Oneness Ministry

Socialization

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The holiday period between Thanksgiving and New Years is a social time of year that some people dread. Why would they dread this joyous time you ask? Social interaction is something that all humans need to survive. We are social animals! This need can be difficult to meet when you feel like an outsider or if you feel like you do not belong. Finding your place in the world can sometimes be a life long journey, and it is worth pursuing. We all have a reason for being and finding that can be one of the most satisfying things you can do in your lifetime.

This season, why not get out and meet some new people, go to a new church, attend a new group, take a class in decorating, or whatever it is that you enjoy doing. The important thing is that you are with others. Before you go out though, do some reflective work with how you feel about yourself.

The journey begins within your own heart, not out in the world. Those who look outside themselves for answers, go without. Upon inner reflection and getting comfortable with yourself you can begin to explore the outer world. Just because you are going through some motions like going to school, going to work, and doing activities does not mean you are exploring. So what do I mean? I mean for you to discover who you are and share that with the world. Once you have found the acceptance within your heart then you will find it in the world.

I like to think of my life as a rose bud unfolding, revealing its inner beauty. So now that you have decided to share yourself with others get out there and re-member. Join groups that interest you and give your all. Keep the groups limited to a few that you are passionate about and become passionate about them. Volunteer in the community, be active, and most importantly do this from authenticity. This means, be honest with yourself about who you are and share that even if it is non-conforming. It does not mean that you try to be different, it means that you be yourself without concern that you will be accepted, because you have accepted yourself!

Once you have accepted yourself all else is gravy! If someone objects or questions who you are that is fine, because what they think of you is none of your business. Objections and resistance from the outer world is simply a sign that you have more inner work to do. Do not waste your time attempting to change them, instead go within and change your own heart. You will be amazed at the reception you get from the outer world when your inner heart is healed!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Everything Is Energy

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Have you ever considered the purpose of your body? If we are energy, then why do we have a body anyway? Why not exist as balls of light or waves of sound or particles of dust? The inspiration I have received today is about the human experience and our bodies.

Yes, the body is how we experience the world. Without it we could not see, feel, taste, smell or hear. And in order for the body to work it must have fuel. The things we eat are our fuel and the body’s job is to convert one physical form (food) to another (energy for the body). Basically the body digests foods, i.e. breaks it down into parts one stage at a time and then processes or converts this to energy which our body uses to function in this world.

The human body is a sensory organ, energy converter, transportation device, and statement of the energy that makes up your being. The body is not who you are, however it is how you express who you are. How you treat your body shows your level of Love because it all comes from within the Heart center.

On this day of thanksgiving, consider the miracle of who you are! The beauty surrounds us and runs through us, as us! Let us be united in this awareness of the grand miracle, Life. Blessings to you and yours this Holiday season♥

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

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A Path To Change

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition is not only for us as humans; the entire Earth Mother is transitioning and this is connected with the Galaxy and Universe as well. The timing right now is perfect for you to step up and embrace your birth heritage. Many people have been hiding behind personas they believe serve them and for many years they have. The time has come for everyone to let go of the old paradigms of thinking, analyzing, and intellectualizing every little decision.

The time has come for everyone to live from the heart. The heart center is the home of your connection to soul. Your authentic self resides here and is asking to be heard. Many people think that wisdom is of the brain and that the most important organ of the human body is the brain. This has been the bases of life here on earth for the past 2000+ years and our Mother Earth is ready to change. We have accomplished much in the past and technology is an amazing tool. Let us use this tool to connect our hearts! As awareness grows and the shift in Mother Earth occurs we can each play our part in assisting the birth of a New Earth.

Divine Feminine energy is taking control of the situation here on earth. In order to move ahead we must each accept the responsibility to live an authentic life that stems from our Heart center. If this means living your life as a gender variant or sexually diverse being then so be it. If this means unleashing your creative side and following your dreams, now is the time. Deep within you is a well of Love and all you need do is break it open and allow it to flow. Sometimes we need help with this and I offer this quote as explanation.

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.
A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.
A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master…
~ Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

So where does this spiritual master reside? Within the soul!

The next time you get into place of confusion or where you need to make a major decision get in a quite spot, sit still and allow your heart to speak to you. For more on meditation click here. Imagine a green flame burning brightly in your heart and focus on that. Relax and focus on the flame. With practice you can do this in a moment’s notice and maintain this connection all the time. I believe the urgency for all humans to learn and practice this is great and growing!

Another meditation that works well for transgender individuals is to visualize two flames, one pink and one blue. As you relax allow the images to merge into one purple flame. Feel the energy as you do this and focus on the heart, right in the middle of your chest between the breasts. This is not your physical heart but your spiritual heart and it is dead center in your body. Pay attention, it has a message of Love for you!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Transgender Day of Remembrance

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Have you ever considered why this day of remembrance is important? How about the advocacy work that so many organizations do? Does it work and why does it work? I mean what makes advocacy work! I remember being distressed by the thought of everyone gathering around and sharing victim stories and it was almost like death was a success. And indeed it is a success for ego mind, but that is another story.

Today I would like to shine the light on why it is important to remember events of the past and to honor those who have gone before you. The obvious answer that I have heard many times, “learn from your past or you are doomed to repeat the mistakes”, falls short. The other answer that these individuals are important as human beings and kindred family is indeed one of the reasons, but to me not the most important.

The real gift here is that injustice is brought to light. Awareness is raised in the minds of all people and they see that violence is destructive and unjust. Transgender Day of Remembrance brings our community to the main stream consciousness in a cry for equal rights. It is a statement that we are people too and deserve to be treated as well any other person. The fact that often gets lost in communities is we are all humans and a part of the whole of life; it is not us against them! Let me emphasis this point. It is never about US vs. THEM in any situation. When this perspective is taken it becomes a losing proposition. One if not both parties loose. The Equal Rights movement is about equal rights for everyone. No one person is better than any other or more deserving or less deserving of common basic human needs such as personal security, love, self esteem, personal fulfillment, cultural security, and participation, plus a right to life, liberty, freedom of thought, expression and identity, and equal treatment before the law. Let us focus on the things we all desire.

In the end what makes advocacy work is the Universal Law of Attraction among other laws. What you focus on grows. Or to say that another way, the energy of attention is a funnel that sends this power where ever it is pointed. If you are focusing on the things that are wrong or broken or painful then you get more of them. However if you are focusing on what is working, how systems are supporting you and what you like about a certain person, place or thing then you will get more of that! This seems simplistic I know and there are details if you wish to know more. This works, I am a living testament to it and actually so are you!

Take advantage of this Day of Remembrance to focus on what you loved about that person who has lost or taken their life. Focus on the laws that have been passed recently which raise awareness to what is acceptable and what is not. Share your dream of the world you wish to live in! It is important to be heard, we all deserve this so listen to others and treat them the way you wish to be treated. There are no victims only volunteers, thus I honor all the beautiful people who have volunteered to be symbols of change and to shine the light on a community’s needs.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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The Power of Place

by Sequoia Elisabeth

I challenge you to notice how your thinking and interests change as you are in different places. The power of the environment to effect change in your thoughts and behaviors is an important tool for coping in Transition.

It has long been known that who you hang out with is a reflection of who you are. This is the big reason why your parents worked so hard to get a house in a nice neighborhood with good schools and low crime rates. The question that keeps coming up for me is which came first, who you are or the environment. Does the environment reflect you or do you reflect the environment?

I believe the answer is both. Visualize the neighborhood where you live. Did it look this way before you moved here? How do you know? What has changed since you moved there? Is it to your liking or otherwise? Has your thoughts about the neighborhood changed since you moved in? I suggest that the fabric of space and the appearance of your environment are a reflection of your thoughts, so you are experiencing the same space that others experience but in your own way based on your thoughts about it.

Each place you go has its unique energy and when you experience that energy you combine with it to create your unique experience. So this is what I mean about both came first, the environment and you. You make the environment and the environment makes you! The small changes you observe when you go to a place you visited only a month ago or even a moment ago are reflections of your consciousness changing. These changes validate your thoughts and in doing so they empower the thoughts to become stronger or not depending on what you think about these changes. The environment is a reflection of you and your thoughts combined with other people’s thoughts or the ripple effect.

To better explain this ripple effect, remember that there is but one mind. There is no one else! What you experience as other people’s thoughts is only a ripple of your own thoughts. The other important thing to understand is that the conscious mind is not aware of all thoughts and in fact 90-95% of thoughts in the average person are unconscious thus supporting this effect of other people.

I hope I have not lost you. If you are still reading let me transition into the way this works to your advantage. When you know how a process works you have more control over its operation. You can visualize the process supporting you. Things happen to help you grow and experience what you need.

Often people go to the library to study or relax in a place of silence, or go to the mall for the excitement of shopping and seeing many other people. In this way you cope with your moods and feelings. You are using the power of place to shape your experience! Let’s say you are at a bar late at night and you decide to walk home. Which route you take or if you decide to take a taxi and the thoughts you are having about the trip home will reflect your thoughts and feelings. If you feel safe you will be and if you take a path that supports that safety. They work hand in hand.

I believe the key is to be aware of your feelings and thoughts at all times and this is done not only by being in touch with your heart chakra, but by your surroundings.

In Loving Awareness, Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

All The World Is A Stage

by Sequoia Elisabeth

We all play roles in our lives all the time and this includes the one you are playing right now. It is important to clarify your roles in each situation of life so that you may more fully experience life. Even more important is to realize that you are not the roles that you play. It is easy to get caught up in role playing and believe this is who you are.

The daily social roles are the easiest to get stuck on, such as mother, daughter, grandmother, spouse, partner, friend, and caregiver. The occupational roles such as Doctor, Lawyer, Mason, or Chef are also something that many identify with and this can be both stifling and liberating depending on how you view them.

“You” is a broad term and as you grow spiritually you realize that there is a lot more to “you” than you realized. There is the individual you, the roles you play as you, the larger you that is connected through community and there is the Universal One you, which is the only “real” you there is.

Knowing this is important because if you get caught up in a role it will rule your life instead of you being in charge. It is like putting the cart before the horse. When you know who you are and come from this core place you always have a strong foundation on which to stand.

You are not this occupation or that social role but a Divine Child of the Creator and an heir to the throne. You are a humble servant of the Most High. How you serve now can take any form and will change often from moment to moment. You may be a beautiful woman, mother, spouse, daughter, and lawyer all at the same time! The trick is to allow yourself to be each fully while in that role. While on the phone with your daughter be the mother that you are fully and completely. As soon as you hang up with her you are back to being the lawyer so you give that your all. A co-worker compliments you on being beautiful and in that moment you experience gratitude and humility. The joy of the moment will stay with you but your role in the next moment will change back to being the top lawyer.

The important aspect of role playing is when you are in a role you allow Divine Spirit to flow through in that role and no other. When in another role you focus only on that role. It is in the moment living that truly empowers you to live your life to the fullest. As we all know, there is only one time and that is now.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Gaia – Divine Mother

by Sequoia Elisabeth

If God is all there is, then that means there is only one mind the mind of God. Each and every thing, person, plant, animal, and organism is God. Oneness is the order of the day, it is the new philosophy that is changing the face of earth. Just as the realization that the Earth is not the center of the Universe, or that the world is not flat. Oneness will transform the world we live in to the Aquarian Peace that is predicted. Consider a moment that the Earth is one organism, that it is alive and functions much like all organisms. Let us see Gaia as the Divine Mother that she is.

Every creature or complex life form has many working parts. Each of these parts needs to serve its proper function for the creature to be healthy. Let’s compare with humans for a minute. Our body is made up of cells, and those cells create the structure and function of our bodies. Earth is also made up of many living parts like cells, and humans are a part of the system. This is what is called the holographic effect. Everything is made up of parts resembling the larger and the smaller whole. Each cell of our bodies contain worlds unto themselves, just as our world is echoed throughout the Universe.

Each cell in our body has a purpose or function. Skin cells hold the body in, gives us shape and form, protects the inner environment from the outside elements, and allows the body to function in very different conditions. The Bone cells provide structure and strength to the body as well as produce blood cells. Nerve cells are how we communicate. Gaia has these systems also and we are a part of that.

There are plants that act like lymph cells filtering sunlight, converting this to energy and producing oxygen while they filter the air of carbon dioxide. The animals each have a function as does every creature on earth and within. What purpose does the human have? I would like to say that we are like brain cells and provide the intelligence on earth, but I am afraid that is not the case. I would say that human’s role here is to be observers, to be aware of who and what we are. We are witnesses to the Divine Cosmic dance of life. Our bodies are vehicles for doing this and the One mind operates through us to this end. As much as we try to do things, 99.9% of that is busy work. The real service we play here are vehicles of consciousness.

Just as each cell has it purpose and function, Humans have theirs and if a cell deviates from that purpose and function they become cancerous. In order for humans to rid themselves of cancer they must first stop being a cancer! Each person on earth need ask themselves, what is my purpose here? Am I fulfilling that purpose? And if not, how can I re-align with that purpose? Consider that each person is born into a family and that family has a history of doing a certain type of work. Everything happens for a reason, so consider your place in life and allow yourself to thrive in that place. This is what being yourself is all about.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Metacognition

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The dictionary defines it as awareness and understanding one’s thinking and cognitive processes; thinking about thinking. (Dictionary.com) I have discovered that it is a valuable tool in transition. My ministry and much of the New Thought movement are based on this. The Buddhists teach a form of it as a method of enlightenment. We are going to apply it to transition as a tool for deepening the journey and enriching the experience.

As we have discussed before, transition is changing from one state of being to another. Metacognition is a great tool for use in this process. Take gender transition for example. In order to change from one state, say male to female, then one must know that they are a woman inside a man’s body. Awareness of who you are is vital to the transition and the best way to know this is to find out who you are not through a process of elimination. This requires an exploration of beings in your world and an insatiable curiosity of the surrounding environment.

I first learned of this term metacognition from my voice coach and have since had some pretty amazing realizations. Starting with my concept of who I am depends on the concept of others. It is a fascinating dynamic. I know now that I feel female and I was born male. The term transgender has been invented to describe this state of being. I am a woman in a male body. The physical transition for me is about complete, my body appears female.

When I go out in public people treat me as they would any other tall woman, with curiosity and smiles. I no longer get questions as to whether I am male or female. They see a woman and assume that truth, just as they did before when they assumed I was a man. The interesting part is that their reaction depends not only on what I look like but act and think like. Yes, my thoughts and expectations make a difference and this is to be expected. The thing that I found interesting is their thoughts and expectations make a difference too. Basically you experience what you expect from what you see. People take each other at face value. If I were instead running around in a wheelchair I would be treated as a handicap person, and I would act that way! Your appearance dictates your behavior.

As an example, I find that I act more feminine and am able to speak with a more feminine voice around people I do not know. When I am around others who know that I am transgender and born a male my voice is lower and I act less girly. The dynamic is a valuable tool in the process of transition because now we know that our behavior depends not only on a personal choice but on a larger perception. I am who I believe myself to be, as well as who others believe me to be, and this is in perfect alignment with the teachings of Oneness that I have dedicated myself to share.

“As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Are You Man Or Woman?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Do you feel like a man or like a woman? What is a certain gender supposed to feel like? How do you know? I realize that most cisgender people have not considered these questions, but for a transgender or transsexual individual it is of constant concern. Gender incongruency is something that ~98% of the population can’t even fathom. What if the concept of gender as taught in the schools the last 100 years is inaccurate?

First understand the difference between sex and gender. Sex is determined by the parts between the legs and gender is determined by the parts between the ears. At least this is the modern or current understanding by science. Consider the possibility that each person is here in this reality for a purpose and they have chosen the roles they are to live before they are even born.

What if in fact gender is determined by consciousness, the field which surrounds the body and everything in creation. What if no one is born with a gender and instead they acquire it. Much like sexual orientation must be discovered by the individual. I cannot tell my brother that he is gay or straight or if he is man or woman. These are things he must discover. Life is a discovery! And we are explorers.

The prevalent teaching about God or Great Spirit or Universal Mind or Infinite Intelligence (or whatever you choose to call this energy) is that it has no sex or gender. Eastern philosophies have known this for centuries and in the past few centuries the western philosophies are accepting that God is not a man sitting on a throne up in heaven, some people more than others. I do not have actual statistics on this, but from what I gather this concept is changing.

The idea I present here today is that God is all there is and since God is all, so are we. This means that no one has a gender or a sex in reality! Those things only exist in this reality we call life on earth. We are indeed all androgynous beings of light! You may have seen this image presented before as alien life, for instance in the movie Cocoon (1985) or in episodes of Star Trek and in multiple instances in the media. Everything is energy.

I mention the idea of androgyny here because I feel this is the truth of nature. I believe that hetero and homo sexuality are creations of the human mind or the mind of man. This goes for what makes up a man or woman, male or female also. How do you know what a man or woman feels like? You do not, anymore than anyone else does. Just because you seem to have been born male or female does not mean you know what a man or woman feels like. It is what you say it is.

In the end you feel like YOU. Accept this feeling and get comfortable with it; it is all you will ever have in this lifetime. No matter what you change on the outside, the inner core remains the same. The experience will change and this is the point of the material world anyway. Enjoy the ride and only act with authenticity in your life. Live with pride! This is your role in life and it is mine.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

The Other Side of the Coin

by Sequoia Elisabeth

For every person who is suffering, there is someone who is living in Joy. For every person who is bullying others, there is someone who is Loving all who they meet. Often the bully’s are hurting as much or more than their victims. High school is a right of passage that all Americans experience. How you handle it is not only a reflection of who you are, but of how you were raised!

Puberty is a time when so many aspects of life are changing and it is when those who are gender incongruent smack head on with a wall of confusion. Not to mention figuring out sexual orientation. If you have ever looked at the questions on sites like yahoo answers the number of questioning teenagers is amazing. They are discovering sexuality and gender identity from different perspectives and finding what works best for them and this goes for all teenagers. The environment in which they are raised will have much to do with whether they feel safe to be themselves.

Are you providing an open, loving and accepting environment for your children to grow up? Do you set an example for them by treating everyone you meet as an equal? In order to create a world of equality, one must embody it first! As we do this then those who follow will do the same, it is human nature.

There can be no better role model than Jesus Christ. When you fully understand his personal teachings you will have the skills to be a role model. I recommend A Course in Miracles (ACIM), A Spiritual Sex Manual, and The Art of Spiritual Peacemaking for starters. There are literally hundreds of books and teachings that are based on these teachings. One of my favorites that applies to the discussion of bullying in our schools is posted below. The before mentioned books teach how to do what this prayer suggests. May your journey be a peaceful and prosperous one.

Christian Prayer for Peace

Blessed are the Peacemakers for they shall be known as the Children of God.

But I say to you that hear,

love your enemies,

do good to those who hate you,

bless those who curse you,

pray for those who abuse you.

To those who strike you on the cheek offer the other also,

and from those who take away your cloak, do not withhold your coat as well.

Give to everyone who begs from you,

and of those who take away your goods, do not ask them again.

And as you wish that others would to do you, do so to them.

If anyone needs this explained to them please contact me, I am more than happy to get into the details and meaning of this prayer. To me it is self evident what it means, however from the state of affairs worldwide many do not understand this prayer, much less read such things. May we all be Blessed in our Journey of Love!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Bullying?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Bullying is getting blamed for a string of suicides in the LGBT community. Since I am not responsible for my own life, it must be the other guy’s fault, especially those mean kids who call me names and disrespect me. Right? This is portentous ground we travel on here!

Here is a video from the “It Gets Better” project started by Dan Savage. They offer some compelling statistics and a convincing argument against bullying. Is this not a “no brainer?” Harming anyone in any way, verbally, physically, or mentally is simply wrong, not because there is a right way and a wrong way, but because what you do onto another, you have done to yourself! The Oneness concept is so important to understand in this regard.

Suicide is hard to explain because the individual committing the act is not around to explain. However, since there is but one mind, the reasons can be ascertained by simply looking at the individual’s life. Being a transgender woman who has attempted suicide I can tell you from personal experience it is not about blaming anyone. All suicide is a cry for help on some level. The reason anyone commits suicide is because they have no other options they are aware of. The key is “aware of”. Let’s give our children options! Anyone who has felt different or for some reason stands out must learn to deal with their situation.

Once again I am very familiar with this as a 6’11” transwomen! The best gifts I have received along my path have been coping skills combined with Loving support. There is often at least one person in your life that cares enough to show you that you are Loved. For me it was my Grandmother, along with others in my family who taught me that I am a worthy individual and a valuable person in this world.

Is this not what we all desire? A gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender person is no different than anyone else in this regard. We are human beings and we need to treat all members as equals! Just because someone is different is no excuse for abuse!

This Transition Blog’s main purpose is to teach coping techniques and Spiritual concepts. I am telling you now that when you have something to believe in, something larger than yourself, getting through the difficult situations that we all face is so much easier. You are never alone.

The other thing that helps get you through the rough spots is having friends; a community that supports you and loves you for YOU. I know that sometimes you feel like you cannot trust anyone, not even yourself! As the world closes in on you all goes dark, there is no way out! So Hara Kari wins… It does not have to!! There is always another choice, all ways and always!

The one thing that has helped me lately is to help others. When you help others you are helping yourself, it is an awesome principle. “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity NEW eBook on Sex and Sexuality available now

Who’s Song Do You Dance To?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Have you ever considered who rules your life? Do you? Or does someone else? Think about the laws which we submit ourselves to every day. Some make divine sense and are easy to accept, while others are not so easy to accept.

The thought of taking another’s life seems absurd to me as does the thought of harming anyone. When I eat anything I thank Great Spirit for providing me nourishment, whatever form it may be in. The concept of Oneness dictates that we are part of the whole so energy is simply changing forms. From plant to human, or animal to human, vice versa, etc. Life feeds on Life! When anything eats anything it is one form changing to another, and yes it is as simple as that, place no judgment on it!

What about more civil matters such as relationships? Who’s rules are you following? Society has certain dictates, as do you on a personal level. You have made certain promises to yourself, correct? What about legal rules like laws against sodomy or incest? What about marriage laws? Do you allow others to dictate to you who you can Love? Why? Have you ever jumped out of an airplane or off of a cliff? Many have and they are still here to tell about it.

The way I see it you either conform or not. If you desire to play the game of society you must play by their rules. Such as no same sex marriage, no sodomy or incest, no love unless you conform to the societal laws. If this brings you Joy and fulfills your heart then I say Awesome! If not, then I say listen to the heart! If you are following reason or listening to your thoughts you are most likely conforming to societal laws.

It is not about changing society! STOP trying to change the world around you and go within. It is about listening to your heart and ignoring society! Love, my children, comes from within you! Those who look outside them for love, go without! This goes for all situations and circumstances, although the way in which it manifests will be different for each person. The world around you is a message. Take heed! Love the loving and forgive the hate!!! Nothing in the world around you can harm you, for it is illusion. Have you ever considered why we can watch someone on TV or the movies die and not be concerned? We know it is illusion, right? So is this world! TV and movies are a message!

We basically have two choices, Love or not, and ultimately even those choices are illusion. Love is all there is, so attempting to be anything else is illusion. It is all Good! Make everything in your life OK. If you are transgender, then Love your body, if you have been abused then Love (for-give) your attacker, if you have been abandoned, then accept yourself! Just enjoy the ride! Row, Row, Row your boat 😉

I Love you Dear Ones!

Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity NEW eBook on Sex and Sexuality available now

The Transgender Journey

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The transgender journey is a personal experience. Even though this is true, this journey has certain patterns or characteristics. Let’s look at some of the things that are similar with all transgender individuals.

First of all, we have all realized at some level when we were very young that our bodies somehow seemed “not right”. Whether we actually understood that our brains are one gender and our physical bodies are another is different for each person.

There comes a time when we need to experiment with crossdressing, this may last a lifetime or it may be very brief depending on the amount of guilt associated with this action. I remember my first time crossdressing only lasted a few minutes. I could feel this was right for me, that I am a woman but the fear and guilt almost killed me!

Going public with your “secret” is another phase of the journey. Once again this phase is characterized by fear; it grips you like no horror movie ever could. Hours are spent getting ready and you go out late at night to lessen the likely hood that you will be seen by someone you know, or that you will be discovered. Passing is everything! Once this has been done successfully, and excitement is felt and we get braver and braver.

Not all transgender realize that there are other transgender people so when they realize this meeting them becomes a high priority. It is a like attracting like, or Law of Attraction thing. This phase can occur before or after the coming out phase and will often motivate the individual to come out at least to their friends.

Coming out takes on all sorts of appearances, so it is hard to explain, the one thing that this phase encompasses is relief. Once the fear of your secret has been released, life gets much easier! The coming out usually starts with those closest to the individual and fans out from there. The relief can be so exciting that the individual comes out to everyone they know in one big blast. The results of which can be a mixed bag and depend on where the individual is on the journey. If they have done the inner work to make it all OK within them, then those in their life will be OK with it. If the guilt still rules their life then, well it can get ugly.

Once the transgender individual begins the life experience of living full time as the opposite sex, appropriate gender for them, life often takes major turns. Some loose it all, including jobs, relationships, pushing to the edge of losing their very life. Others are able to transition on the job, maintain their relationships and thrive! Once again it comes down to how mature the individual is and if they prepared for the changes. With proper preparation the journey is deeply Joyous and rewarding.

The next phase is one of empowerment were advocacy work becomes important. Helping others is almost a right of passage. We all do it to some degree. Some will do it the rest of their lives, although most reach a point where they are happy with their bodies and wish to live an average life. They have other concerns.

Some have surgery and some do not, but the point comes when you are just living your new life and all is well just as it is. The surgery is a high priority to some and to others it is not, I would say all transgender individuals consider it at some point. There are health concerns, cost and personal reasons to consider, not to mention sexual orientation. The surgery can occur at any point after the crossdressing stage, although the later, the better in my opinion. I say this because this journey is intense and can be very demanding. The individual’s maturity and inner healing is best done in advance, because surgery is not a cure, but just a part of the process. Yes, it does help to live the life of the chosen gender, but it is not required. Sex is a very personal thing and I will say that for the transsexual or transgender individual that intimacy can be a challenge, it has been for me. I expect surgery to help, but it may in fact make sex less enjoyable. This is why getting to know yourself is so important. How do you desire to experience intimacy? I am a “have your cake and eat it too kinda girl. 😉

Sequoia Elisabeth

Gender Related Transitions