Oneness Ministry

We are One

Oct 21

Communities in Common

by Sequoia Elisabeth

First of all allow me to apologize for leaving this blog unattended for so long.  I recently relocated to a new state and a new life, so please forgive me for being occupied for this past week.  Recently I read an article about communities in common and I would like to share my perspective on this topic.

The article was about Amanda Keating who works at Out & Equal and covered her perspective on what it is to be Straight in a Gay workplace.  This is the opposite of the usual workplace so her perspective was reversed and in the process she gained some very valuable insights into sexual orientation.  On a larger scale she realized that all of our communities are connected in ways she had not comprehended previously. 

“Realizing that I was a minority, I suddenly recognized how my daily actions had enforced gender stereotypes, and therefore I deliberately altered my mannerisms. For the first time, I made the conscious decision not to put a photo of my boyfriend on my desk. I reasoned that, “I don’t need to brag about how much easier my life has been as a straight person,” when in reality I was afraid of being silently judged for not being a member of the dominant community in my workplace. I often referred to my boyfriend as “my roommate” when telling stories about my personal life and didn’t correct co-workers who joked about setting me up with people. In essence, I spent only a few months doing what LGBT employees around the world are forced to do for their entire lives: I denied my whole self at work.” (Amanda Keating, 2010)

If you want to get to know someone, walk a mile in their shoes, or put another way “see through the eyes of your opponent to know the Truth”.  This wisdom is not new and in fact has been in use for many millennia.  So why not apply this wisdom to the work place and allow your perspective to broaden.  This is what is accomplished here.  Our minds are expanded and so are our hearts for to have compassion for another person’s journey you must first understand what they are going through.  It is not possible for you to fully experience their journey but you can understand their perspective.  The compassion you show is a gift not only to them but yourself since we are all connected in Oneness.

“Creating a safe place for your LGBT co-workers to be out does not equate to creating a forum to discuss the taboo subject of sex. It equates to creating a safe place for your co-workers to develop closer relationships with you by including every aspect of their selves. It creates a safe place for everyone to present diverse experiences and points of view. Most importantly, being honest about one’s whole self allows one to shine and excel without fear of judgment….If anything needs to be communicated to the straight community, it is this: take a step back one day and realize how easy it is to be straight, and then start making it just as easy to be gay.” (Amanda Keating, 2010)

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Sep 28

Hormone Power

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The individuals who are on a gender transition journey are well aware of the power hormones wield in life; however the average person may not realize just how powerful these little communicators are.  I devote an entire chapter to hormones in my new eBook, Sex and Sexuality, which is coming out next month. 

A hormone is essentially a chemical messenger that transports a signal from one cell to another, pretty simple right?  Well, there is power in simplicity.  Physically each person has certain body parts that trigger the hormone release in the first place.  In the case of Hormone Replacement Therapy (used mostly for post-menopausal women or post op women), or Contra Hormone Therapy (used for the treatment of Gender Dysphoria or Gender Incongruency) the hormone is introduced manually. 

In the book I get into the specific effects of each sexual hormone as they are used for CHT, without going into much about HRT.  The amazing thing to me is the end result of a little chemical that orchestrates the rearrangement of your entire body, short of growing new sexual organs.

Here is a quote from the eBook, Sex and Sexuality, “The sex hormones are powerful tools for communication amongst cells, just as sexual acts are powerful communication between animals.  It seems that all of life is about some form of communication or relational experience.  Almost all of human behavior can be related to communication in some form.  We have just discovered another form here in hormones which are the chemical start to potential sexual fireworks.    

The other lesson learned here is that male and female really are fairly superficial aspects of our being and that every human has both, otherwise there would be no way for a male to take female hormones and take on the characteristics of female (or vice versa).  It really is as simple as flipping a switch in the physical makeup of the body to shift from one sex to the other on a physical level.  Of course there is a complex process that occurs and many would not consider this simple, but the point is it occurs when the messenger (hormone) tells the cell which form to take, just like flipping the light switch on the wall.  What does not shift is the gender identity or sexual orientation which is hard wired into the brain.”

A note to my transgender friends, as you know, hormones are powerful tools, but do not change the mind or your Spiritual essence, if anything they do help to accentuate them though as in the process our body, mind and Spirit are aligned.  While they help many people, they are not for everyone, so make sure you are clear on your gender identity before you make this big step.  Going back is possible at this level, but not without permanent changes depending on how far down the road you get.  I for one must say hormones are the best thing I have done for myself since becoming aware of my transgender status.  Now to have the surgery so I can stop taking them!

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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Sep 26

Plan On It

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition is not usually something that comes out of nowhere.  Most often it is a calling that draws, nags, and prods till it is faced.  When this compulsion is finally faced life can get very emotional and confusing.  One of the tools we can use in Transition is a plan.  Planning gives an overwhelming beast a tamer appearance. 

Once the decision has been accepted, (I believe transitions where chosen before we are born and are a part of our destiny) the next step is to assess where you are and where you feel you need to be.  In the case of gender transition, this is usually fairly simple.  You may say, “I have a male body but feel I need to be in female form”.   Or it may be that you desire to dress as a woman but not to be one all the time.  This is where it is important to listen to your inner feelings and take action, test the waters so to speak.

Now that you are dressing as a woman and it feels right, or you are living a lifestyle that feels right, it is time to make plans to further that path.  Look ahead, consider the options, talk to people who are on a similar path.  Those who have paved the way can make your journey smoother.  Listen to the advice and then do what feels right to you.  Take all the advice and pick out the bits that fit the cogs of your life. 

Sit down with a piece of paper and write down your plan.  Think this thing through carefully and write each step of the journey down and include a timeline.  When thoughts are put in writing they have more power and when shared with those who support you, they are further energized.  (I suppose it is obvious if you share your ideas with those who criticize or ridicule you then the energy is zapped – this means you must put more energy in and may not build up enough to reach your goal).  Make your goals clear and provide as much detail as you can visualize.  Once you are done writing your plan out, look it over each day and focus on small successes.  What have I done to move toward completing my plan?  Be easy on yourself and be quick to forgive the shortfalls and praise the successes.  If something does not work out the way you planned and I can assure you there will be something that does not, simply re-assess, formulate a new plan and keep on trekking.  Every journey is an evolution or a process and we cannot always see the entire path, so just keeping stepping up and before you know it you will be exactly where you want to be.  Then it is time to re-assess and start a new journey!  Life is eternal my friends 😉

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Sep 23

Sex and Sexuality coming soon

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Now is the time to peek at the new eBook which will be coming out next month.  I apologize for taking so long as I am sure you are anxious to see what we have to offer.  We are in the final editing stage and just need to verify a source to be ready for release.  For those who know me they know I like to dive deep into introspection all the while staring myself in the eyes.   Sex and Sexuality uses these aspects of self to delve deep within to discover inner truth.  Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation amongst other aspects are explored in an effort to deepen understanding.  My own personal story is used as one example of what the transgender journey is all about.  Of course how you relate to this is personal and unique to you, because we are all on individual journeys.  I find that by sharing stories we can all get a deeper understanding of each other and this book will inspire you to look closer at who you really are.  The significance of relationship is discovered as well as the meaning of sexuality, so I invite you to take a journey of discovery with me!

Here is a peek preview of the table of contents which will be linked on the website soon.  I usually offer the table of contents free so you can get a good idea about the book. 

                 Sex and Sexuality

One Woman’s Journey of Discovery

  1. Introduction
  2. Treatise to Terminology
  3. Gender Discoveries
  4. Sex Acts and Partners
  5. My Gender Experience
  6. Which Love?
  7. Sex as communication
  8. Hormones
  9. The Rod and the Receptacle
  10. SecondLife Possibilities
  11. A Journey of Discovery

The eBook will be available on SequoiaBlessed.info next month and there will be a promotional offer to include the 12 page workbook to go along with it.  My ultimate goal is to create an online learning program around Sex and Sexuality, so stay tuned.  May your Journey of Discovery be a joyous one!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Sep 20

Gender Roles

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Continuing from yesterday on the subject of gender roles, please read yesterday’s blog first.  I will get into the new eBook more on the next blog.  Gender role is something that many people take for granted and accept without question.  Others though are never comfortable in their gender role and live in the traditional roles of the opposite sex, for example a woman in combat military duty, fighting on the frontlines, or a young man who babysits and works in daycare. 

Obviously there is nothing wrong with this, my point here is that the roles that define man and woman are blurring.  Many young readers will question this blog as so what!  However the older reader will remember when the thought of a man working at a daycare was not acceptable, nor was a woman in combat!  Women did not break into male dominated professions till early in the last century and only on an exceptional basis.  Medical doctors for instance were all men till 1849 when Elizabeth Blackwell graduated from medical school in New York.  Now days 50% or more of medical doctors who graduate medical school are female. 

Many vocational professions still shun women, so why is this?  Is there really a reason why a woman cannot fix a car or fire a weapon?  I will tell you that from my view women are feminine in essence and for that reason are usually not ideal for aggressive vocations such as fighting.  The real issue comes in with stereotypes and is perpetuated by learning.  We are taught from the day we are born what a particular gender does.  If your sex was male at birth then you are taught what the gender roles of men are.  If for some reason you participate in a woman’s role then you are disciplined or corrected. 

Physically each person has gifts that give them an advantage and putting those gifts to work makes a lot of sense.  When it comes right down to it, anyone can do any job, however some people will have an advantage in certain work situations.  It is important to see the person for the skills they possess and stop using gender as a clear indicator as to whether this person will be good at it.  If a woman wishes to do wood carving or car repair and becomes good at it then they should be welcomed as much as anyone else.  The same goes for men who enjoy working with babies or love to sew.

Male privilege is something that also figures in here, because traditionally men have been more accepted than women no matter what they do!  This is changing in today’s world, thank goodness, however it still exists and all I ask is that you see it and stop supporting it.   All people are created equal in God’s eyes.

Personal relationships challenge our gender roles more than anything else, so I would like you to look closely at your life.  Do you treat the opposite gender differently?  Why?  Is it ok for a woman to open the door for her man or for a woman to buy flowers for her partner?  If they do does this make them masculine?  Is this just common courtesy?  Should we put limits on what a person can do just because they are a certain gender?  Or should we listen to our heart and do what feels good?   I think you know the answer to these questions and there is no right answer, only what works for you!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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Sep 19

Gender Expression

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The following quote is from the new eBook coming out next month. 

“A few words about the differences of gender role and gender expression, while they are similar in that they are a choice, they are different in that gender expression is about our outer appearance and gender role is the activities we are involved in.  So wearing make-up and female clothes is a female gender expression, while a female gender role would be cleaning house and babysitting.  I hesitate to include this here as our roles and expressions are getting to be so varied and free.  The old rules are breaking down, so we are seeing women in combat duty now while 20 years ago that was almost unheard of.  Men are cleaning house, washing dishes and babysitting now days too and this does not make them female.  The best way I can put it is that we are integrating now as a society and our roles and gender expressions are much more open.  While a man in a woman’s role or a woman in a man’s role may be questioned, or even ridiculed, more of society is accepting them now.  Gender expression is the area which has less latitude.  In a male dominated society men expressing as woman are questioned far sooner than a woman expressing as a man.  It is assumed that everyone wants to be male!  (Not to imply this is choice.)”

I am sure you have an opinion on this topic and I am curious to hear what you have to say.  Gender expression has slowly gotten more liberated over time.  Just like anything else it goes through cycles.  The world today is shifting from a male dominated society to one that is more balanced and Matriarchal.

If masculine energy is active, feminine energy is passive.  We have both for a reason and right now the balance is shifting!  As much as it seems that there is much to do, take time every day to simply do nothing.  Play relaxing music if you like, but just take a few minutes at least to just sit and listen to the silence.  Get in touch with your feminine energy, the passive side that is soft, easy going, caring, compassionate and smooth.  Let go of the masculine energy or active side.  There is no need to be strong, hard, angular or aggressive right now.  Just relax and feel the peace.  The world needs your Peace, your Passivity and your Silence. 

Gender expression is about what you show the world.  The desire to live an authentic life and feeling free to do so is everyone’s right!  Just because you appear to be man or woman does not make it so.  Just because you act one way or the other does not make it so either!  So how does one know if they are in the right body and gender expression?  They just do.  Gender is an inner feeling or knowing that most of us never question, if you are questioning it then I suggest you visit the website below and discover more.  The next blog will discuss gender role and preview the eBook Sex and Sexuality.  Ta ta till then,

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

 Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Sep 8

Will Power

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The senses of the mind are tools for us to use in Transition.  How effectively you use these 6 tools will determine how successful your transition is.   Take will power for instance.  Your ability to use self-control, or discipline is immensely valuable in transition.  How well are you staying focused on your dream or goals?  Are you determined in your actions? 

Transition involves changing from one state of mind or being to another and this requires intense will power and self-discipline.  In order to stay focused on your dreams and desires a certain inner conviction must be reached.  It is like making an agreement with your-self or setting an intention.  Let’s say that you desire to lose weight and present your physical form in a certain way. 

Your beliefs are the most important factor in this endeavor, and these include your self-image and how you feel about yourself.  I love myself and therefor I am willing to exercise, eat healthy foods and only eat when I am hungry.  I will maintain my perfect vision of the physical form I wish to present.  “I WILL” This statement in itself is setting that intention and sealing the agreement with yourself or higher self.  It is a re-alignment of your thoughts to that which you desire!  Instead of focusing on the illusion of the present situation, you are focused on the reality of your desired results.  There is a certain feeling you get when you attain this goal, use the power of imagination and will to reach this feeling now.  Hold onto this feeling and use it as your guiding light. 

Will power is an inner guidance you use consciously to motivate yourself based on your inner convictions and goals.  Go deep within your heart and feel your desires.  Get in touch with these inner convictions and goals so that you can use your will power to stay focused and attain these goals easily.  Once you become clear on your goals or inner purpose, and use your will power to stay focused, it becomes a habit.  You become the person you desire to be!  You have transitioned. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Sep 6

Imagination Leads to Creation

by Sequoia Elisabeth

In developing a Spiritual practice there are several tools that are instrumental in creating an open space for growth.  The one I use most is creative visualization and I recommend Shakti Gwain’s book with the same title.  I will summarize here so that you can get an idea of how to use this tool. 

By tapping into the power of the imagination and creating a vision of that which you desire, the door of creation is opened.  Say you need a new car and so you are visualizing the new car you are desiring, make the vision as real as you can by seeing the shiny gold paint and sleek styling, feeling the soft leather seats and firm steering wheel, and smelling the new car smell and the fresh air blowing in the window as you are driving down a deserted country road.  The more real you make the experience the stronger your emotion of joy becomes and the greater the probability of the experience manifesting.  Put no limits on the manifestation of this experience, simply hold the feeling of knowing that it is true.  Don’t forget to take the actions which will make it reality.  Remember, thoughts, words, and action!

The technique can be used for anything and for instance I used this method to assist my transition from male to female.  I still use it often by visualizing my body as I know it is.  I can feel my womb and visualize the rams horns which make up my internal sex organs; the coiled ovaries (the ram horns), the head of the ram (my uterus), and below this the mouth of the ram (my vagina)!  I visualize this as often as I remember and it helps to set up a schedule for meditation at least once a day.  Use this technique with every aspect of transition, voice, breasts, hair, face, etc. 

To energize the visualization place yourself in society interacting with others and if you are so inclined creative visualization works very well in loving relationships and sexual encounters.  How many times have you been making love and think of someone else?  What happens to this relationship down the road?  Be careful how you use visualization and intend that it be in the Highest and Best good of yourself, your partner and everyone everywhere. 

The secret to making this work is to ignore what appears to be true and know without a doubt that which is true!  Reason with yourself if you like and explain to yourself why you know this is true.  When you have a deep experience that pleases you greatly, use your memory to revisit this experience over and over.  These are each tools of the mind; imagination, perception, will, reason, memory and intuition.  Consider how you use these six tools of the mind and be aware of the possibilities!  If we only realized just how powerful we are in creating the life we desire, the world would be a much more joyous place. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Aug 30

Sex and Sexuality

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition is changing from one form or state of being to another, and this process can happen instantly or it can take many years.  It is human nature to resist change so most often it is a slow process.  Each person has a fundamental energy signature that characterizes the individual’s personality or character.  Transition involves a change in energy vibration or energy signature. 

In my eBook Methods of Raising Our Energy I describe several techniques you can use to facilitate transition and make it smoother just as I do in this blog.  Actually the eBook came first and then I was inspired to begin this blog because this is in alignment with my mission statement and ministry goals. 

Toward that purpose I have been working on a new eBook that addresses the subject of Sex and Sexuality.  In this dual natured world we live in each aspect of life can be used to better your life or to ruin it!  Sex and Sexuality are foremost on this list.  The level of energy that is put into any activity determines the result that is attained.  By level of energy I mean your intention and purpose.  When sex activity is used for pleasure only it becomes all about the pleasure and what I can get out of it.  It becomes give me MORE! 

Such is any addiction and the root to so much suffering in the world.  The mind gets stuck on what can I get out of this, or what’s in it for me?  This is a very destructive mode to operate in and if your life is not going the way you would like, I would look at this very closely.  When the coin is flipped and you approach sex with an attitude of what do I have to offer?  Or How can I serve you?  Then the energy is flowing in the proper direction, through you.  You become the Light that heals and lifts up. 

Sexuality is basically the essence of this energy.  I equate sexuality with spirituality.  The energy signature I mentioned can be thought of as your sexuality.  It is what you have to offer the world.  Sex is only one method of expressing this energy.  Friendship, Love, compassion, caring, gratitude, grace, and many others are ways of expressing your sexuality. 

Gender identity and sexual orientation are aspects of your sexuality that I discuss in my new eBook.  Please keep an eye out for it.  I am releasing it in time for Christmas and the winter holidays.  If you are interested in my other eBooks, please visit this website, Unity in Gender Diversity.

May your days be filled with Joy and your nights peaceful. 

:0) Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Aug 23

Transitions Gift

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Using your passions, loves and transitions for remaining aware, alert and connected is to me their very purpose.  What are you experiencing as a major event, process, or happenstance in your life at this moment in time?  Let’s make some lemonade! (If it already is sweet we can add some raspberries)

School can be a very traumatic time in your life so I will use this as an example for how to use this challenge to better your life.  First of all, attitude is everything, so let go of any preconceived notions of how things are supposed to be.  I mean the movies and television are fun, but not necessarily accurate to actual school life.  The situations will also be slightly different depending on what level of education you are experiencing and your age.  Take the attitude of “everything is as it needs to be, for me to be the person I am to become”.  Stop for a minute.  Did you get that?  Read it again. 

Consider now who that person is.  Who are you?  Who do you want to become?  Do you have any role models?  What do you like about them?  How can you develop those traits in your own life?  

Now that you have an idea of who you are and where you are going, take that first step.  Be as aware as you can be of every little nuance.  Feel the wind on your cheek, the sun on your back and the hardness of the pavement.  Notice how you feel, however do not judge this feeling as good or bad.  Simply take mental notes.  The power of simple observation is not to be underestimated.  Once you can let go of daily drama and simply “be”, the sooner you will attract those things you desire into your life. 

From the perspective of a transwoman, notice those aspects of your life that are in sync with your desires and stay focused on the changes that will take you there.  It is about the journey and not the destination, so enjoy the journey!  It is not something to be endured, or suffered, so simply feel the pain of electrolysis, feel the embarrassment of being outed in the mall in front of all your friends, and feel the awkwardness of wearing a wig for the first time, so that you fully embrace this journey.  The less you resist these changes the easier it will be, because they are bringing you closer to who you really are. (Suffering is resistance to pain, when you simply allow the pain and not make a big deal of it, it suddenly becomes less intense.) In the words of the Borg (Star Trek) “Resistance is futile”.

Take the Zen approach and let go, allow yourself to be swept downstream and if you go over a waterfall, trust that the landing will be smooth.  Things have a way of working out for the better when you stop getting in the way and simply follow the path before you.  Staying aware and alert will not only bring opportunity into your life it will make the experience that much richer.  Savor the opportunity to be, “You”. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Aug 14

The Law of Polarity

by Sequoia Elisabeth

This 4th Universal Law is one that we face every day and when we understand this Law and how to transmute it so many doors open that lead to Joy, Peace and Love.  On the transition journey seeing the polarity, knowing that they are two parts of a whole and embracing both parts leads us to freedom.

“The Law of Polarity: “Everything is dual, everything has poles; everything has its pair of opposites; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree”. The first of the mutable Universal Laws tells us that there are two sides to everything. Things that appear as opposites are in fact only two extremes of the same thing. For instance heat and cold may appear to be opposites at first glance, but in truth they are simply varying degrees of the same thing. The same applies to love and hate, peace and war, positive and negative, good and evil, yes and no, light and darkness, energy and matter. You can transform your thoughts from hate to love, from fear to courage by consciously raising your vibrations. This is what in the ancient Hermetic Teachings is called the Art of Polarization.

Neutralizing the Law of Polarity: This Principle of Duality may appear to be very real in your life but it operates only in the physical and mental realms, not in the spiritual realm where All is One. As it says in the Bhagavad-Gita “God is Above the Opposites”. By always placing the all-powerful, all-knowing Great Spirit of which you are a part behind your every thought, statement and action, and by always focusing on the “good”, even when things appear to be going “bad”, then in time you will neutralize the Law of Polarity such that it ceases to operate in your life.” (Kotsos 2011)

Relating this Law to gender transition, male and female are parts of the whole and when you see this transition becomes so much easier.  Take a paper sack and turn it inside out, notice the similarities and the differences.  Now turn your paper sack into a plastic bag.  Having difficulty with that?  Paper and plastic come from different elements and are thus not the same.  We are able to transition from male to female or female to male because each is a pole of the same thing, Human.  We are not turning coal into gold here, we are turning the sack inside out. 

Focus on embracing both parts of the whole and putting them in place respective to your personal gender identity.  In essence you are showing the world who you are, not who they expect to see.  We do this by Loving all of our body, not just the part we identify with.  How can you only Love a part of God?  Or Love only a part of your Partner?  True Love and complete transition are total Love of all aspects of who you are! 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Ps. Personal footnote here, Loving all aspects of who you are does not preclude you from changing your body to better reflect your image.  In fact the act of Loving your body requires that you modify it to your vision.

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Aug 9

The Law of Gender

by Sequoia Elisabeth

There are 7 Universal Laws that apply equally to all things in this universe.  The sacred teachings of all traditions touch on these Universal Laws in some way.  To better understand these laws and how to apply these to our lives the next seven blogs will be a countdown of 7 Universal Laws.  Knowing the law is one thing, applying this law is another thing altogether.  Add these tools to your notebook so that the transition journey is all the more fulfilling.  

Tania Kotsos in The Seven Universal Laws Demystified lists the seventh law as,

“The Law of Gender: “Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles”. The last of the seven Universal Laws is evident throughout creation in the so-called opposite sexes found not only in human beings but also in plants, minerals, electrons and magnetic poles to name but a few. Everything and everyone contains both the masculine and feminine elements. Among the outward expressions of Feminine qualities are love, patience, intuition and gentleness and of Masculine qualities are energy, self-reliance, logic and intellect. Know that within every woman; lay all the latent qualities of a man and within every man those of a woman. When you know this you will know what it means to be complete.” 

Many people would consider this law to include the duality of nature, however this law is about gender only and duality is considered in a different law.  This law is about the whole and the aspects of that whole.  To express gender fully one must embrace both masculine and feminine energy.  The fullness of being contains both. 

Let us consider this in regards to people.  A man has both energies and expresses masculine energy primarily.  Situations will arise that he will need to express feminine energy, for instance while caring for children.  In an emergency situation where people are injured and swift action is needed to save lives and respond to environmental stresses the man will need both masculine energy and feminine energy.  The injured need the feminine energy of caring and compassion while the swift action and problem solving skills of masculinity will also be necessary.  Without both he is not going to be as effective in his response.  A woman in the same situation has the same energies at her disposal, but will most likely tackle the situation differently.  It is simply a matter of using the same energies differently. 

Society needs to get over its identification with men are this way and woman that.  There are no rules, unless you make them or accept the rules others offer you!  Allow these energies to flow naturally through you and know that all is well. 

I will point out here that gender identity is how the brain is wired and follows the same Law of Gender.  Transgender individuals are wired such that the traditional male = masculine or female = feminine is reversed.  There is nothing “wrong” however; it merely is what it is.  Each person is comfortable expressing themself in one fashion or the other.  The physical body need not dictate how the individual expresses themself.  The important thing is that each individual feels the freedom to allow the Law of Gender to express through them as it needs to. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Aug 6

Modeling Your Environment

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Our thoughts are more powerful than we know and one of the principles which can assist us on our transition is “guilty by association”.   When you are aware of this principle you can use it to your advantage instead of suffering its consequences. 

This principle works by proximity, be it thought or physical location.  Whomever or whatever we associate with we become like.  This is why children often go into the professions their parents where in.  Growing up with physician parents or farmer parents greatly increases the likelihood of the child going into a similar field.  In fact I believe this is one reason why we chose the parents that we did.  Our birth families expose us to the elements that we need to grow, and it matters not if that environment is harsh or served with a silver spoon.  All situations have advantages and disadvantages. 

We learn from our surroundings and the behavior of those we spend time with.  This learning is unintentional most of the time, however when used constructively it can be very powerful.  The concept of apprenticeship and internship works this way, as does immersion learning.  When we wish to learn something new the best way is to find a teacher who can show you the “ropes”.  Volunteer if you have to, but get into the environment in which you would like to be working or be like.  If you desire to be a millionaire then hang out with them!  The same goes for drug dealers or prostitution, if you are hanging with those types you will be like those types.  You may have heard the saying “if you want to know who you are, simply look at your friends”. 

This same principle will benefit a transsexual person transitioning from male to female.  If you desire to be the woman you feel yourself to be, hang out with women.  Study their behavior and mannerisms so that you can immolate them.  How do they speak, walk, laugh, flirt, sit, interact with each other, interact with the opposite sex?  Children do this instinctively from birth, however a transsexual has been programmed in the opposite and must unlearn the rearing lessons on gender behavior and learn the new behavior.  Basically the MtoF releases their male persona (no longer identifies with it) and then allows the female persona to emerge (identifying as woman).  Some will have picked up pieces along the way because of innate feelings guiding them.  It really depends on how strict the environment was in which they were raised. 

For those who desire to start their own business, finding others who are in that business to associate with will make their likelihood of success so much greater.  Or if you are quitting smoking then you will want to stay away from other smokers and places that are associated with smoking like the bar or buddies who smoke. 

You may remember stories of gangs like “West Side Story” or “Boyz in da Hood” and if you hang out with a particular group then you are guilty by association!  Be careful the groups you hang out with and make sure you wish to be like them.  This goes in every situation whether it is on the playground, at church or at work.  I suggest hanging with people you want to be like, so if you desire to be successful then hang with successful people.  If you like art then hang out with artists, take classes in art, collect art, go to art parties.  This process will be fun when you are using it consciously. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Aug 3

Celebrate Diversity

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Sexual expression comes in many different flavors, and is possibly as unique as the number of people on our beautiful blue planet.   The old school wants us to conform to the old ‘boy meets girl, girl has baby’ scenario and while that does serve its purpose as a race we are moving beyond that.  Relationships are so much more than adding one more baby to the rising population, or even the aspect of replacing the self.  The world may appear to be a binary system with only men and women, but I can assure you it is not. 

Sexual orientation is an aspect of gender that Dr. Carl Bushong describes as “Brain Sex”.  “Our love/sex patterns, and how we relate to others on a social and interpersonal as well as sexual level, often referred to as our “Sexual Orientation”.” (1995) This aspect, like gender identity, is hard wired from birth, which means our brains, being much like a computer, are programmed to be attracted to certain physical attributes, genders and personalities. 

To restrict every person on the planet, all 6.8 Billion +, to being either heterosexual or homosexual is unrealistic.  Instead it is much more feasible that each person on earth has their own unique sexuality which falls into several categories.  The categories as they exist today are, heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, bisexual, and pansexual.  There are a few other words being used but overlap these so I will stick with this list.  Within each category will be a sliding scale so that each person falls somewhere on the scale and is not necessary stuck exactly in that spot, although they will stay within a category. 

Just briefly hetero means opposite sex attraction, homo means same sex attraction, the (a) in asexual means no sexual attraction, the (bi) in bisexual means both sexual attraction, and the (pan) in pansexual means all sexual attraction.  I do not like the term bisexual because it implies there are only two sexes, male and female.  This is the old world paradigm and no longer works (if it ever worked).  Pansexual includes everyone and applies to anyone that is sexual but not strictly attracted to the opposite or same sex.  This term is far more appropriate in today’s society. 

The whole labeling game gets a little absurd after a while because the terms become contradictory and putting people into boxes is both confining and inaccurate. For instance, a transwoman who is attracted to women is lesbian or are they heterosexual since they were born into a male body?  And what about the woman who was attracted to this person not realizing they were transgender?  Does that make them a lesbian?  So what if it does? 

The world is coming out!  We are becoming more aware of gender identity and sexual orientation, which is leading to more understanding and eventually to more acceptance.  I ask only that you stay away from the labels as much as possible and simply love the person.  This is why I like the Pansexual label best because it is defined as “A sexual orientation characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.” (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/pansexuality#English, 2010)

Who you are attracted to should not be grounds for discrimination. (In reality there are no grounds for discrimination) Could you imagine if the world judged you on the grounds of your attraction to hair color?  “Oh you like redheads, uggg or ewww”!   Actually Blondes often get joked about and while it may be in fun, it is only fun to the person joking.  Sexual orientation is just another of many category’s that are used to separate or define humans.  Being unique is a gift, and it makes us lovable and desirable.  Just think of a rare diamond or rare flower.  Uniqueness is a desirable trait in our society, so why not extend that to your relationships.  Celebrate differences and LOVE the person – stop separating!  We are One – one big family of Human. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Jul 21

What is Transition?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

What is this thing called transition and why do I care?  The basic term is fairly simple and broad in meaning.  It simply means change, a change from one state of being to another.  The key word here is being.  This is a state of being not doing.  Doing is not involved in transition.  There is nothing you can “do” to transition. 

Once you think about this for a few minutes you will realize the profoundness of this statement.  I will repeat it so you can get your head around this, there is nothing you can “do” to transition!  It matters not what type of transition you are experiencing either.  The transition can be gender related, work related, life style related or whatever.  Transition is about beingness, not doing.   This can appear to be shifting, and you may have different experiences and points of view, but your beingness will not change.

Mahatma Gandhi is quoted as saying, “Be the change you desire to see in the world”.  So what does this mean?  It means that your state of being is a product of your desires.  If you are being a woman then your are one and this goes for whatever you are being.  What you “do” does not matter.   If you move to a new home far away does this change your state of being?  If you wear the clothes of the opposite sex does this change who you are being? 

What I am saying here is transition envolves a lot more than just changing your behavior, location or circumstances.  Transition is a change in beingness at the very core of who you are.  As an example the transgender community and others often talk about all the physical changes involved, but rarely do they discuss the deep inner changes required to fully transition.  Getting SRS or Breast augmentation does not change who you are or who you are being! 

Cis-gender women and men rarely even consider their gender, it is their state of being that to them (the self) is perfectly natural.  To a transgender person however there state of beingness seems off and they desire to change or transition to a state that is harmonious.  In order to successfully transition then a person must change from being a man to being a woman or vice versa. 

My question to you is this, Are you being the person you desire to be?  Are you male or female, man or woman?  Can a male ever be female?  This is like asking if a dog can ever be a cat!!!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Jul 17

Self-Acceptance Key

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The key to self-acceptance is first of all finding out who you are.  This is not as simple as it may seem.  The person you see in the mirror is not necessarily who you are.  The body is more like a vehicle than who you are.  Just like your car is not who you are neither is your body.  Getting to the point where you are a happy with the image in the mirror and with yourself is sometimes a long road.  There is no right way to get there either so leave the GPS at home and instead use your intuition.

Introspection comes easily for some of us and much harder for others, so if you are one of those who does not like to look within, then this will be even more important to you, although you may need to get help. 

The journey goes something like this, look in the mirror what do you see?  Ok, this is your vehicle.  It was given you for a reason and most likely that reason is that it will take you where you need to go, not necessarily where you want to go.  Right here and now, STOP thinking you know where you are going.  Stop thinking you know who you are.  Let go of any preconceptions you may have acquired.  Each day is a new day and one with the potential to discover yourself. 

Now that you have discovered your vehicle go take it for a ride.  Test the cornering ability, the acceleration, and the stopping distance.  See how good you are at changing situations, demands on your services or skills, and how well you can say no.  Once you learn to say no, then you can move on and learn to say Yes.  No is easy, but Yes carries responsibilities.  Of course this will lead to rewards also.  On the road keep a notebook with you and record your best features, skills and attributes.  Get to know what you are good at and what you need work on. 

You have a long list now and are ready to pursue this even further.  Stay focused on the desirable features, skills and attributes.  The ones you really like and have already accepted.  Staying motivated at this level is about focusing on your good attributes and if you noticed any undesirable attributes on the list you can acknowledge them, thank them for being a part of you and then letting them go.  To symbolize this write them down on a piece of paper.  In a safe location, burn the paper while thinking of your desires.  What are you grateful for?  What is next for you?  Be optimistic and joyful, you have just let go of all your troubles. 

The process continues and goes deeper each time.  Life will evolve and get better and better!  Before you know it love and acceptance will exist in you on a deeper level than you even knew existed!

Remember a few things along the way.  Everything happens for a reason (unless you decide it doesn’t), Resistance is futile, and everyone is going to the same place, only in different ways, through different means, and from different perspectives.  Joy is in the journey!

 🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Jul 14

MtoF Transition

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The usual course of transition for a MtoF transsexual is to first dress as a woman and to socialize with your peers prior to taking the major step of CHT or Contra-Hormone Therapy.  Crossdressing and socialization does not need to be on a full time basis, although according the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) they do recommend full time dress for at least a year before surgery.  Socializing as a woman is very different than as a man so getting used to that aspect is greatly beneficial in both determining if you desire to progress and gaining the skills necessary to be successful.  Many things will come naturally for you such as mannerisms, emotional behavior including your needs and desires, and mental processes, because these are wired into the brain.  What may not be so natural is movement, social expectations and relationships, because these are learned.  Transition is basically the process of breaking down our learned “male” persona and allowing our natural female self to emerge.

It is important to be patient with the transition process and allow these things to occur naturally, although counseling, feminine coaching, and voice therapy do play an important part.  A skilled counselor can guide your path and point out aspects that are not natural if they are not obvious and help you get in touch with your authentic self.  The feminine coach is valuable in helping you to get in touch with feminine energy and develop its expression.  I must say the first time I felt my feminine energy vs. my masculine energy it was a revelation!  Being aware of our body’s energy and what we are projecting is very important.  For women to truly be feminine for instance do not project that energy, simply center yourself in it and this simple act will attract others.  This is the nature of receptive feminine energy.  I have posted a link on the gender links page of my website to The Yin Project who I highly recommend. 

Voice therapy is very important also and I suggest that you start this process as soon as possible, even before transitioning if you are planning that far ahead, which most of us do not.  Please see these recommended links.  I also recommend getting electrolysis started as soon as possible and depending on your age, I recommend doing laser first to clear the dark hairs and let the electrologist focus on the light hairs.  Don’t let the electrologist tell you that laser is not permanent because I know that it is from experience.   Links on this website page go over the whole process of transition planning, so this blog will stay focused on what to expect.  More info can be found on the website.  Expect laser to work and with about 6-8 treatments the dark hairs are gone for good.  Multiple treatments are necessary because of the growth cycles of hair, and just ask the person doing the hair removal to explain.  With the proper hormone regimen the face is the only area to be concerned with unless you are unusually hairy and I know that some men are.  That is OK (it doesn’t mean anything, unless you say it does, lol). 

The hormones do a remarkable job of reducing body hair and stopping male pattern hair loss.  Find a doctor who specializes in CHT for transgender/transsexual persons, because doing this yourself or using a doctor with little or no experience is setting yourself up for failure.  It can be done on your own, but that is contrary to what this whole journey is about in my opinion, which is to fully and completely experience the transition.  Many transwomen want to jump straight to the result and if that was the way it was meant to be then don’t you think that you would have been female from birth?  Please remember this blog is from my experience and if you desire a different experience then make it so.  More on this subject can be found here.   

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Transitions

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Jul 5

Perfection

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Have you ever considered how perfect your life is?  I know this is a pretty uncommon way to think but it is actually the road to success.  Not just success but happiness and authentic inner joy.  How does one discover this?  By embracing the sadness, the failures and the losses!

I am not saying that you need to seek out pain, trials or tribulations, but what I am saying is that when they show up in your life, see the perfection in that.  Embrace the gifts you are given for the simple fact that “resistance is futile”!  As Carl Yung so eloquently pointed out long ago, the fact is that what you resist persists.  What this means is as long as you fight something the more likely it will be in your life.  Look at the USA government for a perfect example.  The war on drugs, the war on crime, etc. etc. all lead to more of what they resist.  We have more drugs in society today than ever before and it can be attributed to the “war”.  What are you fighting in your life?  A war on alcoholism, a war on prejudice, or maybe it is just a dislike of your fat thighs or pot belly.  It is time to throw the towel in!  Give up!  Sometime when you win you lose and this works in reverse too. 

Take a different perspective on your life and see the perfection in all that occurs.  Look deep within and see how you really feel about losing that job which you did not care about anyway.  What puts you into a panic is the fear of loss.  Starving to death in this day and age takes some determination, but there are still some who insist on taking this road.  May they be blessed in the adventure. 

Have you considered the possibility that you create your life by your thoughts and actions?  I must agree that some things seem out of your control and beyond the scope of your desire.  I certainly have wrestled with my inner urgings and a few years ago I gave up the battle and embraced them.  The inner battle I speak of is my gender identity which did not match my outer appearance.  I was given a male body but a female brain and I have been fighting this all my life.  Transition is letting go of the battle and accepting life as it needs to be. 

The path to acceptance is paved in understanding.  Get to know yourself and accept him or her as you need to be.  Not as you want to be or even desire to be.  Your inner self is patient and when you (your ego) step aside it will emerge!

Life is full of easy times, hard times, trials and tribulations.  Once you accept this and start seeing the perfection in the grand plan which is beyond your control the world will open up for you and you will experience life as your choice as if you designed it all.  Because you did 😉

 🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Jul 3

Transition Journey

by Sequoia Elisabeth

So what is transition really?  Ok, so it is a change, but what does that mean?  Yes, change is the most constant force in the Universe!  By transition do we mean a flower blooming?  Or a child growing to an adult?  Maybe, however to make this as simple as we can let’s go with a definition of changing from one state of being to another.  Now let’s get more specific and look at gender identity.  The transition I speak of today is gender transition. 

In a way the transition is not about change at all, but about awareness.  Just being aware of what already is.  The core does not change.  Instead the person moves from ones state of being to another.  Like peeling the layers of an onion the transition journey reveals the deeper realization of self.  This may take a lifetime or it can be done in a few years.  The fact is that individuals are born with a gender identity that is innate.  However it is easy to be mis-lead by appearances.  Getting caught up in societies expectations is so easy with all the roles we have thrust upon us.  

Authentic gender transition is about removing the false persona, male identity for MtoF or female persona for FtoM, which is created to “fit” into the world based on societies expectations.  Removing the veil and allowing our authentic self to emerge is what the journey is all about.  Growing up takes time so transition does not happen overnight, however transition does happen a lot faster than the first time around, unless you are one of the lucky ones who have not allowed the veil to be drawn.  When you start young the false persona is not created, but you still must be aware of your authentic self and make sure this is who you are expressing.  More and more kids are being allowed to transition now days which is a revolution of awakening in this authors opinion. 

Transition is a natural process that really needs no assistance other than deep awareness.  Are you aware of how you feel?  What makes you happy?  Have you walked down that road and deeply enjoyed the journey?  If you are male transitioning to female then dress up and see how it feels.  Know as much as you can about the journey. It is sort of like planning a trip from New York to Shangri-La. In order to get to Shangri-La one must leave New York.  

If you need a tour guide then by all means, please get help.  Discovering the aspects of you that are false can be a long road and not an obvious one.  The most important aspect of the transition journey is to be authentic and natural.  Authenticity involves following your bliss, and doing that which brings Joy to your heart.  Let go of any desire to play a role or attempt to fit other people’s expectations.  It is not about being black or white (male or female), but about showing your true colors!

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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Jun 15

Isolation of Choice

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition is all about choice and the effects of the decisions we make along the road.  As we navigate the many options available to us we make the best decision we can with the information available to us at the time.

You may have heard the expression, “hindsight is 20/20”.  The reason for this is simple.  Looking back you have more information available so you can make a better decision.  Knowing this, it makes no sense to beat yourself up for missed opportunities or decisions that did not work out.  Look around and see where you stand and move from here.  Focus on your desires and be consistent. 

This does not mean that desires will not change and that once you get to a location that you may decide to move on or go back.  Nothing is ever in vain.  Nor is anything lost in the process of pursuing your dreams.  Even if you fail, you have succeeded in moving closer and had experiences that show you where not to go, so be grateful for what you have!  Always and all ways be grateful for what you have in any given moment.  Yes, all moments are gifts!  They are gifts from you to you. 

To those who are aware in any situation, condition or place has a gift waiting there to be discovered.  Winning the lottery may seem like a wonderful gift but can be a disaster if mismanaged.  The same goes for a seeming disaster like the death of a child or the murder of your partner.  In the midst of the situation it is not always easy to see the light (the gift).  This is where friends and family come in. 

Transitions are always a big deal and facing something like this alone is simply a formula for failure.  The isolated mind turns in on itself and life gets distorted, things seem worse than they are or perhaps they seem better than they really are.  The only way to get a clear picture of where you stand is to get feedback from those who care. 

This can mean going to the doctor or therapist, talking to your closest friend, or confiding in your immediate family.  I am not saying you look to others for approval, but only for other opinions or view points.  If a person has a long history of shooting your ideas down and telling you how much you mess up, it is not a good idea to confide in this person.  Don’t laugh!  People do it all the time.  The best favor you can do for a friend is to give them an honest objective opinion from your point of view.  It is up to the person asking to take the news maturely and put the information to good use. 

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

Gender Related Spirituality Transitions

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