand this Law and how to transmute it so many doors open that lead to Joy, Peace and Love.  On the transition journey seeing the polarity, knowing that they are two parts of a whole and embracing both parts leads us to freedom.

“The Law of Polarity: “Everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree”. The first of the mutable Universal Laws tells us that there are two sides to everything. Things that appear as opposites are in fact only two extremes of the same thing. For instance heat and cold may appear to be opposites at first glance, but in truth they are simply varying degrees of the same thing. The same applies to love and hate, peace and war, positive and negative, good and evil, yes and no, light and darkness, energy and matter. You can transform your thoughts from hate to love, from fear to courage by consciously raising your vibrations. This is what in the ancient Hermetic Teachings is called the Art of Polarization.

Neutralizing the Law of Polarity: This Principle of Duality may appear to be very real in your life but it operates only in the physical and mental realms, not in the spiritual realm where All is One. As it says in the Bhagavad-Gita “God is Above the Opposites”. By always placing the all-powerful, all-knowing Great Spirit of which you are a part behind your every thought, statement and action, and by always focusing on the “good”, even when things appear to be going “bad”, then in time you will neutralize the Law of Polarity such that it ceases to operate in your life.” (Kotsos 2011)

Relating this Law to gender transition, male and female are parts of the whole and when you see this transition becomes so much easier.  Take a paper sack and turn it inside out, notice the similarities and the differences.  Now turn your paper sack into a plastic bag.  Having difficulty with that?  Paper and plastic come from different elements and are thus not the same.  We are able to transition from male to female or female to male because each is a pole of the same thing, Human.  We are not turning coal into gold here, we are turning the sack inside out. 

Focus on embracing both parts of the whole and putting them in place respective to your personal gender identity.  In essence you are showing the world who you are, not who they expect to see.  We do this by Loving all of our body, not just the part we identify with.  How can you only Love a part of God?  Or Love only a part of your Partner?  True Love and complete transition are total Love of all aspects of who you are! 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Ps. Personal footnote here, Loving all aspects of who you are does not preclude you from changing your body to better reflect your image.  In fact the act of Loving your body requires that you modify it to your vision.

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Transition Journey

So what is transition really?  Ok, so it is a change, but what does that mean?  Yes, change is the most constant force in the Universe!  By transition do we mean a flower blooming?  Or a child growing to an adult?  Maybe, however to make this as simple as we can let’s go with a definition of changing from one state of being to another.  Now let’s get more specific and look at gender identity.  The transition I speak of today is gender transition. 

In a way the transition is not about change at all, but about awareness.  Just being aware of what already is.  The core does not change.  Instead the person moves from ones state of being to another.  Like peeling the layers of an onion the transition journey reveals the deeper realization of self.  This may take a lifetime or it can be done in a few years.  The fact is that individuals are born with a gender identity that is innate.  However it is easy to be mis-lead by appearances.  Getting caught up in societies expectations is so easy with all the roles we have thrust upon us.  

Authentic gender transition is about removing the false persona, male identity for MtoF or female persona for FtoM, which is created to “fit” into the world based on societies expectations.  Removing the veil and allowing our authentic self to emerge is what the journey is all about.  Growing up takes time so transition does not happen overnight, however transition does happen a lot faster than the first time around, unless you are one of the lucky ones who have not allowed the veil to be drawn.  When you start young the false persona is not created, but you still must be aware of your authentic self and make sure this is who you are expressing.  More and more kids are being allowed to transition now days which is a revolution of awakening in this authors opinion. 

Transition is a natural process that really needs no assistance other than deep awareness.  Are you aware of how you feel?  What makes you happy?  Have you walked down that road and deeply enjoyed the journey?  If you are male transitioning to female then dress up and see how it feels.  Know as much as you can about the journey. It is sort of like planning a trip from New York to Shangri-La. In order to get to Shangri-La one must leave New York.  

If you need a tour guide then by all means, please get help.  Discovering the aspects of you that are false can be a long road and not an obvious one.  The most important aspect of the transition journey is to be authentic and natural.  Authenticity involves following your bliss, and doing that which brings Joy to your heart.  Let go of any desire to play a role or attempt to fit other people’s expectations.  It is not about being black or white (male or female), but about showing your true colors!

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Possible Challenges

The most difficult aspect of transition is probably going to be different for each person, however I will attempt to make a few generalizations here so that you will be aware of possible challenges along the road.   If you have an insight into possible challenges in transition feel free to comment below. 

The transition from one sex to the other can be a very emotional one fraught with trials and tribulations. Or it can be a simple process of shifting the physical body to better represent the inner gender identity.  It is important to realize here that gender is fixed in your brain before you are born.  The physical sex appears to be fixed but in fact can be altered to match the gender identity fairly easily. 

What happens to most transgender individuals is that they are conditioned by society to conform to the role determined by the organs between their legs.  Sex organs are for two purposes, procreation and enjoyment.  It is no accident that procreation is fun.  This assures the perpetuation of the species.  Whoopee 😉  The mental aspects of sexual attraction and role play are complex.  Sexual orientation like gender identity is fixed at birth, so it is the melding of society’s views with personal views that make this complex. 

The transition journey is one of releasing society’s views and living an authentic life which is true to your inner feelings and identity.  This begins with acceptance of both yourself and others.  If someone no longer wishes to be your friend then allow them that space and focus on accepting your natural self. 

In order to replace a glass of orange juice with apple juice you must first empty out all the orange juice.  This process creates a void which is to be filled by the apple juice.  The space is filled at all times, so as one leaves another fills the void.  Transition is much like this.  For a Male to Female transition as the male persona is released this creates a void for the natural persona to fill in.  Substituting another false persona, say of a certain female role is no better than the false male persona.  The point is to allow the natural persona to develop as it would have if the body parts had matched from birth. 

The best advice for allowing this process freedom to evolve is to let go and release any judgment.  Stop trying to please others and simply go with the flow.  Pay close attention to what brings you Joy.  This is best described as a feeling of contentment and gentle peace within your body, centered in your heart. 

For those with an overactive mind, release is a process of patience and persistence.  Make all thoughts OK while relaxing and focusing in the general moment.  If specific thoughts creep in and they likely will, consciously release them.  Say to yourself, “I release any thoughts of how my life should be.  I am open to my inner most gifts and allow them to express naturally.” 

I wish you Peace and Joy on your journey of Love.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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