Oneness Ministry

Time is of the Essence

by Sequoia Elisabeth

There is no time like the present! In fact there is no time but the present. Are you listening? The present time is the only time that exists, so are you making use of your time? Transition is one of those things that takes time. The physical transition alone will take at least three years. Hormones take that long to reach the peak effects even though changes will be occurring during the whole process.

Planning your transition in advance has many advantages and can actually save you time in the long run. The biggest mistake that people make when transitioning genders is to get into a hurry. Don’t take my word for it, talk to others who have transitioned. Relax, take a deep breath and let go for a minute. Do an evaluation of where you are right now. If you are still questioning whether transitioning is right for you then I would highly recommend talking to a gender specialist. Therapy can help you go deeper into who you are and the path that you have chosen.

Notice I said chosen, because your life’s journey was chosen before you were born! It is your job now to discover that path and follow it to the best of your ability. This often takes on the appearance of you making a string of good decisions or possibly bad ones that lead you to where you are today. Whether they are good or bad does not matter. If you are a woman in a male body then it is best you do something about it. The same goes for men in female bodies. The sooner the better! Let me stress that once more, THE SOONER THE BETTER. Ask for help if you are having difficulty facing this.

We now have children facing these issues at an ever increasing rate. This is great because the transition can be made complete when puberty is guided in the appropriate direction. The right way to do this does not exist as an absolute. The path I recommend is to have the child evaluated and after they insist they are transgender for two years solid the next step is hormone suppression. Put puberty on hold till they are sixteen or a legal adult and then they can make the proper decisions from there. Allow gender expression that suits the individual, not that meets the expectation of society.

I have a planning guide on my website that can be used to plan your transition. Come up with a plan in advance. Make sure you have money and maintain a source of income, because this gets expensive. The electrolysis can be as expensive as the surgery so be aware of that. The planning guide goes into specifics so I will not do so here.

Be aware that time can be your friend when it is used as such. Even if you have postponed this transition for many years, once you make the decision to transition, make a plan, and take one step at a time. I wish you a blessed journey!

Transgender Perspectives

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Today we are going to focus on Transition from the perspective of a Transsexual. Most of the people I talk to have difficulty understanding what it is like being transgender or transsexual. First of all the terminology can be a little tricky because there is no set standard. I have a list on my website that will provide more insight to the terminology. Just click here to see the list of terms.

I speak from my heart and from my own perspective. I chose this journey for the experience of transitioning from male to female, to experience Truth, and as an expression of infinite possibilities. (Your soul chooses its path before you are born, you choose every aspect of your life including your parents, siblings and friends, through agreement) There is a quote that I just love by W. Clement Stone, “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” I have always been a woman, although I did not always realize it. I originally believed as most of you, because I am in a male body, I must be a man. It does not work that way! We are not our bodies!! I like to think of it in terms of cars. You were given a car at birth and spent years getting used to using it, caring for it and identifying with it. Can you imagine having a mismatched car all your life? What if you alter this car to match your inner self? When you “die”, you are simply given a new car! For those who think they can cheat the system, think again, suicides go back to the very beginning and start all over, so embrace your gifts because you have many.

The fact that my first car was a convertible ’69 Pontiac Firebird is not a coincidence! I loved being able to put my top down, be free and show off my sexy body. When I was in my car I forgot my physical body and could just be me. I used to curse my human body and hate the fact that I am so different than everybody else. Not only am I a woman in a male body, but this body has been supersized! I stand 6’11” now and in college I stood an easy 7’. At one time I weighed 310 lbs. A petite woman I am not! It took many years to realize that this difference is my greatest gift. I sit here and laugh at the absurdity of the whole affair, and yet I can sense larger forces at work.

Mary 1950s

I am told that I pass well now, and I certainly feel totally feminine. My Mom was tall too so I use her as a role model. She worked as a model for a short while and I must say she is one of the most beautiful women I have seen. The pictures here of my mother are when she was a young adult. To be like her is indeed the ultimate honor! May you rest in Peace Mom.

Life is full of gifts and when we look at it from this perspective a whole life of Joy opens up. Driving against traffic is suicide, so stop! Let go and Flow with life, be yourself and know that as you Love yourself, so will others.

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Mary 1953

Mirrors of Friendship

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition is long and sometimes arduous journey so it is very important to treasure each moment of Joy and each success along the path. Doing this alone is certainly possible, but it is when we have someone who cares to share our experiences with, the Joy grows exponentially.

Often when we decide to begin the journey we are in an intimate relationship which becomes our first challenge. Will they accept us? The real question is do we accept ourselves? The only way to know if you accept yourself is how others treat you. I know this may seem backward or strange, but this is just how it works. Understand that you are all there is, all else is a reflection of who you are.

I call this the mirror principle and our lives are often like living in a house of mirrors, it can get pretty confusing. This being said let’s get back to our partner who is having difficulty with our coming out news. Each person in your life has their own vision of you, as a reflection of themselves! Be gentle with your expectations of them and this is where the golden rule comes in. Do on to others as you would have done on to you, because they are you! We are One.

When you think about this it explains a lot about the reactions and treatment you get from others. Those who understand are supportive and loving. Those who believe themselves to be like you are going to be supportive and understanding (and vice versa). Join a support group! The internet is the place to look and if you need help, contact me I am here for you. The time spent with others on a similar journey will help you to better understand yourself and you have the opportunity to grow self love. The Love you give is the Love you will receive! Not only do support groups offer information you will need along the journey such as where to go to get the things you need, what to look out for along the path and who can help you, they show you who you are! I find this to be the greatest gift anyone can offer you! 🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

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A Moral Journey

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The transgender journey is not a moral issue, or is it? Morality is related to doing the right thing based on social norms. These boundaries are determined by societal acceptance and so they are constantly changing. For me this can be a difficult issue since there is no right or wrong, only what you decide to do. When we make things right and wrong we automatically set ourself up for feeling bad, because someone is going to be wrong, this is the way of our dualistic world. So what if I told you that you are always right? You are right in your own mind and from your perspective. When considered like this no one is ever wrong. There is no reason for anyone to feel bad for being wrong.

The morality of being transgender is a mute point really since it only really matters what you think of you, not what anyone else thinks. I concede that knowing you are supported and even loved by others is feedback we all benefit from, but just because someone supports you does this make you moral? I suppose it does if you consider being accepted as being right. So the issue is not about whether being transgender is moral or not it is about whether the way you treat a transgender person is moral. Are you treating this person with the respect you would give your grandparents? Transgender people are no less or more deserving of morality than anyone else and I can speak from my perspective, all we want is to be treated as any other man or woman.

I bring this up because I was discussing moral behavior today and got to thinking about the Transgender journey. Morality is no different for transgender persons than it is for anyone else, we are all human beings and how we treat each other should not include different rules for different groups. It really is quite simple, “Do on to others as you would have done on to you”!

Creative Tools of the Mind

by Sequoia Elisabeth

In developing a Spiritual practice there are several tools that are instrumental in creating an open space for growth. The one I use most is creative visualization and I recommend Shakti Gwain’s book with the same title. I will summarize here so that you can get an idea of how to use this tool.

We are taping in to the power of the imagination by creating a vision of that which we desire. Say you need a new car and so you are visualizing the new car you are desiring, make the vision as real as you can by seeing the shiny gold paint and sleek styling, feeling the soft leather seats and firm steering wheel, and smelling the new car smell and the fresh air blowing in the window as you are driving down a deserted country road. The more real you make the experience the stronger your emotion of joy becomes and the greater the probability of the experience manifesting. Put no limits on the manifestation of this experience, simply hold the feeling of knowing that it is true.

The technique can be used for anything and for instance I used this method to assist my transition from male to female. I still use it often by visualizing my body as I know it is, I can feel my womb and I hold a vision of the rams horns which make up my internal sex organs of the coiled ovaries (the horns), and the head of the ram (my uterus), sits behind the mouth of the ram (my vagina)! I visualize this as often as I remember and it helps to set up a schedule for meditation at least once a day. Use this technique with every aspect of transition, voice, breasts, hair, face, etc.

To energize the visualization place yourself in society interacting with others and if you are so inclined creative visualization works very well in loving relationships and sexual encounters. How many times have you been making love and think of someone else? What happens to this relationship down the road? Be careful how you use visualization and intend that it be in the Highest and Best good of yourself, your partner and everyone everywhere.

The secret to making this work is to ignore what appears to be true and know without a doubt that which is true! Reason with yourself if you like and explain to yourself why you know this is true. When you have a deep experience that pleases you greatly, use your memory to revisit this experience over and over. These are each tools of the mind; imagination, perception, will, reason, memory and intuition. Consider how you use these six tools of the mind and be aware of the possibilities! If we only realized just how powerful we are in creating the life we desire, the world would be a much more joyous place. 🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

MtoF Transtion and what to expect

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The usual course of transition for a MtoF transsexual is to first dress as a woman and to socialize with your peers prior to taking the major step of CHT or Contra-Hormone Therapy. This does not need to be on a full time basis, although it can be. Socializing as a woman is very different than as a man so getting used to that aspect is greatly beneficial in both determining if you desire to progress and gaining the skills necessary to be successful. Many things will come naturally for you such as mannerisms, emotional behavior including your needs and desires, and mental processes. What may not be so natural is movement, social expectations and relationships. Transition is basically the process of breaking down our learned “male” persona and allowing our natural female self to emerge. This will be easier for some, but is a big road block for many of us.

It is important to be patient with the transition process and allow these things to occur naturally, although counseling, feminine coaching, and voice therapy do play an important part. A skilled counselor can guide your path and point out aspects that are not natural if they are not obvious and help you get in touch with your authentic self. The feminine coach is valuable in helping you to get in touch with feminine energy and develop its expression. I must say the first time I felt my feminine energy vs. my masculine energy it was a revelation! Being aware of our body’s energy and what we are projecting is very important. For women to truly be feminine for instance we do not project that energy, we simple center ourselves in it and this simple act will attract others to us. I have posted a link on the gender links page of my website to The Yin Project; I highly recommend her.

Voice therapy is very important also and I suggest that you start this process as soon as possible, even before transitioning if you are planning that far ahead, which most of us do not. I also recommend getting electrolysis started as soon as possible and depending on your age, I recommend doing laser first to clear the dark hairs and let the electrologist focus on the light hairs. Don’t let the electrologist tell you that laser is not permanent because I know that it is from experience. I have a page on this website that goes over the whole process of transition planning, so I would like to stay focused here on what to expect. So expect laser to work and with the proper hormone regimen the face is the only area to be concerned with unless you are unusually hairy and I know that some men are, that is OK (it doesn’t mean anything, unless you say it does, lol).

The hormones do a remarkable job of reducing body hair and stopping male pattern hair loss. Find a doctor who specializes in CHT for transgender/transsexual persons, because doing this yourself or using a doctor with little or no experience is setting yourself up for failure. It can be done on your own, but that is contrary to what this whole journey is about in my opinion, which is to fully and completely experience the transition. Many TG/TS’s want to jump straight to the result and if that was the way it was meant to be then don’t you think that you would have been female from birth? I can hear all the opinions flying as I write this which is great, remember this is from my experience and if you desire a different experience then make it so. More on this subject can be found here. 😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

a Unique Journey

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Today we are going to discuss the significance of gender transition. We are each on our own unique journey and after reading at least 4 books and many, many stories about transition I am amazed at the similarity of the journey. It is like each one of us is a Monarch Butterfly but just have different patterns on our wings. The differences are important but to my eyes they don’t even amount to different species, which might make one woman a Monarch and the next a Morpho butterfly. How could it be that we are so similar? Is it like riding a Cyclone Roller Coaster where each person has a slightly different experience but overall the ride is the same? Or is it simply that we are drawn to those who are like us?

It is a Universal Law that like attracts like, so if you want to see who you are simply look around! Two nights a week I sit in a room with other transgender people discussing the journey and whatever else comes up, so is this a coincidence? I think not! I am with those who are like me and I love it! Why do I love it? Because I love myself! Fifteen years ago I would not be caught dead in a room full of transgender persons, so I feel like I have come a long way.

This journey of Love is filled with miracles and this is one of them. Not that I am in a room of my peers, but that I can Love being in a room of my peers! I must say that I am proud of myself and so happy to have reached this point. Each day is another opportunity to further define who you are, so what will it be? For me it is Love, I am Love. All else I am letting go of and I am still finding out what this “Love” looks like. One thing I have discovered is that it is unconditional and if it is otherwise then it is not Love. It feels good too, in fact it feels so good that I smiling all the time now. If something does not put a smile on my face then I do not need it. Now that is the simple life!

🙂 Sequoia Elisabeth

Connections

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Transitions are really coming into focus for many people these days on many different levels. Even myself who is going through a major transition from Male to Female, is experiencing other transitions also. My Spiritual transition is really peaking now and I feel like my life is totally being re-fashioned. When I sit and what TV, I notice people who are transitioning in many areas of their lives as well. We are changing jobs, careers, going back to school, eating more nutritious foods, changing the way we move around, being more conscious of our consumption, and watching less TV, while spending way more time on the computer or internet to be specific.

Now days my life is centered around my computer which I feel is a good thing and has to do with a sense of connection or oneness I get while online. Five years ago I spent maybe an hour or two online a day and now I spend about eight hours a day online, sometimes more sometimes less. For me to not be online the whole day is really a big deal and means that I am either traveling or doing something major. So what are we really after?

What the internet provides besides the obvious services is a sense of connection as that is what we all crave, a feeling of oneness. The more I evolve the more I enjoy spending time with others and it does not have to be in person, but it does require a two way communication. That has become so easy these days with the computer. I thank you for reading my blog and I truly hope you get something meaningful from all my musings. That is my main purpose to give of myself and my knowledge, to enlighten and bless others!

So think about all the transitions you are going through these days and honor them. Yes, be grateful we have so much opportunity these days. Our lives are changing in a big way right now, and they will probably get more chaotic before they get peaceful, but that is the way of complex systems. We must break the old system down in order to build a new system. We have many more breakdowns to look forward to, so just be aware and know that all is well! The only reason we ever lose anything is so something better can replace it! 😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Transition is a Loving Action

by Sequoia Elisabeth

All transitions consist of change and change is about going from one state or condition to another. So just how does this happen? All change begins with thought, it is expressed through words and manifested with action. Stated backwards it is Be, Do, Have. Be that which you desire, such as peaceful, beautiful, smart, or abundant by doing things that reflect our state of being. Before you know it you have everything you desire.

Take being a famous musician for instance. First we simply be a musician which means we do what it takes to get good at making music. The more we do it and the better we get at being it the more we have of that life. It sounds simple and it really is, but no one said it was easy or quick. Transition can be simple though. How do you feel? Once you realize that you have always been a woman but were born with a male body the process of changing our bodies to match our minds is a step by step process, often completed rather quickly if one has all the resources necessary.

As hard as many have tried we cannot change who we are. It works best to change the body and not mess with the mind as that just does not work, which has been proven over the years by many researchers such as Dr. John Money. I have tried for 30 years to be someone I am not and while I was very successful on the surface, I paid the price on the inside (3 peptic ulcers, 1 suicide attempt). On my website I have a planning guide that was created to show you the path involved in transition from male to female. The female to male journey is similar at first and changes drastically when it comes to hormones and surgery.

We all desire to feel good about ourselves and to feel like we fit our bodies. Most people never question their gender since it feels right to them. The journey of transgender transition allows this feeling when we do the inner work of self acceptance as or before we transition physically. I have been working on my self-worth, acceptance and image for the past 30 years. Every experience we have contributes to how we see ourselves, behave and present ourselves to the world. The hardest part of transition for me has been leaving the past in the past and simply being myself. Habits can be hard to break and one of those is living in the past or the future while we ignore the present. The transition involves breaking down, in MtoF case the male persona so the natural female can emerge. This past year of living life my way has been a good feeling for me, but not always so good for others.

When I look in the mirror now I see the person I feel like and that makes Loving me so much easier. The transgender community is often accused of being self absorbed or narcissistic but that just is not the case even though it may appear that way. Let me end today with this thought. The world happens inside out, so we all must love ourselves first. Ultimately, Loving ourselves is Loving others, because we are all one! Oneness for those who are new to this concept is God is all there is – everything is God. By Loving yourself you are Loving God. By Loving another you are loving God. By Loving life you are Loving God! The same goes for your other emotions. Please be easy on yourself though as much of our thoughts and actions are learned and can be unlearned which is what transition is all about!

Smile, God is watching you 😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Post-op Regret – Who do you Love?

by Sequoia Elisabeth

The last two posts covered post transition grief and they touched on Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Now I would like to get more specific, post-op grief or regret is sometimes experienced by Post-op Transsexuals. I have been researching gender issues and transgenderism for about 10 years now and can remember stories from back in my high school days and the warnings my psychiatrist father gave me saying, if you are not happy before surgery then you will not be happy after surgery.

He makes a good point, but his view is skewed because he sees the failures not the successes. The successes go on with life and never look back! It is those who are dealing with possibly other issues besides transgenderism that end up at the psychiatrist’s office. The difference between the successes and the failures is often the same issue that all transgender individuals deal with daily, self-acceptance. Whether they have surgery or not, being accepted is an issue that everyone goes through with varying levels of success.

It seems that the transgender community has a larger challenge with this than the general population which is reflected in the 50% suicide attempt rate in our community. I have attempted it myself and have to talk myself out of it on a regular basis. Just briefly as this could be a whole blog, suicide is selfish because it hurts everyone you love. So it simply is not a choice, as my ex would tell her kids in her pre-school class. Which is what it is really all about anyway, choice! There are always other options.

So let’s get back to this issue of post op regret. There have been some very high profile examples of this such as Renee Richards and in the documentary “Almost Myself” by Tom Murray. It is strange how people love to focus on the failures in life. In the cases that I have observed, several reasons for post-op grief are not knowing who you are, not accepting who you are, and trying to be something you are not. Not all transgender individuals are transsexual. Where we fall on the gender sliding scale is a personal awareness that comes from getting to know yourself. Is it your desire to be like others so that you can fit into one of the two “accepted” boxes society has created, male or female? Are you comfortable being in the sex role of your birth body? Only you know if it feels right or not and unless you are honest with yourself surgery could make things worse.

Anyway, I think it comes down to one thing and that is self-acceptance. It matters not what others think of you, really! This is how it works, our thoughts are like a radiant field of energy and they surround us constantly, usually only about 10 feet or so, but in some situations they can be directed as far as we can imagine – around the globe and beyond. If you are holding the thought “do they know I am transgender” or whatever, those thoughts are going to be picked up eventually by someone. How you think about yourself determines in a large part how you are treated! What thoughts are you projecting? I still have much work to do, but I pass fairly easily and I am 6’11” 265lbs. I am a woman, I know it, always have been, but I have not always known it. I am not saying that I pass all the time, just that I usually do. Most people make a big deal about my size saying something on the order of “you are the biggest woman I have ever seen”. The other experience that I am thrilled about is that I rarely have anyone treat me rudely which goes for my entire life. Our thoughts precede us! When you are frustrated and angry the world knows this because you are radiating it everywhere you go, which is reflected back to us in events that usually frustrate us further. Our thoughts are a self fulfilling prophecy. We create our world with our thoughts, words and actions! More on this next time.

Blessings, 😉 Sequoia Elisabeth

Hello world!

by Sequoia Elisabeth

Welcome to WordPress.com. Transitions is an Awesome Blog! The journey of Love is indeed a fantastic experience with gifts around every corner and exciting new adventures on each horizon. Thanks for dropping by 🙂

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