transition | Oneness Ministry | Page 11

What Next?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Having decided that you are indeed transgender, what next? For those who do not know, it is not always easy to accept that you are different than most people. I mean we grow up knowing who we are and relating to the world through our eyes but we do not know what a woman is supposed to feel like or how a man is supposed to feel. We have no frame of reference as a child.

Gender is something that only the individual can decide or more accurately discover! I am speaking of gender identity which has little to do with sexual orientation. That will be an entirely different blog. Our physical sex does not determine our gender identity and I have a great article explaining all that here on my website.

There is an innate feeling of misalignment for the transgender person, however so many of us want to fit in believing that this determines our love. We often think that acceptance comes from people around us like our parents and siblings. I am here to tell you that it does not. Acceptance comes from within our own minds and hearts after we have come to terms with our true nature. While transgender may be a variation of natural selection it is not wrong, bad, a disorder or a disease. It is simply who you are!

Once you have discovered who you are, and transgender individuals often have a sense of this at an early age, the journey becomes accepting yourself; loving the differences while noticing the similarities also, because acceptance is loving the whole package. Honor the feelings you have inside by allowing them to express. Look deep inside and embrace your findings with courage. If you need help along the way ask! This inner journey is something that everyone must do in order to grow and to expand their understanding of who they are.

If you are someone who loves a transgender person then I salute your choice and your bravery. Love is not about right or wrong it is about discovery of the deeper self. It is a two way journey and a blessing for everyone participating. Love is unconditional and it often chooses us, by this I mean we fall into it quite unknowingly. Once there it can be a wonderful and magical experience when embraced. The unknown can be scary so let me assure you that nothing but good comes from Love. To be continued….

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Growth Can Be Violent

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition is all about growth and this growth comes at a price, so it is important to know how this growth works. During transition it can appear there’s no growth and that all is falling apart. When you get to this point all is well because you are leaping to the next level!

The way growth or evolution happens is that life gets ever more complicated and stressful to a point where you can no longer stand it and you POP or breakdown. This breakdown is the no man’s land between levels of growth and while it may be scary it is not a bad thing, and in fact it is a very good thing! After the breakdown our minds re-order in such a fashion as you can now handle the increased stress and complexity and it may appear that you have stepped back, but you have not. Your perception has moved forward. (This is sort of like when your computer locks up and you have to re-boot.)

Resistance is futile! Cro-Magnon man resisted this change and therefore perished. It was not because Cro-Magnon man did anything wrong though, it was destiny with the evolution of Homo-sapiens. Consciousness took the most expanded path, Cro-Magnon collapsed and Homo-sapiens took over as a more evolved species. I believe we are going through similar changes now, and will continue going through for years to come. The leap will occur in 2012.

The computer is a good example of this growth or evolutional phenomenon. When we first get our computer it runs really fast and can do so many things, WOW. We are impressed with all the capabilities and then after about a year or two the computer seems to be running slower and doing less, but it has not changed, YOU have. What do you do to remedy the situation? Either you must not change or you must get a computer that can keep up with your mind, because your mind has expanded beyond the level of the computer’s abilities. You can think of your computer as an extension of your mind and use it to grow.

This is why we need to update our software so frequently and get new hardware every few years, we are growing at a phenomenal rate right now and this rate will be increasing too! I have already noticed changes in my perception and an expansion of my abilities. Just knowing this has made my transition so much easier. When I hit a wall now, I just laugh and say great I am ready for a Leap! We will be making many leaps in the time to come, so hold on for the ride.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Spirituality Transitions

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Affirmative Thought

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The use of positive affirmations to manifest your desires is somewhat like praying but with a big difference. When you pray to God or anything else you put your power outside yourself and out of your control. God is not outside you but in, through and one with you. God is not separate!

This little detail makes a world of difference in the results you experience. When God is no longer outside you, there is no authority to judge you and send you to Hell or any other bad thing. This has always been true but possibly not always your experience. The ego mind is creating those “bad” things in order to prove itself right, “see you can die, we are separate” would be the ego thought pattern. Or “I am a bad person for being different – I am freak.” This is all illusion made up by your ego mind.

Knowing the Truth will set you free! The Truth is that you are a blessed child of God/Goddess/Universal Mind. The way you can use this truth for your betterment and the betterment of the world is to affirm this Truth. Affirmations are a great way to shift your thinking to the positive and create habits of seeing the good in everything.

There are a couple of ways of using affirmations, but the simplest is to just notice the positive truth. “I am a beautiful woman/man/person” stated over and over seeds itself into your conscious mind, then filters down to the unconscious mind where it is manifest. You see if these thoughts are not in your unconscious mind then they are not manifest. You can say “I am a millionaire” for years and years, but if you do not believe it to the point of it being an unconscious truth then you will not experience it, even though it is true.

The next way to say an affirmation is to reason with yourself like this:

“I know there is one infinite loving universal intelligence and it is all there is.

Since it is all there is I must be a part of that oneness, which makes me perfect, whole and complete.

My abundance is constant and ever flowing as is my wisdom and vibrant health. Peace and loving relationships come easy for me as they are the natural flow of life. I am expressing divine feminine in all that I do, while still honoring the masculinity from which I spring. Creative self-expression is one way in which I enrich the world around me. My understanding is that all which comes my way is here to deepen my appreciation and enjoyment of the world, so I step forward each day with Love and hopeful anticipation. I am Woman, Perfect, Whole and Complete!”

This statement can be left this way as a good affirmation or extended into a complete prayer by adding the following:

Anything that appears to be contrary to this is false and I allow it to fall away naturally. I go with the flow….

Because the greater truth about me is that I am woman – sexy, loving, vibrant, accepting and understanding, I rest in gratitude. When I speak my feminine voice is heard!

For this awesome truth I give thanks in this knowing.

I now release these words that they may resonate through the cosmos and do their good and effective work!

And so it is. (Amen)

Be creative and edit this prayer to your Truth, make it yours. Remember that the more often an affirmation is said the more seeds are planted in the conscious mind. Feel the truth of it. Feel the Joy! All else is let go.

One more method of using affirmations is to surround yourself in these statements, pasting them on the computer, on the walls, on the calendar, on the dashboard of your car, on the mirror, on the fridge, etc. Say things that you wish to experience more of; statements that are in line with your desires. For instance, I love you, I am abundantly wealthy, I can easily afford a new car, I am happy being me, Learning is fun and easy. Don’t worry about what appears to be true or not true, only about what you desire. I think you get the idea, so have fun with this.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Spirituality Transitions

Physical Energy

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Part two of this series on creative methods of coping with transition. Do you love to exercise? Well, even if you don’t the very act of being physically active will boost your energy and help to release any anxiety you may have. Remember that an object in motion tends to stay in motion, so the more active you are the more energy you will have. Of course it helps to enjoy yourself while you are exercising.

Joy compounds the benefits tremendously, so find an activity that you enjoy. The options are almost endless, so be creative and experiment some. Personally I enjoy walking about as much as anything, bicycle riding used to be a favorite as did swimming. I find as I am aging that walking works the best for me in the most environments. The environment in which you do your activity will make a difference also, so choose a place that you like and are comfortable in. Even if you are in the city there are places to walk like parks , malls, gyms or the neighborhood. If you live on a farm you are most likely getting plenty of exercise doing the daily chores, but if not get out and have some fun! Gardening is a great way to boost your energy also.

Both the physical activity and being with the beauty of nature combine to really boost our energy! For those who are not aware of how the human body works, it can get pretty complex so let’s just keep it simple. As we move, our bodies use oxygen to fuel the cell functions in our various organs. The more we move, the more we burn energy and the more oxygen is needed, so the heart and lungs are working harder and harder. The lungs bring in the air and oxygen is diffused into the blood which is pumped by the heart to the organs of the body. With practice the body gets used to this activity and is able to handle more and more activity to a point that is only determined by the mind.

This is evident in the fact that athletes are constantly breaking speed, endurance and skill records! We are expanding our limits and broadening our beliefs. The other thing that is happening at a physical level is the brain is releasing chemicals such as endorphins that regulate our perception of pain or discomfort. These chemicals are very beneficial to our overall health and can be released in other ways as well, such as sexual pleasure and meditation. There are many good books out on the mind body connection so if you are interested in this just visit the library or surf the net.

No discussion of physical energy creation would be complete without the inclusion of Tantra. Tantra’s come in many powerful forms of ritual action but one of the more popular would be sexual tantra such as the Kama Sutra. When two people come together in sexual passion an incredible amount of energy is released. Once this is experienced though it can be addictive if a person does not know the source of the energy, so do not take this path lightly. Joy is the goal, a feeling of oneness with all there is, so focus on that and know that we are conduits to this energy. Our purpose is to feel, or experience with all our senses and be aware of Source! We can use such experiences as Tantric Sex as a marker or guide to what it feels like to be one with all there is. As we focus on the feeling during meditation we are guided to the Joy of Spirit. As we revisit that feeling it is possible to orgasm simply by imagining it! Some say that Heaven feels like one big long Orgasm. I think I am ready….

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Spirituality Transitions

Art in Transition

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Creativity is a great tool for coping with transition. In this two part series about creative methods of coping with transition I will cover art, appreciation, music, exercise and other physical activities. Any activity you Love will boost your energy. The important thing is that you are doing things you love to do on your own free will. As far as activities go, being creative is always an energy booster. Creativity does not come from us but through us, so as Great Spirit flows through us it creates magnificent things and in the process lifts the energy level of both ourselves and others. The list of ways to be creative is extensive!

“The world is but a canvas to the imagination.” Henry David Thoreau

Art is a wonderful way to be creative. Ever since mankind began to draw on cave walls art has been an important method of raising our spirits. As we evolve, our methods of creating have evolved and we have come a long way in 40 thousand years!

Art includes everything from painting and sculpture to music and theatre. Even crafts or cooking would be considered art by many. Remember it is the creative energy that flows through us that is important. It is up to each of us just how we use art and if we for some reason believe that we are not artists the simple act of appreciation raises the energy of both the artist and the observer.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that without appreciation art is just a thing, so the more people who can appreciate the artistic creation, the more energy that is created. Thus is the reason for Art galleries, shows, and displays. When we put art in our home and we enjoy it on a daily basis the effects can be very profound. Love is a key ingredient to any creation.

As we are creating and loving our creation the energy of Love is released. For example, an artist paints a beautiful scenic watercolor and as she does this she is imaging this beauty surrounding her and she puts that feeling into her work. When she is done and satisfied with the results she shares the painting with others either by selling it or giving it as a gift. Then each person that views the painting experiences the beauty and elated feeling the artist felt, thus adding to the energy. The more people who enjoy this experience the greater the energy created, or the brighter the shine so to speak. This all goes for whatever form of art you enjoy.

Music lifts the spirits almost every time and that is why you hear music so much in public places, especially retail places. Of course we go to concerts, live theatre, and parties for the same reason. They help us feel better! These events are literally raising our energy through our participation in the flow of life or put another way, the give and receive of life. I guess we could just call it the cycle of life and appreciate life on a grander scale. We must remember that what we put out we get back, so the energy we put into our creations and our participation will determine to a large extent the experience our art produces!

Now nothing is set in stone and if another person loves your art, while you feel it is awful then their energy will increase the energy proportional to their appreciation, i.e. love for the art piece. Life is a group effort and a wonderful way to raise the energy of the world is to appreciate all that you see. The very word “appreciate” means to raise in value. How simple it is to appreciate all that you see around you! This is done by honoring the effort and vision that went into creating anything and everything. The saying “credit where credit is due” makes a lot of sense, so remember that we are one and what “another” created comes from the same place you do! The choice to create is a choice to live!

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Spirituality Transitions

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Dream a Little Dream

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transitions are always a part of our lives, it just depends on which one takes front stage at the time. Many of us are transitioning jobs, homes and families these days and the reasons for this are many and complex, however on the larger scale I would say the whole world is transitioning!

As is predicted with the 2012, Age of Aquarius, we are going through a time of great change which is touching each of us deeply. This opportunity to experience something that only happens every 25,000 years is quite remarkable. I am not sure you grasp the significance of this, and I am not sure I do completely. What I do know is that life is changing and will never be the same again.

Stay awake and aware of your role in this process. Know that your choices do matter, literally. Have you noticed that it is easier to manifest your desires? That your wishes are coming true faster and with greater accuracy? As the days go by to the quickly approaching Age of Aquarius the possibilities will turn into probabilities and the probabilities will turn into certainty. Now is the time to become a believer if you were not before. Hold on to your dreams now more than ever!

I cannot stress how important it is that you stay focused on your dreams and that you think about what works for you. What do you really want? Notice how you feel after you get it. It is human nature to yearn for something better, more or greater. So let’s put our sights on perfection. This is where many of us loose our way. Life already is perfect for this moment, and each moment is expanding, so it is the nature of the Universe to grow, improve, expand, gain complexity, be perfect in that moment. Your life cannot help but improve!

Your thoughts are directing the flow, so are you staying positive? Focusing on your desires, wants and needs? Or are you getting side tracked with saving the world or building an empire? It is important to set your priorities in this time of drastic and quickened change. Think not only of yourself but what is best for everyone on earth. As you wish for yourself, so will others experiences be. We are all in this together!

A personal observation has been that what I desire I see other people experiencing. For instance, I buy a lottery ticket and I pick up the newspaper to read an article about a homeless man who won the jackpot. Or I say a prayer that I get a new car and a friend is talking about her new car she just got. It is all in divine order! We truly are One, so you see why it is important to be positive and dream wonderful dreams for all the world. We are all in this together, and it is not about you, but about them!

Spirituality Transitions

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Guilty by Association

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Our thoughts are more powerful than we know and one of the principles which can assist us on our transition is “guilt by association”. When you are aware of this principle you can use it to your advantage instead of suffering its consequences.

This principle works by proximity, be it thought or physical location. Whomever or whatever we associate with we become like. The reason for this is we learn from our surroundings and the behavior of those we spend time with. This learning is unintentional most of the time, however when used constructively it can be very powerful. The concept of apprenticeship works this way. When we wish to learn something new the best way is to find a teacher who can show you the “ropes”.

For instance, a person transitioning from male to female will benefit from being around other MtoF transsexuals and other women. You may have heard the expression, “hanging out with persons of like mind”, which is precisely what we are discussing here. This concept can be used in a variety of ways.

For those who desire to start their own business, finding others who are in that business to associate with will make their likelihood of success so much greater. Or if you are quitting smoking then you will want to stay away from other smokers and places that are associated with smoking like the bar or buddies who smoke.

You may remember stories of gangs like “West Side Story” or “Boyz in da Hood” and if you hang out with a particular group then you are guilty by association! Be careful the groups you hang out with and make sure you wish to be like them. This goes in every situation whether it is on the playground, at church or at work. I suggest hanging with people you want to be like, so if you desire to be successful then hang with successful people. If you like art then hang out with artists, take classes in art, collect art, go to art parties. This process should be fun when you are using it consciously.

To close my discussion of this principle I will make a gentle warning. If you associate with people who like to “raise a ruckus” like activists for example, then do not be surprised if you get more attention than you like. Things can quickly go from fun to being arrested for disturbing the peace or worse. If you see things going too far it is up to you to decide it is enough and put a stop to it. The best method is to simply leave. Just be aware of who you are and who you are hanging out with and ask yourself, is this who I am?

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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The Art of Observation

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The art of observation is our best tool in transition. Children and babies use this technique and so should we. So what do I mean “the art of observation”? It is really very simple and it goes like this. Of course we must know what our desired result is to start with. It is like writing a good book, you start with the ending!

Let’s use the example of male to female transition. I know I am a woman in a male body, so I hold a vision of the woman I feel myself to be. I may even get a picture and keep it with me. I share my vision with others who are supportive. I desire to express myself more appropriately as the woman I am, however since I have a male body I have learned how to be a man not a woman. By using the art of observation I simply observe women in action, walking, talking, getting angry, laughing, smiling, working, dressing, shopping etc. It is good to choose a woman who you would like to be like, a role model. Most of us use our mothers since we see them every day and this is precisely what I did. I have always known I was like mom so she is the one I learned from just as any daughter would do, even though she thought I was her son.

She taught me to coordinate colors and styles, how to cook, how to clean, and all the usual housekeeping tasks because she wanted me to be self sufficient. What she did not realize is that she taught me how to act like a lady in public, how to walk like a lady, hand & body gestures, ways of styling my hair, going to the salon every 2-3 wks, and the list goes on. You get the idea now, that we watch our role models every move and copy it! The result will be as good as our choice in role models. We will obviously have our own personality, likes and dislikes, however even most of these are learned from our parents and family or the people we are around the most. If you were raised by your grandmother then she will be who you learn from.

If there are traits you do not like, then you can pick and choose just as you would in a buffet line! You may decide that you wish to be like Lady Gaga or Madonna, it really does not matter. Just be observative and in the end you will create the person of your dreams. The secret to it all is being aware enough to make the observations consciously so that you can incorporate them into your behavior. Be very attuned to detail and notice the small things. Life is full of nuance and that is the beauty of it all. For more on awareness check out this article on Unity in Gender Diversity.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Is It Time?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

How do I know I am ready to transition? What do you think about when you wake up in the morning? What are you thinking about when you go to bed? Are you thinking about it all through the day? In this case you probably already have started your transition. I of course am speaking of transitioning from male to female or female to male in order to express ones gender identity.

Many people who are not transgender ask the question, why do you need to transition at all? To many TG’s the answer is obvious but let me just clarify. Being transgender is living a lie unless we can express ourselves as who we truly are. We need to transition as much as anyone needs to be understood and loved! If you can imagine going through life without love, never being understood, not being able to express your ideas, and not being able to live your visions and dreams, then you know what it is like to not transition.

There is an energy expressing in us, through us, as us and to withhold that energy is impossible. It must be released or the person dies, or harms another. It really is very simple, are you being the person of your dreams? If not, then why? Are you fulfilling your destiny? If you are truly a transgender person and you are living your birth sex then no you are not fulfilling your destiny.

This is not something that pops up at the age of 35 or 40 all of sudden. This is something that has been with you since birth and you have been denying it. If you have no memory of having gender doubt or feelings of not being in the right body then you are not transgender. And I mean constantly for years and not just a few times.

The important thing is to live your life authentically and be true to who you are inside. In order to do this you must be honest with yourself. And you must get to know yourself. Some of us are so busy living stereotypes and expectations of others we don’t even know who we are. Being alone is very important for this and I would suggest taking a camping trip or weekend in a remote place with no electronics. Simply be with yourself, feel your feelings, write your thoughts down, find things that you enjoy. How are you creative? What are your best features? What would you like to share about yourself with the world?

Once you figure out who you are, then share that with those closest to you. Find those who are supportive and be willing to let go of those who are not, and this sometimes means letting go of those closest to you, parents, children, spouses, family. You deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are! Please do not hide from the world. You are loved and our purpose here is to share that love. Being Transgender is a gift, just like being a genius or a natural athlete. If all the above describes you then maybe it is time to transition.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

Self Talk

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Your greatest tool and worst bandit. In a way this Blog is self talk, lol. What are you saying to your self? The voice within our head is what I call your ego voice or man’s voice. This is the voice which is easy to hear and does not want to shut up!

Whether you listen to this voice is up to you. And by listen I mean act on the advice the ego doles out. When I act on this voice and sometimes I do, it is with as much awareness as I can muster. By shining the light of awareness on ego actions we can nullify the negative effects much the same as done when we forgive our transgressors. It is like shining a light into a dark room without placing judgment on what we see.

With conscious effort you can guide your self-talk to take you where you wish to be instead of being at ego’s whim. If the ego is telling you something you would prefer not to hear then choose something else. Many of us do this by listening to music or watching TV. The other ways are by creating something, making dinner, painting, playing games, and anything that occupies the mind.

Some people slip into the negative realm when they attempt to escape this ego voice by outside means such as alcohol, tobacco, marijuana, and harder drugs. Any activity that is destructive is considered the negative realm and while it is not bad, (nothing is bad or good lest you say it so) it does lead down a long dead end street. There are many twists and turns down this road and it is easy to get lost.

Finding your way back can be done with help and on a rare occasion it can be done alone. From my earlier teachings, what you focus on grows. This means that the further you venture down that destructive road the longer the trip home is. Self talk is one of those things that will lead you down that road if you are not consciously aware.

What I am suggesting here is to use that same self talk as a tool to bring yourself home. By focusing on the positive and constructive our lives are transformed. Complement yourself constantly and speak favorably of your self as often as you can. Do this even with others, just be careful not to boast (boasting is negative and makes you feel bad afterward). Look in the mirror and tell that lovely person that you love them. I love You. Focus on what you enjoy. Find things to do that are fun! Sometimes we must do things that are not so much fun, and that is ok, still tell yourself that it is only temporary and that you can handle anything. Life is going to throw us curve balls and it is up to us whether we re-act from fear or act from love.

Make a list of all your best features and traits, make a list of what you enjoy doing, and remember to focus on the positive. If sometimes you slip then restate in the positive and go right on with your life. Forgive, forget and stay positive!

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Spirituality Transitions

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The Essence of Transition

by Sequoia Elisabeth

So what is transition really? Ok, so it is a change, but what does that mean? Change is the most constant force in the Universe! By transition do we mean a flower blooming? Or a child growing to an adult? Not really, although those can be thought of as transitions. Let’s go deeper and be a bit more specific. The transition I am speaking of today is gender.

In one way the transition is not about change at all, but about awareness. Just being aware of what already is. Our core person does not change; it is who we are. Like peeling the layers of an onion the transition journey is about looking deeper within and throwing away the false self. We have many false identities not just one. Getting caught up in this outer world is so easy with all the roles we have thrust upon us.

“Real” gender transition is about removing the false persona, or male identity (for MtoF) which we created to “fit” into the world based on the existing rules. Removing the veil and allowing our authentic self to emerge is what the journey is all about. Growing up takes time so transition does not happen overnight, however it does happen a lot faster than the first time around, unless you are one of the lucky ones who have not allowed the veil to be drawn. When we start young the false persona is not created, but we still must be aware of our authentic self and make sure that is who we are expressing.

Transition is a natural process that really needs no assistance other than deep awareness. Are you aware of how you feel? What makes you happy? Have you walked down that road and deeply enjoyed the journey? If you are male transitioning to female then dress up and see how it feels. Know as much as you can what you are getting into (or vice versa guys). Letting go of your male persona is like trying to escape a swarm of mosquitoes! It can drive you insane!

Sometimes guidance is necessary along the way, so please get help if you can. Discovering the aspects of you that are false can be a long road and not an obvious one. The most important aspect of the transition journey is to be authentic and natural. Authenticity involves following your bliss, and doing that which brings Joy to your heart. Let go of any desire to play a role or attempt to fit other people’s expectations. It is not about being black or white (male or female), but about showing your true colors!

Blessings on your journey of Love 🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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Sexual Attraction

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Sexual orientation is sometimes confused with gender identity, so I would just like to make it clear that they are different aspects of every human. It could be that they are aspects for dolphins and apes too, however since I don’t speak those languages I really have no way of knowing.

The big difference with Sexual orientation (SO) is who we are attracted to and gender identity (GI) is who we feel ourselves to be. Neither is determined by anyone but yourself, so do not let anyone, doctor, parent, partner or friend tell you your S.O. or G.I. It is up to you to tell whomever you are comfortable telling and only when you are ready. Attraction is an innate function of our being that we do not have to do anything to have, however sometimes knowing what it is can be confusing, especially for young adults.

Friendship attraction is different than sexual attraction and I believe many people confuse them. I make this statement based on internet sites like yahoo.answers.com. So many young folks are asking if they are gay or lesbian because they are attracted to a person of the same sex. As a transsexual woman I can relate to this more than you know. There are so many beautiful people in the world, it is hard not to be attracted to them. During the young years when our libido is revving up this is especially so.

Knowing the difference can be a level of degree. Meeting someone and having a good feeling inside, but not necessarily intense feelings is the first stage of attraction. This is common and can be felt with every person you meet. Finding a person visually attractive, pleasantly smelling, and fun to be around is the second degree which I will call friendship attraction. Sexual attraction is the overwhelming desire to touch another person, either with your hands, by a kiss, through sexual intercourse or a combination of all the above! It is important to understand that this attraction is unmistakable, and if you doubt your feelings then they probably fall into the friendship level of attraction.

My new book will be going into more detail about attraction, love, sex and sexuality, so keep an eye open for that. I realize that this is an over simplification of the levels involved. Attraction, like gender can be put on a spectrum scale where one end has repulsion, and range all the way to obsession. The points of this blog are not to place judgment on where you fall on this scale and instead give yourself permission to love whomever you choose. Love is the way.

Along with Loving whomever you choose comes responsibility and with that levels of maturity. Love is a two way street so if “the apple of your eye” is not responding, then what you are feeling is ego love or manmade love. True love is of Great Spirit or God and when you feel this it is returned to you 10 fold. This is how you will know when it is true Love. One of the roughest transitions we go through is maturing enough to know true love when you experience it. There is no limit to whom or how many times you can have this experience. Joy is the key and is felt within your heart.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Spirituality Transitions

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When did it all begin?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

When does transition begin? Does it have a beginning? Or an end? Transition is a process of change, so it never really has a beginning or an end, because change is on-going. Ever since the big bang the universe has been expanding and changing! There is no end.

On a more personal level, your transition began the day you were conceived! What we experience and often think of as a “transition” are cycles or phases of change. These occur at many levels and often at the same time. Our bodies are growing all the time no matter how old you are. Even at the age of 100 your body is growing new cells to replace old ones and this continues till the old ones far outweigh the new ones, then that body dies and the cycle begins again, in a new lifetime. This is all going on while we experience emotional changes, mental changes, and spiritual changes. Transition is multi-dimensional.

For those of us on a gender transition journey, the word “transition” holds unique meaning. For most of us this journey begins when we start on hormones, however I will state that the first stage or cycle is questioning. On my website I have an eleven step transitioning guide that outlines the steps as I see them based on my research and experiences. There could be more or less steps; however, each phase is a transition in itself. Take the hormones for instance; this phase or transition cycle has a specific start and significant steps along the path. For those who have the surgery, the post op regimen will differ greatly from the pre-op cycle and the end is not the same for everyone. Some post op transwomen take hormones the rest of their lives and others will stop taking hormones once they reach a certain age.

The cycles have certain similarities between people, but each person will have specific differences in their transition cycles or phases. Our experiences define us to an extent, but they are not who we are. Life is made up of one experience after another like the layers of an onion, only far more complex. So when does transition begin? It depends on which one you are speaking of and who you are asking! Blessings on your journey of Love 🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Self Murder

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The Oneness perspective of suicide is when you kill yourself you are committing murder! “Though salt not kill” is one of the Ten Commandments and this applies to you too. From the perspective of oneness, we are all part of the one mind so what we choose to do will have ramifications for everyone on the planet and beyond.

Everyone you meet is your mirror, so what you do to them is the same as doing it to yourself. If you were to shoot someone dead, then in effect or metaphorically speaking you have just killed yourself. This works in reverse as well. If you were to shoot yourself dead, then you have just killed your neighbor.

Love works this way too, so if you love yourself in effect you are loving the world. If you love another person it is a way of loving “The One”, yourself. This concept is so powerful and once embraced will change your life forever!

Oneness can be and should be applied to every aspect of your life. It is what we all desire more than anything else in the world, a feeling of being connected! Most of us call this connection “Love”. So the next time you say you hate someone or something, stop for a minute and contemplate the deeper meaning of this statement. To hate anyone or anything is to hate the self, The One.

The Buddhists teach this concept very well in their belief that harming even a fly or ant on the sidewalk is harming the one. The dynamics of life are far beyond our comprehension at this point, but rest assured that everything, rock, plant, insect, animal and person is connected in a Divine fashion. Our being conscious of this connection gives us the power to change the course of life on earth!

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Suicide – Not A Choice

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition can get to be overwhelming at times which can lead a person to look for an escape. The pain gets too great and the options get too few, so what’s a person to do? Suicide thoughts creep in and suddenly thoughts of death (escape) become overwhelming. It seems so easy, a few too many pills or the slice of a knife in the right spot or one pull of a trigger.

Let me assure you there is nothing to escape from. Suicide is not the answer you seek. What I will tell you is that those feelings are stemming from isolation and fear. There are always options! In some strange way, feeling like suicide is actually an option can be comforting. Just keep it as option “Z”. I like to list my options for remedying my situation from A to Z, which gives me 26 options to choose from and reaching option “Z” is very unlikely. Just knowing that you have that many options is comforting.

Talk to someone who can relate to your situation. Share your thoughts and feelings with someone who cares. Ask for other options that maybe you cannot see. If for some reason you cannot find someone who cares, which is not unusual in this situation, talk to God, Holy Spirit, Allah, Buddha, Great Spirit, Goddess, or whichever Deity you relate to. By sharing your troubles the burden you feel is lifted.

Shifting your viewpoint will help you move beyond your feelings of hopelessness. Embrace whatever change is knocking at your door. Welcome it in and see how you can best participate in this transition. An “I can” attitude or “I can, with help” attitude will go a long way to moving you beyond the depressive state you are in. Allowing others to help you is part of the give and receive cycle that life runs on, when we withdraw from this cycle our life stops flowing and depression sets in. Getting back into the flow of giving and receiving will help to alleviate any thoughts of suicide.

When other people’s happiness becomes more important than your own the dark veil of depression will lift and the light of Joy will re-visit your life. Caring about others in a healthy balanced way every day will assure that suicide thoughts never visit you again.

Something that I realized when I was holding the barrel of a 357 in my mouth many years ago, I am being very selfish! I am not hurting myself, instead I am hurting those I Love and those who Love me. I could see them crying and I could feel the pain I would have brought into this world. I asked myself, do I want to be the problem or the cure? In that instant healing began and I put down the gun never to return to that point again.

If those thoughts of suicide return and they have, all I do is remind myself that there are people who love me and hurting them is not the kind of person I choose to be. I am alive because I have a gift to share with the world and when my time comes I will gladly go.

“Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t.”
–Richard Bach

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Support Groups

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition can be difficult for those who are facing it alone. In today’s connected world there is no reason to go it alone. No matter what your challenge, there is some kind of support available online or in your town. For those of you who live in Chicken, Alaska with a population of 10, I will suggest Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit works for anyone anywhere. For the rest of us, find a focused support group!

For those lucky enough to live in a big city the resources are likely abundant. Search the internet and find a support group near you to participate in. Yes, participation is the key. The groups I have attended have been professional and confidential. One way to check them out before hand is to call the organizers and talk to them over the phone. You can maintain your anonymity and get a feel for what to expect. Taking a family member with you or finding someone to go with is another way to ease the awkwardness of the first visit. Remember that everyone there had a first time to visit and if they can do it so can you.

Chat forums have become a sort of a support group although with some of the language I have heard, they are sometimes more adverse than going to a physical location with people you know will be on their best behavior. Still the discussion boards and blogs like this one can be a good source of support. I am happy to chat with anyone, just comment here and we can chat sometime.

I cannot stress how wonderful it is to be in a group of your peers and be able to discuss things which have been bothering you but there was no one who understood. I have grown tremendously since finding the support groups here. With a little detective work support groups can be found in most places. Try calling a professional in the phone book who specializes in your situation and asking if they know of any support groups. Network with businesses who sell whatever is associated with your challenge. For instance, stores that cater to crossdressers will know of the local support groups. Mental health facilities know about the local drug and alcohol support groups as well as treatment centers. Just start looking and you will find. Once you find, be brave and go down there and participate, you will be glad you did. 😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Community Action

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Community action is a method I see many transgender people using to cope with their situation in life. It is almost like they are called to do that work, and I am sure they are. We are each on a unique journey of which some of those journeys are closely allied.

My advice on community action is to follow your heart. Do what feels right to you, but do not do it so that you belong to a group or fit in. This is something that you do for yourself. In fact everything you do is for you! Think about that from the perspective of oneness. That person you are helping is part of the One, All That Is, they are an extension of you. From this perspective community action is self love!

In a way this is a paradox. In order to truly help yourself you must take care of others and the way you do this is to make sure your body is clean and healthy, you eat good foods and are living a happy life. Narcissistic behavior is when you think you are all there is in the world and are obsessed with yourself. Poor self worth is when you ignore your own needs and place others on a pedestal. Balance needs to be obtained and maintained.

Community has so much more value when we understand that we are all one. Planet Earth is a living organism, and each of us is like a cell in Gaia. Each and everything you experience here is a part of the whole. If you lose a few hairs it is no big deal, but lose them all and you feel it. Our skin is constantly dropping the dead cells and replacing them with new cells. This is exactly like our Planet is losing people every day and replacing them with new births! This holographic cycle is repeated throughout the Universe at every level from the microscopic to the galactic!

Take a minute to feel your connection to all that is. Know that you are a vital piece of the cosmic plan! When you go out and participate in community activities, feel the connection to the plants and animals, and to each person you meet. They are a reflection of who you are, who we all are, Divinity Expressed!

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Community of One

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Social interaction is something that all humans need to survive. We are social animals! This need can be difficult to meet when you feel like an outsider or if you feel like you do not belong. Finding your place in the world can sometimes be a life long journey, and it is worth pursuing. We all have a reason for being and finding that can be one of the most satisfying things you can do in your lifetime. If you need help with this I am happy to assist.

This journey begins within your own heart, not out in the world. Those who look outside themselves for answers, go without. Upon inner reflection and getting comfortable with yourself you can begin to explore the outer world. Just because you are going through some motions like going to school, going to work, and doing activities does not mean you are exploring. So what do I mean? I mean once you discover who you are, sharing that with the world and looking for loving acceptance. If you have found the acceptance within your heart then you will find it in the world.

I like to think of my life as a rose bud unfolding, revealing its inner beauty. So now that you have decided to share yourself with others then get out there and re-member. Join groups that interest you and give your all. Keep the groups limited to a few that you are passionate about and become passionate about them. Volunteer in the community, be active, and most importantly do this from authenticity. This means be honest with yourself about who you are and share that even if it is non-conforming. It does not mean that you try to be different, it means that you be yourself without concern that you will be accepted, because you have accepted yourself!

Once you have accepted yourself all else is gravy! If someone objects or questions who you are that is fine, because what they think of you is none of your business. Objections and resistance from the outer world is simply a sign that you have more inner work to do. Do not waste your time attempting to change them, instead go within and change your own heart. You will be amazed at the reception you get from the outer world when your inner heart is healed! 😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Let’s Review

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Coping tools for Transition are the main purpose of this blog so let’s do a review here. Transition is all about change and can include anything from moving to a new city, starting a new job or embracing a change in physical gender. There are no two transitions quite the same, so please apply these techniques to your situation.

I have talked about many things so far, but the most important tools I have discussed are the 6 senses of the mind which began Feb. 2, 2010. If you have not read these I would recommend you go to those blogs and give them a look. The mind is a powerful thing to waste!

The other tools I discuss are awareness, compassion, community, and Universal Laws. The topics I discuss include Death, 2012, time, visioning, gratitude, unity, oneness, Love, morality, relationships, the transsexual transition, post-op regret/grief, jobs, societal perception, introspection, and journeys.

Looking over this list there are a few subjects I have not covered well and will be including in the days to come. I will be talking about community, support groups, suicide, and anything that my readers suggest. Having some feedback on subjects that you are interested in is most helpful, so please write to me and let me know. If you found this blog without going to my website then please pop over and give it a look. Unity in Gender Diversity

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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What if?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What if no one had any gender at all? We would still be exactly as we are now, but gender would not be a trait. Sex would still exist. We would still love one another and have intimate relationships, just without any gender attachments. There would be no taboos or societal constructs as to moral behavior.

There would be only one rule, Do no harm. This is much like the Hippocratic oath, and since this is the only rule, easier to follow. Another way to think of this rule is “do onto others as you would have done onto you”. Yes, the Golden Rule is the only rule we need.

Each person is treated like an equal, no matter what their age, sex, gender identity, race, nationality, abilities, health, religion, behavior, or intelligence. Just imagine equality! Complete equality, but also complete diversity. No two people, animals, places or things are the same. Some are similar but none are the same. What would life be like? Is this truly what we desire? Why is this not the reality now? Or is it?

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For while knowledge defines all we currently know and understand, imagination points to all we might yet discover and create.” Albert Einstein

The process of dreaming is how our lives are created. Think back over all the dreams you have had. Now consider which ones have manifest? Did these dreams serve your highest good? This may be why they have not manifest. The dreams that are in the Highest and Best good of everyone are the ones that materialize.

“Nothing happens unless first we dream.” Carl Sanberg

I am inviting you to dream of the life you wish to be living right now. Why aren’t you living it? Consider the possibility that you are living the life of your dreams, only you have not been dreaming very big. Let go and Let God.

“Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere.” Carl Sagan

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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