Oneness Ministry

We are One

Law of Gender 7ULs

The 7 Universal Laws have become a yearly blog tradition.  So let us complete the list of seven universal laws with the Law of Gender.  There are two other laws which will get honorable mention in blogs to follow this one.  Understanding the Universe and working with life, instead of against it is our goal here.

Tania Kotsos in The Seven Universal Laws Demystified lists the seventh law as,

The Law of Gender: “Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles”. The last of the seven Universal Laws is evident throughout creation in the so-called opposite sexes found not only in human beings but also in plants, minerals, electrons, and magnetic poles to name but a few. Everything and everyone contains both the masculine and feminine elements. Among the outward expressions of Feminine qualities are love, patience, intuition and gentleness and of Masculine qualities are energy, self-reliance, logic and intellect. Know that within every woman; lay all the latent qualities of a man and within every man those of a woman. When you know this you will know what it means to be complete.”

Many people would consider this law to include the duality of nature, however this law is about gender only and duality is considered in a different law.  This law is about the whole and the aspects of that whole.  To express gender fully one must embrace both masculine and feminine energy.  The fullness of being contains both.

Let us consider this in regards to people.  A man has both energies and expresses masculine energy primarily.  Situations will arise that he will need to express feminine energy, for instance while caring for children.  In an emergency situation where people are injured and swift action is needed to save lives and respond to environmental stresses the man will need both masculine energy and feminine energy.  The injured need the feminine energy of caring and compassion while the swift action and problem solving skills of masculinity will also be necessary.  Without both he is not going to be as effective in his response.  A woman in the same situation has the same energies at her disposal, but will most likely tackle the situation differently.  It is simply a matter of using the same energies differently.

Society needs to get over its identification with men are this way and woman that.  There are no rules, unless you make them or accept the rules others offer you!  Allow these energies to flow naturally through you and know that all is well.

I will point out here that gender identity is how the brain is wired and follows the same Law of Gender.  Transgender individuals are wired such that the traditional male = masculine or female = feminine is reversed to be male = feminine or female = masculine.  There is nothing “wrong” however; it merely is what it is.  Each person is comfortable expressing themself in one way or another.  The physical body need not dictate how the individual expresses themself.  The important thing is each individual feels the freedom to allow the Law of Gender to express through them as it needs to.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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Sequoia’s Wisdom Part 2

It is time for us to dive a little deeper and address gender identity and sexual orientation. This is a continuation from yesterday’s blog, so here we go.

“I am a spiritual being having a human experience”.  It behooves you to keep this in mind along the way.  Do spiritual beings have gender?  Per Buddhists teachings, all attachments lead to pain, so since we are in a body and “have” a life – pain is inevitable.  However suffering only occurs when you hold on, resist, or ignore the signs/messages.  Pain is a messenger!   It means something, and it is up to you to figure it out.  If you need help with this many others are available to help.  When you listen to your guidance you find the answers you seek.  Life is like a game of connect the dots.  You move from one dot/spot/experience to the next like a string of moments and it all adds up to your life.  Being attached to gender identity or any identity can be painful!

Gender Identity is your personal sense of who you are, man, woman, or other.  It is in your mind and relatively fixed, however the brain has little to do with this contrary to what many think.  Nor does any physical body part!  The body is simply an effect of previous thoughts.  The DNA is a code for encrypting these thoughts which have been decided long before you are born.  This slide show explains it further, but keep in mind this was made a few years ago and my understanding has advanced since then.  It includes scientific information which is dated.  Click here to view.

I wish I could explain self-identity fully (gender and sexual orientation are aspects) but it has taken me years and many books to figure this much out.  I am still working on it.  My advice to you is to ask questions and above all listen.  Here are three authors who can help, Tom Youngholm, Neale Donald Walsch, and Dr. Michael Newton.

The secret to understanding Gender Identity and Sexual Orientation is to understand the Divine Plan.  It is bigger than you are and so it is unlikely that you will fully understand it in this lifetime.  Suffice it to know that everything is connected – literally.  Man is a part of Woman who is a part of Animal who is a part of Plant, Mineral, and Stars.  The web is multilayered, all reaching, and complex.  The Divine Paradox of life is complex beyond comprehension and yet as simple as One (1).  Thus computer language is a series of (1’s) and (0’s).

Man’s taboos, social norms, and societal behaviors are all “make-believe”.  You can do whatever you choose, however there are consequences.  Not because there is good or bad, but because of Universal Law and even this is not fixed, all you need do is go beyond this Universe.  Gender is a human experience and a man-made condition of this world.  How you experience this is up to you.  I encourage you to explore, but be careful because everything you do affects another.  (Remember this is not good or bad)  Even choosing to “do nothing” has effects.  Can you imagine life without gender?

Sexual Orientation is another aspect of the human experience, nothing more, nothing less.  Because of soul contracts made before you were born you have certain proclivities, although it is not fixed per se.  It is my belief that everyone is basically neutral or if you prefer bi-sexual (given you believe only two sexes exist).  I like the term Pansexual, meaning you are attracted to all sexes per personality coupled with appearance and not sexual body parts.  Personally I have been attracted to many different people at different times of my life depending on who I am with, how I feel, and the situation.  Bottom line, sex is an expression of love or at least it is supposed to be.  It can also simply be a biological function when existing in lower forms.  The animal human is designed to encourage sex on a basic level; however it is possible to move beyond these urges and in fact evolution requires it.  The pleasure derived from sexual encounter may be used on the path to God as the Kama Sutra teaches.  The intention behind the sexual encounter becomes paramount.  Sex for the sake of sex or to reproduce is one thing, but sex for the purpose of obtaining higher states of being is something altogether different and can be attained with either a same sex or opposite sex partner.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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Give Up Defining Yourself

“Give up defining yourself ~ to yourself or to others. You won’t die. You will come to life. And don’t be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it’s their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don’t be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of Conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.”  ~ Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth)

The Transitions Blog has been teaching this point from the very beginning and this is a good time to re-emphasize the relationship we have to identity.

 Steven 40Sequoia CDSequoia 2009Sequoia Sexy RedSequoiaElisabeth 25-Jan-12“We are all on a journey to discover who we are. In the process of thinking and doing, we see who we are not.  Along the way many personas emerge, and with each step you are closer to who you really are.  In the end we discover that there is really only one, and that is GOD.” (Unity in Gender Diversity)

Eckhart Tolle introduces an interesting concept which I had to really think about to comprehend what it means.  What I share here is open to interpretation as always.  What exactly is “the field of Conscious Presence”?  How does one be this?

At times we have all been connected to Source in such a way that we are aware of being aware.  It is a combination of being both a separate ego and a connected soul.  The feeling is one of knowing that you are not your body, or even your identity, but the consciousness that is aware that you are aware.

The reality is that God is all there is, and we are one individuation of this one infinite, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent being.  Since we are made in the image of this being and the expressions are infinite it matters not what this expression is, there is no way for you to not be who you are, “you cannot lose something that you are”.

No matter how you change the exterior it is the inner core which holds the essence of who you are.  Sometimes we need to test this and so this is where the need to dress up, wear costumes, and present in various ways emerges.  We are simply expressing the infinite!  This is not to presume that gender identity is not real, for this is a life path chosen for the express purpose of testing reality.  I can assure you that the inner drive to transition is profound and unavoidable.  This goes for most any and all transitions, as sure as a rock falls when dropped.  The goal is to see this field of Conscious Presence that each person holds and understand that the package is simply that.  Love the person inside!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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Transgender?

How does one know they are transgender?  The answer to this question is both easy and complex.  Easy in that only the individual knows they are transgender by how they self-identify and complex in that identities often blur together.

A person can identify with many others who are important in their life.  Gender is not always important, meaning they may identify with both men and woman and sometimes other beings as well, such as animals, plants, or insects.  We do it all the time, it is called anthropomorphization, projecting human characteristics on to things other than human.  A statue of stone can be made in a human image signifying a personality cold as stone.  Or metal could be used to give the figure a fiery nature.   You are not your body, but a Spiritual Being having a Human experience.

Getting back to self-identity, gender identity is usually apparent by the age of 3-6.  For this reason historically the Native Americans and recently some modern families are choosing to allow their child to tell them how they identify instead of looking between the legs and then pasting them with an identity.  Certain characteristics such as toys chosen, behavior in certain situations, and how the child interacts can be indicators of masculine or feminine characteristics.  However just because a boy likes to play with dolls does not make him transgender.

Gender is a spectrum not a binary and in fact 80% of the population falls somewhere in the middle of the bell curve.  It is rare to be totally male or completely female in gender.  Just think back about your life and did you not enjoy doing things which were considered opposite of your gender?

The point of the Transgender movement that has been growing since the fifties is equality.  Everyone no matter their gender, race, orientation, status, finances, appearance, mentality or any other characteristic deserves to be treated as an equal.  Each person in their own way is an expression of God, Great Spirit, or Infinite Intelligence.  And it is up to the individual to decide how they identify!

Doctors, Lawyers, or parents do not have the right to impose their interpretations on any other person.  Now they can and will offer their expertise, but it is still up to the individual to take that information and do with it what they will.  Even a child 3-6 years old can tell their parents how they feel.

The parent can then provide opportunity for the child to explore their feelings, and with love and support the child will fulfill their destiny.  And for those individuals who have suppressed these feelings for decades it is never too late to give yourself permission to be yourself!!  Ultimately, Love is the answer to every question.

I encourage those with doubts or questions to explore their feelings by looking deep within the heart.  The only way to know for sure is to try different gender role expressions.  When you arrive at a conclusion it will feel right.  Of course, this is for the moment because life is filled with moments and this feeling may change, although the wiring of the brain is fixed at birth.  Life is an exercise in discovery and forgiveness.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity             Free eBooks

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Transgender and The Age of Aquarius

This blog is about terminology, identity, and transition.  The entire world is in Transition in many ways, so it is time we revisited Transgender, Gender Identity, and Sexual Orientation so that everyone understands the meaning of certain words and concepts that put life into perspective.  First and foremost it is important to understand that gender and sex are different things and have multiple meanings.

Gender is your self-concept of who you are man, woman, transgender, androgynous or other.  Each individual is born with this, but is not aware of it till the ages of 3-6.  If a discrepancy is perceived then this awareness is often suppressed or denied, however this is now changing, children are coming out and telling parents who are actually respecting their concerns.

Cisgender is a term that specifically means “not-transgender”, and is used to mean genetic girl (GG) or genetic boy (GB), a person with a matching gender identity and physical sex who has never questioned their gender.  Since transgender persons have a label we feel it only fair for others to have one too.

Transgender is a person appearing or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, such as a transsexual or habitual crossdresser.  This term is an umbrella term to include the entire community of individuals who cross gender boundaries on a consistent basis.  For more on terminology I cover it extensively at this link.

Sexual Orientation is also hard wired at birth and does not change, although many people now days are bisexual or pansexual meaning they are open to the individual’s personality and not so concerned with physical sex.  A homosexual is attracted to their same sex and will not consider being with the opposite sex, just as a heterosexual is only interested in the opposite sex.  With Transgender individuals these definitions get blurry, so it is up to the individual to identify.  Make no assumptions because each person is different and may change their mind from time to time, especially if they are young and exploring.  The term sex can also mean physical or biological sex, amongst other things.

Mass consciousness is shifting due to the era we are entering, The Age of Aquarius. The traits of the Aquarian Age person is that of being bisexual (pansexual) and androgynous which explains much of the trans-revolution we are experiencing today!   We are moving from the end of the Piscean era (money, power, and control) to the new era of Aquarian.  I have spoken of this in other blogs and find that this explains much of what I have been experiencing.  (A great article that explains the shift from Pisces to Aquarius is found at this link.)

Does this mean I was not to transition?  Of course not!  This is the purpose of these times and my life is a mirror of the greater whole just as your life is!  Your path is up to you and if you have questions I am happy to assist!  Please visit the website below and explore the Gender Learning Center.  It goes into gender at length as well as sexual orientation and the different aspects of each of these.  The eBook “Sex and Sexuality” is available free on this website and is an extensive look at gender, sex, orientation, sexuality, and more.  The website below lists gender and spiritual information in several formats -video, powerpoint, written, quiz, and eBook, so you can find what works best for your learning method.

The first step in loving someone is not judging them, and seeing beyond the outer appearance.  The second step is getting to know them and the third is following your heart to a deep friendship or more relationship.  It is time we let go of money, power, and control and embrace love, unity, brotherhood, and integrity.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

 

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Medically Necessary?

What exactly does this mean?  I posit that it is a very dangerous term being slung around, at, and by the transgender community.  I ask you to consider the ramifications of using this phrase.

In the transgender/transsexual world the treatment for Gender Incongruency or Gender Dysphoria is to transition from one gender role to the other including surgically altering both primary and secondary sexual characteristics.  This includes for MtoF, Facial Feminization Surgery (FFS), Breast Augmentation (Breast implants), and GRS/SRS (Genital Reassignment Surgery/Sexual Reassignment Surgery).  For FtoM, the surgeries include, Breast reduction/reconstruction, Hysterectomy, Metoidioplasty with urethral lengthening, Scrotoplasty with testicular implants, and Vaginectomy.  And this is list does not include all possible surgeries, for instance other cosmetic surgeries could also be included.

The question is… does the above surgery fall into the “Medically Necessary” box?  And I would have to say it depends on which model of medicine you follow.  It also depends on your Spiritual beliefs and understandings.  The body you were given at birth is a gift, plain and simple.  What you do with your gift is up to you; or your parents more realistically, at least to the age of 16 (18 in some locations).

Each person is perfect in the eyes of God!  If birth defects are present it means they are meant to be there for the benefit of the individual and the people involved – family, medical professionals, friends, etc.  It is an opportunity to express who you are, to learn and to grow (expand this self).

Would it be right to surgically change this body to conform to societal “norms”?  Do we really have to stay within the gender binary?  Is this not the point of being transgender in the first place?  Meaning there is no binary and in fact it is a gender spectrum.  How an individual expresses their gender and sexuality is a personal statement of either non-conformity or conformity.  There are many factors involved, however ultimately this is simply a fact of individuality.  There is no right or wrong!

“Medically Necessary” is a phrase used by the insurance and medical community to substantiate surgically altering the body or not.  Is it really medically necessary to surgically alter the body?  To whom is it necessary and for what purpose?  Is being Transgender or Transsexual a life threatening medical disease?  Based on past medical precedent surgery is used to correct the bodies function to maintain life.  It is also used for cosmetic reasons to make the body more attractive.

More on this topic tomorrow!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity    Free eBooks

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Man, I Feel Like a Woman

Do you feel like a man or like a woman?  What is a certain gender supposed to feel like?  How do you know?  I realize that most cisgender people have not considered these questions, but for a transgender or transsexual individual it is of constant concern.  Gender incongruency is something ~98% of the population can’t even fathom.  Consider the possibility the concept of gender as taught in the schools is inaccurate?

First understand the difference between sex and gender.  Sex is determined by the parts between the legs and gender is determined by the parts between the ears.  At least this is the modern or current understanding by science. Consider the possibility that each person is here in this world for a purpose and they have chosen the roles they are to live before they are even born.

What if in fact gender is determined by consciousness, the Source Field which surrounds the body and makes up everything in this world?  What if no one has a gender until they acquire one?  Much like sexual orientation it must be discovered by the individual.  I cannot tell my brother that he is gay or straight or if he is man or woman.  These are things he must discover.  Life is a discovery!  And we are explorers.

The prevalent teaching about God, Great Spirit, Universal Mind, Infinite Intelligence (or whatever you choose to call this energy) is that it has no sex or gender.  Eastern philosophies have known this for centuries and slowly the western philosophies are accepting that God is not a man sitting on a throne up in heaven.  Our philosophies are merging, especially here in the USA where we are surrounded by both all the time.  A new understanding is emerging and I call it Oneness.  We are all One.

The idea I present here today is that God is all there is and since God is all, so are we.  This means that no one has a gender or a sex in reality!  Those things only exist in the reality we call life on earth.  We are indeed all androgynous beings of light!  You may have seen this image presented before as alien life, for instance in the movie Cocoon (1985) or in episodes of Star Trek and in multiple instances in the media.  Everything is energy.

I mention the idea of androgyny here because I feel this is the truth of nature.  I believe that hetero and homo sexuality are creations of the human mind or the mind of man.  This goes for the concept of man or woman also.  How do you know what a man or woman feels like?  You do not know any more than anyone else does!  Just because you seem to have been born male or female does not mean you know what a man or woman feels like. It is what you say it is.

The core of our being is pansexual androgyny, meaning we are characterized by the potential for aesthetic attraction, romantic love and/or sexual desire for people, regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.  And we are neither men nor women, but a combination of both to varying degrees across a spectrum.  In some individuals this can shift back and forth as well.  You will define it as is comfortable for you.

In the end you feel like YOU.  Accept this feeling and get comfortable with it; it is all you will ever have in this lifetime.  No matter what you change on the outside, the inner core remains the same.  The experience will change as this is the point of the material world.  Enjoy the ride, act with authenticity, and live with pride!  This is your role in life and it is mine.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity    Free eBooks

 

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Sex and Sexuality Revisited

Transitions blog offers a reminder today about an eBook available at no cost on this website.  Sex and Sexuality, One Woman’s Journey of Discovery is a part of Unity in Gender Diversity’s growing set of spiritual materials.  It is about using sex, sexuality, gender and the attractive aspects of self to discover Truth.  Hormones, Gender Identity, Sexual Orientation, Jesus Christ, and Relationships are among other aspects explored in an effort to deepen human understanding.  The author’s own personal story is offered as an example of what the transgender journey consists of, because I find that by sharing stories we get a deeper understanding of each other.  This book is designed to inspire a closer look at who you really are.  The significance of all relationships, as well as the meaning of sexuality, and so much more are discovered.   I invite you to take a journey of discovery!

The eBook is directed to those who are ready to move beyond the body and realize Divine nature, although anyone can come away from reading this a more educated, entertained, and enlightened individual.

Features to consider are: It is an eBook, easy to download, short and easy to read in a few hours, wastes no paper (easily printable), chapters are linked, direct links to website, No Cost and it is instantly available for download in PDF.

The benefits you receive by reading it: A transgender story to relate with, offers great pictures and graphics in color, learn about the transgender journey, understand your body better, get to know your inner-self better, become a better person, enjoy sex more, not just sex but the entire relationship, improve all your relationships!

Please share Sex and Sexuality, One Woman’s Journey of Discovery with anyone you think would benefit from this eBook.  It is a great way to educate friends, family or employers to the Transgender Journey.  Use it as a coming out tool.  Ultimately it is about Love – loving yourself by allowing others to love you!!  For more on Love please read the other eBooks offered.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Variety Is The Spice Of Life

Perspective is as diverse as the observer.  Each individual is unique on to themself.  And with that said consciousness also tends to group with like perspectives attracting like.  Thus we have Tennis Clubs, Christian bookstores, and Alcoholics Anonymous.  Gender and Sexuality are no different.  Those of like mind tend to socialize together with each person adding their own unique perspective.

Gender Identity is one’s own personal, inner perspective of who they are in terms of gender, i.e. man, woman, or other.  Gender is best described as a spectrum or scale.  Just as a rainbow has many colors, shades and grades so does gender.  This also works for sexual orientation, while physical sex is more concrete, however even this is a spectrum too.  Human beings are complex creatures indeed!

When a child is born the doctor looks between the legs and declares male, female or gee I don’t know!  It is not till DNA chromosome and other medical testing is done does the doctor know if the child is truly male, female or intersex.  The external genitalia are sometimes ambiguous, or not fully developed.  The genetic, physical and mental traits this child is born with are the filter through which they see the world – their perspective!  As this child grows into adulthood the filter is constantly being shaped and polished by the world.  The amazing fact is that it is less the world outside this person that shapes them than it is the individual’s responses, reactions, and thoughts.

The important factor to understand and always remember is that each person is individual and offers something unique to every situation.  It is your job as an individual to listen and learn who this person is and then honor them for the uniqueness they represent.  Accept them for their perspective and refrain from pushing yours on them.  This is a free will society so you are certainly free to offer your perspective and in fact you are obligated to do so, however whether and what others do with this perspective is entirely up to them.

Some may see you as a crossdressing gay male, others as transgender woman, all while you identify as a transsexual.  Others may simply think that you are crazy.  Each person will see you as they choose and understand.  This does not change who you are, although it may have you questioning who you are, which is a good thing, because part of the human experience is constantly questioning reality.

One last point here is groups that think alike can sometimes have beliefs that seem opposed to other groups.  If some believe that chromosomes and genitalia determine a person’s gender then it is their right to believe that.  It is other group’s obligation to share their perspective so that each individual can more intelligently determine which group they are aligned with.  This is not about right or wrong, because that does not exist.  It is about expressing individual uniqueness in a way that is constructive to the greater whole of society and life on earth.  We all know that variety is the spice of life!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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The Law of Gender Revisited

We are revisiting the 7 Universal Laws which I first blogged about a year ago.  These are vital to understanding the Universe and working with life, instead of against it.

There are 7 Universal Laws that apply equally to all things in this universe.  The sacred teachings of all traditions touch on these Universal Laws in some way.  To better understand these laws and how to apply these to our lives the next seven blogs will be a countdown of 7 Universal Laws.  Knowing the law is one thing, applying this law is another thing altogether.  Add these tools to your notebook so that the transition journey is all the more fulfilling.

Tania Kotsos in The Seven Universal Laws Demystified lists the seventh law as,

The Law of Gender: “Gender is in everything; everything has its Masculine and Feminine Principles”. The last of the seven Universal Laws is evident throughout creation in the so-called opposite sexes found not only in human beings but also in plants, minerals, electrons and magnetic poles to name but a few. Everything and everyone contains both the masculine and feminine elements. Among the outward expressions of Feminine qualities are love, patience, intuition and gentleness and of Masculine qualities are energy, self-reliance, logic and intellect. Know that within every woman; lay all the latent qualities of a man and within every man those of a woman. When you know this you will know what it means to be complete.”

Many people would consider this law to include the duality of nature, however this law is about gender only and duality is considered in a different law.  This law is about the whole and the aspects of that whole.  To express gender fully one must embrace both masculine and feminine energy.  The fullness of being contains both.

Let us consider this in regards to people.  A man has both energies and expresses masculine energy primarily.  Situations will arise that he will need to express feminine energy, for instance while caring for children.  In an emergency situation where people are injured and swift action is needed to save lives and respond to environmental stresses the man will need both masculine energy and feminine energy.  The injured need the feminine energy of caring and compassion while the swift action and problem solving skills of masculinity will also be necessary.  Without both he is not going to be as effective in his response.  A woman in the same situation has the same energies at her disposal, but will most likely tackle the situation differently.  It is simply a matter of using the same energies differently.

Society needs to get over its identification with men are this way and woman that.  There are no rules, unless you make them or accept the rules others offer you!  Allow these energies to flow naturally through you and know that all is well.

I will point out here that gender identity is how the brain is wired and follows the same Law of Gender.  Transgender individuals are wired such that the traditional male/masculine or female/feminine is reversed.  There is nothing “wrong” however; it merely is what it is.  Each person is comfortable expressing themself in one fashion or the other.  The physical body need not dictate how the individual expresses themself.  The important thing is that each individual feels the freedom to allow the Law of Gender to express through them as it needs to.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

 

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The Gender Sexual Connection

Sex: The physical sexual organs, what is between the legs. This can change due to sexual reassignment surgery; includes male, female and intersex.

Gender: Separate and different from an individual‘s physical sex or sexual orientation (hetero, homo, bi, or asexual), it is an individual‘s perception of the inner self as man, woman or some combination of both, transgender.

Operating from the above definitions we now know that gender and sex are very different and yet from experience we also know that they are intimately connected.  How do we work out this connection?  Is it meaningful?

Sexual Orientation is the trait we give the most attention because it involves others.  Who are you attracted to?  Why?  Does gender really have anything to do with this attraction?  How important is appearance?  What about body parts?  Some people are turned on by toes and if this is the case does it matter what is between their legs?   What if ears are a turn on, the same question applies.  You are probably saying that what it leads to is very important and this is where the genitalia come in.  I agree completely.

In the transgender world we offer a contradiction to this process.  Our parts do not match the majority of the human race.  So do we have GRS to conform or is it more practical than that, simply to enjoy sex in a manner which supports our mental functions?  Many transgender women have surgery just because they cannot bear having male genitalia.  It is like having a large growth on your body which causes you distress.  It could just as well be a tumorous growth!  In this case having surgery is medically necessary, as much as any person with a tumorous growth.  When the result is a happy well adjusted individual post op it is hard to argue against GRS/SRS.

“As an effective treatment for a specific mental disorder, sex reassignment surgery is as deserving of public funding as any other psychiatric treatment.” states Dr. Ray Blanchard, head of the Clinical Sexology Program at the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. (Egale Canada ©2011)

“The reported 68%-86% overall success rates for sex reassignment surgery must be viewed cautiously; the lack of long-term follow-up studies makes these statistics misleading. There is evidence suggesting that some gender dysphoric patients benefit primarily from sex reassignment surgery. Most such patients, however, are secondary transsexuals who can benefit from various modes of psychotherapy. Sex reassignment surgery should only be considered as the last resort for a highly select group of diagnosed gender dysphoric patients. As physicians learn new ways to diagnose and treat transsexualism, either sex reassignment surgery will be abandoned as a routine treatment modality or new predictive variables for choosing suitable patients for sex reassignment surgery will be established.” (Lothstein, Am J Psychiatry 1982; 139:417-426)  The above quote is a bit out dated now and this author finds it interesting that its prediction is far from correct.  SRS has grown in popularity as surgical techniques have been perfected.  It is now the best treatment known for severe gender dysphoria.  The question remains, what if the dysphoria is mild?  What constitutes mild?   This is between the patient and their counselor or therapist.

The final point or question I wish to raise is, does sexual orientation figure into ones decision to have surgery or not?  From the clinical perspective, the answer would be no.  Dysphoria is separate from sexual behavior and needs to be treated regardless of sexual orientation.  The practical side of the issue is a personal one.  Transsexuals often start off in same sex relationships and to have surgery would destroy the identities associated with the relationship, so unless both individuals are flexible the relationship ends.  This is even the case in heterosexual relationships since it would be homosexual after surgery.  Those relationships that do survive often forgo sex altogether.

One of the most difficult aspects of the transgender journey is relationships and the changes they must go through along the way.  The losses are often heart breaking, but this is not necessarily a bad thing.  It can lead to more loving and authentic relationships!  The road has many potholes, so it is best to proceed with caution.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Gender Diversity

What does this mean?  The title of this website is Unity in Gender Diversity so it may help to have a concept as to what this means.  In this blog I will break it down into each component so you have a deep understanding of the message behind this title.

First of all, Unity is self explanatory.  It means Oneness and interconnectedness of all things.  You are intimately connected to every aspect of your life like a bubble of sea foam on the surf is connected to the ocean.  Separation is a concept, not a reality.  The reality is Unity.

Gender is also a concept which has been created by society.  The reality is gender has several aspects some of which are fluid and some are not.  Sexual expression or human sex includes – male, female, and intersex.  However sex is NOT gender!  Gender is an individual‘s perception of the inner self as man, woman, or some combination of both, transgender.  Gender and sex are hardwired into the brain at birth, however what is not hardwired is social conditioning and this accounts for much of our behavior.  (For more in depth explanation, please read – Sex and Sexuality)

At birth each child is labeled as male or female and in a few cases intersex.  So society treats this child according to certain unspoken guidelines, boys are treated with privilege, while girls are pampered and the intersex child is often treated as a mistake or disease.  The fact about intersex children is simply that they are a natural variance.  There is nothing “wrong” with these children!  Unfortunately what often happens is the physician, family or both decide what is right instead of allowing the individual to choose when they are old enough to make this decision.

The gender rules are constantly changing so I admit that the above description is only one perspective.  The point I make here is that gender is a social construct layered upon the natural, hardwired gender of the individual.  The way I see it is simply that I was born with male sex and a female brain, while my social conditioning was male the hardwired gender is female.  There is nothing “wrong” with this, it just is.

I do contend that nature knows best so this means I am transgender!  I am not man or woman, I am a combination of both.  The funny thing about gender is that it occurs on a spectrum like a rainbow so very few individuals are fully man or woman, most people are somewhere in between.  When combined with sex and a few other factors our self image emerges.  As you grow this self image may change and thus the title of this blog, Transitions Blog.

The diversity aspect is also somewhat apparent, so I will simply say that the world is a rainbow.  Each and every aspect that makes us human comes in a spectrum and thus the infinite expressions of being a Human Being.  Even twins are not the same although they are more alike than any other humans.
When combined, Unity in Gender Diversity, means that we are all interconnected human beings with diverse gender identities and social presentations.  Just as snowflakes are all similar but different, Human Beings are too!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Destiny Fulfilled

This blog is a continuation of the previous blog titled Destiny.  Gender transition is not a conscious choice like most people think of it and neither is homosexuality, pedophilia, autism or any other condition.  These are choices made before birth that must manifest and be worked through.  It takes your entire life to fully experience these gifts and they affect everyone you meet, even if only for a few minutes.  The affect can be positive or negative, that is up to the individual you meet.  If you are positive and giving of your talents, then the meeting will be positive.  All Universal Laws apply! 

The message I wish to convey in this blog is a continuation of the previous blog and it is very simple.  Even though transgender is a choice before birth, it is not something that can be ignored.  It cannot be made to “go away”, it is not something to “cure” and it is not a disease!  Gender Identity is what it is and the hard part is that it is not listed on your birth certificate or in any way known to anyone at birth. 

Gender identity must be discovered over time and with introspection.  The child of 3-6 years old can usually tell others what it is, and sometimes if ignored must be rediscovered later in life, usually at puberty or much later in life.  Most children have a gender identity that matches their physical sex, so gender is often over looked or just assumed.  However in about 3% of the population the gender identity and physical sex do not match as in my case. 

I was too scared and confused to know what was going on, so the issue was not addressed.  My life was in full swing by the time I figured it out as a senior in high school, so I ignored the feelings and sometimes overwhelming urge to express my feminine nature.  To release this energy I crossdressed for 30 years and finally I faced the feelings I was having and transitioned.  It was not something that I could ignore.  It is not a choice, because the choice was made long before birth.  Please understand this when you are dealing with anyone who is coping with this condition.

Transgender, and any other condition as mentioned above affect the whole family and each person involved in this person’s life.  So the one’s closest to this individual must transition along with the transgender individual.  This is often a soul agreement made before birth as mentioned in the last blog.  The opportunity for growth here is phenomenal and must not be ignored.  This is a divine gift!  Embrace it and work it out with everyone you love.  Be not afraid to be yourself!  As hard as it may seem the rewards are worth every effort filled, painful and joyful moment.  Remember one thing above all else, Love is the way…

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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Destiny

A little known fact is that your brain is wired from birth with gender identity and sexual orientation, among many other traits.  Just as a computer is programmed to operate in a certain way, so are you.  The operating system works right out of the box, just as your human traits are pre-programmed.  Just because these things are pre-programmed does not mean they are set in stone.  The program is changeable!

What is not discussed or taught in schools today is that you programmed yourself before you were born.  The reason this is not taught is because it is not provable, but then many aspects of life are taken on faith, so I am not asking you to believe this, just consider the possibility and do your research.   (I have found many sources to confirm this wisdom)

Everything happens for a reason, even chaos!  Random events are an illusion much like a slight of hand trick done by a magician.  Consider the possibility that your gender identity and sexual orientation where chosen before you were born when you made certain agreements with other souls such as your parents, partner, and siblings.  Each person will have different agreements and it is not important to know what exactly they are till the moment you honor them. 

By listening to your inner voice these agreements are honored often without your conscious knowledge.  I don’t buy the story offered by the Buddhists that transgender is the result of past transgressions, in the form of Karma, although if that works for you then it can be one explanation. 

I believe we choose to be transgender so that we can experience both worlds and possibly transcend gender all together.  Our souls are genderless and sexless just as Prime Creator.  This is the reason that many Native tribal cultures honor transgender or two-spirits as Shaman and esteemed members of the tribe.  They have a close connection to spirit!  Each person is growing Spiritually through the events of their lives here in the 3rd dimension.  The challenges we choose before birth are the stairs so to speak that raise us to the next level!   

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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SRS/GRS Treatment Planning

Where does SRS/GRS fit into the treatment plan for Gender Incongruity(GI)/Gender Identity Disorder(GID)?  The terms GRS (Genital Reassignment Surgery) and GI (Gender Incongruity) will be used from here on to make this flow easier.  The diagnosis has been made and you are now in therapy, so what next?

The answer to this question is really up to you and your therapist or physician.  There are no rules here so I recommend doing your research and getting to know the options as well as getting to know yourself a little better. Your therapist should be helpful in guiding you in the decision of whether you need GRS and where to place it in your treatment plan.  It is not their decision to make though, it is yours.  Please understand that you are responsible for finding your way to relief.  The professionals are there to help and provide guidance.

The next step is to decide if you have enough funding to get the surgery soon or will it be years before you can afford it?  If you have money or the resources to get it, then you have several options.  Even if you don’t have the money now, you have options.  Here they are.  Get an orchiectomy right at the beginning (if you are FtoM – hysterectomy) so you do not have to take hormone blockers.  For FtoM it just makes the testosterone that much more effective.  Any cosmetic surgeries desired can be done later in the transition as is convenient.  After fully transitioning and living in the chosen gender and knowing you are happy, get the full GRS.  This option makes the most sense to me, however most doctors are uneasy with this choice, probably because they are not the ones with discomfort. (Reproduction desires need to be addressed also, since this option sterilizes)

The next option is to get hormone treatment and electrolysis done and after going full time as your chosen gender, have GRS done and leave cosmetic surgery to last.  The reasoning here is financial and basically goes in order of importance and cost.  This seems to be the most popular option chosen, for obvious reasons.  Start where you are and take a new step each day toward your ideal. 

Those with lots of money sometimes get carried away with the surgeries and do all kinds of physical alteration without fully embracing the changes emotionally.  From my experience this is a difficult path and somewhat backwards.  Gender transition is an emotional process and the surgery is meant to assist in the assimilation into society.  Where the surgery is very important, so is taking the time to learn what it means to be a woman when you were raised as a man, or vice versa.  Jumping in with the surgery can lead to disaster when you have changed your appearance and not your self concept. 

When I first started my journey one of the questions I asked my therapist is where does GRS fit into my treatment? (I already knew I wanted it, and most of us do)  He told me it does not matter if you get it early or later, the important part is to break down the false persona you created to fit into society and allow your natural self to emerge.  The surgery will re-enforce your feelings and make it easier for you, but does not really matter to a person who will never see between your legs!  GRS is for your own satisfaction in knowing your body reflects your self image.   

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity     Discover Sex and Sexuality click here

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Are You Man Or Woman?

Do you feel like a man or like a woman?  What is a certain gender supposed to feel like?  How do you know?  I realize that most cisgender people have not considered these questions, but for a transgender or transsexual individual it is of constant concern.  Gender incongruency is something that ~98% of the population can’t even fathom.  What if the concept of gender as taught in the schools the last 100 years is inaccurate?

First understand the difference between sex and gender.  Sex is determined by the parts between the legs and gender is determined by the parts between the ears.  At least this is the modern or current understanding by science. Consider the possibility that each person is here in this reality for a purpose and they have chosen the roles they are to live before they are even born.

What if in fact gender is determined by consciousness, the field which surrounds the body and everything in creation.  What if no one is born with a gender and instead they acquire it.  Much like sexual orientation must be discovered by the individual.  I cannot tell my brother that he is gay or straight or if he is man or woman.  These are things he must discover.  Life is a discovery!  And we are explorers. 

The prevalent teaching about God or Great Spirit or Universal Mind or Infinite Intelligence (or whatever you choose to call this energy) is that it has no sex or gender.  Eastern philosophies have known this for centuries and in the past few centuries the western philosophies are accepting that God is not a man sitting on a throne up in heaven, some people more than others.  I do not have actual statistics on this, but from what I gather this concept is changing. 

The idea I present here today is that God is all there is and since God is all, so are we.  This means that no one has a gender or a sex in reality!  Those things only exist in this reality we call life on earth.  We are indeed all androgynous beings of light!  You may have seen this image presented before as alien life, for instance in the movie Cocoon (1985) or in episodes of Star Trek and in multiple instances in the media.  Everything is energy.

I mention the idea of androgyny here because I feel this is the truth of nature.  I believe that hetero and homo sexuality are creations of the human mind or the mind of man.  This goes for what makes up a man or woman, male or female also.  How do you know what a man or woman feels like?  You do not, anymore than anyone else does.  Just because you seem to have been born male or female does not mean you know what a man or woman feels like. It is what you say it is.

In the end you feel like YOU.  Accept this feeling and get comfortable with it; it is all you will ever have in this lifetime.  No matter what you change on the outside, the inner core remains the same.  The experience will change and this is the point of the material world anyway.  Enjoy the ride and only act with authenticity in your life.  Live with pride!  This is your role in life and it is mine.

Sequoia Elisabeth 🙂

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Gender Expression

The following quote is from the new eBook coming out next month. 

“A few words about the differences of gender role and gender expression, while they are similar in that they are a choice, they are different in that gender expression is about our outer appearance and gender role is the activities we are involved in.  So wearing make-up and female clothes is a female gender expression, while a female gender role would be cleaning house and babysitting.  I hesitate to include this here as our roles and expressions are getting to be so varied and free.  The old rules are breaking down, so we are seeing women in combat duty now while 20 years ago that was almost unheard of.  Men are cleaning house, washing dishes and babysitting now days too and this does not make them female.  The best way I can put it is that we are integrating now as a society and our roles and gender expressions are much more open.  While a man in a woman’s role or a woman in a man’s role may be questioned, or even ridiculed, more of society is accepting them now.  Gender expression is the area which has less latitude.  In a male dominated society men expressing as woman are questioned far sooner than a woman expressing as a man.  It is assumed that everyone wants to be male!  (Not to imply this is choice.)”

I am sure you have an opinion on this topic and I am curious to hear what you have to say.  Gender expression has slowly gotten more liberated over time.  Just like anything else it goes through cycles.  The world today is shifting from a male dominated society to one that is more balanced and Matriarchal.

If masculine energy is active, feminine energy is passive.  We have both for a reason and right now the balance is shifting!  As much as it seems that there is much to do, take time every day to simply do nothing.  Play relaxing music if you like, but just take a few minutes at least to just sit and listen to the silence.  Get in touch with your feminine energy, the passive side that is soft, easy going, caring, compassionate and smooth.  Let go of the masculine energy or active side.  There is no need to be strong, hard, angular or aggressive right now.  Just relax and feel the peace.  The world needs your Peace, your Passivity and your Silence. 

Gender expression is about what you show the world.  The desire to live an authentic life and feeling free to do so is everyone’s right!  Just because you appear to be man or woman does not make it so.  Just because you act one way or the other does not make it so either!  So how does one know if they are in the right body and gender expression?  They just do.  Gender is an inner feeling or knowing that most of us never question, if you are questioning it then I suggest you visit the website below and discover more.  The next blog will discuss gender role and preview the eBook Sex and Sexuality.  Ta ta till then,

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

 Unity in Gender Diversity

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Transition Journey

So what is transition really?  Ok, so it is a change, but what does that mean?  Yes, change is the most constant force in the Universe!  By transition do we mean a flower blooming?  Or a child growing to an adult?  Maybe, however to make this as simple as we can let’s go with a definition of changing from one state of being to another.  Now let’s get more specific and look at gender identity.  The transition I speak of today is gender transition. 

In a way the transition is not about change at all, but about awareness.  Just being aware of what already is.  The core does not change.  Instead the person moves from ones state of being to another.  Like peeling the layers of an onion the transition journey reveals the deeper realization of self.  This may take a lifetime or it can be done in a few years.  The fact is that individuals are born with a gender identity that is innate.  However it is easy to be mis-lead by appearances.  Getting caught up in societies expectations is so easy with all the roles we have thrust upon us.  

Authentic gender transition is about removing the false persona, male identity for MtoF or female persona for FtoM, which is created to “fit” into the world based on societies expectations.  Removing the veil and allowing our authentic self to emerge is what the journey is all about.  Growing up takes time so transition does not happen overnight, however transition does happen a lot faster than the first time around, unless you are one of the lucky ones who have not allowed the veil to be drawn.  When you start young the false persona is not created, but you still must be aware of your authentic self and make sure this is who you are expressing.  More and more kids are being allowed to transition now days which is a revolution of awakening in this authors opinion. 

Transition is a natural process that really needs no assistance other than deep awareness.  Are you aware of how you feel?  What makes you happy?  Have you walked down that road and deeply enjoyed the journey?  If you are male transitioning to female then dress up and see how it feels.  Know as much as you can about the journey. It is sort of like planning a trip from New York to Shangri-La. In order to get to Shangri-La one must leave New York.  

If you need a tour guide then by all means, please get help.  Discovering the aspects of you that are false can be a long road and not an obvious one.  The most important aspect of the transition journey is to be authentic and natural.  Authenticity involves following your bliss, and doing that which brings Joy to your heart.  Let go of any desire to play a role or attempt to fit other people’s expectations.  It is not about being black or white (male or female), but about showing your true colors!

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Self Identity

For those with Gender Identity issues understanding who you are is indeed a life long journey.  When you ask that profound question of “who am I?”, take a few minutes and feel the answer.  You may hear words, but instead of listening, simply feel. 

You are the only person who can truly know who you are.  No one can tell you although they may try.  This blog is about the journey of discovery in which one explores the inner depths of their own psyche and beyond.  As you may remember from earlier blogs, the mind is simply a tool used to interface with this environment, it is not who you are! 

Neither is the body “who you are”.   The body is simply a vessel which carries us about and to experience this world in which we live.  Our body has 5 senses, our mind has 6 and together they make up a complex system of collecting information about life.  Being human is all about the experience of life from every perspective and aspect.  So what does it mean to be a woman or a man?

This is the question that leads many gender variant individuals to therapy.  The odd thing is that most people would simply say “this is who I am” while looking in the mirror at their body, and really have no clue as to whether they feel like a man or woman!  You feel the way you do, so how do you know that is like a man or woman?  Who decided those parameters? 

The transgender journey is largely about accepting who you are, how you feel and the behaviors you are compelled to participate in.  Part of identity is self expression and this is often not a conscious decision, although sometimes it is.  For a man to have the desire to wear pantyhose or other woman’s clothing can be very confusing and frustrating.  The idea of being a woman trapped in a man’s body for me seemed absurd.  This question depends on how you define self. 

You are you and the rest is simply how you are experiencing the world.  The choice is yours how you experience the world and yet it is NOT.  It is like you have made the choice to get on a particular train (born male, female or intersex) and now you are having that experience.  The current choice comes in your attitude about the ride.  Are you going to enjoy it?  Will you jump off the train?  Will you feel sorry for yourself because you choose the “wrong” train?  Have you ever started on a trip and then forget where you were going before you got there?  Then you end up standing in the middle of the sidewalk wondering how you got there?  This happens more than we are willing to admit, especially in life’s journey. 

The next step is to choose again and move on with a renewed vigor for our new goal.  Happy to just be alive!  Paying attention to every little feeling and thought.  Not judging them but just noticing them and using them as a guide to our next step.  …Row…Row…Row…your…boat…gently…down…the…stream

🙂  Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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Possible Challenges

The most difficult aspect of transition is probably going to be different for each person, however I will attempt to make a few generalizations here so that you will be aware of possible challenges along the road.   If you have an insight into possible challenges in transition feel free to comment below. 

The transition from one sex to the other can be a very emotional one fraught with trials and tribulations. Or it can be a simple process of shifting the physical body to better represent the inner gender identity.  It is important to realize here that gender is fixed in your brain before you are born.  The physical sex appears to be fixed but in fact can be altered to match the gender identity fairly easily. 

What happens to most transgender individuals is that they are conditioned by society to conform to the role determined by the organs between their legs.  Sex organs are for two purposes, procreation and enjoyment.  It is no accident that procreation is fun.  This assures the perpetuation of the species.  Whoopee 😉  The mental aspects of sexual attraction and role play are complex.  Sexual orientation like gender identity is fixed at birth, so it is the melding of society’s views with personal views that make this complex. 

The transition journey is one of releasing society’s views and living an authentic life which is true to your inner feelings and identity.  This begins with acceptance of both yourself and others.  If someone no longer wishes to be your friend then allow them that space and focus on accepting your natural self. 

In order to replace a glass of orange juice with apple juice you must first empty out all the orange juice.  This process creates a void which is to be filled by the apple juice.  The space is filled at all times, so as one leaves another fills the void.  Transition is much like this.  For a Male to Female transition as the male persona is released this creates a void for the natural persona to fill in.  Substituting another false persona, say of a certain female role is no better than the false male persona.  The point is to allow the natural persona to develop as it would have if the body parts had matched from birth. 

The best advice for allowing this process freedom to evolve is to let go and release any judgment.  Stop trying to please others and simply go with the flow.  Pay close attention to what brings you Joy.  This is best described as a feeling of contentment and gentle peace within your body, centered in your heart. 

For those with an overactive mind, release is a process of patience and persistence.  Make all thoughts OK while relaxing and focusing in the general moment.  If specific thoughts creep in and they likely will, consciously release them.  Say to yourself, “I release any thoughts of how my life should be.  I am open to my inner most gifts and allow them to express naturally.” 

I wish you Peace and Joy on your journey of Love.

😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Unity in Gender Diversity

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